How dating is not like house hunting - and why it should be

I wish dating were a little more like house hunting. When I decided to buy a house, the first thing I did is hire a realtor. Her name was Heather and she was fantastic. The first thing Heather did was figure out my finances to determine what I could afford. In other words, what sort of house (or girl) I deserved or could competitively get. We came up with an acceptable range and some of the deal breakers (must have an attached garage - no junk in the trunk, must have at least 3 bedrooms - must be neither underweight or overweight, must be in a good neighborhood - must come from a good family). That range basically laid out what I could expect to get in a house.

Next, we visited houses. Some nights we would go to 10 or 12 different houses. She always drove so that I could eat cookies in the passenger seat. Heather picked out all the potential houses and sent me pictures. I was free to veto any of the pictures if they looked like they wouldn't be something I would want. Heather and I probably looked at over 100 houses. We would show up at a house and Heather would immediately explain to me what the positives and negatives of that particular house were. I am picky but I don't realize it. So I would look at a house and say "well, I think I like this and this," and Heather would say "I can already tell you don't like this house." So we would move on.

I chose a house and put an offer on it. This is sort of like getting into a relationship with a girl. My parents came and viewed the house, along with a few of my close friends, and they said that they weren't really sure it fit me. So Heather and I went out on another trip and looked at even more houses. That last trip was almost a disaster. Heather and I looked at a number of houses that were not at all what I wanted. We stopped at our last house of the evening both feeling a bit frustrated. The house was gorgeous. It was well within my price range although the sellers were asking a little more than what I had hoped to pay. After 15 minutes of walking through the house, I knew it was the one. We got into the car, and without me even saying anything, Heather knew it was the one too. We did the paperwork, canceled the contract on the first house and made an offer on the second house.

Part of the problem with dating is that I never get to really see what all the options are. When I go to parties, I am only looking at the flashy expensive luxury houses. They are out of my price range and more house than I want. When I go to a singles ward, I feel as if I am looking at the fixer uppers. The ones where you get a lot equity fast but may need a little work before you can move in. If I go to a bar, I am really just looking at apartments (temporary) or condos (not really what I want). While I was still in college, I had the opportunity to view all the new models. It was like the Home Show where they show you all the newest latest and greatest house technologies. The problem with those houses is that everyone wants to buy them, so it is a seller's market, which drives prices up. Now that I am out of college, I hardly see any houses that are for sale. I follow the same path to work and home every day. I pass maybe three houses that are for sale and not one of them interest me. What I need is a marriage realtor. One that can accurately assess what options are appropriate for me and what options are outside of my league (up or down). And one that only charges once I actually settle down. How much can one expect to pay for a service like that? Do you know anyone that offers a service like that?

The Long and Short of it

So House and I ended things last week. Well, I should say that House ended things and I let her go. It made me a lot more sad than I let on to anyone. She did it via an email and her reasons made sense. She just couldn't handle waiting any longer to figure out what it is that I want. I think part of the issue is that since House starred in that commercial, she has been inundated with options. Everyone wants to know what her dating situation is like and they want to set her up. She told me that she felt like she was wasting opportunities by not going out on those dates since she had no idea where her and I stand. I am not the least bit mad at her for it. I totally understand why she did what she needs to do. But it's hard to explain to anyone else. Littlebrother seemed to be the only person that I talked to that really had any understanding. My mom actually came over and punched me in the shoulder. She was kinda mad.

I hung out with TAB twice last week. She drove me crazy both times. I don't think I can do much with her anymore. Besides being a bit controlling, she can also be mean. She isn't very sensitive to other's feelings and none of my roommates like her. I guess it's back to the drawing board.

We watched the Bachelor, well sorta

On Wednesday night, TAB and I went out. Well, sorta. I met her at her house and we watched the Bachelor. Well, sorta. See, TAB wanted to watch the Bachelor but then when we started watching it, she got really frustrated with it and didn't want to watch it anymore. So we switched to Modern Family. I don't really watch that much tv but it was a fun show to watch. TAB was being pretty obnoxious though. For some reason, I think she was trying to push my buttons. The thing is, with how stressed I have been at work lately, I was feeling particularly patient putting up with her shenanigans. Still, TAB acted like a spoiled 15 year old girl. We ended up kissing but I left wondering what it was that I saw in TAB. I didn't have lots of fun with her; if anything watching tv with her reminded me of watching tv with Jasmine.

On Thursday, I went to the wedding reception of House's brother. House had invited me and I was glad I went. I had fun just sitting and talking with House. On Friday, I had another date with TAB. After dinner, TAB said that she was tired and had to get up early the next morning so I took her to her house. I haven't quite got TAB figured out. She has the attention span of a 5 year old. She might like me a lot one minute and not like me at all the next minute.

