Awkward dates with girls from Estonia

On Friday, I had my date with Katarina. I was worried cause before the play, there was a 2 hour planned. It ended up being pretty fun (the dinner). All these swanky people and an open bar. Of course, I don't drink, but I did have a coke from the bar. I was fun and funny. With it and witty. After the dinner, we walked over to the play. It was not one of my favorite plays. I was kinda tired and kept yawning. Katarina was about as awkward as you could expect for someone from a completely different culture on a date. I think she is a good person but I am never going to be interested in her. I kinda feel bad about it.

On Saturday, I had a date with this girl Simpson. I went out on a few dates with Simpson over a year ago. I actually met Simpson at the same party as Ariel. Ariel had a boyfriend and Simpson went out on a few dates with TheCaptain. Somehow, Simpson and I ended up going on a few dates. But it wasn't meant to be. I liked Ariel at the time and one night, Simpson and I were making out. She mentioned something about how Ariel had broken up with her boyfriend that day. Somehow I decided that I wanted to date Ariel more than I wanted to date Simpson. I can't really remember any other reason for me to stop dating Simpson.

Last week, Simpson just randomly said something to me on the facebook and we set up the date. I was a little late cause I was at a soccer game for littlelittlebrother. My friend Punk invited me to go see a jazz band she manages at a local club. Simpson and I had a lot of fun just talking and listening to the band. We went back to Simpson's place and watched The Lovely Bones. It wasn't very good. We cuddled a bit. To be honest, I couldn't remember why I stopped dating Simpson last year. She was fun.

On Sunday, I received a text from Spinster. She said she wasn't interested in me. It kinda pissed me off. I guess I can't be too upset because I certainly didn't feel any interest in Katarina. Anyway, so there won't be any more dates with Spinster. Tonight I was chatting with Gamer on the facebook. Even though she is awkward and kinda nerdy, I find myself wanting to spend more time with her.

how about a little luck?

So last week I went on a cruise. Not just any cruise, mind you, I went on an LDS singles cruise. (Pause for dramatic effect) TheWriter and I went to the opera the night before I left on my cruise. Having never been to the opera, I thought it might be kind of interesting. And it was. But it was also long (over three hours), set in Spain but sung in French, and too warm in the theater. Whenever I said anything to TheWriter, this lady in front of us turned her head as if to growl at us. Meanwhile, the couple next to us (older) were getting frisky and the guy behind us was loudly open mouth chewing his gum. We went back to my house after and decided to watch a movie. Yeah, I ended up making out with TheWriter. I felt so guilty after. I think TheWriter is a really cool girl; I think her and I should be friends. But I just don't feel a romantic interest in her. So why did I make out with her? Because I could. If it sounds stupid, that's cause it is stupid. When you know you can get away with something, I guess it makes it pretty easy to do.

On Saturday, Sugarloaf and I flew out with Arches. Arches is a girl Sugarloaf has known for a few years and who agreed to be roommates with me, Sugarloaf and TheCaptain for our cruise. I immediately had a huge crush on her because she is smart, pretty and nice. After one week sharing a room with her though, my crush is gone. She is way cool but most certainly not the girl for me.

On the cruise, I met lots of girls. The first girl I clicked with was Shart. We hung out on the second night and really clicked. I was honestly worried that perhaps I wasn't going to meet any more girls on the cruise cause I would be with Shart the whole time. Well, I didn't have any reason to worry, after that first hangout, Shart avoided me the rest of the week. We said hi and talked a bit from time to time but any interest that she might have had in me was gone. It was very frustrating. At the beginning of the cruise, I was sure that I would date her when we came back. Now, I am not even comfortable asking her on a date.

By the end of the cruise, I was so ready to come home. I was convinced that there was never going to be someone for me. I have brightened up a little. Ariel was on the cruise and she said some kind words to me. Still, I am as frustrated as I have ever been about my dating life.

Updates

Hung out with BFF on Saturday. She thinks this blog has a negative undertone. My buddy Milosevic (hereinafter "Milo") came along. He thinks this blog is hilarious but that I need to stop writing in it. He is worried a girl will find it (wait, hasn't that already happened several times?) and take it the wrong way. Milo is convinced that my new dating strategy is to avoid the Four P's of dating (Planned, Paired off, Payed for, Put out) suggested by Mormon church leaders (of which Milo is not a member) and instead only hang out with girls. Are girls really that uncomfortable on dates? Do girls feel they have to make up their mind by the end of the night whether they want to have a relationship with me? Who knows.

