Wonderjewel

Last week, I went on what will probably be my last date with Wonder. I haven't made up my mind completely yet but it didn't feel right. It hasn't helped that my mom is so against me dating Wonder (because she feels so strongly about House) or that Milo is so against me dating Wonder (because he thinks I should get someone better looking and with a personality). We went to dinner at a little Italian place, very hole-in-the-wall-ish. But the conversation lagged several times. I have just run out of things to say to Wonder. It didn't help that I picked her up straight after work and was thus already tired. Still, with Wonder I feel as if I have to carry all conversations. Which works fine when I am hyper (which is usually the case) but not so well when I am tired. I guess part of the problem was not communicating my intent with Wonder. See, I wanted to go have dinner with her, drop her off, go home and watch an episode of Lost and get to bed early. Wonder wanted to go on a full date, which includes hand holding, dinner, some activity, cuddling somewhere, making out, lots of talking, etc. We just weren't on the same page. So when I was like "Ok, I need to go now" at 10, Wonder was offended. Do you think it means I don't like her that much if I am more excited about getting home from work, changing out of my work clothes, making a milkshake and watching tv on my comfy couches than making out with her? I do. Wonder said that every time she sees me, she isn't sure if she is going to see me again. Thing is, Wonder doesn't need me. We are so different. I haven't called her since (5 days) and I am wondering whether I will... Last week, I had a fourth date with Jewel. I met Jewel on the plane ride back from visiting MrShit (I know, weird, what is it with me and meeting girls on planes? I guess it's cause they have a couple of hours and nowhere to go to get away from me). Jewel kinda got scared while on the flight so I talked to her to keep her distracted. I also helped her get her baggage down after the flight. We walked together to the baggage carousel and then Jewel said goodbye and walked away. It was rather strange. Two minutes later, she came back to "apologize" for trash talking some of the sports teams that I care deeply about. I told her we should be friends on facebook and that maybe we could get together sometime. We met for lunch three times and at the end of the third time, Jewel asked me to go on a date with her. The date was a lot of fun. Jewel is kind of the polar opposite of Wonder. Wonder is shy and not at all quirky. Jewel is very quirky and fun but not the least bit apologetic about her quirkiness. She grew up Jewish and then converted to the Mormon church; so she takes being a Mormon very seriously. For instance, she said a prayer over her food when we met for lunch. She is just very much a molly mormon. Much to the chagrin of my mother, I am more attracted to girls with a little bit of an edge. I am not sure yet if I would kiss Jewel but we are going on our fifth date tonight. On Sunday, I drove littlebrother to the airport. After dropping him off, I saw House getting out of a car and going into the airport. I was quite surprised, but I pulled out my phone and called her. She didn't answer but her voicemail said she was going to be out of town for over a week. I left a message.

Adventures in Dating Wonderland

Last weekend, on Friday House and I went to a basketball game with BFF and the guy that BFF is currently dating. House is just so comfortable around everyone. It's amazing how I have never noticed how uncomfortable most of the girls that I date are. Or maybe it's just that House is particularly good with people. After the game, we stopped at Wendy's so I could get something to eat. Then we watched Christmas Vacation. Hands down the best Christmas movie ever made. We cuddled and kissed and it was a great evening. I have definitely started liking House more recently. Is it enough? Well, I just don't know yet.

On Saturday, RunsWithScissors and I went on a sort of double date with Dee and Dum. I drank a large coke before the date (Caffeine makes me act a little like I am on cocaine I think) and on the date, I was uber hyper. I had the hardest time sitting still. But it was fun. On Monday, Dee and Dum decorated a tree in front of my house and placed a sign saying "From Santa" on it. It was actually pretty good looking. Sort of like the Christmas tree from the Charlie Brown Christmas Special.

On Tuesday, I had a date planned with FarFarAway. I kinda decided recently to maybe try and go out with her a few more times to see if there is anything there. I called her the day of the date and received no response. Around 9 that night, she texted me to say she had called in sick to work and had been sleeping. She really wanted to reschedule but I was/am hesitant.

Simpson has started texting me again. She wants to hang out. I told her if she made me cookies, I would forgive her for just disappearing 5 months ago. Since I always felt lukewarm about Simpson, I will not be too disappointed if she drops back into another coma at any time. I think it is her flakiness that drives me the most crazy.