On Sunday, House and I went to dinner with my family at my grandma's house. It was a lot of fun. House is just super chill with people. Compared to some of the other girls I have dated, of course my family is going to like House. Still, House handled it like a charm. We had fun playing with my cousins on the wii. Still, I couldn't help but think about what an older gentleman in my family ward had told me earlier that day. "But what if I don't know if she is the right one?" I asked. "Then she isn't and you should leave her and move on," was his reply.

TAB texted me on Sunday night to say she didn't think she could date me because, she said she is "really hestitant about things with you. I don't want to string you along. I don't know what to do..." Then 10 minutes later she said "I'm in a strange place and need to take it slow... but I want to see you. I'm annoying, huh?" Today she texted me and said "Let's try to get together and we'll play it by ear?" I didn't respond. The whole thing is just weird.

Am I just playing House?

I have been busy with the holidays and haven't felt like posting. Let's see if I can remember. My date with Lebron was rather dull. In fact, it was just plain boring. We drove to a Christmas party hosted by GetErDone and Lebron had a hard time giving us anything to talk about. I was in a bit of a fiesty mood so I wanted to talk about her opinions on politics or schools or something interesting. They were all dead ends. I tried talking about school vouchers cause she is a teacher and she basically said she didn't have an opinion on the subject. So I tried talking about movies. Turns out Lebron doesn't really like movies that much. I dropped her off early and headed home. I received a text from TAB saying her plans had canceled so I invited her over to watch a Christmas movie. While TAB was driving over to my house, I received a call from MrShit. It was fun talking to her but it's so hard when she is too far away to ever see.

That night, TAB and I cuddled and I felt myself kind of leaning towards liking her. The thing is, House is better than TAB in pretty much every category. Ugh, that sounds awful. TAB is a really cool girl but she is definitely a bit spacey at times. I think part of the problem is that I am driven to like girls that are a bit crazy. House came over one night and we exchanged Christmas gifts. It was short lived cause I was sick. I really do feel bad that I am not falling in love with House. In fact, I am kinda pissed off at myself.

Over New Years, Dee and Dum and RunsWithScissors and I headed to Las Vegas. We met up with Dee's friend Unwritten for dinner. I immediately kinda liked Unwritten. She is really tall and very pretty. Plus, she is super chill. Not a bad girl at all. But just more relaxed in social situations. As we were eating dinner, I came up with an idea for challenges that each of us was to try and complete before the evening was over. It was a fun idea and everyone helped come up with ideas. My challenge was to propose to Unwritten 11 times in front of large groups of people. So I bought a cheap ring in a gift shop and got to it. You would not believe the kind of reaction you get when you propose to a girl in front of a huge crowd on New Years Eve. People started cheering. They gave me high fives. They wanted to see the ring. On the fourth (and final time), people came running at us and started running in circles around us. Unwritten was a good sport but four times was enough for both of us. Unwritten is still getting over an exboyfriend and is pretty much undateable right now.

On New Years Day, we met up with Unwritten and her brother for dinner. Our waitress Dispatch was very pretty. She reminded me of WTEG a lot. Not fat but not skinny. More curvy. And she just seemed really fun. It was a bit depressing cause she flirted with Unwritten's brother a bunch. What was I gonna do anyway? Ask for her number? I doubt it.

House sent me a message on New Years Day in distress. She was trying to figure out why we weren't spending much time together. I think House has been a really good sport through all of this. I really don't feel like I have been stringing House along although I know a lot of people would argue otherwise. I wrote her an email today explaining how much I liked her but how I wasn't falling in love with her and I wasn't sure if it was because we weren't right for each other or because I have defense mechanisms set up. To be honest, I am really scared to see how she might reply. Of course it is selfish to want to keep House around without my being ready to commit to her. I don't like myself for even considering it. But should I really drop the girl that is probably the best fitted to me because I am unsure about myself? If I were sure that House wasn't the one, I would have dropped her a long time ago.

A beautiful drink for beautiful people - TAB

On Friday night, Lebron and I went on our third date. Well, sorta. She texted me to say that her little brother was playing in a basketball game that evening and she really needed to go watch him play. So Steve-O and Milo and I bought some steaks and grilled them up. The plan was for Lebron and I to meet up later that night and go see a movie but it ended up being much later. Lebron came over and we watched a few episodes of The Office. We cuddled and she fell asleep. Since we both had early mornings, Lebron took off fairly early.