Ariel (yeah, that Ariel) and I texted the other day. She is going on the same cruise as me next week. Belle is engaged. I saw her at church a week ago with a ring on. Good for her. I hung out with FarFarAway last night. I think she really likes me. I think she is cool but I do not want to date her, nor do I want to make out with her. My friends don't understand (probably cause they are mostly douchebags) but I am not into making out with a girl I am not into. Does this make me the anti-douche?

Boy on a string

Blind date last night with SD. Cute girl living in San Diego but here on vacation. The step sister of a good friend of mine from undergrad. Even though she was attractive, I wasn't attracted to her. Maybe I have more of a 'type' than I think. Could it be that I am attracted to a bit of drama? Looking back at my selection of girls, it certainly appears that way. So, if you are considering setting me up with a girl, perhaps you should consider additional factors besides attractiveness. I think I need a girl with a little drama.

We ate at a restaurant that I really like. It was excellent food. Probably just about the best food I have ever had. I am trying to think of a more tasty meal. I am not a health nut but the whole idea of this place is to use local produce and livestock so that everything is fresh. So worth the higher price of a meal. Maybe not every day, but certainly for special occasions.

After dinner, we went to my friends' house and just talked on the couch for a little while. I don't think I was emotionally unavailable, I just didn't feel any kind of spark with SD. All I could really think about was Jasmine. Yeah, I am that into her right now. I got a text during the date and I didn't look at it until the girls went to the bathroom. I was hoping it was from Jasmine. Funny that I was disappointed when it was from Ariel. Yeah, Ariel still texts me. Comparing my first kiss with Ariel to my first kiss with Jasmine, there is no comparison. Kissing Ariel did nothing for me. Kissing Jasmine made my head swirl. It gave me butterflies in my stomach.

I need to figure out what to do for my first date with Jasmine which is this Saturday. At first, I thought it would be fun to go watch some stock car races but I am second guessing that. Most of my friends would suggest to just keep it simple and relaxed. Perhaps I will take her to to ride this extreme slide.

Jackson Square

Last week, I went to the Q-Tip Concert. It was the most fun I have ever had at a concert. I really just let loose and forgot about worrying. I met several girls there. The one that I was the most interested in was TheFlake. I have actually met her before, at a dance party 9 months or so ago. She is this pretty little blonde, very flirty. I immediately had a huge crush on her. Of course, so do just about all of my friends. She is 26 and single. According to my friends, she is very good at keeping boys at arm's length. I also met M. She was a little more uptight than TheFlake but still way fun. And very pretty. I haven't decided yet if I want to take her on a date. I also met M's friend J. J is much more shy and she was there with a guy she likes but still, there was something about her that I found very interesting. FarFarAway was there. FarFarAway is this girl I have hung out with a couple of times. She is very busty and I think a bit manipulative. She was hitting on me pretty heavily at the concert. She just got dumped by this guy and I think her biological clock is ticking. She is cute, but probably the furthest from what I want or am interested in.

Friday, I went to this party in Bountiful. TheFlake was there and my crush was renewed. She is so flirty with boys though. I tried to capture her attention but only got a tiny bit of it. It kinda frustrated me a little.

Faline was at the party. I met Faline a few weeks ago and she didn't seem that interested. But on Friday night, we sat and talked for most of the night and it seemed like we had a lot in common. I got her phone number. We texted until late that night. I felt like we really bonded. Then, the next morning, the girl I had a date with for that night said she couldn't go. So, I texted Faline and she responded that she would LOVE to go to the fair with me. She showed up at the house and she looked really pretty. Although Faline is probably not as pretty as Catcher or TheFlake, Faline is still a very pretty girl. The fair went really well. I would say it was one of the better dates I have been on in the last 10 years. We found out that we have tons in common. We both like to read, we like to play board games, we like to run, we like to travel, and we like to try new things (like food). I was very impressed with how intelligent Faline was. More so though, I was impressed with how she acted around me. She was just super chill and fun. It was like I didn't have to work very hard to click with her. We went shopping at Walmart after the fair and then we hung up some pictures in my house and watched a movie. I wanted to hold her hand so bad during the movie but I refrained. I just didn't want her to think I was that kind of guy. I really really wanted to kiss her at the end of the date but I also refrained. I really hope it doesn't come back to bite me in the butt.

