Wednesday, March 30, 2011


Last week, I went on what will probably be my last date with Wonder. I haven't made up my mind completely yet but it didn't feel right. It hasn't helped that my mom is so against me dating Wonder (because she feels so strongly about House) or that Milo is so against me dating Wonder (because he thinks I should get someone better looking and with a personality). We went to dinner at a little Italian place, very hole-in-the-wall-ish. But the conversation lagged several times. I have just run out of things to say to Wonder. It didn't help that I picked her up straight after work and was thus already tired. Still, with Wonder I feel as if I have to carry all conversations. Which works fine when I am hyper (which is usually the case) but not so well when I am tired. I guess part of the problem was not communicating my intent with Wonder. See, I wanted to go have dinner with her, drop her off, go home and watch an episode of Lost and get to bed early. Wonder wanted to go on a full date, which includes hand holding, dinner, some activity, cuddling somewhere, making out, lots of talking, etc. We just weren't on the same page. So when I was like "Ok, I need to go now" at 10, Wonder was offended. Do you think it means I don't like her that much if I am more excited about getting home from work, changing out of my work clothes, making a milkshake and watching tv on my comfy couches than making out with her? I do. Wonder said that every time she sees me, she isn't sure if she is going to see me again. Thing is, Wonder doesn't need me. We are so different. I haven't called her since (5 days) and I am wondering whether I will... Last week, I had a fourth date with Jewel. I met Jewel on the plane ride back from visiting MrShit (I know, weird, what is it with me and meeting girls on planes? I guess it's cause they have a couple of hours and nowhere to go to get away from me). Jewel kinda got scared while on the flight so I talked to her to keep her distracted. I also helped her get her baggage down after the flight. We walked together to the baggage carousel and then Jewel said goodbye and walked away. It was rather strange. Two minutes later, she came back to "apologize" for trash talking some of the sports teams that I care deeply about. I told her we should be friends on facebook and that maybe we could get together sometime. We met for lunch three times and at the end of the third time, Jewel asked me to go on a date with her. The date was a lot of fun. Jewel is kind of the polar opposite of Wonder. Wonder is shy and not at all quirky. Jewel is very quirky and fun but not the least bit apologetic about her quirkiness. She grew up Jewish and then converted to the Mormon church; so she takes being a Mormon very seriously. For instance, she said a prayer over her food when we met for lunch. She is just very much a molly mormon. Much to the chagrin of my mother, I am more attracted to girls with a little bit of an edge. I am not sure yet if I would kiss Jewel but we are going on our fifth date tonight. On Sunday, I drove littlebrother to the airport. After dropping him off, I saw House getting out of a car and going into the airport. I was quite surprised, but I pulled out my phone and called her. She didn't answer but her voicemail said she was going to be out of town for over a week. I left a message.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

On Sunday, I brought Wonder up to my sister's house for dinner. When my sister texted me to ask if I wanted to come to dinner, the first thing I thought was "Oh, I should bring along Wonder." It was a bit of a disaster, but not how you might think.

I haven't written much about Wonder (or any of my recent dating experiences) because of some threats I received. Hopefully that is all behind me because I long to write. But Wonder and I met online. I think we have been out between 8 and 10 times. On our first date, Wonder and I talked frankly and I found out she was a germaphobe and she found out that I use public restrooms. She was disgusted, especially at the fact that I don't put those little paper liners down on the seat.

There are some things that I really like about Wonder. She is very kind. She always smells really good. She is a hard worker and knows the value of money. She has a great relationship with her family, especially her nieces and nephews.

There are also some things that I worry about with Wonder. She is a molly mormon. She has a bit of fat potential (FP). In social situations where Wonder is a bit uncomfortable, she tends to stand back and be quiet and just watch the other people interact.

**Before you are too critical of me for saying that a girl has FP, let me just say that everyone has the potential for different things. For a girl, having FP may simply mean that her mom is overweight. Or that she has big bones. I have AP (alcoholic potential) because my grandpa was an alcoholic. Does it mean I am going to be an alcoholic? No. It just means that if left unchecked, I could be.

The biggest question with Wonder is whether our personalities really mesh or not. Lets face it, I am loud and obnoxious and sometimes vulgar. I am hyper. So when a girl tends to just sit back and take all of that in, it appears that our personalities do not match. Such was the case with Sunday. My mom (bless her heart but she drives me crazy sometimes) felt the need to write me an email after the dinner about how she felt that Wonder and I weren't right for each other and that she still thinks I need to get back with House. It didn't ruin my day but it certainly ruined my hour. Who wants to hear from someone they really care about that they think you are making a mistake? Especially when it is something as personal as dating. My mom saw neither all of the interactions between House and I nor all the interactions between Wonder and I. How can she possibly know why I make the decisions that I make?

In all fairness, Wonder and I are not a match made in heaven. There have been a couple of occasions where I said something that Wonder took as perhaps me trying to be offensive towards her family. I didn't mean it that way but it showed we weren't quite on the same page. And while I think it is great that she is such a devout Mormon, it is a bit of a conflict with my own life. It's not that I don't try and live all the church's teachings. It's just that I trip up from time to time. And someone who has never tripped up is bound to have a harder time understanding it.

The email from my mom got me thinking a lot about Wonder. And about the other girls that I date. I guess I am just spinning my wheels. I made a conscious effort and removed the stale daters that were clogging my dating pool. I try and say a prayer before every date that I go on. But, I definitely worry about what sort of match I really want. Of course it is going to take a special person to put up with the energy that I bring to the table. But also, what sort of energy do I want? The more I think about it, the more I crave having someone that is very outgoing. Not just someone that makes a great audience. It's not to say that Wonder is out (and there is no way I would let my mom have that much power over my dating life). But maybe, like U2 I "still haven't found what I'm looking for." Sometimes I am just so tired of looking though.