Introducing Samsonite

Last night I had my first date with Samsonite. I met her last weekend at a party. I didn't get her number at the party but I added her as a friend on Facebook that night and then asked for her number via Facebook. It's not ideal but it worked.

I picked Samsonite up and immediately thought she was cuter than I remembered from meeting her before. That's always a good sign. The conversation never seemed to lag during dinner. Samsonite and I have the same sense of humor (quirky and a little off-colored) so it went well. Initially I hadn't planned on doing anything after dinner (since first dates are best left short) but I was really digging Samsonite so I took her to my house so we could watch a movie. It was super easy and natural to start cuddling with Samsonite. Sometimes I am not sure if other girls are just more awkward or if they just don't want to cuddle with me. Not that I am a cuddle slut. But a few minutes into the movie, Samsonite and I were cuddling. We did a bit of tickling and ended up making out. It had been way too long. I definitely want to do something with Samsonite again soon. The funny thing is, today as I rehashed our date, I kept wondering whether Samsonite was actually interested in me. I guess there must have been a couple of moments during the date when I felt unsure (these moments were probably not when we were kissing), although I can't put my finger on exactly what moments they were.

Tweak called me on the phone this week and gave me two phone numbers of girls that he thinks I should go out with (and that agreed to be set up with me). A coworker offered to set me up with his sister this week (unsolicited). Also, my aunt called me to suggest I get set up with her friend's little sister. After 6 weeks of no dates, having a dating pool of 6 or 7 girls feels a bit overwhelming. Of course, it's the good kind of overwhelming.

Speed Dating

Over the weekend, I went speed dating. After a significant dating hiatus, my hopes weren't too high of meeting anyone. A couple friends of mine were doing this speed dating event to launch their new dating website. Since I honestly had nothing better to do (and secretly since I thought speed dating might be a little fun), I headed over. The first thing I noticed was the disparity between guys and girls. There were more than twice as many girls as guys there.

I awkwardly took a seat. There were actually a few cute girls there. Not dream girls. But girls that had some potential. For whatever reason, I didn't feel intimidated. So I started talking... lots. Rather than give the usual rundown of who I am and where I am from and what I do, I tried to avoid those subjects and focus on just being fun. See, one of the biggest struggles I have on dates is because of my dating resume. I subconsciously feel as if I am in a job interview and I need to make sure that the interviewer knows that not only do I have multiple degrees but that they were obtained from prestigious institutions. The problem is, dating is not like job interviews. In job interviews, being subtle is often a negative. In dating, being subtle is the key.

So as the night progressed, I continued to avoid most of the talking points about my career or my education or how I play guitar. Instead, I focused on which Disney Princess I would date (I joked that it would be Beast but we all know it would be Belle). I asked about their careers but made all of my comments very lighthearted. And it worked. I was the belle of the ball. 9 different girls listed me as someone they would be interested in going out with! The next closest was a guy that had 3 girls list him as someone they would be interested in going out with. After the event, Rogen and I and one of the girls grabbed some dinner together.

On Saturday, I was hanging out with Sugarloaf and TheCaptain watching some football when Sugarloaf got an invite to go to a party. I am normally very hesitant to go to these parties, since I rarely meet anyone and generally don't have much fun. But I was feeling good, so I agreed to go. It was a blast. When we got there, I released all of my inhibitions. Why? I am not sure. I wish I could control it. I talked with a bunch of different girls. Two of them gave me their numbers and I am going to call them this week to set up dates. I don't think I even told them what I did for a living. I just had fun. I flirted shamelessly and fearlessly. I left the party feeling like a million bucks. I may not be back in the game yet, but at least I feel like I am a contender again.

The Wonder Years

I haven't been dating. So what have I been doing with all that extra free time? Watching The Wonder Years on Netflix.

It's amazing how much emotion I feel while watching that show. In some ways, it's actually a bit awkward. As I watch Winnie and Kevin interact, I sometimes wanna scream at the tv because they are always playing mind games with each other. The other night, I swear it, I cried just a little. I loved that show growing up and watching it all now brings a wave of nostalgia. Confession: I had a super crush on Winnie Cooper growing up. I always thought her and Kevin would end up together. I still remember the way I felt when I watched that final episode for the first time. A part of my hope for ever finding someone died when I found out that Winnie Cooper and Kevin Arnold did not end up together.