Faline was almost engaged a year ago, even though she is just 20 now. She is quite set on going on a mission next year. That makes me a bit wary but thus far, she doesn't seem to be holding back with me. Faline already seems like very decent wife material.

Sunday was the going away party for one of my best friends, TheCaptain. He is going to law school and we planned a huge party at my house. TONS of people showed up. TheFlake was there. FarFarAway was there. Esmerelda was there. Faline was there. A girl I used to have a crush on MH was there. It was so much fun. I bounced around meeting people and talking and just playing host. I took several girls on tours of my house. One in particular was W. She said several times that she hoped I would invite her over again to the house. We became friends on Facebook so it may happen.

Monday night (last night) I got a text from Ariel saying she was done with finals and she wanted to come over and paint. She came over and we ran to Walmart to buy some painting supplies. We decided to paint a Zebra for the jungle room in my house. Ariel is actually a very decent painter. I mostly just played guitar while she worked on the zebra. The painting was not finished but we both were tired of it so we went into the house. The mood was kind of different, but Ariel and I ended up wrestling a little. While we wrestled, I kissed her. Several times. She definitely kissed me back but the kisses weren't super romantic. I am not ready to move her back as a possibility but it was really fun hanging out with her last night.

No one

Ariel texted me last night. She wanted me to come study with her. At first, I thought to myself "why would I want to do that?" but then I thought that maybe she really does enjoy my company and maybe she really did get scared. I decided to play it off to see if I could gain any advantage from it. I told her I felt like she was just trying to get me to come over so that we could hook up. She responded with "So what if I am?" I then told her I was ok with hooking up with her as long as I didn't feel objectified. She said "Deal." I then said that I would come over to help her study as long as the odds of us making out were better than 50-50. To which she replied "OK."

Well, at that point, I had roped myself in. You can't say something like that to a girl and then decide to not go over. So I went over. She was looking extremely attractive. She had her glasses on, looking like a high school teacher or something. Fancy painted toenails. The song lyrics "I got a feeling, tonight's gonna be a good night" were echoing in my head. We studied until about 12:30 and then decided we were done. We both closed our laptops and sat on the floor of her bedroom. My opportunity had presented itself.

So what happened? Nothing! I didn't want to move over next to her and just move in for the kill. I kinda thought that maybe it was her move to make. And she just sort of stayed there. All of this happened in a matter of about 1 minute. I got up grabbed my stuff and walked out. She came out on the front porch with me and we had a long tight hug. I think she would have still kissed me then but I just walked away. Maybe I am playing games with her, maybe not. But no kissing with Ariel last night.

It MUST be the FuManchu

Lots to discuss.

Ariel texted me last week. She wanted to study together. I am kind of a pushover. But I told her that I was going running that night but that I would study with her if she came over and went running with me. We ran about 4 miles and then studied for about an hour and a half together. I haven't heard from her since. Maybe I wore her out. Emotionally, I am done with her though.

Last Friday, I went on a date with Daisy (from Lady and the Tramp - not a Disney Princess but you try finding a Disney Princess with a 'D' name). We went to the rodeo up in Ogden. Daisy is tall, 6 feet. We actually got along really well. I think she is fairly intelligent and easy to talk to. I haven't called her yet but I think there may be some possibilities there.

On Saturday, I had a first date with Esmerelda. It was to the Demolition Derby. It is my favorite event of the whole year. I am like a kid waiting for the new Harry Potter movie or something. I got all dressed up in my demolition derby attire (cowboy boots, tight pants, wife beater, fake tattoos, old scout baseball cap). Esmerelda took it pretty well. She wasn't really dressed up at all but she put up with my garbage. My mom didn't take it as well. She sent me an email saying she was embarrassed of me. I took that news pretty hard. I mean, it was all in fun. To me, dressing up for the derby is way more important than dressing up for Halloween. I think I might have gotten a little hyper while at the derby but it's cause I love it so much.

