Monday, March 22, 2010

I know you're out there somewhere

BFD had a friend that needed a date on Friday so I brought along Milo. Having her friend and my friend there only seemed to amplify the awkward that is BFD. Milo was explaining some things about his ethnic origin and I could just see BFD's eyes glaze over. I don't know if it was too intellectually challenging for her or if she really just didn't care about some central European country and the politics there. I was annoyed that she wouldn't give my friend more respect.

After dinner, we went and saw that new Gerard Butler/Jennifer Aniston movie "The Bounty Hunter." Do not go see this movie. Ok, the movie wasn't bad. It just wasn't at all good. I think BFD liked it. The concept of the movie is just dumb. And somehow they expect us to believe that these people ever were in love or ever could be in love again.

I didn't hold hands with BFD or kiss her. In fact, she put on lip gloss while I was still finishing my dinner AND on the drive back to her house. It's not just that BFD doesn't have some of the things that I think are really important, she hardly has any of the things that I think are important.

On Saturday, I went on a date with Pulse. We were cuddling at her apartment near the end of the date. I came to the full blown realization then that I really have almost no feelings for Pulse. I care for her as a friend but the romantic interest simply is not there. I felt so dishonest for taking her on dates and stuff when I just wasn't interested.

So now I find myself at a crossroads. Should I keep going out with either Pulse or BFD to see if feelings develop? Or should I stop asking either of them out and wait for the next wave of girls that may or may not come?


  1. Move on. You gave them both a chance... and it looks like it didn't pan out so well. You'll find others, but you have to purge your dating pool when you realize there is no potential. That's always been my motto anyways.

  2. You can't act like there are no girls that will come. Do you remember that I had THREE that I could set you up with?

  3. Dear Jody Mac/Kensey:

    Sometimes I get kinda scared to just 'purge' my dating pool. Every time I fall in love and it ends, I seriously wonder if it will never happen again. Or that it won't ever be as strong as it was before. I tried thinking of an example of this but had a hard time. One example that is kinda close is John Cusak in "Serendipity" where he goes into every used bookstore to see if the copy of "Love in a time of Cholera" with Sara's number in it is there.

    Anyway, so maybe I will purge this time and then never have another opportunity. I am not saying it is realistic or necessarily rational but it is a real fear that I have.

    Love Tripp

  4. I think it's time to move on. I know that I would feel terrible if I found out a guy had to convince himself to keep dating me in the hopes that he may develop feelings. Call me a romantic but I'd like the guy I marry to fall head over heels in love with me.

    And lucky for me - that seems to have happened. YAY! If it makes you feel any better - he's 40 - never been married and then he found me! Nothing has ever felt so right - for him or for me.

    Give it time. :) You'll find the right one. And stop letting people pressure you into dating girls you aren't crazy about!!!

  5. I'd like to echo Daisy's sentiments. Also, in addition, dating people you don't like makes you feel bad about yourself! It's true for all of us. I'm all for giving it all you've got, meaning 3 dates with a person to give them a chance to wear off you on, but after that, mosey on. That attitude people get when they think, "well, this is all I will get" is sad and it shows in your face when you have it. When I finally purged myself of all the guys I didn't like and stopped trying to change my expectations and myself, I started dating my fiance. I had met him and was friends with him before, but it wasn't till I was completely free from all those guys I didn't like that I was able to find what I really did like. Maybe cleaning off your plate won't make you find the one, but at least you won't be weighed down by these "prospects" that aren't prospects at all.

  6. Tripp you aren't the only person that is afraid that 'the right one' will never come along. Trust me, WE ARE ALL AFRAID OF THAT! Its part of mormon culture to start worrying after about age 23, and as the years start ticking away like a time bomb I think we all get more frantic...and so does every one around us. The nagging questions are never ending. But in all actuality, it is perfectly normal to not date when you aren't interested in anyone. I prefer it because going on dates when I'm not interested is tiring, and quite frankly boring! 'Where are you from?' 'Oh that's awesome I've always wanted to go there.' 'I bet you'll be a great (insert future occupation here)' ALL first dates are the same and when you don't care, it becomes less interesting than normal. Purging helps you identify what you want and don't want and once someone has been purged, doesn't mean they can't reapply...or whatever it is you want to call it. It just means that for now, you recognize that whatever it is that you are looking for, they ain't got it!

  7. I say...stop seeing both of them, and don't 'wait for the next wave of girls that may or may not come'---make it happen yourself. I'm a big fan of not waiting on anyone! Give yourself some credit for being able to recognize that you're wasting time.