What have I learned?

In response to aLifeInBloom's suggestion (a cute redhead in a relationship that I have never met), I am going to try and write about how I have changed in the past year. For simplicity, I will write it as a numbered list.

1. Less chaotic dating. I think in the last year, I realized how awful it can be to go on four dates a week consistently. I think I mostly just liked the attention. Lately, I have been going on less dates with less girls. It makes for a boring blog. But it means I am not constantly trying to juggle dates with four or five girls at a time.

2. Less money. I have made a conscious decision to spend less money on my dates. Yeah I took Popcorn to a traveling broadway musical, which wasn't cheap, but in general I have decided to spend less on my dates. This past week I had tickets to a Taylor Swift concert. Rather than take a girl I wasn't that into, I sold them for a tidy profit.

3. I feel less like marriage is just around the corner for me. I used to think it was just going to fall in my lap soon enough. Now, I have serious doubts about whether I will be married anytime soon. It means I am thinking of my life more in terms of being single rather than "I can't buy that cause it won't make sense once I get married."

I was hoping that I could write a really decent list of ways that I have changed in the last year. But I don't think I have changed that much. So instead, here is a list of things that I could/should change to become more dateable:

1. Be less shy. I ask plenty of girls out. But they are often setups or girls that I know that I am not that interested in. The girls that I meet or see and really want to date intimidate me so I am less likely to talk to them or ask them out.

2. Worry less about marriage. When I am not thinking "where is this going?" I tend to have lots more fun on dates. Problem is, how do I stop thinking like that? How can I be "fun Tripp Hazard" rather than "date Tripp Hazard" on a more regular basis while on dates?

3. Make more of an effort to go to social activities where I might meet people. This one is harder. The mormon party scene drives me crazy. I never meet anyone at those parties and leave feeling angry. Bars aren't much better. Should I go back to school? Take cooking classes? Join a yoga group? I need a better way to meet girls.

4. Get rid of my mullet. Yeah, I said it. I love it because it makes me feel like a rebel. And it gives me this excuse like "these girls just aren't interested in me because I have a mullet."

5. Dress better. I have tons of out of style clothes. And lots of in style work clothes. But hardly any in-style casual clothes.

6. Do what I love. They say it's easier to meet someone if you are just doing what you love. I don't really know exactly what that means. I guess I need to get some hobbies that will help me meet girls.

Last week, I had a second date with Popcorn. It was fun but short. I can't tell right now if this thing with her is going anywhere or if we are on the fast track for friendship. We just went out for dinner and then talked in the car while listening to music.

A Spoonful of Sugar

On Friday night, I had a date with Popcorn. I first met Popcorn six years ago when she was dating my roommate HandsomeRob. Back then, she was a 19 year old hair dresser that I didn't consider to be very smart. But we maintained our friendship over the years. Initially I texted her to see if she would go to the football game with me and the parentals on Saturday but Popcorn was working that night. She said she was free on Friday though, so I took it.

I was thinking about what to do on my date with Popcorn and I decided that I really wanted to go see this musical. So I told Popcorn to dress up. We ended up having a really fun time. Popcorn is fairly easy to talk to and looked great in her dress. I went home from the date feeling pretty hopeful about things (which hasn't happened in a long time).

On Saturday, I ended up being set up on a blind date with this girl Scooby by GetErDone. I don't really like to take dates with the parentals, especially blind dates but they had invited me to the football game and seemed intent that I take a date. Scooby ended up being really cool. She handled the conversation with my parents well. And didn't mind that I was a bit hyperactive at the football game either. But, Scooby is a couple years older than me. Honestly, I have a hard time with that. And while Scooby was definitely more attractive in person than in her pictures, I didn't feel that attracted to her during the date. Right now, I am kind of on the fence about taking her out again. Suggestions?

On Sunday, I had dinner with a family in my ward. They have this really cute daughter Foxtrot that is engaged. Her best friend Fanta was also there along with her boyfriend. Both girls are super cute. After dinner, we were outside playing a game. It was my turn to move and as I jumped, I uncontrollably farted. Everybody heard it and laughed. I was super embarrassed. I pretended to not care but am pretty sure I will forever be that guy that farted during the game. Still, being there made me feel like there are cute girls out there that aren't total snobs. I just don't know how to meet them.