Esmerelda and I had a nice talk on the way home, she had gotten very quiet during the derby. It might have been me being really loud. Or it might have been from me flirting a little too much with my friend's date Catcher. It's not that I didn't like Esmerelda. She is very pretty and very fun and super chill. It's just that Catcher is what I have dreamed about for years. From the moment I saw her, I couldn't take my eyes off her. I wasn't sure if Esmerelda noticed. Does that make me a sleazebag?

We were putting on fake tattoos in my parents' kitchen when Catcher first arrived. She immediately wanted to put on fake tattoos too. She found one that said Catcher and I suggested she place it on her chest. I know, kinda skeazy. Well, maybe not. I just felt like there was so much chemistry between Catcher and I and it felt natural. We joked around at the derby too, she was sitting behind me and at one point I touched her leg and she was like "oh, that feels nice" and I seriously almost went insane. Another time, she asked if I was going to kiss Esmerelda and I almost wanted to yell at her "No, I want to kiss you!" When we got back to my parents' house, she wanted to jump on the tramp so I found her a pair of shorts and we went out to the tramp. It was great. I was giddy just being around her. She also wanted to see our pigs. She talked about how she wanted her kids to raise animals to learn work habits. It was so great. I told her about Mooner and she thought that was awesome. She added me as a friend on facebook.

On Saturday, I was at the furniture store looking for a sectional when I met BFD. She was working there and we flirted. She offered to come hang out with us and gave me her card with her cell number written on the back. I am thinking I will call her today and take her on a date this week.

Other Notes: On Sunday, we had a bunch of people over to play games and there was this girl there Faline that I felt a bit of a connection to. She wasnt as friendly as some of the other girls but she was pretty cute and I may ask her out on a date.

Nice to know you.... Goodbye!

Ariel and I went to Incubus last night. I like some Incubus songs but I have never really cared that much about them. Such was the concert. I sang along to some of the songs, the ones I knew. I kinda wished they would have played the song "I miss you" cause it is my favorite of theirs but they didn't. Once we got there, we met up with Ariels' friend Jen and a couple other guys and girls. They were all drinking and living it up. Within two minutes of meeting up with them, they offered Ariel a taste of their beer and she accepted it with no hesitation. It made me really uncomfortable. I have been around plenty of people drinking, including plenty of really good friends. But it just made everything so awkward. Such was the night.

After the concert, we drove back to Ariel's car. She then decided to tell me that she didn't think she should go to the Demolition Derby with me. She said she liked me but she was just so emotionally unavailable right now and she didn't want to lead me on. It hurt. I mean, I expected it but that doesn't mean I wanted it to happen. I guess our lifestyles are just not really compatible anyway. I am struggling to build my testimony and she seems fairly content to let hers' drown.

Side notes: An ex-girlfriend called me last night to talk during the concert. She has been married for several years but I think she is struggling with it and missing me. I told her to stay with her husband. A friend of mine from a different ward a few years ago has been telling me lately that she wants to settle down with me. She is an attractive little Russian girl that is kind of a gold-digger. If I were to hook up with her, she would certainly bleed me dry. She says she will get her life straightened out and marry me in the temple, as long as it's the San Diego Temple.

Time and Time again

Studied last night with Ariel. I love helping her learn something. It makes me feel good. While driving her home, I apparently didn't properly use my signals, so I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. He asked if I had been drinking. Luckily, I hadn't (cause I don't drink!) and so he let me go with a warning that I need to use my turning signals properly.

At Ariel's house, we sat on the porch and talked. Although I think we bonded quite a bit (she said I was the coolest guy she knows), she also told me that she didn't really think she was ready to settle down. It wasn't like I asked her. It was more like we just talked about it. Kind of the DTR (Define the Relationship) that never was. It's too bad cause I like her. I gave her a kiss on the side of her forehead and then left. What else am I supposed to do? Wait around forever in the hopes that she will change her wild ways and choose life with me? Should I just walk away? My brother said the other night "I have been told of a certain sea snake which has a very unusual method of attracting its prey. It will lie at the bottom of the ocean as if wounded. Then its enemies will approach, and yet it will lie quite still. And then its enemies will take little bites of it, and yet it remains still."

