Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The 10 Facts

In honor of my new follower DCFresh (I have absolutely NO idea who she is but I love her 10 Facts posts), I am going to do the 10 Facts.

So, here are the facts that need to be shared with you this week. I probably won't add pictures, cause I haven't really figured out how to do that yet. I hope you don't mind DCFresh.

#1 I currently believe that I have been in love exactly twice. I have probably told too many girls that I loved them when in reality I do not. It's hard though. I think you find out that you love someone a bit when you tell them and I think you always tell someone that you love them before you actually do.

#2 I don't like most Christmas music. I went to two Christmas choir concerts this year and didn't like a single song sung. "All I want for Christmas" "Last Christmas" "Simply having a wonderful christmas time" and "So this is Christmas" are basically the only exceptions and not one of those songs was performed!

#3 I don't floss. I know I should, I have tried to get into the habit. But I have a hard time seeing the benefits. And it hurts. My gums bleed.

#4 I have been on more blind dates than Ray Charles. When I passed his mark, there was no fanfare. I would have liked a little fanfare.

#5 The name Tripp Hazard comes from a combination of a character in a Jennifer Love Hewitt movie and a song by Richard Marx.

#6 I have absolutely zero attraction for Mariah Carey. I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole. In fact, I wouldn't touch her with a 39 and a half foot pole. Take that grinch.

#7 I have a secret crush on Miranda Lambert the country singer. Yeah, she looks haggard. Yeah, she writes songs about killing ex boyfriends and burning their houses down. I get it, we probably aren't made for each other.

#8 You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need. That's a fact.

#9 Stainless steel refrigerators are not magnetic. Fake stainless steel ones are. Bummer.

#10 "Wanna come over and watch a movie?" after 10 at night is code for "Wanna come over and make out?"

Monday, December 28, 2009

This blog turns 50 or the grinch that stole Christmas

Last week, I went on a date with LadyGuadalupe. I met LadyGuadalupe several years ago through my friend Mogul. Apparently I forgot her the first time I met her, cause the second time I met her, I didn't remember meeting her previously. Mogul gave me a lot of crap for it. Mogul has been down on his luck a little and so he was less likely to harass me this time around. LadyGuadalupe is an extremely nice fun and pretty girl. We have hung out several times and I think she is pretty cool. This was our first date. She lives in another state, has spent the past year or so studying in Paris and Hawaii, and so I never see her.

We had dinner and talked with Mogul and his wife. It was a fairly fun date. I have just been so down on myself lately that I am not really sure I know how to have fun. The complications of dating LadyGuadalupe are many. Besides her being the cousin of Mogul, she lives far away, she wants to do an internship in New York City as soon as she graduates, and she is much quieter than me. I worry sometimes that the quieter girls find me extremely annoying. So even though I had a fun time with her and thought highly of her, it is doubtful that I will take her on another date.

So I added Swift as a friend on Facebook and she accepted. Then, when I looked today, we were no longer friends on Facebook. Did she seriously accept my friendship request and then remove me from her friends? It just seems so odd. So much for the suggestion that we hang out. TheWriter and I have been texting a bunch. Perhaps one of the reasons I am so depressed is cause I enjoy talking to TheWriter so much and yet I know nothing is ever going to happen. I almost wonder if maybe I am sort of lying to myself to keep her as a friend.

Last week I went and hung out with Premed. I met Premed through BFF. We had a really good conversation (although I might have made her cry a bit). Premed was recently divorced and is still having a bit of a rough go. I think maybe she can sense that I am having a bit of a rough time with life right now too.

Monday, December 21, 2009

A blind date

On Friday night, Sugarloaf (one of my really good friends) and I headed to this pool party. As is typical at most mormon parties, roughly 2 guys showed up for every girl. I know that girls complain sometime about not meeting guys, but I think it is totally their fault. After all, basically every party or group event that I attend is at least 2 guys for every girl. To talk to a girl, you have to interrupt the two guys that are already talking to her. The system is so diluted with guys that even some of the mormon aristocracy wander around aimlessly without girls. Sugarloaf and I tried talking to a few girls but with no luck. I played foosball for a few minutes with a girl I didn't find at all attractive and then we left.

Saturday, littlebrother and his friend GetErDone were hanging out at my house. GetErDone and littlebrother had dates for the night planned. GetErDone decided he wanted to set me up and he began calling girl after girl in search of a date for me. I think he must have called four or five girls before he got in touch with BananaRepublic (hereinafter "Banana"). Banana manages a store and is 29 and quite spunky. We ate dinner at CPK. It was quite fun. After dinner, we went to my house to play Nerts. Banana and I dominated the other teams.

Things I like about Banana: Very spunky, cute, intelligent (has a degree), gets excited about life, asks questions

Things I don't like about banana: Basically nothing. There were no red flags on the first date. Still, I just wasn't that excited about the date afterward. When my brother asked me if I was going to take her out again, I said "maybe." As my Realtor will attest, when I say maybe about something, it means no.

On Sunday, I went to church and saw SouthernBelle. I didn't really talk to her but she smiled at me. I think I am pretty much done with that pipe dream. I saw her again at ward prayer that night. We talked for a second and she gave me a look like maybe she expected me to talk to her more. I guess when she canceled our date and said to our mutual friend that I was too old, it sorta made me decide to back off. I am still very interested in going out with her again but I doubt I will ask her out again. There was one cute girl at ward prayer named Surfer. I talked with her for a few minutes but was only borderline interested in asking her out. Lorelei and I went to a dessert party on Sunday night. None of the mormon aristocracy showed up. I probably should have been in my element but I actually felt more uncomfortable at this party. There were two girls at the whole party that I was mildly attracted to. I didn't talk to either.

Side notes: I still haven't talked to Swift. I kinda really want to take her out right now. TheWriter and I are nowhere near a relationship but I do think it would hurt her feelings. I feel like even inviting Swift over to hang out with me and my friends would be a violation of some sort of trust. At church on Sunday, this kid who wants to go to law school and be a patent attorney told me he had two girls he wanted to set me up with that I met at ward prayer that he knows. I just can't remember his name.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Friend of a friend of a friend

Last night, TheWriter came over with six of her friends. They had been looking at Christmas lights and stopped by for hot chocolate and conversation. It was really fun having them over. TheWriter is a really cool girl. Way chill and way fun. Quite honestly though, TheWriter is just not for me. I am not attracted to her like that. So of course, she brings along a friend that I am very attracted to.

Swift is her friend. She teaches at an elementary school. She is much more quiet and calm than TheWriter. She is very pretty. She seems very intelligent but fun. There ought to be a way for me to just ask Swift out without having to worry about TheWriter. After all, I have only been out with TheWriter once, and last night was the second time we hung out. We aren't in a relationship. We haven't held hands, we haven't kissed, we haven't cuddled. There is an unspoken set of rules that say you can't date the friend of someone you have dated. By my interpretation, those rules apply to Swift because I took TheWriter out on one date. Is there a way to accomplish me taking Swift out without breaking the unspoken rules? If not, perhaps it is time that I stop following "the rules." They haven't exactly done much for me anyway. Why should I be prevented from dating friends, sisters, roommates, or cousins?

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Mormon Aristocracy

I just googled "mormon dating blog" to see when my blog came up. Yep, there it was, number 134 out of about 860,000. It made me feel pretty special to know I was in the top .02% of mormon dating blogs.

Last night I went to a Sub for Santa party. Everyone donates money and then we go shopping and buy gifts for some needy families. TheFlake was there. Well, she showed up late as we were wrapping presents. I didn't actually see her help at all. I think TheFlake is part of what I will refer to as the mormon aristocracy. Granted, it's no Paris Hilton or English royalty group. Nevertheless, these single beautiful mormon people seem to run the social scene around here.

It isn't so clear cut as to who is in or out of the mormon aristocracy. I am pretty sure that I have a number of acquaintances who belong to this privileged social class. I see them at the same parties. I talk with them for a bit. They usually aren't very interested in talking to me. It's almost like they can immediately sense that I am not mormon royalty and therefore not worth the time. If TheFlake is part of mormon royalty, that would explain why she is so standoffish.

There really weren't any other prospects last night. A couple cute girls were there. I tried to join into their conversation which sounded something like this "Right now I have two sets of season tickets to SportingTeam. One set is on the 6th row in center court. Well, actually they are my grandpa's but he loves me so much. Since I was little he was wrapped around my little finger." Yuck. I felt like I was in an episode of the Hills or something.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Non-date dating

I go on a fair amount of non-date dates. In a non-date date, it's almost like a date except without the romantic interest. In other words, a non-date date is hanging out with a friend that is a girl where everything else sort of moves like a date. Such non-date dates include hanging out with BFF, hanging out with Lorelei, and last night's hangout with KJo. KJo and I met in law school and became fast friends, although I can tell at times that she must restrain herself from criticizing my haphazard life. It's only natural, KJo is a grounded girl that is very conservative while I am not. I tend to be too spontaneous and headstrong. But that doesn't stop us from being friends. I should mention that none of the girls I go on non-date dates with would consider them dates. The dates typically include the three P's of dating as instructed by mormon church leaders: Paired off, Planned for, and Paid for. However, they never include the less mentioned fourth P: Put out.

It's just me hanging out with a good friend doing something fun. A lot of the time, it just makes sense for me to pay, since I am the one who initiated whatever hairbrained scheme activity that we are participating in. I hope my non-date dating friends aren't upset if I write about some of my adventures with them.

Last night, KJo and I went to TJ-Maxx. TJ-Maxx is like the lower middle class version of the DI (which is like a low class version of a department store). They sell underwear, perfume, rugs, dishes, chocolate, lamps, etc. It's basically all stuff that didn't sell at some other store and is now greatly discounted. One time, I found a zebra skin dog pillow, a cheetah skin dog pillow and a giraffe skin dog pillow there. I purchased all three, even though I own no dogs.

