It's all how you spin it

On Friday night, I worked late. I got home ready to call it a night, maybe play some video games. Then littlebrother said that he and a few friends wanted to go clubbing and I should join them. I agreed and we headed downtown. On the way, we tried to decide where to go. I suggested one bar but then on the radio came that song "Meet me at the hotel." Someone said that it was clearly a sign that we should go to the Hotel, a club downtown. Littlebrother changed the station and miraculously, the same song was playing on that radio station. We drove past the Hotel, it looked empty and lame. It was as if fate was toying with us. Telling us to go to the Hotel and then changing its mind. So we drove over to place I suggested.

I don't have a lot of bar experience but I had more than the three guys with me combined. A few mormon boys standing inside a bar not drinking is certainly a strange thing. We didn't really know what to do with ourselves. The bar isn't really a dance club, it's more of a socializing type bar. So, basically everyone is drinking except for us. I am sure we stood out like a sore thumb. And none of us wanted to approach a girl and start taking, partially I am sure because it would certainly become noticeable that we weren't drinking and then the question of what we were doing at a bar on a Friday night if we weren't drinking would come up. So we walked around awkwardly. We sat at a table and Wyatt joined us. Wyatt is a 40 year old construction worker, divorced, and out on the prowl. For some reason, he decided to sit at our table and discuss his drink called the Raspberry F#$# me up. It provided some entertainment but the night was wearing on us all. We didn't belong.

Wyatt and I were trying to talk to a couple of girls at a table when I got a phone call from a Bosnian friend of mine Milo. Turns out, he was at The bar with another Bosnian and he needed to talk to me immediately. He explained to me that he had just broken up with his girlfriend and he was all sorts of upset. Drunk as a skunk. We talked for a bit and then he said his friend had some people coming to meet them at the bar. What happened next was kind of surreal.

These girls came up and started talking to Milo and his friend. They were the girls that Mio's friend knew. I felt awkward and pushed out so I was talking to another friend. But, I was very attracted to one of the girls, the one in the purple dress. So, I did the best I could. She was talking to Milo's friend, I walked up and joined the conversation. Looking back, it's painful how awkward it was. I was a bit hyper and I am a fast talker anyway, so I ended up asking the girl in the purple dress a number of questions, most of which she didn't answer. I could tell that Milo's friend was looking at me like I was an idiot and I was crashing and burning fast. The girl in the purple dress, Jasmine, was very pretty and very sassy. When it seemed as if I had crashed and burned enough that it was even painful for her and Milo's friend, I started to retreat. Miraculously, Jasmine followed me. She started asking me a bunch of questions about how she should prepare for her civil trial coming up next month. We ended up sitting and talking for well over an hour. In my mind, things were going great. We had an intelligent conversation, I made her laugh. I felt a connection.

For her part, Jasmine played the part of being interested. I found out later that her and I were merely having a conversation. That she had no idea I was interested in her because as both her and Milo's friend put it, "I don't think he has any game." When I found that out, it was upsetting. Not because I think I have game, but because I felt so transparent. It also just made me feel like an outsider. Nevertheless, our conversation continued. Then Milo told me that he and his friend and Jasmine's friend were going to Milo's friend's place for drinks and we should come. I was feeling pretty good so of course I said yes.

We drove Jasmine's BMW over to Milp's friend's place. I learned quite a bit about Jasmine at this point. First, I learned that Jasmine had been previously married, for 5 months 5 years ago. To an architect. He had been her high school boyfriend. Second, I learned that Jasmine had met Milo's friend, also an architect, when Milo's friend and Jasmine's husband had been in architecture school together. Still, I pressed on. Jasmine and I sat on the couch next to each other and I think I rubbed her back.

I found out later that it was at this moment that Jasmine suspected I had some interest in her beyond normal conversation. This part actually boosts my confidence because she said it was refreshing the way I approached it more as an individual conversation rather than a generic set of prepackaged compliments typically given out by guys to girls at a bar. So, even though I have no game, it somehow worked for me.

So, while Milo, his friend and Jasmine's friend got drunk, Jasmine and I talked on the couch and I thought we bonded. We cuddled a little. Milo left and her friend and Milo's friend went into the other room to make out or have sex or something. Jasmine and I sat on the couch. She fell asleep in my lap. It was rather tender. I was starting to really like her. Besides finding her very attractive, I saw something in her personality. I loved making her laugh and I enjoyed the way she laughed. It wasn't easy to make her laugh though. It took quite a bit of work. And she harassed me throughout the whole thing. I really enjoy being with someone who can give me crap. Of course, a couple times, it was borderline mean. But most of the time, I thought it was fun. Around 5:30, Jasmine woke up (because I moved because I was so tired and I couldn't sleep). She then decided to show a little interest in me, which was great. She crawled behind me to give me a back rub. I just felt really close to her at that point. It was kind of intimate. So I turned around and kissed her on the lips. It was a good kiss. Long and drawn out. I then kissed her on the forehead. I was trying to show her that I liked her, not that I was just some stupid boy looking for action. She laughed and said "aww, tender." Two possible interpretations. 1) She gets slightly uncomfortable in situations like that and uses humor to get through it. 2) She was making fun of me for being sweet early on like that. I may never know which it was.

We got up and left so she could drive me to her car. The gate was locked. So, in her dress, I helped Jasmine climb on top of the gate. She got stuck and I had to jump over to the other side and catch her. It made me feel like such a man. It felt really good. I got her number and went up, getting there at about quarter after 6 in the morning.

I called Jasmine last night and we talked for 4 hours on the phone. Yeah, long time. She is in South Carolina for work until Wednesday. Some of the conversation went really well, other parts were very disheartening. First off, I doubt that Jasmine is LDS. This intrigues me because I am getting quite tired of dating the same LDS girls over and over with the same results. However, it certainly makes things more complicated if our relationship continues. Second, there were times where I felt like I really wasn't what Jasmine needed. I think it is because I am so used to the normal LDS girl and her expectations of what a man should do/be. Because Jasmine has completely different expectations, it's harder to really measure myself against it.

I asked her out on a date. For this Saturday. I am kind of nervous. I like her. I have been burned so many times by so many girls; I wonder why I keep playing with fire.