I have been spending more and more time with Mya and LittleMya. Things have been great. That isn't to suggest that the relationship hasn't had ups and downs though. We have each gone through phases where we thought the other person didn't like us as much as we liked them. I especially felt this way when Mya was struggling to get through her classes near the end of the semester. And while my family has really tried to get to know Mya, her family has not made near as much of an effort. They have said hi to me but they don't really ask me questions or invite me to family activities. I think that they just aren't that close as a family. But also, I wonder if they don't see Mya and I as being that serious. At least, that is what Mya's mom hinted at when Mya asked her about it.
I helped watch LittleMya a bunch while Mya was studying for school. I previously approached everything with her in a sprint rather than marathon style. So spending larger chunks of time just the two of us was harder than I thought it might be. After 45 minutes of playing Barbie, I have completely run out of ideas of new things to have Barbie say or do. After an hour and a half of playing Barbie, Barbie under my control turns into a pretty wacky character.
Three months into a solid relationship is very scary. Even though things just feel right, there is a part of me that misses the dating scene. It's not to say I don't enjoy every minute with Mya and think about her when she is gone. It's just that I spent so much time being single, and a change away from that feels like a bit of a departure from who I am. Confusing? Sure. Problematic? Doubtful. I guess there is just a part of me that is resisting change. Being single allows a person to live very selfishly. And I still mostly live that way.
Miscarriage: My Story
6 months ago