While walking out of TJ-Maxx, KJo and I saw a flier on the ground for an open house at Dream Dinners. Neither of us knew exactly what Dream Dinners even did, so we ventured in to have a look see. The place was hilarious. Basically, you show up, they have all the groceries purchased, you cut stuff up to prepare these meals, freeze them, and then cook them at home. You can also pay an additional $25 to have them do all that work for you. I ended up spending $250. The idea is that these meals are healthy, tasty and easy to cook. I could almost see KJo's eyes rolling as I signed up for this service. KJo is an excellent cook and just finds my inabilities rather humorous. So, in the future, look for me to be cooking some fabulous meals for friends, family members, roommates and perhaps even dates.

Honestly though, I think cooking dinner for a date is a bad idea. It's like being the nice guy. Girls would swear up and down that they want a nice guy but the truth of the matter is, girls have NO IDEA what they want! Why? It's probably the same reason I am really attracted to slutty girls. Evolution dictates that slutty girls are the most likely candidate for a guy to mate with. Evolution also dictates that douche bag guys are the most likely candidate for a girl to mate with.

Monday, December 14, 2009

A long December

Last week I went to my younger brother C's high school choir concert. While there, I saw Bella. I have never met Bella, at least not formally. I have seen her a number of times over the past 6 years since she first started dating my younger T. Actually, T died while they were dating.

Of course it's weird that I want to take Bella out. I understand that. It's been over six years since T died but sometimes wounds like that never fully heal. Still, I am drawn to her. She is very pretty, she seems easy to talk to (from what my brothers say), and I just think I would like to get to know her better. I am considering asking her out. Not just considering it, I am darn near ready to follow through on it. Both of my younger brother's gave me the green light. They see nothing wrong with it. My mom just said she is kind of young. But she is older than plenty of the girls I go out with. I have more of a complex than normal that me contacting her will come across as desperate or as creepy thanks to comments on this blog.

Problem is, I don't have her phone number. So I would have to message her on facebook. Perhaps there is no legitimate way to do it using facebook. Should I instead just let this glimmer of hope die?

On Friday, I went to a Christmas concert with BFF. BFF is probably my best friend that is a girl. Even though it wasn't a date, at least writing about it implies that I am out doing things social. On Saturday, I met with FormerLesbian for breakfast. I think she is cool but there is absolutely no spark there. It breaks my heart to tell her this. I feel like the kid in Ol Yeller who has to go shoot his dog cause it has rabies. Call me cruel but I think when it comes to relationships, I would rather just let it suffer and die naturally than put it down when it is obvious that the relationship isn't going to make it.

Monday, December 7, 2009

In defiance

I thought about this blog the entire weekend. I struggled with continuing the blog while I drank Pepsi and went bowling. In between rounds of Call of Duty, while hanging up Christmas lights on my house, and while decorating my Christmas tree, I thought about why I date and also why I blog about it.

I have known for some time that I occasionally come across as desperate while on a date. It's not something I am comfortable admitting. It's because I want to get married and because I am tired of playing games. When I meet a girl that I like, I think I must wear my heart on my sleeve. Likewise, when I am not sure about a girl, I think I act lukewarm about her rather than just being upfront. I don't want to hurt any girl's feelings and I don't want to get my feelings hurt. These are things I need to improve on. After all, stringing a girl along does no more for her feelings than being honest upfront. It just makes it easier for me.

I don't mean to prey on the young girls in the ward. I think I attend a particularly young ward and so when I ask any girl out from the ward, odds are she is 19 and a freshman in college and living at home with her parents. I can change wards but can I really expect it to be any different elsewhere? Some people have suggested reducing my dating pool to only girls that are 25 and older. I struggle with this because a) I basically never meet any single girls over 25 that I am attracted to, b) I hardly ever meet any single girls over 25 period, and c) why should a relatively small group of people dictate who I date? If a girl doesn't want to go out with me, she has every right to say no. If a girl does want to go out with me, she will say yes.

In the end, I decided that Jill and Jessica and Fighter attacking me is not enough justification for shutting down the blog. Perhaps it is time that I grow some skin. I am sorry you didn't feel any chemistry with me Fighter. I obviously liked you and how you can find that offensive is beyond me.

On Saturday, I had a first date with TheWriter. We had pizza with my parents and brother and his date. Then we went to this Christmas concert. Finally, we watched a movie at my house. I met TheWriter online (incidentally, I canceled my online account - online dating is not for me) and this was our first time meeting each other. I had fun with TheWriter but didn't really feel any chemistry with her. Of course, I was still fuming from Friday. I might take her out again but right now, I am not feeling all that positive about dating.

Friday, December 4, 2009

The end

I am sorry that I came across as desperate, as a douchebag, as a disgusting sleazebag, as an idiot stalker, etc. I thought it would be funny and interesting to hear about my dating life from my perspective but I was wrong. Maybe dating just isn't for me to begin with.

I hope ending this blog helps everyone rest a little easier.

Love Tripp Hazard

In response

Dear Jessica:

Thanks for your comment. It was quite possibly the meanest thing any person has ever said or written about me. It made me seriously reconsider my reasons for writing this blog and also my reasons for continuing to go on dates. Perhaps you are just as bitter about dating as I am and you are only taking it out on me to make yourself feel better. What have I done that spreads negative Karma? You basically are saying that it is shallow for me to want a spouse that I find attractive. It is absurd to think I will marry a girl that I do not find attractive! Not once have I stated that I want a model or that a girl has to have a certain level of attractiveness. I simply want a girl that I am attracted to. If that makes me a disgusting sleazebag, then perhaps you should reconsider your definition of disgusting sleazebag so as to not include everyone in our society.

Also, I don't claim to be anything. When I said I was handsome and charming, it was said facetiously.

Love Tripp Hazard

Dear Jill:

I am a real person. I am not a douche bag. I am not a woman. All of the dates I went on were real dates. I may not be perfect but I am trying. Perhaps I am a fugly loser and no amount of money is worth being with me. It is unfortunate that I am twenty-something and single and struggling with dating. After reading your blog, it appears you are 28 and single and struggling with dating as well. It's hard when life doesn't work out the way we planned. But I am trying. I have heard many a girl complain that mormon guys just don't ask girls out on dates. As awful as I may seem in your imagination, at least I am making an effort. I am sorry that I am one of those "idiots that are so pervasive in Mormon culture." But whether I am an idiot or not, at least I am trying. I wanted this blog to be an honest insight into my dating life and I think I succeeded. I may have said some things that you find rude or insensitive. I apologize for that. However, those were my honest feelings and opinions. The blog isn't attempting to parody single mormon dating from a guy's perspective; it IS single mormon dating from a guy's perspective. I appreciate your comments, even though they are offensive. I hope that all the fugly losers out there with money stop asking mormon girls out on dates, since the girls seem to find it so distasteful.

Love Tripp Hazard

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Is it for me?

So one of my friends Foot was doing her visiting teaching. Good mormon girl type activity. Now, I am not sure how it came up but she starts telling the girl she is visiting teaching about my date with SouthernBelle. Sometime along the way, the girl she is visiting teaching stops her and says "I went on that date! I am SouthernBelle." Yeah, pretty embarrassing. She didn't see the blog but I am sure that my level of dorkiness in her book went way up. I mean, what guy blogs about his dates? I had serious thoughts of ending A Date with Tripp Hazard because of this incident. Foot also informed me that SouthernBelle thinks I am kinda old. Now that really hurt my feelings. Anyone who has met me knows that I have a young spirit. I neither look nor act my age. I called SouthernBelle on it and she said that she hates gossip and that it wasn't what she said. Who knows?

On Sunday at ward prayer, I hardly said a word to SouthernBelle. The whole activity was literally crawling with 19 year old girls. I talked to two different girls for most of the time. Both were 19. Then I met MathCheerCoach. MathCheerCoach is a math teacher at a local high school. She also is the cheer coach. We talked a little but she didn't seem that interested in talking with me. Plus, she doesn't want to stay here. She wants to move someplace warm. That's great, except my house, my career, my family and my life are here. So it's two strikes against her already.

SouthernBelle and I agreed to go out this Saturday but she texted me last night and had to cancel. I am sort of up a river without a paddle right now. My first thought was to call TheWriter. She and I met online but haven't met yet. Thing is, I have seen lots of pictures of her (there are almost 1000 on facebook) and I am only attracted to her in about 10% of those. I know, what a weird number. TheWriter is goofy and fun and outgoing, but if I am not attracted to her, I certainly won't start dating her. My next thought was Aussie. I messaged her on facebook but she said her parents were in town and she had to spend time with them. I am still considering other girls, including MathCheerCoach, Virginia, and TheFlake. Virginia is a girl I have never met that added me as a friend on facebook. We have several mutual friends. Looking at her pictures, I am very attracted to her. TheFlake is a girl I have had a crush on in the past. She works at a dry cleaning place and is quite flaky. But gorgeous and spunky and fun and cute and just so attractive.

Last night I went and hung out with FormerLesbian. I found it a bit disturbing. First, I met her mother. Overweight but nice. Second, I found out FormerLesbian has lost 80 pounds. She used to weigh 225. Now, that's great that she lost all of that weight but I still see that as a negative. Finally, FormerLesbian acts like she is in love with me already. I may be handsome and charming, but I am not THAT handsome or THAT charming. So it makes me awfully suspicious when a girl starts having feelings for me that early on that are that strong. Plus, when I feel lukewarm and they come on strong, it's definitely a turnoff.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Lots to report

Since I was on a cruise for the past week and didn't get a chance to blog prior to the cruise, I have lots to report on. First off, I finally texted Nomad about two weeks ago saying we shouldn't hang out anymore. I was surprised how well it went. She said that the chemistry wasn't quite there and wished me good luck. It was refreshing.

The next day SouthernBelle came over to visit. I met SouthernBelle a few weeks ago at church. At first, I must be honest, I wasn't that interested. She was really cool but shy and quiet which I generally shy away from. My brother invited SouthernBelle over but halfway through, he said he was tired and went to bed. While talking to her, I found that I thought she was pretty cool. When she was leaving, I told her how hard it was to get out of my neighborhood and gave her my number just in case. Of course, she texted me that night to say she made it out and that she had fun.

