Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Take your memories I don't need em

On Saturday, my roommate RunsWithScissors and I went to Costco looking to spend some money. Our initial plan was to check out their barbecues and maybe look for an edger for the lawn (since RunsWithScissors doubles as my lawnboy). I was also interested in patio furniture. We walked around and my head was definitely in the game. I was looking at items, considering their usefulness and just generally enjoying participating in the commerce that is Costco. I looked up from the solar powered yard lighting pieces and exclaimed to RunsWithScissors "Oh my gosh, there is my ex-girlfriend."

WhiteTrashExGirlfriend (WTEG) and I dated many years ago. We both worked at Walmart at the time. So did her mom. I remember when her mom told me that WTEG was coming to work at the store that I had better stay away from her daughter. Within a few days, we went on our first date and we just clicked. WTEG was not mormon.

The thing that I found particularly intriguing about WTEG is that I didn't feel constantly judged around her. WTEG wasn't judging me for potential eternal companionship. She was living in the now. And the now was that we had a lot of fun together. As the summer drew to a close and WTEG prepared to move back to the city where she attended college, I decided to break up with her. We had talked before about how our relationship could never really go anywhere. I was committed to getting married in the temple and WTEG didn't have the slightest interest in joining the Mormon church. It was a sad day because I really liked WTEG. I saw her a few months later at my brother's funeral and hadn't seen her since until Saturday.

WTEG got married a few years ago and now has a two year old. I said hi to them and told them I was "just a lawyer" which they found funny. Not too many other Walmart coworkers had since become lawyers. I really just wanted to talk to WTEG for a few minutes. I wanted to say how sorry I was for breaking up with her so many years ago. That I had really cared about her and that I just felt the pressure of family members and friends to not date her. I really just wanted to find out how she had been after all these years. It didn't work out that way.

After saying hi to them, one of WTEG good girlfriends from high school also came into Costco and saw WTEG. WTEG turned and started talking to her. I was all but forgotten. I said goodbye to her mom and RunsWithScissors and I turned back to the task at hand. However, in the brief two minute delay, I lost my zeal for shopping. We drove back to the house while I took many a trip down memory lane. Determined to get my mind off WTEG, I weeded around my house for four hours in the sun. I looked her up on facebook and found her but didn't add her as a friend. I missed her. I missed that sense of wonder that I felt when I was with someone that I really liked and that I just felt very comfortable with. Maybe I really just missed liking someone and having them like me too.

3 comments:

  1. i like your nick name for this girl. reminds me of tall guy with sunglasses(tgws) :)
    sigh. sorry for how that went down.

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  2. Dear singlemormonchick:

    Probably one of the most fun things about writing a blog is coming up with all the nicknames. Then my friends get to try and figure out who the nickname refers to. Don't worry, it didn't go down that bad. It just kinda knocked me out of my regular state of mind for a few hours.

    Love Tripp

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  3. so far, no one i know reads my blog, so no one comments, but the names are pretty transparent for those who know me at all. it is fun, but i find it difficult to come up with snappy, memorable ones all the time. some are down right hum drum, but oh well.
    glad you bounced back :)
    tgws contacted me a few years back. i had this brief fantasy about being on oprah as one of those couples who reunite after 25 years. he went incommunicado for a few days and i was beside myself-dreams were dashed. when he contacted me again, it was to apologize for not contacting me because he had email issues. tons of phone conversations and one visit later, we are just friends. remote ones at that. we talk maybe 3-4 times per year. i know it can happen, but it is rare that the fantasy lives up to the reality. i was madly in love with this guy and now... not so much.

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