On Saturday, I flew out to meet up with TheCaptain and go to the football game. We met up with TheCaptain's girlfriend MrsTheCaptain on Sunday night. MrsTheCaptain is much cuter in person than she was in any of the pictures I had seen of her. Not sure if TheCaptain reads my blog anymore but way to go man. They are totally going to get married soon. I enjoyed hanging out with MrsTheCaptain, although at times she seemed a little bit aloof. And she definitely reminded me of Belle from a year and a half ago in both looks and the way she acted.

On Monday, I woke up at 4:45 to catch an early flight home. I rushed through security only to find that my flight had been canceled. Thus, I spent most of the day laying on the floor of the airport waiting for the new flight. Disastrous.

On Wednesday, I had my first date with TAB. The moment I picked her up, I knew it was going to be a good date. One, TAB is a touchy person. I hate being touched by people that I don't want touching me. But an attractive girl that I am interested in touching me? Yes please. We immediately hugged and TAB had to show me her room (I guess she had just cleaned it). We had dinner at my favorite Bosnian place and TAB handled herself quite well. She made jokes and asked interesting questions and laughed at all the right times. It was definitely a fun first date. Without much else to do, I took TAB back to my house to eat some dessert. Milo and Steve-O were there and they decided to give TAB a bit of a hard time. TAB seemed to handle it pretty well, laughing and acting like one of the guys. I am sure when their language became fouler, it bugged TAB a little but she handled it like a champ. When we got back to her house, TAB invited me in for a minute. I met her roommates and she showed me her gingerbread house that she had made. We sat on the couch and she whispered some secrets to me about her roommates. It was really fun. I left feeling that I really wanted to see TAB again soon.

Tonight I am going out with House. Tomorrow I am going out during the day with Lebron and then with Dee and Dum in the evening. Should be a busy weekend.

Adventures in Dating Wonderland

Last weekend, on Friday House and I went to a basketball game with BFF and the guy that BFF is currently dating. House is just so comfortable around everyone. It's amazing how I have never noticed how uncomfortable most of the girls that I date are. Or maybe it's just that House is particularly good with people. After the game, we stopped at Wendy's so I could get something to eat. Then we watched Christmas Vacation. Hands down the best Christmas movie ever made. We cuddled and kissed and it was a great evening. I have definitely started liking House more recently. Is it enough? Well, I just don't know yet.

On Saturday, RunsWithScissors and I went on a sort of double date with Dee and Dum. I drank a large coke before the date (Caffeine makes me act a little like I am on cocaine I think) and on the date, I was uber hyper. I had the hardest time sitting still. But it was fun. On Monday, Dee and Dum decorated a tree in front of my house and placed a sign saying "From Santa" on it. It was actually pretty good looking. Sort of like the Christmas tree from the Charlie Brown Christmas Special.

On Tuesday, I had a date planned with FarFarAway. I kinda decided recently to maybe try and go out with her a few more times to see if there is anything there. I called her the day of the date and received no response. Around 9 that night, she texted me to say she had called in sick to work and had been sleeping. She really wanted to reschedule but I was/am hesitant.

Simpson has started texting me again. She wants to hang out. I told her if she made me cookies, I would forgive her for just disappearing 5 months ago. Since I always felt lukewarm about Simpson, I will not be too disappointed if she drops back into another coma at any time. I think it is her flakiness that drives me the most crazy.

On Tuesday night I called TAB to ask her to this Christmas party. We played phone tag a bit and in the meantime, MrShit sent me an email wanting to know if I wanted to talk on the phone with her in Hong Kong one last time before she took off on a trip to Cambodia and Thailand. I told her a specific time to call me and a few minutes before, TAB called me. TAB and I absolutely click, at least on the phone. I really enjoyed talking to her. Problem was that MrShit was calling me from a foreign country and didn't have much time to talk before she was leaving the country. So I think TAB was a bit disappointed that I cut our conversation short. She couldn't go to the Christmas thing with me and I was a bit disappointed but MrShit already called once during my phone call and I couldn't very well explain to TAB that I was waiting on a phone call from a girl in Hong Kong. So I told TAB that I had to go do my laundry. Afterwards, I felt like such a dork for giving such a flimsy excuse. Then I talked on the phone with MrShit. It is always fun to talk with her.

On Wednesday, I had a date with Lebron. I was really excited for this date. Lebron is so smart and I just smile when I look at her. I think she is very cute (although she could probably use a breast reduction). I decided to take her some place a little nicer. I called and made reservations and we wandered through some stores while waiting. One of the problems with Lebron is that she seems so innocent and I worry that I am not quite myself around her. One of the stores we were in had all sorts of kooky stuff and I was trying to make jokes about buying some of them and she just kinda shrugged it off as if they were inappropriate. After dinner, we watched some episodes of The Office at my house. At one point, there was a sexual reference in the show and I made a comment about it and Lebron kinda laughed at me but wouldn't really respond to my comment. We didn't cuddle but there were a couple of times where I felt like we were really clicking. Because TAB couldn't go out with me on Friday, I asked Lebron if she would like to go do something with me. She said yes. At the end of the night, as I went in for the hug, I noticed a subtle way that Lebron approached the hug that suggested she might be open to me kissing her. I didn't but I felt like maybe I had the option.