On Friday night, I had a first date with FormerLesbian. I met FormerLesbian online. When she first told me about her "history" I was a little skeptical but who am I to judge someone for their past. I told her I would pick her up in my truck and I think she thought that was super cool. FormerLesbian is training to become an airplane mechanic. Yeah, I know, I hardly ever date airplane mechanics. The date was pretty fun. It was obvious that FormerLesbian was very interested in me and I thought she was pretty cool. I definitely had fun on our date and wanted to hang out with her again. We ate dinner and saw a movie and called it quits early.

The next morning I had lunch with SouthernBelle. Lunch went fairly well. SouthernBelle has not been in this state long and its kinda obvious that she doesn't intend to end up here. That isn't to say there isn't a chance. Just that she grew up in much greener pastures and the cold of the snow plus the unfriendliness here plus the fruit not tasting as good plus the lack of beaches works out to make this state not a particularly desirable destination. The conversation lulled a few times with SouthernBelle but I didn't really care. I had fun.

While on vacation in San Diego, I went to the beach with some friends for a bonfire. I ended up meeting the Actress there. The Actress went to BYU studying directing and now does theater I guess. I think my buddy kinda likes her. I ended up playing with the Actress' feet while she was on the couch and I felt a bit of a connection. I already know what kind of hell TheCaptain is going to give me for this.

Dear the Captain:
I kinda liked the Actress. She added me as a friend on facebook. I accepted her request. I saw that she added my brother so I don't think she was facebook stalking me, although maybe she was. You are probably my closest friend even though we sometimes fight and you are sometimes mean to me. I promise I won't step on your toes.
Love Tripp Hazard

On Sunday, I flew home. FormerLesbian was texting me and she invited me over to her house to watch a movie. I accepted. We ended up making out. I can already hear the tsk tsk of criticism from my friend(s) in NYC that think(s) I should stop kissing girls I don't like. And it's probably right. I knew that I felt a bit lukewarm about FormerLesbian but I went over and made out with her anyway. Suprisingly, I wasn't as scared off as with some of the other girls. I still plan to go out with her again. But, I know exactly what it is like to hang out with a girl and come home with stars in my eyes and birds all around me and Sunday night was not one of those nights. I think part of me honestly worries that I will never experience that again. Or that if I do, I should avoid it cause those are the times I get hurt the most.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Little Shop of Horrors

On Saturday, I went on the date with Anniversary. I picked her up a little after 6. It's actually been 2 years since I last saw her. I will admit that I wasn't smitten by her looks. She is a cute girl and I think she is very pretty but I am more attracted to her personality than I am to her looks. Anniversary reminds me so much of a girl I went to high school. Super fun loving and extra talkative. I think perhaps the right word would be spunk. Anniversary has lots of spunk. We went to dinner and there wasn't a dull moment in the conversation. We had lots to talk about. Anniversary is a very religious girl but unlike lots of other super duper religious girls, Anniversary doesn't make me kinda feel like I want to be a bit rebellious. Instead, around her I want to be a better person. Probably the biggest reason I don't date super duper religious girls is because of this. So I was pleasantly surprised that I felt motivated to be better around Anniversary.

Little Shop of Horrors was pretty funny. It's a really dorky play to begin with. But I know that Anniversary had fun and I definitely had fun. Some of the music numbers in it are pretty good and some are pretty bad. After the play, Anniversary and I went back to the same restaurant where we had dinner to get dessert. Kinda random but I thought it would be fun. The dessert was excellent. Again, the conversation went really well. We didn't really bring up the fact that she had just turned in her mission papers. Then I took her home. The date ended early, probably around 10:30. There was a brief hug and I said goodnight and took off. She texted me about 30 minutes later to say "Dearest Tripp - thanks so much for driving down here. It was so good to see you. I had fun tonight." I responded with "Dearest Anniversary. Tonight was fun. Little shop of horrors was good. Let me know if you want to do it again (no pressure)"

The next day I received a text from Anniversary saying "hey i'm so sorry for not responding - my phone died last night. It would be fun to do something again - let me know next time you are in town."
The next time I am in town? Ok, she lives about 40 minutes away from me. But it isnt exactly the type of situation where I will buzz there on business or something. I drove down for our date and thats exactly what I would do if we went on another date. I had my reservations about this one and now, I am kinda wondering how much more effort to put into it. I mean, she is probably moving home in 4 weeks and probably leaving on her mission in a few months. So, if we are going to fall in love, it would have to be in the next four weeks. I will be gone all next week and she will have finals for one week. Logistically it just doesnt seem likely. Should i ask her out again for this week and see if anything comes from it? Or refocus my efforts elsewhere?

Side notes: Nomad has been texting me like crazy. I think after two dates, a text rejection makes plenty of sense. That way I can be direct without having to see her again. I feel really bad about it. I definitely dont want to hurt her feelings. She just isn't right for me and I know it. It's a lot better than dragging it out for a few more weeks right?

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Gypsy Women

I had my second date with Nomad on Tuesday night. We went to dinner at a local steakhouse. I mentioned before how I felt lukewarm about her before. Well, on this second date, it went from lukewarm to cold. I mean, she is a cool girl, but I am just not attracted to her enough. And, she isn't quite as much fun to be around. Basically, I just don't have feelings for her. We went back to my house and watched the Proposal. Awful movie. Absolutely no chemistry between the stars. Well, we were cuddling on the couch and the movie was lame so I ended up making out with her. I know, I set myself up. It's those freaking lukewarm situations that always get me into trouble. You see, now, I think Nomad kinda likes me. She texted me last night and said she was starving and wanted to know if I wanted to go to dinner with her, her treat. I had kinda hoped I might have a few more days to figure out what I was going to do (not that I was going to figure anything out, but it just feels good sometimes to procrastinate it). I thought fast and texted a couple of my friends. One texted back (DougFunny) saying he was going hottubbing and I should come. Then, I texted Nomad and said that I was just on my way out to meet some friends (which was true!). This is why you don't kiss girls that you don't like. Now, I have to figure out a way out of this without her hating men (cause I can't let my whole half of the species be guilty based on my fault) or hating me.

On Tuesday night, I was online and I saw that Anniversary was online. I haven't talked to Anniversary in a long time. I met her while in school two years ago. For some reason, I was totally driven to ask Anniversary out on a date. So, I jumped on her facebook page and right there was an interesting fact. People were commenting on her decision to serve an LDS mission on her wall. Ughh, why am I so attracted to drama? I had two years to ask this girl out on a date and I get an inclination to ask her out right before she is going on a mission? Well, I messaged her anyway and we talked for a minute and I found out she was going to turn her papers in THAT night. I told her I wanted to take her out on a date, but only if she would promise that if we fell madly in love, she would not go on the mission. She agreed and we are going out on Saturday. How can this end in anything other than pain? I mean, there is basically no way that I am going to convince her to not go on a mission. She isn't going to fall madly in love with me on our first date. Nevertheless, I follow my gut. I bought tickets to see Little Shop of Horrors. I am looking forward to the date but, if what I want is a serious relationship, perhaps I am going about it wrong.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Ex Post Facto

I had my first online dating experience on Friday night. It was actually pretty fun. We met at this little french bakery downtown. I immediately recognized her from the photos online. Her face was maybe a little chubbier than I would have liked but she looked pretty good. We had dessert there and then went back to my house to meet up with my friends Sugarloaf and Foot. They seemed awfully excited to double with me on that night. Looking back, I think they just wanted to be there for the online dating experience. We went to a haunted house. Remember the glory days when you were little and haunted houses were SO scary? Well, I do. I hated them. But now, they aren't really scary at all and I kinda wish they were. There were a couple scary moments and Nomad and I had a lot of fun. She definitely got scared and had to hold on to me.

After the haunted house, we went back to my house and just hung out. Nomad and I ended up on the couch in my front room. We may or may not have kissed. I know I know, criticize me for it. I suppose I deserve it. If you know me well enough, though, you will know that I really only kiss the girls on a first date that I feel lukewarm about. If its hot or cold, I abstain. But, the thing is, I wonder if maybe kissing some of the girls that I liked early on might have helped my situation. Like with HelloNurse the previous weekend. I probably could have kissed her. I know she liked me. I know she had fun. I am guessing that what happened is she got home feeling very confused and then talked to this other guy she was dating and decided to back off with me. Maybe kissing me would have messed with her mind a little and caused her to want to go out with me. Maybe not, but at least I would have gotten to kiss her. I have been thinking about HelloNurse today. I even looked her up on the facebook. She is very pretty. One of my friends (TheCaptain) was very mean to me when I told him the story about HelloNurse. He was like "read your blog, it's full of stories of you liking any girl you meet that is cute" and maybe that is true. I sure don't feel like it is true. I mean, I go out with lots of girls. I meet lots of girls. I know lots of girls. I like a relative few of them. Still, I kinda wish something had gone somewhere with HelloNurse. Nomad and I are going to hang out/go out tomorrow night. Is it a waste of time if I only feel lukewarm about her right now? My feeling is that it isn't because if I really didn't want to see her, I wouldn't schedule time to see her.

I have been texting the online girl TheWriter today. Personality wise, I just click with her so well. And in some of her pictures, she is very very pretty. But in some of them, she just isn't. I mean, nobody takes a good picture every time. But hers are about half and half. I would say more than half the pictures taken of me look like I look on a regular basis. So, it makes me a bit nervous.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Smooth Criminals or The good the bad and the ugly

On wednesday night, I decided to give one of the girls I met online a call. Her name is TheWriter. She looked pretty cute from the pictures posted and seemed really cool. We had been messaging back and forth for like two weeks so I guess it was time. The phone call was great. We really clicked. I could tell that she was the same person in real life that she appeared from all her writings. It was a short phone conversation but it went well. So TheWriter added me as a friend on facebook later that night and I decided to check out her photos. One of those "don't mind if I do" moments. The thing about an online dating site is that you get to choose what photos you put on there. So it's really easy to place yourself in the best light. I was a little disappointed. I mean, TheWriter looked the same as she did in her pictures on the dating site but some of her pictures kinda made it looks like she was a bit heavier. Hard to tell. It was disappointing to me. If you had been at my house that evening, you could see how my mood changed. I just had such high hopes for this girl. Of course, maybe she isn't that bad. It was hard to tell from the photos. My plan is still to take her on a date because I don't have much to lose.