The tension and the terror

I studied last night with Ariel for the third time. The thing about study dates is that you are really toeing the friendship line. There isn't a lot of physical contact. Like, I can't very well hold her hand during studying or on the walk to the car after. I can't kiss her at the end. How would that be? "When was your first kiss?" "Well, he helped me learn the edocrine hormones and then quizzed me about the hypothalamus and then just came in and kissed me." So, even though I get to spend plenty of time with her, I feel like I am losing the battle right now.

Texts from Ariel:

"I know your fun . I promise i'm not boring either. Night."
"I'm checking on when i can hold please :-). Thank for the two texts can you send them again...? You're amazing."
"Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!"
"Can not. Thank you. So did you."
"Yes huh. I will like you more for helping me."

Chaiwalah! Well ladies and gentlemen, Jamal Malik, garma garam chai dene walah from Mumbai, lets play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

Ariel came over last night to watch Slumdog Millionaire. I hadn't rented it yet so we started to drive over to the redbox when I had a brilliant idea. Why not take my brother's motorcycle? Of course, I don't have a license and I am not a great driver but we flipped around, grabbed the bike, and headed. It was such a good idea cause it kinda broke the ice for physical touch between us. I may just buy a motorcycle simply to take girls on a short ride at the beginning of a date.

We started watching the movie, which by the way I absolutely love, and we were sitting pretty close together. Thing about Ariel, she is very playful. Like, if I elbow her or something, she will elbow me back. So we kept bumping each other, which was so great. We eneded up cuddling and holding hands. It was fantastic. At one point, we were wrestling a bit and I thought "I can make out with this girl right now" and I didn't. How's that for self control? Anyway, we seemed very comfortable together last night. She texted me this morning asking if I was going to the Incubus concert. Maybe she is more interested in me than I thought.

Himalayan

I had lunch today with Ariel. She picked me up at my office, and let me tell you, she looked gorgeous. Definitely the prettiest I have seen her. The conversation lagged a couple of times at lunch because I struggle a little with finding common ground between us. Ariel is very outdoorsy; she camps and exercises and hikes and rock climbs. I like that stuff but nobody would classify me as being inherently outdoorsy.

She came back to my office and she said she was very impressed. Definitely a plus to have her be impressed about something about me. We talked about exploring some of the buildings that you can see from my window. We also planned a date for next Tuesday to watch Slumdog Millionaire.

The biggest positive of the date came in the form of Ariel saying that she really wanted my business card, and when I made light of the fact that she could just throw it away, she said she was definitely gonna keep it. The biggest negative of the date came when I asked her what she wanted to do with nursing and she told me that she wanted to go to India and just work as a nurse. It kind of felt like a cue that her and I have different goals. You know, like that she wasn't really all that interested in living in Utah and having a family. But oh well, at least it went fairly well. I invited her to the rodeo but she said she was gonna be out of town. I was a bit disappointed.

The Game

I have been texting Ariel back and forth lately. I made a joke last night about how she had a super secret crush on me. She responded in a way that maybe it was pretend, maybe it wasnt. Anyway, so we have been texting today pretending that we are awkwardly crushing on each other. It's kinda funny. The best thing about purposefully being awkward with someone is that it doesn't actually feel awkward. I also received a text from Cinderella today. She is a bit of a strange duck. We were supposed to have lunch yesterday but she canceled at the last minute. I keep wondering if it's time to drop her. Maybe I just need a couple other solid potentials. Anyone have Taylor Swift's number? I could certainly be her prince.

Don't fear death, my Adrian

So the fourth date blew up in my face. Belle had lots of fun, we connected and talked and then, at the end, she told me she was falling for Gaston and she felt she was leading me on. I was devastated. I shouldn't have let on to her how much it hurt. I should have just let it slide off my back.

Such is life though. Maybe Belle will change her mind. Maybe I am Gaston and Gaston is really the beast. Who knows? I called both Ariel and Cinderella last night, neither answered. I think I left messages but I don't really expect responses. I am not depressed, just frustrated. My timing stinks, always has. I went to a party last night and there were basically no girls that I even wanted to talk to, let alone date. There are billions of girls on this planet, millions of single ones, and probably hundreds of thousands of single Mormon girls that I could date and yet I don't feel a connection with hardly any of them. And when I do find one whom I connect with, my pearl of great price, I sell everything I have to purchase it, only to find another buy who has already purchased it for less. He may very well discard it soon.

