Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A First Date with No Conversation

On Wednesday, I received a text from House asking me to go to a reception with her.  I was very surprised to hear from her.  So I adjusted my schedule and headed to this hoity toity event with her that night.  It was kinda weird seeing her (since it had been about 15 months since I last saw her).  But we both had a ton of fun.  We laughed and joked.  I admitted something to myself that night though.  I have a ton of fun with House and I am sure we would be extremely happy if we got married.  But, I am not in love with her.  And I am not sure if I ever could be.  Love isn't something you can force.  And it isn't something I would want to force even if I could.

On Saturday, I had a date with Fob.  A year or two ago, I signed up for a free online dating site.  And then forgot about it.  So Fob found me on the site and we started messaging.  I could tell that she was using a translator (because Fob has only been in the country from Brazil for like 2 months) but I thought maybe she had a decent understanding of the English language.  I was wrong.

My first sign that things might not go well was when we talked on the phone for the first time.  It was obvious there was a huge communications gap between us.  In fact, to give me her address, she had to have her uncle come on the phone and talk to me.  Also, the fact that she is 18 should have concerned me.  Nevertheless, I showed up to pick her up on Saturday night.  Her uncle was there and he seemed like a nice enough guy.  Fob was cute but I was less attracted to her in person than in her pictures.  Then, in a strange twist, her aunt and uncle decided to come to dinner with us.  And they decided we should go to Sizzler.

Now, I haven't stepped foot into a Sizzler for quite a few years, but it isn't exactly a super nice restaurant.  For one, you have to wait in line to order.  I get to the front and Fob and I have not really communicated well what it is that she wants.  Since she basically speaks no English, I have to kind of try and order for her.  Her aunt helped a little but she was kind of a spaz.  Fun fact: did you know that you can get cashback at Sizzler to use towards your tip of the waitress?  I did not.  But now I do.

Dinner was rough.  If I asked Fob a question, she pretty much couldn't understand what I was saying.  So I was forced to talk to her aunt and uncle, which was kind of rude.  They have been to Sizzler before (Plan: order steaks and the salad bar (you thus get a major discount on the salad bar) and then change your mind to get the dinner to go (since you have filled up on the salad bar) once you are at the table).  After dinner, Fob and I decided to see a movie (she claimed she could understand movies well, but I seriously doubt it).  I considered taking her right home but felt like it would be more awkward to take her home directly after dinner than to do some kind of non-talking activity.  After the movie, I took her home. It was awkward.  No, it was worse than awkward, it was actually a little bit painful.

On Monday, I had a second date with FireCracker.  I decided to take her to my favorite Thai place.  The food was excellent and the conversation was super easy with FireCracker.  When I was younger, my dad would occasionally take one of the kids on a "date night."  We always really looked forward to this, because we got to do whatever we wanted (telling that story makes me feel like I grew up in a polygamist household, but no, I did not).  I distinctly remember my dad and I going to the airport and watching airplanes take off and land.  So I decided to take FireCracker on the same activity.  We drove around quite a bit before we ended up on a deserted road in the back of the airport between the runways.  It was perfect (assuming it was legal, which I can't be sure of).  We sat on the back of my car and just talked while planes took off and landed.  (Note: this activity would not have gone well with Fob).  FireCracker and I have a lot in common.  We are able to just sit and talk for long periods.  It helps that she razzes me every once in awhile.  It kept things interesting.  At some time during the date, I even thought about kissing her.  But ultimately decided against it.  Nevertheless, I had a lot of fun on my date with FireCracker.

I decided to finally message Mya (since Smash was never going to give me her number).  I was so nervous.  Surprisingly, Mya emailed me back last night.  It was funny and nice and exactly what I needed to boost my confidence a little.  She gave me her number. For whatever reason, I am so drawn to Mya.  So hopefully there is a first date in the future for that.

First date with Fob rating: 3
Possibility of a second date with Fob: Very Low

Second date with FireCracker rating: 8
Possibility of a third date with FireCracker: Very High

Monday, April 16, 2012

Multiple dates and a new crush

On Thursday, I had a blind date with FireCracker. I was actually set up with FireCracker by Dee. When we talked on the phone, I could tell that FireCracker and I would at the very least get along very well. Her personality reminded me of BFF. Since I had never seen a picture of FireCracker, I was definitely a bit nervous. So when I knocked on the door, my first thought was "great, she has a cute roommate that answered the door." As it turned out, that cute roommate ended up being FireCracker. Due to our phone conversations, I brought a list of awkward conversation topics. After ordering (per my suggestion, she ordered the octopus!), we got right into the awkward conversations. I loved it. The conversation was easy and never forced.

After dinner, we went back to my house to watch my skydiving video. FireCracker was mostly impressed with my house (although she did mock me for having an entire room full of African safari stuff).

My biggest concern with FireCracker was that even though I thought she was cute, I wasn't sure if she was cute enough. Like that I would enjoy spending time with her but I wasn't enamored by her looks. Personality wise, we just clicked.

On Friday, I had a third date with Basketball. We went to the baseball game. It was fun but I spent a good portion of the night wondering if Basketball and I are at all on the same page. We had some very interesting conversations and I know that she had fun (as did I) but the romance is not kicking in at all.

On Saturday, Milo and I met up with Smash and some of her friends to go to the casino. We took the bus there. One of Smash's friends immediately caught my eye; her name was Mya. Early on, Mya mentioned that she had a child. But Smash told me that Mya was sorta divorced (but not really, for insurance purposes). A little later in the evening, as Mya and I were sitting next to each other playing Blackjack and talking, I thought that she seemed really cool. Within an hour of that, I had developed a huge crush on her. It's hard to explain why. After all, Mya is not really what I traditionally want in my life. She has some tattoos. She isn't Mormon. She has a husband...

But on Sunday, she was all I thought about. And even though she hadn't given me the slightest indication that she would ever be interested in dating me (in fact, she told Smash that Smash and I should get married), I felt what I hadn't really felt in a long time: Hope. I have talked before about the X factor that I want to feel for a girl. And how I struggle finding that. And looking at Mya, I realized that part of me must be rebelling against what everyone tells me would be good for me. In college, I just sort of fell into my major. And then I just sorta fell into law school. In fact, I just sorta fell into my current job. So, there is a part of me that really feels like I haven't been making enough decisions about my own life. And so even though Mya is probably totally wrong for me (although all I have been thinking is about how right for me she seems), I want this decision to be my decision and no one else's. Hence my frustration with dating. In general, I keep going out with the same type of LDS girls that meet the minimum requirements but that aren't my first pick. So for now, I have a hope that I could spend more time with Mya. Without worrying about marriage and children and family and religion, I just want to spend more time with her.

First date with FireCracker rating: 7
Possibility of a second date with FireCracker: High

Third date with Basketball rating: 5
Possibility of a fourth date with Basketball: Medium to Low