Last night I talked on the phone with a second girl from the online dating website named Nomad. It was another very fun conversation. I think we talked for like 2 hours. Of course, I am a talker anyway, so talking on the phone with me that long isn't hard. Nomad looks to have a very curvy body from her pictures. So, the conversation went well and we are meeting up tonight for our first date after the Governor's Gala. Holy snap, my first date ever with someone I met online. Well, only sorta. About 5 or 6 years ago, I met this girl in a chatroom and we met up at some party and then watched some of a movie later. But that doesn't really count. I can already tell that I click with her on a personality level. The big question is "will I be attracted to her in person" and also "will she be attracted to me in person?" One can never predict. I kinda hope I am. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Dating is a drag

On Friday, I received a call from this girl HelloNurse that I had shown some interest in a few weeks ago. She was with a boy then and I told her to let me know when she was done with him and maybe we could go out. HelloNurse was calling to see if I would like to go on a date with her on Saturday night. I already had a date for Saturday night with House, so I suggested we go out on Tuesday (today) which she accepted. Then, later that evening, my friend Sugarloaf and the girl he is dating Foot called and suggested I find a date and double with them. So, I called up HelloNurse and she said she would like to go. She drove down to my house which is about 40 minutes from where she lives.

With my friends, we first went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. Not my favorite but they do make a decent piece of cake. The line there was 40 minutes, which is not at all unusual. I will never understand the obsession people have with that place. If you like the cheesecake so much, just go in and buy a slice of cheesecake. The food is very average yet overpriced and the service isn't exactly fantastic. While waiting, we went looking for pumpkins at the grocery store. HelloNurse and I each picked out a nice sized pumpkin for carving. HelloNurse and I also had the chance to play a prank on my friend's date. Dinner went well and I started feeling pretty comfortable around HelloNurse. Some of my friends don't think she is cute, but I do. She is definitely within my dating realm.

We went back to my house and carved the pumpkins. It was a lot of fun. Realistically, just about anything is fun with the right people and just about anything is not fun with the wrong people. So, for that night, carving pumpkins was fun. Then, we rented Drag Me to Hell and watched it. Kind of a funny horror movie, which I wasn't expecting. Overall, I wasn't a huge fan. But, I did get plenty of cuddle time with HelloNurse. I don't cuddle with girls I am not interested in. That's a rule. I think lots of girls do cuddle with guys they aren't interested in, which definitely confuses me. Nevertheless, I felt really good about the date with HelloNurse. We agreed to go out again on Tuesday (tonight).

On Saturday, I had my date with House. We went to the football game with my parents. They lost, badly, but it was still fun. I really enjoy talking with House on a variety of topics. She is very intelligent, has an excellent job, and is well traveled. Plus, my parents love her. I think they might actually be willing to give me a larger piece of the inheritance if I were to marry House. We went to dinner after and the conversation was great. There is never a dull or quiet moment with because she is so spunky. Still, I am just not interested in her that way. It would sure make my life simpler if I were.

Last night, I texted HelloNurse to confirm our date for tonight. She called me right after and said "Before you drive up to see me and spend money on me, I feel like I should let you know where I stand, cause I don't know where you stand. Basically, I see you and I as just friends, and I would love to hang out with you as just friends tomorrow if you still want." I didn't know how to respond so I was just like "umm, ok, lets hang out tomorrow" and got off the phone with her. I took a minute to regroup and then wrote her a text saying "Hey i thought about it more and decided that i dont need any more friends in my life. I had a lot of fun with you on friday and i know you have (expletive removed) going on in your life and you are moving to (location) but if you arent willing to give me a chance then i probably shouldnt waste time driving up there. thanks for having the guts to tell me. Let me know if you change your mind." One of my friends said that I should keep asking her out, so she knows I am available. I am very resistant to that idea right now. I don't want to spend time and money taking girls out on dates when there is zero chance of anything happening. I know that lots of people had already made up their mind about a person but kept going out with them anyway and ended up falling in love (my sister is a great example of this) but that is the exception and not the rule. HelloNurse responded with "Yeah i definitely understand that. Im sorry. I will let you know if anything changes :) ill see ya around" which is basically what I expected. I am sure it is the other guy that is in the picture that she was with a few weeks ago. I got along with the guy but I know he is no catch.

Side note: I think I am just about ready to take a girl out from the online dating site. I have been messaging a few girls but I guess paying $15 a month to just message girls is kind of a waste.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Going blind

Last night I had my third blind date in less than a week. This was a set up from an ex girlfriend of littlebrother. I have been talking on the phone with Moonshine for the last week and she seemed pretty cool so I decided to go for it. She is 30, never married, and currently finishing up her generals towards nursing school. About an hour or two before the date, the friend setting us up emailed me a picture of Moonshine. Confession time, just based on looks, Moonshine is not my type. She had a look very similar to K1 from last week. Hard to describe. A tall skinny blonde look. Probably the look most people decide to set me up with. I entered the date feeling a bit disheartened. I know, I should explore every option and not discount a person prior to the first date.

We went to dinner at this Indian restaurant I really like. As usual, the food there was incredible. One thing I really liked about Moonshine is that she was able to be playfully sarcastic. Conversation is very important and a little sarcasm makes it all the better. Overall though, the conversation was not as great as I had hoped. For one, Moonshine toed the line a little too much between being opinionated and attacking my views. Overall though, the conversation was just fine.

While I was finishing up my Lamb Curry, Moonshine finished her dinner and pulled out her Tube-o-glossy-junk. Now, I have been on a lot of dates and I know that a lot of girls put stuff on their lips. I look away, try not to breath too much (cause the smell bothers me) and just hope they don't decide to go to an extreme. Moonshine went to a bit of an extreme. After applying half the tube to her lips and smacking them a couple times, she was finished. And pretty much done in my book. Before you start to attack me, hear this. I am not simply ruling Moonshine out as a potential mate because she put stuff on her lips. I wasn't particularly attracted to her, the conversation wasn't what I had hoped, and Moonshine had some strange opinions on different topics. But, the nail in the coffin was the lip garbage.

Of course, I am probably being extreme. But picture for yourself eating dinner and having the person you are eating with do the most disgusting thing you can think of right in front of you while you are mid bite. Maybe they are defecating, maybe they are burping, maybe they are farting, all of those things have a smell that you don't like. Sure, you say, but those things smell bad. Well, I don't like the smell of lip gloss any more than I like those smells.

Ok, I understand this is irrational. I know that someday when I am married, I will have to put up with a little lip stuff applied while I am eating just like most girls expect that whilst laying in bed with their husband at night, he is going to occasionally pass gas. But, I just felt like this was a little extreme and I am tired of it. Do girls honestly believe this is attractive? Am I the only guy out there who finds this repulsive?

On a more positive note, I have been messaging a girl TheWriter on the online dating thing for about a week now. She is attractive, intelligent, and a bit quirky. I am taking it really slow, because the whole online dating thing still scares me but I see some real possibilities. I have been messaging three other girls fairly regularly online. I am thinking I will take one out within a week or so. I also called House earlier today and asked her to the football game on Saturday. Should be fun. House lived next door to me growing up (til we were 5). She is cute, but I am just not attracted to her right now. I know, that sounds funny. I think that I could be attracted to her, but right now I am not. At least not in the romantic sense. House is very intelligent, great at conversation, and fun to be around. We went on a few dates right around the time I started going out with Belle.

How can I possibly let a girl know that lip gloss on the date grosses me out?

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Two for two blind dates

On friday evening, at about 6:30, I got a call from an old friend Francis who I went to engineering school with. He had just got engaged and wanted to set me up with his fiance's friend K1. I had no plans for Friday evening so I agreed to be set up. Francis' fiance was pretty cute so I was hopeful about K1. She was actually not too bad. Kinda cute. We went to a couple of haunted houses. K1 kept grabbing my arm and pushing up behind me to avoid getting spooked in the haunted houses. I don't know if girls realize this but that is exactly what you are supposed to do when on a date with a guy in a haunted house.

After the haunted houses, we went to the Belgian Waffle house. Talk about ghetto. I had never been to this place before. We were greeted by a character scarier than any we encountered in the haunted houses. Tall, skinny, oddly shaped, balding, but with a mullet. This guy was creepy. But he was only the beginning. Pretty much everyone at the place was inadvertently dressed for halloween. Our waitress said some of the funniest things. An older lady wearing way too much makeup. It was so great. And the food wasnt too bad either. K1 didn't look quite as pretty in the strange light of the Belgian Waffle house. I kinda already knew that I just wasn't interested in her. Still, the night was a lot of fun.

On Saturday, I had a blind date with K2. K2 is my boss' cousin from Ohio. 20 years old, goes to BYU, very shy. My boss and his wife doubled with us. I was so excited to go to this halloween event at a local theme park. On the drive over, I convinved K2 to sing us a song. She was actually a very good singer. I was surprised that someone as shy as her would sing to us in the car. I love that theme park. It's what fun is. Of course, so does everyone else on a saturday. The ride lines were longer than I have ever seen them. We managed to ride only four rides one time each plus go through one haunted house. We also ate dinner there and had a chance to play skee ball.

One of my favorite things about theme parks is playing skee ball. For some reason, I can win at it. Or maybe it's just that I have a bit of OCD and am able to just play over and over until eventually I can win. I won a large prize for K2. A large penguin I named Benji. I also won a small prize for my boss' daughter. Cause I am a winner. That's what winners do, they win prizes at skee ball.

The haunted house at the theme park was pretty lame. Not scary at all. I definitely had a lot of fun on the date with K2. K2 was definitely not my type though. I just need a more outgoing girl.

