Thursday, May 20, 2010

Is that a hairless cat?

I was supposed to go to dinner with Simpson the other night. But when I texted her, she told me she had forgotten and that she had some car problems that needed taken care of. I know it sounds dumb but I was kinda bugged at Simpson about it. So I haven't contacted her since.

Last night I went to a condo with Sugarloaf, Barrel, TheCaptain, Robin (The Boy Wonder), Giselle, this girl BigMac and this girl LuvMeLongTime. LuvMeLongTime and Giselle are really good friends. I really have no interest in dating any of these girls. It's amazing how hard it is to get girls to come along on things with us. I know Sugarloaf called like 5 girls and none came. TheCaptain brought along all three (all of whom I had met before). Everytime I hear girls complain about how they are never hanging out with guys, I have a hard time believing it. Either there are tons more guys than girls around or huge groups of girls are going around with a small number of guys. Either way, it pisses me off.

While I was in law school, a coworker showed me a picture of his sister-in-law named Sphynx. She was really cute. I suggested he set me up with her and he told me that I had no idea what I was getting into. Sphynx bred/raised hairless cats. She didn't have one or two or three or four. She had 17! Still, she looked cute enough and I thought to myself "How bad can a bunch of cats be?" On our first date, Sphynx seemed fairly normal, albeit a little shy. The date was fairly short and I thought I would ask her out again. As we were driving after dinner, Sphynx told me that a year earlier, she had been stealing oxycontin from the pharmacy where she worked and had been sent to rehab. I know it's a good idea to get things like that out in the open fairly early on, but conversations about recent drug abuse on a second date is not recommended.

Still, the date went well enough. We watched a movie at her house (well, her parent's house where she lived) and things appeared to be going well. We started making out and I kid you not, a hairless cat jumped up on me. Google "hairless cat" if you wanna see what these creepy things look like.

A few days later, Sphynx called me and asked me to go to a baby blessing of her sister's baby (my coworker's kid). I agreed. We sat down in sacrament meeting but Sphynx felt like confessing. So, as the sacrament was being passed, Sphynx told me how many tattoos she had (three). Then she told me how many piercings she had once had (9, including one in an unmentionable location). About a week later, Sphynx called me and invited me to a family dinner at her house. I accepted. I showed up and Sphynx acted particularly weird. She seriously asked me if I was ok like 7 times during dinner. She seemed high. My coworker told me that before I had arrived, she was freaking out and needed help doing her hair. She had just come from work at the pharmacy (yeah, she was able to continue working there) and he thought she had taken something there. She told me she had only taken a Xanax but it seemed like she had taken more.

After dinner, she was really rude to her mom (we were in her parent's house and her mom was watching tv; Sphynx told her mom that she was being rude for not leaving the room to let us watch what we wanted to watch (even though the basketball game on that her mom was watching was plenty interesting to me)). At this point, I decided I had just about enough with Sphynx. She got a text from some guy and she told me about how he wanted to date her but that she didn't want to date him, she wanted to date me! It really freaked me out. I said something about wanting to leave and she kinda grabbed onto me and was like "No, you can't leave yet." Not wanting to be rude, I stayed for over an hour after that. I was really put off by the whole thing though.

A week or two later, I decided that the only solution was for me to "break-up" with Spynx, even though we had never really gotten together. Whenever I meet a girl that is a bit crazy, I usually gauge her craziness on a "how many hairless cats" scale. Sphynx was a 17 hairless cats amount of crazy.

Other notes: Pulse is now officially in a relationship on facebook.

9 comments:

  1. i think this story beats my story about the guy who was asking me out, but wanted to be sure i was ok with him being a cross dresser and if he could borrow my clothes. thats something, tripp.
    he would be a 17 on your scale.

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  2. HAHAHA... jumped on you while you were kissing...

    hahaha... -wipe tear-

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  3. Dear singlemormonchick:

    Crossdresser seriously sounds like an 18 hairless cats amount of crazy. I am not sure my story beats yours.

    Love Tripp

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  4. Dear Liz:

    You have no idea how messed up that was. These cats are creepy. They look like alien cats (and probably are). I found out later that there was a couch in the basement (where the stupid cats were not allowed) that we could go make out on. She actually preferred making out up where all the cats were.

    Love Tripp

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  5. Oh Tripp, I forgot about your blog and then during a momentary boredom remembered, thanks for the continous entertainment (that is why you write it correct?) By the way the one twin is single again, she isn't into a lot of dating right now though, but if you come up with something good I'm sure I could set you up

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  6. you might be right tripp-it MIGHT be an 18. in my VAST dating experience i had never had a man ask me if he could wear my clothes. ever. till him. it was surreal. and weird. and just plain gross. to me, anyway. when i told gbf he got really worried i was judging this guy for being a cross dresser. sigh.

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  7. Dear Heather:

    I am glad you were entertained. Set me up with the twin for sure. That way I can come see your house and your baby.

    Love Tripp

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  8. Ahh Tripp... I have been reading your blog since close to the beginning. Sphynx being a "17 hairless cats amount of crazy" was enough to make me want to actually comment on your misadventures -- I laughed aloud in my cubicle at work!

    Anyway, your writing has been progressively more interesting over the past year, and you now speak with more compassion about the women you date. Keep up the good blogging and don't settle!

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  9. Dear Anonymous:

    Thank you for the compliment. I have hoped that, at the very least, my blog has become more interesting over the past year. Keep reading and offering advice.

    Love Tripp

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