Don't fear death, my Adrian

So the fourth date blew up in my face. Belle had lots of fun, we connected and talked and then, at the end, she told me she was falling for Gaston and she felt she was leading me on. I was devastated. I shouldn't have let on to her how much it hurt. I should have just let it slide off my back.

Such is life though. Maybe Belle will change her mind. Maybe I am Gaston and Gaston is really the beast. Who knows? I called both Ariel and Cinderella last night, neither answered. I think I left messages but I don't really expect responses. I am not depressed, just frustrated. My timing stinks, always has. I went to a party last night and there were basically no girls that I even wanted to talk to, let alone date. There are billions of girls on this planet, millions of single ones, and probably hundreds of thousands of single Mormon girls that I could date and yet I don't feel a connection with hardly any of them. And when I do find one whom I connect with, my pearl of great price, I sell everything I have to purchase it, only to find another buy who has already purchased it for less. He may very well discard it soon.

Forgiveness

Lots to report. My third date with Belle last week went really well. I was so nervous the day of and really just didn't want to go. But, I sucked it up, went, and had lots of fun. It's hard to be negative around Belle, she just brightens everything. I held her hand while walking back to the car and I gave her a kiss goodnight at her doorstep. It wasn't perfect but I still felt giddy.

I saw her at church on Sunday sitting next to Gaston. Gaston is the other man, the guy that has been pursuing her for awhile. He is also in my ward. He is also my hometeacher. Anyway, Gaston sat next to Belle the entire meeting and during the combined priesthood/relief society meeting about dating. I was so frustrated. But I still managed to go say hi to Belle afterward and I shook Gaston's hand. I suppose in another life, I would have no animosity towards him. But in the current situation, he is enemy number 1.

Gaston came over to home teach later that night. I was cordial but he just works me up. He wants to be a sports broadcaster which made me feel a little better. It kinda let me know that he would have a majorly hard time taking care of Belle the way she deserves to be taken care of. Of course, if Belle falls in love with Gaston, it doesn't really matter. I just hope she doesn't fall in love with him. What a crappy way to end this fairy tale. I called her later that night and we talked a bit about it. I am now convinced that I should not bring Gaston up with Belle. We talked again on Monday and I didn't mention Gaston and it went much better. We just talked and talked about fun stuff. I felt like I really clicked with her. Our fourth date is this Friday. Just something really casual.

Meanwhile, I had lunch today with Cinderella. I met Cinderella several months ago, tried to ask her out, had no success, and then ran into her at a party last week. We talked and seemed to connect and she gave me her number. We have talked on the phone since. She called me this morning and asked if I would like to go lunch. It was really fun. The conversation was very light, she is pretty easy going and happy go lucky. We grabbed some Thai food.

Cinderella is quite different from Belle. Cinderella definitely grew up in humbler circumstances (maybe I got the two characters backwards, ha ha ha) than Belle. I haven't developed feelings for Cinderella yet but she has some definite potential.

I hung out with Ariel for about an hour on Friday at the Big Ass Show. Ariel is pretty cool but right now, I dont see a lot of relationship potential. Probably because she is basically impossible to take out on a date. Girls should not be THAT busy.