Side notes: I sent a message to the Australian girl Aussie on facebook but never heard back. I have been messaging a couple of girls on the dating website. One that lives in provo, TheWriter, seems particularly promising. I also called this girl Moonshine the other night and she seemed really promising. Littlebrother's exgirlfriend met her up in Idaho and sent me her number. I think I might call her tonight and try and take her out this week.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Internet Dating by the numbers

I thought you might find these numbers from my foray into online dating a bit interesting.
76 - the number of girls I have bookmarked (meaning the ones I am really interested in)
8 - the number of girls that have bookmarked me
2 - the number of girls I have bookmarked which also bookmarked me
3 - the number of girls who have given me their number without my asking for it
190 - the number of girls who have viewed my profile
40 - the number of messages I have sent to girls
40 - the number of messages I have received from girls
0 - the number of dates I have set up thus far
18.90 - amount I have currently spent

Thursday, October 8, 2009

A Dessert Party

Last night my buddy Sugarloaf called me and invited me to a desert party up north. I had nothing else going on so I said sure. We drove out to some really nice neighborhood. We only knew one guy who had been invited to the party. If you have ever seen the movie Swingers, it kinda reminds me of my life. We show up to some party at some house hosted by some person we don't know and probably won't even meet while we are there. We talk to a few people, down some cake and a bottle of water and hit the road. Last night was just as frustrating. We were about ready to go but I didn't want the night to be a total loss. My picking up girls lines mirror my soccer playing abilities. I am not horrible but nobody would ever describe me as good.

But then once in awhile, the stars align, the atmosphere around one of the moons of Saturn is at the right temperature, and a butterfly bats its wings off the coast of South America. Like last week at my soccer game. I had scored one goal all season and didn't feel any different going into the game. But somehow, I managed to score two goals and sort of just play like a champion. Relatively speaking.

Last night was kind of one of those times. I didn't just start walking up to girls, throwing out great lines. But, this girl was next to me and I sort of made my move. She was Australian. Now, I loves me some accents and Australian is near the top of my list. If you haven't heard me say it, the Australian accent is an automatic plus two. A girl with that accent automatically goes up two points on my 1-10 scale. On my new four tiered scale, an Australian accent would automatically bump a girl up from the second tier to the third tier or from the third tier to the fourth tier. Well, Aussie was a solid third tier girl. Perhaps even a fourth tier girl (which is the highest). Super pretty, in shape, and just fun. We talked for a little while and I just really enjoyed it. She is divorced. I didn't get her number. It was hard cause one of my buddies Tweak came along and sort of sideswiped the conversation. And then, she ended up in a different conversation with two dudes I didn't know and I ended up in a conversation with her friend Boutique. It was still fun. Even if nothing comes of it, last night recharged my batteries. As it turns out, all I need to keep pushing through each day is hope. And lately, hope has been in short supply for me. But when I meet a couple of cute girls that seem decent, it gives me hope. Which made last night just as great as scoring the two goals in the soccer game. Even though we only tied the game and even though all my teammates are bound to be let down when I don't score goals in our next game, I was hopeful that somewhere inside of me was the ability to play soccer. Last night, I was hopeful that somewhere inside of me was the ability to attract a girl.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Bad Leroy Brown or The Case of the Online Dating Blues

Still no dates. Two girls have given me their phone numbers online and I have been messaging a few others. However, most of them are living in a different state than me. For instance, one lives in Washington and one lives in NYC. Two other girls I have talked to live in Idaho and one lives in Logan.

And the ones I have been messaging aren't the ones I am super excited to date. It seems like the only ones who have paid for the service are the ones who are starting to feel a bit desperate (me?). Should I try another site?

I talked with Haircut last night and I think I might have some interest in taking her out on a date. I have met her at a couple of parties and we have talked. Another hair stylist, I think I have a type.

I guess somehow I had held out that if I ever did the online dating thing, I would be king of it. After all, my resume on those things is pretty good looking. Do these girls look at my profile and think "Attorney, yes! I could use some good vacation time. Likes movies and music? Great. Looks like he has fun all the time? A definite plus. Solid mormon? check. Served a mission? check. Likes kids? check. Plays guitar? Nice. Writes music on the guitar? Double nice. Works out? Good. Looks? Ugh, nope, forget him." I mean, the problem is that the way I see it, my looks would have to be terrible to counter all those pluses. I am not a funny looking guy. I don't have a strangely misshapen head or an off center nose. My body is fairly proportional. I have all my teeth (and then some with my wisdom teeth) and all my hair.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I got nothing

Thus far, the online dating thing hasn't exactly panned out. Other than the two very aggressive post-30 girls, I met one girl who lives in Boise and one girl who lives in Arizona. The one in Arizona was quick to inform me that she had just gotten out of a relationship and was just online to "check" things out. And the one in Boise... well, she lives in Boise.

There are two 18 year old girls in my ward that are cute and that I am friends with. My friend BFF gave me a really hard time last night about them. She was like "how can you possibly find them engaging?" I guess it offends her. Truth be told, I don't find them particularly engaging. They are just attractive girls. Also, I don't really care about age. It's just a stupid number. It doesn't say what you have experienced. It doesn't dictate your maturity. Odds are, both of those 18 year old girls will be married before me. Five years ago, my friends gave me crap for dating some 18 year old girls. Well, those girls are now 23 and married. Some of them probably have children. But because I am older than them, I should count them out? Plus, lets be honest, I am more attracted to younger looking girls. Girls my age look old. Shoot, I showed some of my buddies pictures of girls I went to high school with now and they laughed cause the girls looked like they were in their 40's. With the online dating well drying up, should I perhaps focus my efforts elsewhere? Mail order brides?

Friday, September 25, 2009

No Luck (well, sorta)

So I paid the fees, uploaded a few pictures, and wrote some embarrassingly positive "reviews" of myself. Then, I looked at tons of profiles. Ugly girls, pretty girls, short girls, tall girls, girls in state, girls out of state, younger girls, older girls, divorced girls, unmarried girls, widowed girls, girls with children, girls that want children, girls out of the country. I would say I found close to 40 girls on the site that I wouldn't mind taking on a date. Not bad but certainly not great. When you view someone's profile, it lets them know who you are. Thus, out of those 40 girls, approximately 4 have viewed my profile. I sent out about 10 messages to girls. None of those girls has sent me a message back.

However, I have received a number of flirts, profile views, and messages indicating interest from other girls. These girls are very aggressive. The other night, I logged on around 10:30 and within 2 minutes, I was chatting with two girls who requested to chat with me. I am a nice guy, so I didn't really know how to get out of it. One of them was very nice, from the Philippines. Not cute but nice. The other was a single mom of 2 or 3. She was very aggressive. Within 2 minutes of talking to her, she started hinting that I should ask for her phone number. I had no interest in dating her, I just didn't want to come across as rude. Well, she got more aggressive. She told me that I was extremely attractive. Then, she practically demanded that I get her phone number. I told her no and she kinda got upset. She told me I had hurt her feelings and then she logged off. Wow! Two days into online dating and already I am being a jerk to girls.

Overall though, unless at least one of the girls that I liked messages me back, it seems as if I wasted the $20 or so that joining the site cost me. Part of the problem is that I think most of these girls haven't paid the fee so they can't read my message.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

My First Real Venture into Online Dating

I did it. I signed up for an online dating service today and paid the fee for the first month. There sure are a lot of single mothers on there. Should I be opposed to going out with girls with children? In the past, I have generally avoided it because well... instant family. Not sure if I am ready for that. I sent a couple messages to a few girls. I received a few messages from some girls that I have zero interest in dating. Thus far, no response from any girls that I might have real interest in. If any of you want to offer specific help with online dating (such as suggestions of which pictures to post or what to write about myself), I would greatly appreciate it. Just let me know and I will show you my profile. But for now, wish me luck.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Paris holds the key

Littlebrother told me last night that he doesn't think I should ask Giselle out again. He talked to her friend and apparently she isn't really interested in me. Not exactly unexpected. Well, a little unexpected. This brings my dating pool down to exactly zero girls. Am I just dating the wrong girls? Meeting the wrong girls? Pursuing the wrong girls? Or is it me? Should I try online dating? What sites? Or should I just take a long break from dating?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I used to be love drunk but now I'm hungover

Text received last night from Catcher.

"Tripp! I meant to call you today. I have been dating a guy this summer just having fun and just last night we decided to date exclusively. Thank you though!!"

Kind of upsetting. Why do I bother?

Monday, September 14, 2009

The fair is veritable smorgasboard

Catcher texted me on Friday to say that she couldn't go out with me. She said she had been looking forward to it all week but that a family situation had just escalated. It seemed legit. She suggested we reschedule for this week. I must admit, it was a bit of a letdown. I really was looking forward to running around the fair with Catcher, laughing and playing and just having tons of fun. The plan is to go to the fair with Catcher on Wednesday. Every time something gets pushed back though, the likelihood of it happening decreases. So, I am not near as excited about this Wednesday as I was for last Friday.

On Saturday, I took Giselle out on our second date. Because Catcher canceled on the fair on Friday night, I decided to take Giselle to the fair. We struggled finding a decent parking spot and ended up parking pretty far away. Giselle harassed me quite a bit about that. It was all in good fun but Giselle definitely harasses me a lot. We kinda parked in the ghetto. Not that the state fairpark has any areas around it that are not ghetto. One of the first things we did was go and see the animals. Giselle wasn't too excited to see them. She kinda thought they smelled. It was disheartening because I had planned on going with Catcher and I thought her and I were going to be running around having lots of fun. Giselle just isn't as much fun. She just didn't have an opinion on much. I would be like "what do you want to see next?" and she would say "I don't care." It got old.