TAB texted me before my date with Lebron and said she was making Thai food and that I should come over and try it. I told her that I already had plans but that I would really like to do something with her next week. I am not sure if she was disappointed or not. But it was a good sign.

On Thursday night, House was going to come watch my soccer game and then we were going to grab a bite to eat and sit in her hottub. She texted me midday to say that she had to cancel because of unexpected chaos from a friend visiting from Australia. I totally understood. It was probably good anyway, since I lost my temper at the soccer game. This Bosnian guy on the other team picked up the ball after it went out of bounds when he shouldn't and I yelled at him and he started really yelling back. I totally would have fought him right then and there. Milo came and intervened. We ended up losing the game and I left in a rush because I was so mad (on a side note, a guy kicked the ball pretty hard into my junk TWICE during the game - the second one laid me down on the floor).

Tis the Season

On Tuesday night, I finally managed to go on a first date with Lebron. Lebron and I met through the online dating website. Having been out with girls I met online in the past, I was very nervous. Would she be pretty? Would she be much heavier than in the photos? Would she attempt to steal a lock of my hair so that she could perform voodoo spells on me? Thankfully, all was pretty normal.

I picked up Lebron and we instantly clicked. I guess there are just some personalities out there that I really click with and others that I do not. But Lebron found me funny and that's usually enough to get me going for the night. We went to a Japanese Hibachi restaurant. In hindsight, not the best place to go on a first date. The cook comes out and cooks right in front of you, leaving you very little time to talk with each other. Still, we managed to get through a few subjects. And I managed to make her laugh, which is of the utmost importance.

Lebron had told me beforehand that she felt like most first dates were too long. So I had planned on taking her home after dinner. We parked the car at her apartment and kept chatting for a minute. It was obvious we still had plenty more to talk about. So Lebron says "Wanna come inside? But I'm not coming on to you." I thought that was hilarious. So we went inside and ended up talking for another 2 hours. We talked about some serious subjects and some not so serious subjects. But the conversation seemed to flow easily. And to be honest, I found Lebron to be very attractive. I am almost sure we will go on a second date.

Last night, House and I went out to this Christmas festival. I always have fun at these things but I can't help wondering why they even exist. I understand that they are for charity but are that many people really that interested in going to look at a bunch of decorated trees? And the entertainment: horrendous. Painful even. At some point, these kids need to be told that they are talentless hacks and pushed into more appropriate hobbies (like reading). Ok ok, I am jesting. But they shouldn't be given a stage and encouragement. Their dancing was fairly bad and their singing was much worse. And the boys that were involved? House and I had an interesting discussion about how these boys ended up in dance groups where the girls outnumbered them (sometimes 12:1). I voted that it was because the boys planned on hooking up with these girls. House tended to agree with me, noting that her roommate (a high school teacher) thinks that the girls on the dance troupe at her school have a much higher percentage of sexual experience than the average student. Mostly, House and I felt bad for them. We both shared stories of growing up and playing on sports teams where we were clearly inadequate. I think most of the kids are pushed into it because of their parents. Points for House for agreeing with me that kids should not be raised in a way that they feel forced to join awful dance groups and perform at Christmas festivals.

At the festival, I ran into BFF. She was there with a friend of hers that I had never met named TAB. Afterwards, BFF texted me to say that TAB had said she thought I was funny and cute. So I might end up taking TAB out soon. She is this shorter girl with lots of personality. Now, before you become too critical of me for dating other girls besides House (or for dating House at all as some readers believe), remember that I am just trying to figure this whole dating thing out. I continue going out with House because I really enjoy spending time with her. And we have kissed, although not a ton. I don't have an answer of how interested in me she is. I think she really likes me and maybe it will go somewhere but it is going to go at my speed.

I have been getting quite a few texts of fanmail lately from FarFarAway. We hung out a few weeks ago (it didn't really feel blogworthy) and she is always sending texts saying things like "Hey handsome, how are you?" It's a little weird. Especially when she says things like "We need to hang out so that you can fall in love with me and we can get married and I can have your babies." I am not kidding, she says things like that. So I told her I would take her out on a date this next Tuesday. Last night, as I was laying in bed texting five girls (BFF, Dee, House, Lebron and FarFarAway) I felt just a bit overwhelmed.