On Tuesday night I called TAB to ask her to this Christmas party. We played phone tag a bit and in the meantime, MrShit sent me an email wanting to know if I wanted to talk on the phone with her in Hong Kong one last time before she took off on a trip to Cambodia and Thailand. I told her a specific time to call me and a few minutes before, TAB called me. TAB and I absolutely click, at least on the phone. I really enjoyed talking to her. Problem was that MrShit was calling me from a foreign country and didn't have much time to talk before she was leaving the country. So I think TAB was a bit disappointed that I cut our conversation short. She couldn't go to the Christmas thing with me and I was a bit disappointed but MrShit already called once during my phone call and I couldn't very well explain to TAB that I was waiting on a phone call from a girl in Hong Kong. So I told TAB that I had to go do my laundry. Afterwards, I felt like such a dork for giving such a flimsy excuse. Then I talked on the phone with MrShit. It is always fun to talk with her.

On Wednesday, I had a date with Lebron. I was really excited for this date. Lebron is so smart and I just smile when I look at her. I think she is very cute (although she could probably use a breast reduction). I decided to take her some place a little nicer. I called and made reservations and we wandered through some stores while waiting. One of the problems with Lebron is that she seems so innocent and I worry that I am not quite myself around her. One of the stores we were in had all sorts of kooky stuff and I was trying to make jokes about buying some of them and she just kinda shrugged it off as if they were inappropriate. After dinner, we watched some episodes of The Office at my house. At one point, there was a sexual reference in the show and I made a comment about it and Lebron kinda laughed at me but wouldn't really respond to my comment. We didn't cuddle but there were a couple of times where I felt like we were really clicking. Because TAB couldn't go out with me on Friday, I asked Lebron if she would like to go do something with me. She said yes. At the end of the night, as I went in for the hug, I noticed a subtle way that Lebron approached the hug that suggested she might be open to me kissing her. I didn't but I felt like maybe I had the option.

TAB texted me before my date with Lebron and said she was making Thai food and that I should come over and try it. I told her that I already had plans but that I would really like to do something with her next week. I am not sure if she was disappointed or not. But it was a good sign.

On Thursday night, House was going to come watch my soccer game and then we were going to grab a bite to eat and sit in her hottub. She texted me midday to say that she had to cancel because of unexpected chaos from a friend visiting from Australia. I totally understood. It was probably good anyway, since I lost my temper at the soccer game. This Bosnian guy on the other team picked up the ball after it went out of bounds when he shouldn't and I yelled at him and he started really yelling back. I totally would have fought him right then and there. Milo came and intervened. We ended up losing the game and I left in a rush because I was so mad (on a side note, a guy kicked the ball pretty hard into my junk TWICE during the game - the second one laid me down on the floor).

Style Points

I haven't made any huge life decisions about cars or dogs yet. I have been thinking about cars a lot lately today and odds are I am going to keep the same car that I have. When I bought it, I thought that girls were going to go crazy over it (or at the very least, give me style points for it) but I was wrong. It's really just a way to get from point A to point B.

As for the dog, Milo kept reminding me of how large the feces would be for a large dog. He thinks I should get a much smaller dog. Then again, he doesn't think I should get a dog at all. I work a lot and I mostly worry about a dog having social issues because no one is around the house. Even with the four of us living there, the house is unoccupied more than 50% of the time. I certainly don't want to become like my grandparents (they each base their entire schedule around their dumb dogs - it's an excuse to leave early for everything "Gotta go take care of the dog." I wanna just scream "It's only a stupid dog, it's not as important as this event." But I don't.).

Last week at church, I met two new girls Tweedledee (Dee) and Tweedledum (Dum). They are these two besties forever crazy girls. We went bowling on Friday night. I made a bet with Dee that the loser of bowling had to run naked around the outside of my house later that night. She lost. We decided to blow up pumpkins at my house using dry ice bombs. So I ran by the store and bought some dry ice. It was a disaster. 1 in the morning in my residential neighborhood and we are outside trying to blow up pumpkins. Only on the third attempt did we have any success (a loud boom much like the shot from a gun - the pumpkin still didn't blow up). We ran back inside and I started realizing how dumb the whole thing was. If the cops showed up, I would be the one to take the blame because a) I own the home, b) I won't lie to the cops and c) I instigated the whole thing. KJo and my new friend Rogen were there too. They saw my vulnerability and started pretending like the cops were outside snooping around. I was so nervous. Of course it was all just a joke (thankfully) but I had nightmares that night about it.