Eventually, we walked through the games section. There was a carnie with darts and balloons and some bears that seemed like they might be cool for me to win for Giselle. So, I ask the carnie how much it will cost to win that bear. He hands me a dart and kinda gives me the signal like he is going to hook me up. I asked if I needed to pay him and he said no. Strange. So, I throw the dart. He says something about 2 times 2 is four, hands me another dart. I throw it, he tells me 2 times 4 is 8. Ok, great, the guy can do math. But what does it have to do with anything? Hands me another dart and says 2 times 8 is 16. I throw it and he says "done, you won the bear. That will be $16." Wait, what? $16 for the bear? Yeah, I just got hosed by a carnie. I decided that paying him $16 for a cheap bear was a better idea than getting stabbed in the back by an angry carnie so I handed over the cash. Giselle told me that I probably shouldn't be in the games section anymore.

We went to get a deep fried snickers bar. While waiting in line, some girl walks up behind me and grabs my hip. I turned expecting to see an old friend. Instead, it was an unfamiliar face. She kinda just stood there next to me, glaring at Giselle. Didn't say anything. Stood there for at least a minute, kinda close to me, like her shoulder was touching me and then just walked away. Really weird.

The date was going fairly well so I decided to take Giselle back to my house to watch a movie. We watched Just Friends. Not a super good movie. But, we cuddled on the couch. Definitely felt more of a connection with Giselle after cuddling with her. Took her home. Decided to not try and kiss her. Overall, the date was ok. Nothing great but nothing horrible. I think I will take her out again within a week or so.

Other notes: Went to FHE tonight and met a girl, 18 which I know is way young. But very cute.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Now I know how Jimmy Buffett feels

Sorry for the long delay. I had a date last week with a new girl named Giselle. I met Giselle about a month ago through some mutual friends. We went to this chinese restaurant. It was my birthday. Somehow, during dinner, it came up that I get really grossed out by lip gloss. Pretty sure it was littlebrother who brought it up. Giselle had just put on a bunch of lip gloss. She turned to me and put her face close to mine and said "I really want to kiss you right now." Then, to make matters worse, littlebrother's date, the girl he has been pursuing for months and months, says "If you kiss Giselle, I will kiss your brother." Littlebrother looked at me with hopeful eyes. This was his chance and all he needed was for his older brother to kiss a girl...

I couldn't do it. I thought about it. I seriously considered it. But all that chinese food in my stomach? Just thinking about it made my stomach turn a little. It wouldn't be so great for me to throw up on my birthday on a first date after I kissed her! I think she felt rejected. Littlebrother was kinda mad.

We took the girls to a park and played our guitars for them. I did an improv song about Giselle that was pretty funny. Then, as littlebrother and his date were walking away, I moved in to kiss Giselle. She totally denied me! She said "Now you know how it feels to be rejected." Not one to be outdone, I went in a second time and stole a kiss from her. It was kinda awkward but I thought it was pretty funny. She definitely is showing some interest in me. Our next date is this saturday. I haven't planned anything yet.

Last Saturday I went on a date with Jasmine. I was excited. We were gonna go canoeing. The weather wasn't looking great but we took off anyway to where the canoes are stored in my hometown. Things started out bad and basically never improved. When I knocked on her door, she was on the phone. She let me in but kept talking to some guy who was in Germany. We finally got in my car to go but she was still on the phone!

She got off the phone as we entered the canyon. Jasmine had made us a picnic for lunch. On the way up, she got hungry. So, we stopped at my parents' house and ate our lunch. It was quite good. I was feeling better cause Jasmine had gone out of her way to plan our lunch. I thought maybe that was a sign of interest. The weather looked even worse so we decided to take a drive. Driving through the small town I grew up in, we passed a young (mid 20's) girl hitchhiking in the rain. We decided to pick her up. Her name was Lisa. We drove Lisa 40 miles up into the mountains. It was actually really fun having her in the car. At one point she said "You guys are a really cute couple." I thought that was cute until Jasmine responded "We aren't a couple. We might be someday." Weird. Granted, if her mom had said something like that, we would tell her. But the hitchhiker? The one we were about to drop off in the middle of the mountains to never see again?

I suggested we get out of the car and walk around a bit but Jasmine didn't want to. This was my first real chance to see what kind of person Jasmine is. Basically, she does only what she wants to do and expects things to always go her way. It was very frustrating. We were driving back down and she said she was getting tired. I suggested we go take a nap at my parents' house but she insisted that her dog had been alone for 5 hours and she needed to go take care of him. I like animals. I grew up on a farm. Dogs are not babies! It was so annoying. So, I took her home and then said that I needed to go home. I went home and watched some football. An hour or two later, I decided to give Jasmine another chance. I texted her suggesting we go have dinner or go watch a movie. She responded that she was cooking a pizza and I could come over and eat some of that and we could watch a movie. Good sign right? Wrong. I got there and we ate the pizza. Her dog was there, demanding most of her attention. Then, we went to watch a movie. However, there was nothing Jasmine wanted to watch. So, she told me I could choose between some cake baking challenge show and a home redecorating show. Basically, she was going to control whatever we watched. I didn't want to watch either show. They were lame. Plus, I wanted to cuddle with her. Instead, she cuddled with her stupid dog. I haven't talked to her since. I have thought about it but I just can't get over how badly our last date went.

Tomorrow is the big night. My first date with Catcher. I texted her the other night and she said she would love to go to the fair with me. I am hoping that there will be a serious connection. Kinda worried though because she is such a pretty girl. I am sure she has tons of options. Abercrombie and Fitch models hitting on her all the time. I am sure it will go better than my last date with Jasmine though.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

You're a rockstar

Met up with Jasmine last night. She said she had a busy week but I suggested that we take her dog and the dog she is watching for a walk together and stop and get ice cream. The walk was nice, I walked Melanie the pug and she walked her little dog Kinsey. There wasn't a whole lot of physical contact, which kinda disappointed me. I'd sorta hoped we would at least end up cuddling or watching a movie or something but it didn't happen. We got back to the place she was staying at (where the dog lives) and talked for a minute and then she said she was tired and needed to go to bed. It was 11. My guess is that she is just playing it cool cause she has been burned before. However, I don't think it is a stretch of the imagination to think that maybe it is a sign she is pushing me into the friend-zone. I have enough friends that are girls. Too many in fact. I don't need any more friends that are girls. We have a date planned for this saturday. I was thinking we could go canoeing.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Do it to me one more time

First official date with Jasmine. I was very nervous. Especially when I texted her during the day to get her address and she didn't respond for several hours. I was laying my bed thinking maybe the date wouldn't even happen. I was so nervous that I almost didn't want it to happen. I thought "I could just chill at home tonight, maybe throw in a movie, eat some popcorn, it will be chill."

I showed up to her house a few minutes late. She was sitting on the front porch. She was taller than I remembered. Very pretty. We went to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She had been there before but I think she was still impressed. She ought to be; the meal cost me $100 with tip. But it was excellent food. And the perfect atmosphere to just sit and talk. I really enjoyed having her full attention. The conversation went really well. I made her laugh, I learned a lot about her. One of my favorite things was when she adjusted her sitting position and her foot bumped my leg. Rather than move it, she just left it there. It sort of broke down the touch barrier.

After dinner, we were going to go for a walk. She was house sitting nearby so we drove to two houses so she could feed two cats at one place, and a dog at the other. She is quite motherly with animals. I am willing to admit that it freaks me out just a little. She has a dog and a cat and she calls them her babies. Kinda weird...

We drove downtown and had about 20 minutes to kill so we went for a short walk. A bluegrass band was playing. We watched for a minute and then walked to the movie theater. We were gonna go see some political movie but Jasmine saw that Paper Heart was playing and she got really excited and begged me to go see that instead. She was so excited about it, how could I say no? In truth, it was really good to see her that excited. I like it when people get really excited about things, even if they are really little things. Paper heart was a documentary about love. I loved it. Michael Cera was in it. The movie just fit perfectly with the evening. I reached over and put my hand on her leg and she immediately put her hand on my leg. I felt really close to her. We held hands and cuddled a little. Walking out of the theater, our hands instantly met. It was so great.

After the movie, we went to her place and I met her dog and cat. We took the dog for a long walk and talked. It was fun. I think I probably came across as really boring to her. It was hard to explain that I am a fun person that likes to do lots of things. I just couldn't really think of anything. We went back to her house, talked for a little bit, and then I took off. She had a picture there of her when she graduated from college. She was so gorgeous. I am not saying she isn't super pretty but in the picture, she looked like a movie star. We talked a little on the phone last night and are planning on doing something together this weekend. Thus far, things are going well.

Friday, August 28, 2009

I've got friends in all the right places

No date yesterday. And no date planned for tonight. However, I talked to Faline today online and she said there was just no chemistry between us. No chemistry? Like when we went to the fair and had a blast talking to all the people in all the booths, there was no chemistry? Or when we discovered that we both love board games? Ha ha, ok, both liking board games doesn't exactly mean we have chemistry. But still, who are these girls?

For my date tomorrow with Jasmine, I decided to eat at a nice little restaurant near downtown. The same one I ate at a few nights ago. It was just so tasty. Then I thought we would take a walk and then go see an indie movie at the broadway theater downtown. Sounds good? Who knows... But I have high hopes.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Boy on a string

Blind date last night with SD. Cute girl living in San Diego but here on vacation. The step sister of a good friend of mine from undergrad. Even though she was attractive, I wasn't attracted to her. Maybe I have more of a 'type' than I think. Could it be that I am attracted to a bit of drama? Looking back at my selection of girls, it certainly appears that way. So, if you are considering setting me up with a girl, perhaps you should consider additional factors besides attractiveness. I think I need a girl with a little drama.

We ate at a restaurant that I really like. It was excellent food. Probably just about the best food I have ever had. I am trying to think of a more tasty meal. I am not a health nut but the whole idea of this place is to use local produce and livestock so that everything is fresh. So worth the higher price of a meal. Maybe not every day, but certainly for special occasions.

