Tonight I have my first real date with a single mom. It's a blind date. I have no idea what she looks like so I am struggling with a nickname for her. How about Charlie (as in Ray Charles, cause he was blind! ha ha ha... ok I thought it was funny). Steve-O is setting me up with Charlie even though he has never met her. Apparently she is in the same ward as the older sister of one of Steve-O's good friends that met me once. Well, a few years ago I went on a sort-of date with my good friend Rockabilly and she had two kids then (she still has two kids, I believe). Actually, Rockabilly and I have been on quite a few sort-of dates. We have gone to several concerts together, eaten out many a time, and fussed about our love lives. I keep trying to encourage her to read this blog but having two children, a job, and a boyfriend (sort-of) that is just starting his own law firm doesn't leave much time for reading blogs...
Anyway, so I am a bit nervous. What questions can I ask? What questions can I not ask? I mean, is it ok for me to ask why she got divorced? Her kid's name? How long she has been divorced? Where the father is in the whole scheme of things? Also, I don't know what sort of activity to plan with a single mom? I know Charlie really enjoys bowling but I think she might be tons better at it than me and I know she goes bowling a lot so it might not be all that fun for her. To be honest, I would like to just have dinner with her and if it seems like it is going well, maybe go see a movie. There are a bunch of movies in theaters that I haven't seen yet and I never have anyone to go see them with me.
The problem is, there is a lot of pressure on a guy to come up with something creative for dates. Especially first dates. With a girlfriend, it's way easy to settle on a movie. With a first date, I am expected to plan something that is new, interesting, fun, doable by most people, not overly expensive, original, and memorable. Otherwise, she will immediately associate me with the words boring, lame, unoriginal, unfun (probably not a world, but maybe in Newspeak from 1984 it would be), and just not date worthy. Besides all that, I may not even be attracted to her. I know zero about her other than the fact that someone else knocked her up (so she was desirable at one time to at least one person...). I don't know what color her hair is, what her body style is like, if she has straight teeth, etc. I would hate to waste too much creativity on a girl that I am not going to take out again.
Side notes: I called Spinster two nights ago and left a message telling her to call me back. I haven't received anything back. Because of a few incidents from the past, I am really hestitant to try much harder to call her. How often can I try and call a girl? According to GetErDone, she wants to go out with me. But why wouldn't she return my phone call after two days? I mean, it only takes like 1 second to send a text saying "hey, got your call, super busy, call next week?"
Beneficial Use Of Casters
5 years ago
I love your blog - like seriously - I do!!! Yes you can totally ask about the divorce on the first date - I'm divorced and people ask me about it on the first date all of the time.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure about the whole - what role does the dad have type questions though ...
With that said - I don't usually ask about divorces on the first date because I feel like the first date should be more about how two people interact rather than how many checks are ticked on each others' lists.
Dear Daisy:
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments on my blog! I hope you continue to read, as I am certainly going to continue reading your blog. I can't wait to hear what else happened with wenchface.