The next day, Milo and Dee and Dum and I went to the soccer game. It was kind of a date but it was obvious early on that Milo did not approve of Dee or Dum. A direct quote from Milo "These girls aren't cute enough for you." He acted sick and I ended up with the two girls watching a movie. They both seem interested in me, but in a weird kind of way. It's just asking for trouble to hang out with these two girls. For instance, on Monday I texted Dum a few times and then she told Dee that I had been texting her (and not Dum) all day and so Dum was pissed at me. Instant drama, just add water. I had a bit of interest in Dum up until that point. Now I have zero interest in dating either of them.

The online dating thing has produced a few prospects. There was one girl that I had even set up a date with. She had one picture that was very cute. Then she posted about 5 more pictures and she wasn't as cute in any of them. Now I kind of feel a bit committed. I have to keep reminding myself that dating is not charity. Nobody is entitled to a chance. Still, I feel really bad canceling on her now. Overall, online dating has been less effective.

I still talk to MrShit regularly. She is coming back to the USA in January. I still talk to House all the time too. We went on a date last week. There just isn't much to report there.

A month off from blogging

Well, I took a month off. In the past month, I have gone on zero dates (other than dates with House). I spent a week of vacation with my family. I talked to MrShit on the phone in Hong Kong. And guess what? Life just kept going.

I decided to take a break from blogging after my mom read my blog about my trip to New Orleans and she was less than pleased with my behavior. I guess making out with a drunk girl is not something you should tell your parents about. Ever. Or at least if you are a single mormon male.

Milo has moved into my house. I am excited about it cause I think I need to get back into dating. Milo thinks we should join an online dating site (separately). I have been trying to evaluate my dating habits and I have come to a shocking conclusion. Maybe you will disagree but I wonder if all my dates just find me horribly boring. If you have met me, you probably don't think I am particularly boring. But, when I am on a date with a girl, especially a girl that I am interested in, I think I may be reverting to my old boring ways (i.e., the boring person that I was in high school). For instance, telling a girl that I am a patent attorney makes me think that I come across as responsible and hard working. But in reality, I think I come across as stuffy and boring. Milo's solution to this problem: change the game. He thinks that if I go on dates with a more playful attitude, it will help the girls see that I am a fun guy. So, his suggestion is for me to downplay all of my accomplishments. Instead of saying I am an attorney, he thinks I should say I am a garbage truck driver or something to that effect. Then, if the girl likes me, she will be pleasently surprised to find out that I don't actually collect garbage for a living. I am a bit worried that she might find out and think I am a liar but it seems like it's worth a try. After all, I am never going to lie to build myself up, only down. So any lies that I am caught in are like a pleasant surprise. That way, maybe I can come across as interesting and fun to girls. Think this is a bad idea?

The Situation

MrShit and I have talked on the phone a few times and messaged a number of times. She flew to Hong Kong early this morning for her study abroad. Meeting and hanging out with MrShit has reminded me that it is possible for me to meet someone and fall in love. It also reminded me that I will know it when it happens. Maybe for some people love is just being there. Just showing up. But it isn't that way for me. I require more than that. I require a legitimate emotional connection. I have had it happen enough times to recognize it's presence or lack thereof. Every time it happens, I question whether it will happen again. It may never happen again but as many readers have suggested, it is nonsensical for me to marry someone that I don't feel that spark with.

I am not saying things would or even could work out with MrShit. Right now she lives thousands upon thousands of miles away. We have different goals in life. Maybe something will come from it over time. Maybe not. But I am saying that I would rather spend my life lonely than compromise and marry someone without that spark. It would end in divorce. And if I think I am broken and lonely now, I can't imagine how it will feel to go through a divorce.

House came over on Wednesday night and we watched more Band of Brothers. We get along well. I don't know if she is frustrated that the relationship doesn't seem to be progressing. I guess I kind of am frustrated with it. I texted Pot about going out this weekend but she is busy. I think I will try one more date with her. I think she is cool but I don't know how high of a priority I am for her and she certainly isn't a super high priority for me.