After dinner, we went to my friends' house and just talked on the couch for a little while. I don't think I was emotionally unavailable, I just didn't feel any kind of spark with SD. All I could really think about was Jasmine. Yeah, I am that into her right now. I got a text during the date and I didn't look at it until the girls went to the bathroom. I was hoping it was from Jasmine. Funny that I was disappointed when it was from Ariel. Yeah, Ariel still texts me. Comparing my first kiss with Ariel to my first kiss with Jasmine, there is no comparison. Kissing Ariel did nothing for me. Kissing Jasmine made my head swirl. It gave me butterflies in my stomach.

I need to figure out what to do for my first date with Jasmine which is this Saturday. At first, I thought it would be fun to go watch some stock car races but I am second guessing that. Most of my friends would suggest to just keep it simple and relaxed. Perhaps I will take her to to ride this extreme slide.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

It's all how you spin it

On Friday night, I worked late. I got home ready to call it a night, maybe play some video games. Then littlebrother said that he and a few friends wanted to go clubbing and I should join them. I agreed and we headed downtown. On the way, we tried to decide where to go. I suggested one bar but then on the radio came that song "Meet me at the hotel." Someone said that it was clearly a sign that we should go to the Hotel, a club downtown. Littlebrother changed the station and miraculously, the same song was playing on that radio station. We drove past the Hotel, it looked empty and lame. It was as if fate was toying with us. Telling us to go to the Hotel and then changing its mind. So we drove over to place I suggested.

I don't have a lot of bar experience but I had more than the three guys with me combined. A few mormon boys standing inside a bar not drinking is certainly a strange thing. We didn't really know what to do with ourselves. The bar isn't really a dance club, it's more of a socializing type bar. So, basically everyone is drinking except for us. I am sure we stood out like a sore thumb. And none of us wanted to approach a girl and start taking, partially I am sure because it would certainly become noticeable that we weren't drinking and then the question of what we were doing at a bar on a Friday night if we weren't drinking would come up. So we walked around awkwardly. We sat at a table and Wyatt joined us. Wyatt is a 40 year old construction worker, divorced, and out on the prowl. For some reason, he decided to sit at our table and discuss his drink called the Raspberry F#$# me up. It provided some entertainment but the night was wearing on us all. We didn't belong.

Wyatt and I were trying to talk to a couple of girls at a table when I got a phone call from a Bosnian friend of mine Milo. Turns out, he was at The bar with another Bosnian and he needed to talk to me immediately. He explained to me that he had just broken up with his girlfriend and he was all sorts of upset. Drunk as a skunk. We talked for a bit and then he said his friend had some people coming to meet them at the bar. What happened next was kind of surreal.

These girls came up and started talking to Milo and his friend. They were the girls that Mio's friend knew. I felt awkward and pushed out so I was talking to another friend. But, I was very attracted to one of the girls, the one in the purple dress. So, I did the best I could. She was talking to Milo's friend, I walked up and joined the conversation. Looking back, it's painful how awkward it was. I was a bit hyper and I am a fast talker anyway, so I ended up asking the girl in the purple dress a number of questions, most of which she didn't answer. I could tell that Milo's friend was looking at me like I was an idiot and I was crashing and burning fast. The girl in the purple dress, Jasmine, was very pretty and very sassy. When it seemed as if I had crashed and burned enough that it was even painful for her and Milo's friend, I started to retreat. Miraculously, Jasmine followed me. She started asking me a bunch of questions about how she should prepare for her civil trial coming up next month. We ended up sitting and talking for well over an hour. In my mind, things were going great. We had an intelligent conversation, I made her laugh. I felt a connection.

For her part, Jasmine played the part of being interested. I found out later that her and I were merely having a conversation. That she had no idea I was interested in her because as both her and Milo's friend put it, "I don't think he has any game." When I found that out, it was upsetting. Not because I think I have game, but because I felt so transparent. It also just made me feel like an outsider. Nevertheless, our conversation continued. Then Milo told me that he and his friend and Jasmine's friend were going to Milo's friend's place for drinks and we should come. I was feeling pretty good so of course I said yes.

We drove Jasmine's BMW over to Milp's friend's place. I learned quite a bit about Jasmine at this point. First, I learned that Jasmine had been previously married, for 5 months 5 years ago. To an architect. He had been her high school boyfriend. Second, I learned that Jasmine had met Milo's friend, also an architect, when Milo's friend and Jasmine's husband had been in architecture school together. Still, I pressed on. Jasmine and I sat on the couch next to each other and I think I rubbed her back.

I found out later that it was at this moment that Jasmine suspected I had some interest in her beyond normal conversation. This part actually boosts my confidence because she said it was refreshing the way I approached it more as an individual conversation rather than a generic set of prepackaged compliments typically given out by guys to girls at a bar. So, even though I have no game, it somehow worked for me.

So, while Milo, his friend and Jasmine's friend got drunk, Jasmine and I talked on the couch and I thought we bonded. We cuddled a little. Milo left and her friend and Milo's friend went into the other room to make out or have sex or something. Jasmine and I sat on the couch. She fell asleep in my lap. It was rather tender. I was starting to really like her. Besides finding her very attractive, I saw something in her personality. I loved making her laugh and I enjoyed the way she laughed. It wasn't easy to make her laugh though. It took quite a bit of work. And she harassed me throughout the whole thing. I really enjoy being with someone who can give me crap. Of course, a couple times, it was borderline mean. But most of the time, I thought it was fun. Around 5:30, Jasmine woke up (because I moved because I was so tired and I couldn't sleep). She then decided to show a little interest in me, which was great. She crawled behind me to give me a back rub. I just felt really close to her at that point. It was kind of intimate. So I turned around and kissed her on the lips. It was a good kiss. Long and drawn out. I then kissed her on the forehead. I was trying to show her that I liked her, not that I was just some stupid boy looking for action. She laughed and said "aww, tender." Two possible interpretations. 1) She gets slightly uncomfortable in situations like that and uses humor to get through it. 2) She was making fun of me for being sweet early on like that. I may never know which it was.

We got up and left so she could drive me to her car. The gate was locked. So, in her dress, I helped Jasmine climb on top of the gate. She got stuck and I had to jump over to the other side and catch her. It made me feel like such a man. It felt really good. I got her number and went up, getting there at about quarter after 6 in the morning.

I called Jasmine last night and we talked for 4 hours on the phone. Yeah, long time. She is in South Carolina for work until Wednesday. Some of the conversation went really well, other parts were very disheartening. First off, I doubt that Jasmine is LDS. This intrigues me because I am getting quite tired of dating the same LDS girls over and over with the same results. However, it certainly makes things more complicated if our relationship continues. Second, there were times where I felt like I really wasn't what Jasmine needed. I think it is because I am so used to the normal LDS girl and her expectations of what a man should do/be. Because Jasmine has completely different expectations, it's harder to really measure myself against it.

I asked her out on a date. For this Saturday. I am kind of nervous. I like her. I have been burned so many times by so many girls; I wonder why I keep playing with fire.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Round again round again circles

I had a sort of date with Faline on Saturday. We met up at the rodeo with a bunch of other friends. I was really excited to see her. On Saturday morning, I woke up super cheerful. Littlebrother even commented on it. He said "When Tripp is happy, the whole house just feels brighter." I talked him and another roommate into running 4 miles outside. It was a gorgeous day and the run felt great. So I was feeling super ready for the rodeo. I wore my cowboy hat, cowboy boots, my belt buckle, and a cowboy shirt. And I drove my truck. I was feeling like a cowboy. The rodeo was fun but somewhere along the way, I felt Faline pull away. It was just minor, I didn't try and hold her hand or kiss her or anything, things just felt a little different.

After the rodeo, we built a bonfire for smores. At that point, I was feeling so awkward that I hardly interacted with Faline. Cowboy had come up to my truck and asked me in front of her how long it had been since I had "hooked up" with a girl. What a crappy thing to ask me. I said I didn't remember (even though it had only been 5 days). Faline then was asked a similar question and she decided it had been a week and a half. What?! Of course, mine was sooner and I shouldn't have double standards but it really threw me off. There was a nice hug at the end but I was definitely in a bad mood.

I have natural preconceptions about what dating a girl is like when she is about to go on a mission or considering one. 7 years ago I dated Mindy. She was 18 and I was in love within 10 seconds of meeting her. Then, our interaction abruptly went from fun and relaxed to her totally pulling away. She said she knew she was supposed to go on a mission and that it was pointless to have any relationships prior to that. For those of you who don't know, girls can't go on a mission until they are 21! She moved home and I found out that she got married 6 months later.

I purchased a car from a girl about 5 years ago. We immediately clicked. She was selling the car to go on a mission (no call, no papers turned in). We went out on a few dates and I thought things were going well. I certainly wasn't asking her to not go on a mission or anything. just keep dating me and see what happens. So, one night I sent her a text saying it was cold outside and offering her a ride home from school (massage therapy) because she had sold her car and now rode the train. She sent a text back saying "I am going on a mission. Back off." How do you even respond to that? It was insane.

So, I really have some bad experiences with girls and missions. And Faline has indicated that she wants to go on a mission. But she doesn't turn 21 for 8 months. A lot can happen in 8 months. That is what frustrates me. If we date some and it looks like things are not working out, then great, she should go on a mission. But if she is going to kill things now because she thinks she will go on a mission in 8 months, well, then that just sucks.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Jackson Square

Last week, I went to the Q-Tip Concert. It was the most fun I have ever had at a concert. I really just let loose and forgot about worrying. I met several girls there. The one that I was the most interested in was TheFlake. I have actually met her before, at a dance party 9 months or so ago. She is this pretty little blonde, very flirty. I immediately had a huge crush on her. Of course, so do just about all of my friends. She is 26 and single. According to my friends, she is very good at keeping boys at arm's length. I also met M. She was a little more uptight than TheFlake but still way fun. And very pretty. I haven't decided yet if I want to take her on a date. I also met M's friend J. J is much more shy and she was there with a guy she likes but still, there was something about her that I found very interesting. FarFarAway was there. FarFarAway is this girl I have hung out with a couple of times. She is very busty and I think a bit manipulative. She was hitting on me pretty heavily at the concert. She just got dumped by this guy and I think her biological clock is ticking. She is cute, but probably the furthest from what I want or am interested in.

