Friday, July 2, 2010

Pho, a platinum blonde and Jerry Springer

Last weekend, I went with some friends to an art festival. I love looking at the art and mingling with those artsy fartsy girls. While I was walking, I saw Anastacia. I have mentioned Anastacia before but never by name. She is a Russian girl that used to be in one of my wards. About a year ago, Anastace informed me that she was ready to settle down. Apparently, she had decided to live a fairly wild life until she turned 25 and then she wanted to find a nice (rich) boy and settle down. I was skeptical, to say the least. Especially when she informed me that I would make a great suitor for her. I am smart enough to know that I don't make enough money for a girl like Anastacia. She has dated rappers and worked as a concert promoter in Russia. But she wants a nice American guy cause they don't cheat and can lead a more normal lifestyle. So when I started talking to Anastacia on Saturday, she was all compliments. It was kind of an ego boost to have an attractive girl gushing about how good you look. But like I said before, a girl like Anastacia would bleed me dry and then disappear back to Russia; with a 50/50 chance of taking the kids with her.

On Wednesday, House invited me to go see a local play. Her company sponsors the theater and so we were VIP. It was great fun. As usual, I had tons of fun with House. In fact, I invited her to the rodeo with me tonight. It should be a lot of fun.

Last night, I met up for dinner with my friend Smash. Let me just tell you, if you haven't tried the Vietnamese dish Pho, you are in for an experience. She took me to this trashy little restaurant and ordered this dish for me. It had floating meatballs that had a texture I had never before seen on an animal product. Pho is some kind of soup with vermicelli noodles in it. Now I understand how my grandpa felt whilst fighting in Vietnam (actually, I am not sure if either of my grandpas fought in Vietnam, nor do I know if they partook of Pho, I just thought it was a funny joke). Either way, it was not for me.

I was dropping Smash off at the apartment of her friend Platinum. As Smash opened the door, Platinum was standing there in a towel from a recent shower and Smash immediately shoved me away to prevent me from seeing anything (jerk). So Platinum tells me to stay for a minute while she changes. Here's where it gets interesting. Platinum is a fairly attractive girl with more drama in her life than mine and Flava Flav's lives combined. Perhapst thats an exaggeration but she comes out in this pink shirt that goes down to about her thies and is semi transparent (don't worry, she was wearing underwear, you could see it) and these knee high white stockings. She has her nose pierced and her hair is platinum blond (almost white) which could be natural but is more likely totally fake. Then, Smash's friend shows up and they take off to go clubbing. I was about ready to leave but Platinum looked like she needed to talk to someone (and maybe I was a little interested in what her story was) so I stayed and we talked until about midnight. I won't tell you Platinum's life story but I will tell you the portion that caught me most off guard. Her mom and dad separated after she was born and remarried. They each had more children. So Platinum's half brother from one side of her family is now dating Platinum's half sister from the other side of the family. I kept waiting for Jerry Springer to jump out of the bushes and for some huge transgender to come running at me ready for a fight. Sometimes you need moments like that to remind you of how stable your own life is.


  1. The Newton'sJuly 6, 2010 at 2:57 PM

    I finally looked up house on facebook. I wasn't quite sure what to expect since I haven't seen her since she was five. You make it out like she isn't that attractive, but I think she is really pretty. And I am not just saying that to be nice to either of you. I really think she is pretty, just so you know.

  2. Dear The Newton's:

    I think House is pretty. I just am not falling in love with her and I wonder if that is in part because I am not attracted to her. I obviously enjoy her company and I think she has a lot of great qualities to come to the table with. But if I am not in love, how can that possibly work?

    Love Tripp

  3. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA pho cali IS NOT trashy. YOU are trashy =] <3 smash

  4. Dear Anonymous (aka Smash):

    YOU were the one who suggested that we were going to the trashier Pho place with the better Pho. Come on! And you said yourself that the place was trashy. I mean, our waitress disappeared whenever we asked for anything, we ran out of water, she forgot your to go containers... Plus, the place had 5 critical violations and 8 non-critical violations during the last health inspection. They were storing pots of soup on the floor and using a meat cutter that was not clean! Finally, I paid for your Pho. This makes me not trashy.

    Love Tripp