Thursday, February 11, 2010

Bean there, done that

The date with Bean last night was fun. Bean is a way cool girl. She even put on lip gloss and I didn't mind too much (but I certainly didn't kiss her!). I took her back to her car after the game and that was it. I think there is a fairly high likelihood of another date with Bean. However, I don't really see Bean as marriage potential for me.

I received a text from Charlie today. I think her and I will go on a second date even though I don't feel tons of romance right now. My family and friends have really been encouraging me to pursue for a little longer to see if there is chemistry. I guess they think that I don't know what chemistry feels like. I disagree. At what point do people decide that falling in love is secondary to marrying someone that they can have a successful relationship with? To be honest, I think that lots of people marry someone that they aren't in love with. This is why they cheat, why they treat each other poorly and why they get divorced. I am more scared of marrying someone I am not in love with than living the rest of my life single. But will that change? At some point, the prospect of sex and companionship must outweigh the loneliness and despair enough for me to "settle" with someone I don't love. How do I avoid that?


  1. I don't think that you don't know what chemistry feels like, but I do think that you are impatient waiting for it to appear. Isn't it possible that chemistry isn't always immediate? I think that sometimes chemistry might take a bit more time to come forward. It is almost impossible for everyone to be their complete self after only one or two dates. It takes time and I think that you need to give a girl that before you rule them out.
    A relationship expert on the Today show said that you shouldn't have to settle to find Mrs. Right, but you do need to mature and have reasonable expectations. You need to find your perfect partner not your perfect person. I truly believe there is a difference!

  2. ha ha. I always reapply my lipgloss.... it's a nervous tick that makes me feel better. It's a way that I feel more self confident and pretty... lame... I know.

  3. THECAPTN Agrees with Kensey completely and feels that she has hit is on point. Chemistry is not created instantaneously in most circumstances it is a product of repetition. (Stockton to Malone is a product of time and practice in a basketball analogy) In my recent experience with my girl, I was attracted to her but I did not "fall in love" or have instant chemistry, or have instant feelings of caring until after 6 dates and they grew stronger when I was away from her for 7 days.

    It is not about INSTANT CHEMISTRY or LOVE - that only exists in an extreme minority of cases.... I blame hollywood for this misconception.
    - TO be blunt those feelings are called "Lust". Romantic Love is developed over time not on two or three dates. Girls do not just fall head over heals in two dates- they can, it happens but it happens rarely.... stats are not in the favor of that happening. Realize that LOVE is a process and you have to respect the process. Not instantly fall in love. I learned this in my preparation for eternal marriage class at USU. This is a "learn to date class", there is another marriage class taught at the institute for actual married couples. I would not recommend that class but the preparation for marriage class gave me many insights into the process. Tripp I love you man and you are one of my closest friends, you are super generous, loving, caring, out going, funny, and have many qualities that a woman would love. I think you need to let things grow instead of expect instant love and her falling for you in 2 encounters. One of them was when you got her number at a party and the other is a first date. My two cents and again this in no way is to upset, hurt, harm or create any contention between the CPT and Tripp

  4. Don't ever settle. The temptation to treat your spouse poorly, cheat, and get divorced will most certainly come at moments--even when you marry someone that you are madly and passionately and desperately in love with.

    But I do agree with the above comments.

  5. Ummmm... you're the male version of me.

  6. Bean? thats my little sister's nickname...