Other notes: A girl named Conrad called me the other day to ask me to go to a concert with her. I had already made plans so I had to decline but I may end up taking her out.

We live and die by the same principles or A night in New Orleans

So last Thursday was my long planned bachelor party trip to New Orleans. As the token Mormon, the trip promised to have some awkward moments. We hopped on the plane and I found my seat next to MrShit, a pretty blonde. (I apologize for the nickname, but during the flight, she told me that it was her nickname and explained why and it was just too hard to avoid). Milo was across the aisle from me and Thunder was up in first class. Thunder and I have been friends since undergraduate. He has a bit of a temper.

So, I really had lots of time to talk to MrShit. And talk we did. MrShit was just fun and bubbly and interesting. I was kinda sad to have the plane land. I felt really awkward asking her for her phone number cause we had merely sat next to each other for our flight. We live in different states and lead very different lives. So I said bye to her and set off for the weekend.

Drama ensued. At one point in a taxi, I seriously thought we were all going to be arrested. If I thought it was uncomfortable spending the night in our suite with the AC turned all the way up, imagine how uncomfortable a jail cell might be with the humidity and the temperature. This was Friday night. After a number of harsh words were exchanged between all of us (there were six guys), my friends went into a pizza parlor. I stood out on the street to people watch. Suddenly I heard my name spoken excitedly. It was MrShit! She was really excited to see me and I was super excited to see her. After all, my friends were darn near ready to kill each other and any distraction from that was welcome. Her friends and my friends immediately merged into a large group, saving us all from killing each other.

When MrShit found out I didn't drink, I think it weirded her out a little. It hadn't come up on the airplane. But we still quickly found ourselves really connecting. I gave her a shoulder rub. Milo was trying to hook it up with her friend Shontelle (not her real name but funny nonetheless). As the night progressed, MrShit and I became more and more friendly with each other. We danced. We kissed. We held hands. To be honest, I really liked hanging out with MrShit. I just felt an emotional connection with her. Eventually, MrShit and I and Milo and Shontelle ended up back at our suites. Milo had signalled to me that he intended to copulate with Shontelle. I made out with MrShit a bit in another room. Then she fell asleep and the heat got to me. I really liked spending time with MrShit but it was nearing 6:30 in the morning and I hadn't slept. I was exhausted. Figuring that Milo had been alotted plenty of time, I left MrShit sleeping and headed to the room I shared with him to figure out the situation. Apparently Milo and Shontelle were in the middle of their act when I entered the room. Milo tried to get rid of me and in the process, said something that offended Shontelle. She got up to leave and he begged her to come back saying "Shontelle, come back here." Well, Shontelle was not her real name and she was most displeased at being called by a different name. We woke up MrShit and they left on their merry way while Milo lamented to me about how awful he felt. I felt a little bit bad too but sleep was so necessary.

The rest of the trip occurred with very little incident. Upon returning home, all I could think about was MrShit. I found her on facebook and wrote her a message. She wrote back. She said how much fun she had with me and how great it was to meet me. It made me feel really good. I actually read through that message about 6 different times yesterday. I haven't felt this kind of emotional connection to someone in a long time. Of course, it just happened to be about the worst timing in the world. MrShit is moving to Hong Kong in less than two weeks for a study abroad. And she lives in a different state than me. And she drinks a fair amount. But spending time with her was so great. As I explained to Milo, it wasn't like all the pressure filled dates with Mormon girls. MrShit was excited to be with me then. She wasn't thinking 3 months or 3 years or 30 years or 300 years into the future. She was thinking about the now. I think that a lot of the girls I go on dates with are emotionally closed off. Sure they are friendly and have fun but they are guarded. They have walls put up and I hate them. MrShit had no such walls.

Now that it is over, and I will probably never see MrShit again, I can't stop thinking about her. I want to see her again. I want to talk to her more. I have a feeling she is going to push me away. Say something to the effect of "I am moving to Hong Kong and I don't want to get too attached to something here in the states right before I leave." I guess in the end, you live and die by the same principles. My connection with MrShit was born because of her short-sightedness and will probably die because of the same short-sightedness. But for a few brief hours, I was on top of the world.