Friday, I went to this party in Bountiful. TheFlake was there and my crush was renewed. She is so flirty with boys though. I tried to capture her attention but only got a tiny bit of it. It kinda frustrated me a little.

Faline was at the party. I met Faline a few weeks ago and she didn't seem that interested. But on Friday night, we sat and talked for most of the night and it seemed like we had a lot in common. I got her phone number. We texted until late that night. I felt like we really bonded. Then, the next morning, the girl I had a date with for that night said she couldn't go. So, I texted Faline and she responded that she would LOVE to go to the fair with me. She showed up at the house and she looked really pretty. Although Faline is probably not as pretty as Catcher or TheFlake, Faline is still a very pretty girl. The fair went really well. I would say it was one of the better dates I have been on in the last 10 years. We found out that we have tons in common. We both like to read, we like to play board games, we like to run, we like to travel, and we like to try new things (like food). I was very impressed with how intelligent Faline was. More so though, I was impressed with how she acted around me. She was just super chill and fun. It was like I didn't have to work very hard to click with her. We went shopping at Walmart after the fair and then we hung up some pictures in my house and watched a movie. I wanted to hold her hand so bad during the movie but I refrained. I just didn't want her to think I was that kind of guy. I really really wanted to kiss her at the end of the date but I also refrained. I really hope it doesn't come back to bite me in the butt.

Faline was almost engaged a year ago, even though she is just 20 now. She is quite set on going on a mission next year. That makes me a bit wary but thus far, she doesn't seem to be holding back with me. Faline already seems like very decent wife material.

Sunday was the going away party for one of my best friends, TheCaptain. He is going to law school and we planned a huge party at my house. TONS of people showed up. TheFlake was there. FarFarAway was there. Esmerelda was there. Faline was there. A girl I used to have a crush on MH was there. It was so much fun. I bounced around meeting people and talking and just playing host. I took several girls on tours of my house. One in particular was W. She said several times that she hoped I would invite her over again to the house. We became friends on Facebook so it may happen.

Monday night (last night) I got a text from Ariel saying she was done with finals and she wanted to come over and paint. She came over and we ran to Walmart to buy some painting supplies. We decided to paint a Zebra for the jungle room in my house. Ariel is actually a very decent painter. I mostly just played guitar while she worked on the zebra. The painting was not finished but we both were tired of it so we went into the house. The mood was kind of different, but Ariel and I ended up wrestling a little. While we wrestled, I kissed her. Several times. She definitely kissed me back but the kisses weren't super romantic. I am not ready to move her back as a possibility but it was really fun hanging out with her last night.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

No one

Ariel texted me last night. She wanted me to come study with her. At first, I thought to myself "why would I want to do that?" but then I thought that maybe she really does enjoy my company and maybe she really did get scared. I decided to play it off to see if I could gain any advantage from it. I told her I felt like she was just trying to get me to come over so that we could hook up. She responded with "So what if I am?" I then told her I was ok with hooking up with her as long as I didn't feel objectified. She said "Deal." I then said that I would come over to help her study as long as the odds of us making out were better than 50-50. To which she replied "OK."

Well, at that point, I had roped myself in. You can't say something like that to a girl and then decide to not go over. So I went over. She was looking extremely attractive. She had her glasses on, looking like a high school teacher or something. Fancy painted toenails. The song lyrics "I got a feeling, tonight's gonna be a good night" were echoing in my head. We studied until about 12:30 and then decided we were done. We both closed our laptops and sat on the floor of her bedroom. My opportunity had presented itself.

So what happened? Nothing! I didn't want to move over next to her and just move in for the kill. I kinda thought that maybe it was her move to make. And she just sort of stayed there. All of this happened in a matter of about 1 minute. I got up grabbed my stuff and walked out. She came out on the front porch with me and we had a long tight hug. I think she would have still kissed me then but I just walked away. Maybe I am playing games with her, maybe not. But no kissing with Ariel last night.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

It MUST be the FuManchu

Lots to discuss.

Ariel texted me last week. She wanted to study together. I am kind of a pushover. But I told her that I was going running that night but that I would study with her if she came over and went running with me. We ran about 4 miles and then studied for about an hour and a half together. I haven't heard from her since. Maybe I wore her out. Emotionally, I am done with her though.

Last Friday, I went on a date with Daisy (from Lady and the Tramp - not a Disney Princess but you try finding a Disney Princess with a 'D' name). We went to the rodeo up in Ogden. Daisy is tall, 6 feet. We actually got along really well. I think she is fairly intelligent and easy to talk to. I haven't called her yet but I think there may be some possibilities there.

On Saturday, I had a first date with Esmerelda. It was to the Demolition Derby. It is my favorite event of the whole year. I am like a kid waiting for the new Harry Potter movie or something. I got all dressed up in my demolition derby attire (cowboy boots, tight pants, wife beater, fake tattoos, old scout baseball cap). Esmerelda took it pretty well. She wasn't really dressed up at all but she put up with my garbage. My mom didn't take it as well. She sent me an email saying she was embarrassed of me. I took that news pretty hard. I mean, it was all in fun. To me, dressing up for the derby is way more important than dressing up for Halloween. I think I might have gotten a little hyper while at the derby but it's cause I love it so much.

Esmerelda and I had a nice talk on the way home, she had gotten very quiet during the derby. It might have been me being really loud. Or it might have been from me flirting a little too much with my friend's date Catcher. It's not that I didn't like Esmerelda. She is very pretty and very fun and super chill. It's just that Catcher is what I have dreamed about for years. From the moment I saw her, I couldn't take my eyes off her. I wasn't sure if Esmerelda noticed. Does that make me a sleazebag?

We were putting on fake tattoos in my parents' kitchen when Catcher first arrived. She immediately wanted to put on fake tattoos too. She found one that said Catcher and I suggested she place it on her chest. I know, kinda skeazy. Well, maybe not. I just felt like there was so much chemistry between Catcher and I and it felt natural. We joked around at the derby too, she was sitting behind me and at one point I touched her leg and she was like "oh, that feels nice" and I seriously almost went insane. Another time, she asked if I was going to kiss Esmerelda and I almost wanted to yell at her "No, I want to kiss you!" When we got back to my parents' house, she wanted to jump on the tramp so I found her a pair of shorts and we went out to the tramp. It was great. I was giddy just being around her. She also wanted to see our pigs. She talked about how she wanted her kids to raise animals to learn work habits. It was so great. I told her about Mooner and she thought that was awesome. She added me as a friend on facebook.

On Saturday, I was at the furniture store looking for a sectional when I met BFD. She was working there and we flirted. She offered to come hang out with us and gave me her card with her cell number written on the back. I am thinking I will call her today and take her on a date this week.

Other Notes: On Sunday, we had a bunch of people over to play games and there was this girl there Faline that I felt a bit of a connection to. She wasnt as friendly as some of the other girls but she was pretty cute and I may ask her out on a date.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Nice to know you.... Goodbye!

Ariel and I went to Incubus last night. I like some Incubus songs but I have never really cared that much about them. Such was the concert. I sang along to some of the songs, the ones I knew. I kinda wished they would have played the song "I miss you" cause it is my favorite of theirs but they didn't. Once we got there, we met up with Ariels' friend Jen and a couple other guys and girls. They were all drinking and living it up. Within two minutes of meeting up with them, they offered Ariel a taste of their beer and she accepted it with no hesitation. It made me really uncomfortable. I have been around plenty of people drinking, including plenty of really good friends. But it just made everything so awkward. Such was the night.

After the concert, we drove back to Ariel's car. She then decided to tell me that she didn't think she should go to the Demolition Derby with me. She said she liked me but she was just so emotionally unavailable right now and she didn't want to lead me on. It hurt. I mean, I expected it but that doesn't mean I wanted it to happen. I guess our lifestyles are just not really compatible anyway. I am struggling to build my testimony and she seems fairly content to let hers' drown.

Side notes: An ex-girlfriend called me last night to talk during the concert. She has been married for several years but I think she is struggling with it and missing me. I told her to stay with her husband. A friend of mine from a different ward a few years ago has been telling me lately that she wants to settle down with me. She is an attractive little Russian girl that is kind of a gold-digger. If I were to hook up with her, she would certainly bleed me dry. She says she will get her life straightened out and marry me in the temple, as long as it's the San Diego Temple.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Time and Time again

Studied last night with Ariel. I love helping her learn something. It makes me feel good. While driving her home, I apparently didn't properly use my signals, so I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. He asked if I had been drinking. Luckily, I hadn't (cause I don't drink!) and so he let me go with a warning that I need to use my turning signals properly.

At Ariel's house, we sat on the porch and talked. Although I think we bonded quite a bit (she said I was the coolest guy she knows), she also told me that she didn't really think she was ready to settle down. It wasn't like I asked her. It was more like we just talked about it. Kind of the DTR (Define the Relationship) that never was. It's too bad cause I like her. I gave her a kiss on the side of her forehead and then left. What else am I supposed to do? Wait around forever in the hopes that she will change her wild ways and choose life with me? Should I just walk away? My brother said the other night "I have been told of a certain sea snake which has a very unusual method of attracting its prey. It will lie at the bottom of the ocean as if wounded. Then its enemies will approach, and yet it will lie quite still. And then its enemies will take little bites of it, and yet it remains still."

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The tension and the terror

I studied last night with Ariel for the third time. The thing about study dates is that you are really toeing the friendship line. There isn't a lot of physical contact. Like, I can't very well hold her hand during studying or on the walk to the car after. I can't kiss her at the end. How would that be? "When was your first kiss?" "Well, he helped me learn the edocrine hormones and then quizzed me about the hypothalamus and then just came in and kissed me." So, even though I get to spend plenty of time with her, I feel like I am losing the battle right now.

Texts from Ariel:

"I know your fun . I promise i'm not boring either. Night."
"I'm checking on when i can hold please :-). Thank for the two texts can you send them again...? You're amazing."
"Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!"
"Can not. Thank you. So did you."
"Yes huh. I will like you more for helping me."