Friday, January 22, 2010

Pseudo-douche bags

I had a first date with a girl on Wednesday. Let's call her Spinster. GetErDone set me up with Spinster so it was a blind date. It was actually one of the better first dates that I have been on in awhile. I am trying to follow the advice of my friends and not get too excited yet. Still, the date went well. We met up and went to dinner at the Melting Pot. The conversation seemed to flow easily. I told her about how I don't eat pickles because I had a pickle dream when I was 16 and woke up with the taste of pickles in my mouth and she said it was probably the funniest thing she has ever heard. I definitely want to take her out again, but we will have to see if she is even still available when I get back from my cruise (girls I am interested in seem to get boyfriends while I am on vacation).

Last night, Sugarloaf and I were talking while at the gym. He had plans to hang out later that night with a couple of girls and Barrel. Barrel is a chill guy; I like him a lot. However, Barrel basically makes it impossible for guys like Sugarloaf and I to compete. Unless a girl really likes us, she will inevitably go for Barrel. He is better looking, in better shape, more charming, and just generally better with girls than us. He is what I will refer to as a pseudo-douche bag. A pseudo-douche bag is a guy that I know treats women like objects (although the women ALWAYS go willingly) but is an overall decent guy. Typically a douche bag is some guy I don't really know and is therefore competition. Sorta like the greeks labeled everyone not greek as barbarians. I label a lot of the guys I don't know as douche bags.

Even though I think the world of Barrel, his existence is like swimming against Michael Phelps. His presence alone ensures that I can't win. Unless he has been smoking pot recently or traipsing around with that really dumb Miss America candidate... Nobody knows who the number 2 swimmer on the US Olympic Swim Team is. Nobody cares. If you aren't Michael Phelps, you might as well not even bother showing up.

Notes: Received a text from FormerLesbian today. Not sure how to respond. Going out with TheWriter tonight. Should be fun. She explained to me the other day why Swift deleted me as a friend on facebook. Makes sense. Actually, TheWriter said to me on the phone that if I wanted to go after Swift, she had no problem with it. I didn't know how to respond.


  1. why'd Swift delete you as a FB friend so swiftly?

  2. Ha ha. I had to read this blog just because of your awesome title.

  3. You're funny! I can't believe we didn't know you have a blog. Now that I know we will be official stalkers since that is the only way we can keep up with you and all your dates. :) Good Luck, and thanks for making the adventure fun along the way.

    We do need to hang out. When is good for you?