Forgiveness

Lots to report. My third date with Belle last week went really well. I was so nervous the day of and really just didn't want to go. But, I sucked it up, went, and had lots of fun. It's hard to be negative around Belle, she just brightens everything. I held her hand while walking back to the car and I gave her a kiss goodnight at her doorstep. It wasn't perfect but I still felt giddy.

I saw her at church on Sunday sitting next to Gaston. Gaston is the other man, the guy that has been pursuing her for awhile. He is also in my ward. He is also my hometeacher. Anyway, Gaston sat next to Belle the entire meeting and during the combined priesthood/relief society meeting about dating. I was so frustrated. But I still managed to go say hi to Belle afterward and I shook Gaston's hand. I suppose in another life, I would have no animosity towards him. But in the current situation, he is enemy number 1.

Gaston came over to home teach later that night. I was cordial but he just works me up. He wants to be a sports broadcaster which made me feel a little better. It kinda let me know that he would have a majorly hard time taking care of Belle the way she deserves to be taken care of. Of course, if Belle falls in love with Gaston, it doesn't really matter. I just hope she doesn't fall in love with him. What a crappy way to end this fairy tale. I called her later that night and we talked a bit about it. I am now convinced that I should not bring Gaston up with Belle. We talked again on Monday and I didn't mention Gaston and it went much better. We just talked and talked about fun stuff. I felt like I really clicked with her. Our fourth date is this Friday. Just something really casual.

Meanwhile, I had lunch today with Cinderella. I met Cinderella several months ago, tried to ask her out, had no success, and then ran into her at a party last week. We talked and seemed to connect and she gave me her number. We have talked on the phone since. She called me this morning and asked if I would like to go lunch. It was really fun. The conversation was very light, she is pretty easy going and happy go lucky. We grabbed some Thai food.

Cinderella is quite different from Belle. Cinderella definitely grew up in humbler circumstances (maybe I got the two characters backwards, ha ha ha) than Belle. I haven't developed feelings for Cinderella yet but she has some definite potential.

I hung out with Ariel for about an hour on Friday at the Big Ass Show. Ariel is pretty cool but right now, I dont see a lot of relationship potential. Probably because she is basically impossible to take out on a date. Girls should not be THAT busy.

Slumdog

So I rushed to get out of band practice last night to pick up Ariel. I had originally told her I would pick her up at 9 but I texted her to see if 9:30 would work and she said ok. We needed the extra band time, I did not practice the songs enough. Anyway, so while driving over to Ariel's place, she called me to ask if it would be ok if she canceled. What am I supposed to say? "No, that would not be ok. You are going to come hang out with me whether you like it or not!" So I said sure.

I don't think I was a pushover though. She had a decent excuse. She had a root canal earlier that day, her teeth hurt, she was tired, and she had to get up early the next morning. Ha ha, how many times have I heard that exact excuse? Honestly, it's ok though. Because tomorrow is my date with Belle. I can't even explain how excited I am about this one. When I got off the phone with her on Sunday, I was freaking giddy.

I am way nervous about the date though. I have been out on well over 200 first dates and I still get nervous; I think that means I like her.

Current Dating Situation

Tonight I have a date. Lets call her Ariel. I met Ariel at a party about 6 months ago. We talked and got along quite well but I didnt seal the deal. Come to find out a few days later, she had a boyfriend! But, all is well in the world, they broke up. This will be our second date and our third hang-out. I am not sure if I can even call tonight a date. She is coming over to watch Slumdog Millionaire.

Now, most people would interpret her coming over to watch a movie as an invitation to make out. I really don't intend to kiss her tonight. First off, Ariel and I click but I am not sure yet if there is magic there. Second, I have an upcoming date on Friday. Lets call her Belle.

The thing about Belle is that when we talk on the phone, I feel so comfortable around her. And yeah, she is very pretty. She says the word 'cute' a lot, and when she says it about me, well, I like it. I have only met Belle on two different occasions. Both times, she was at work. But I just feel closer to Belle than I do to Ariel.

But, back to Ariel. If I kiss Ariel tonight, then the rules of Karma say that Belle will lose interest in me on Friday. Am I just counting my chickens before they have hatched?