Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Fan Clubs

Milo has been talking a bunch lately about how a lot of girls have a fan club. Basically, any girl that I want to date is going to have a bunch of guys that are part of her fan club. Guys that either know her or have seen her (via the many social networking sites now available) and would like to date her are part of the fan club. It is like finding something you want to buy on ebay. It almost feels inevitable that some douchebag out there is gonna wait until 2 minutes before the auction to outbid you. Sometimes when I am bidding on something really obscure (like an original copy of the Nintendo game Bubble Bobble), I am so surprised to find someone out there willing to pay more than me for it. To defeat them, I usually have to place a fairly high initial bid. However, placing a high initial bid on a girl (i.e., taking her to a nicer restaurant on a first date) doesn't work. It just scares the girl off. Unless I am bidding on a Russian bride; but I really don't want to marry some girl just looking to come to America. Maybe I should offer the same amount of money that a Russian mail order bride costs to a girl here. Sample ad:

Twenty something attorney seeks good looking, fun LDS girl. Requirements include love, cooking on occasion (willing to hire a cook if necessary), laundry on occasion (cleaning service is provided; however maid doesnot do laundry or dishes), reasonable sexual appetite, and great sense of humor. Must be affectionate, healthy and attractive. No control freaks. Willing to pay $10,000 (negotiable) plus relocation fees. Must be ready to commit for eternity. A diamond engagement ring valued at over $10,000 will also be provided upon completion of pre-marriage screening. Only serious applicants need apply.

8 comments:

  1. Why do nice restaurants on a first date scare girls off? I think it means you're putting forth a little extra effort which always earns some brownie points. I wouldn't want fancy dates all the time but they are a nice treat.

    Also, if you find the right girl for you, you won't have to worry about her fan club because she won't care about those other guys (and usually girls with fan clubs don't care about 90& of the guys in their club anyways)

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  2. Hmmm... I think it wouldn't really work. Ha ha. Too bad huh. Life would be a whole lot easier if we could do that.

    I recently heard a guy say this, "My type of girl, it the type that likes me."

    Life would be far easier if we chased people who were all ready interested in us. Yet, as humans we like the chase... so it hardly ever happens....

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  3. $10,000 PLUS relocation costs PLUS a $10,000+ engagement ring? I may have to consider your previous offer to try to move out of the friend zone and into the dating zone!

    xoxo Lorelei

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  4. I think we just like good deals. The chase involves getting what we think is a good deal. It's why people buy lots of stuff online. There is less chase but more chance of a good deal. I think that is why crazy people go shopping at 4 in the morning on the day after Thanksgiving. I personally think that a $20,000 price tag on the love of my life is low. I have already spent at least DOUBLE that on dating. But would I end up with someone who loves me if I pay them?

    Send resumes including a picture, ring size, current location (for calculation of relocation costs) and basic measurements (in case the photo is only a head shot) to tripphazardmcneely@gmail.com. It may also be useful to include basic ring design requirements (princess cut, platinum band, etc.).

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  5. hahaha I think this is one of your funniest posts yet. Great comment too. I love it.

    xoxo Lorelei

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  6. Oh how sweet... (lol. I feel lame saying that but that's cute...)

    I've never heard of that.... I think I'll have to tell my brother the next time he complains about dating costing too much....

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