Skydiving and the fair with Pulse

I talked Pulse into going skydiving with me on my birthday. I knew that the only way I would dare do it is if it was on my birthday and if I had someone there with me to hold me accountable. I was so scared. Surprisingly, Pulse wasn't really all that scared. We both ended up having a lot of fun. So I decided to ask her if she would go to the state fair with me the following weekend. In case you don't know, I love the state fair. It's a combination of the food, the smells, the people, the rides, the carnies, and the animals. And I knew that I would have fun with Pulse.

The fair started out well enough. We got some fried cheese on a stick and saw a bunch of the animals. Then, we went to the sheep. While Pulse and I were looking at the size of the scrotum of a prize sheep (the size of a cantaloupe!), in walked this guy that Pulse has kind of been dating lately. Although my feelings towards Pulse are definitely mixed right now, I was not too happy to see/meet this guy. In fact, it put me in a pretty bad mood. Pulse and I have had many talks about the difference in guys. She uses a scale between "dude" and "emo." I use a similar scale between "douche bag" and "wiener." This guy is basically pretty far over on the "wiener" scale. Although Pulse says that I am a dude, I consider myself to be somewhere in the middle (although closer to the "douche bag" side than the "wiener" side, but not by much). However, when this wiener started talking to us, I reverted to "douche bag" mode. I couldn't help it. I felt threatened and I didn't want him there. It's hard to explain how I reverted to "douche bag" mode but I definitely felt it. It actually carried over for another 45 minutes after we left the wiener. I was kinda mad at Pulse that we had run into him and that she had introduced us and acted like it was no big deal. To Pulse's credit, she worked hard to get me out of "douche bag" mode. She suggested we ride some of the rides. I was less than enthusiastic and just wanted to leave the fair and head home. Pulse talked me into it though, and as soon as we were on one of the rides, I came out of "douche bag" mode and started having fun again. The rides were fantastic. I love fair rides. Expensive and dangerous with creeps running them, fair rides are a true white trash paradise. We screamed and laughed and basically just loved riding the rides. Although I was super frustrated with Pulse and am feeling as if I will probably just walk away rather than try and date her, I was glad that we had the night together at the fair.

It's Fair Season

On Thursday, I had lunch with my grandma and littlebrother. Littlebrother had to take off early and as my grandma and I were leaving the restaurant, someone yelled my name. I turned to see Jewel walking towards us. I gave my grandma a hug and sent her on her way and walked over to chat with Jewel. It was pretty short, I made a couple of jokes, tried to make myself appear aloof and then said I had to get back to work. I could see in Jewel's eyes that she was hoping for more. And I was right. Two minutes later, I got a phone call from Jewel asking me if I would like to meet her for lunch on Friday. I politely declined, citing lunch plans with my parents. I could definitely hear bits of regret in Jewel's voice but she admitted nothing.

On Friday night, GetErDone called me up and said he wanted to set me up with this girl Figure for Saturday. I tentatively agreed and then a few minutes later, Figure called me using GetErDone's phone. She asked if I had something to ask her. It was a little weird but I liked her being forward about it. So I asked her out for Saturday. When I picked her up, the first thing Figure told me was about her strange diet. Figure is training to be in a figure competition (sort of like a female bodybuilding competition sans the huge muscles). As is typical, I had tons of questions to ask her about it. Why did she do it? What did it entail? What could she win? Did she have a six pack? (yes she did)

The problem is, it got our date started on completely the wrong foot. I don't know if Figure normally would have asked lots of questions but I think my questions sent her into pageant mode. Pageant mode is when a girl only answers the questions that you ask rather than attempts to have a conversation with you. So as the questions about figure competitions began to run dry, so did our conversation. I wanted to ask about other things but I felt pigeonholed into that one topic. Figure tried to ask me some questions but those conversations never got off the ground. In the end, I learned more about figure competitions than I thought I would ever learn. But very little about Figure as a person. And Figure learned very little about me as a person either (other than my ability to interview pageant girls).

At one point, I was struggling so much that I started trying to figure out what guys Figure was attracted to. She started telling me that she was super picky and she wasn't sure that any of the guys there were her type. I felt like the person asking the questions of Miss South Carolina why the majority of US children cannot find the United States on a map that got more than they bargained for. "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some... people out there in our nation don't have maps." And I also learned that fairs are only as fun as the person you are there with.