What's been happening lately

So Jewel finally called me early one morning and said she didn't feel strongly enough about me to keep seeing me. I was bummed but the anxiety finally stopped. She said "I am probably gonna regret this." And I said "if you do, give me a call." And that was it. I went on a second date with Cabinet. It was fun but I can tell that Cabinet has huge walls built up. It's almost impossible to schedule a date with her. When I suggested a third date, she told me she had a night available in like two weeks. How am I ever going to build a relationship with someone if I only see them once every two weeks?

I went on a couple of dates with littleKJo. She is dating another guy though. And KJo knows of this blog, so I have to be careful what I write about littleKJo, since KJo is sure to tell her all about it.

I have been talking with Pulse a lot lately. On the 24th, I decided to text her and see how everything was going. She suggested we meet for dinner. We met up around 9 and ended up talking/hanging out until 2 in the morning. It was a lot of fun. I just didn't want to leave. I found myself so emotionally attracted to the stability that Pulse represents. Not that Pulse isn't lots of fun, she just isn't crazy like Jewel. Since then, Pulse and I have talked quite a bit. I told her all about Jewel and she told me all about the guys that are currently in her life. Basically, the timing is not right for dating Pulse.

Last Tuesday, I got a text from Jewel asking how my whiplash was (I was involved in about 6 major automobile accidents and about 8 minor automobile accidents over the previous weekend). I didn't respond. The next day, I received another text from her saying "I would like to spend time with you and get to know you better, is that something you would be interested in?" I was not too happy about receiving this text. The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that Jewel had just gotten bored and liked having someone that liked her. So I followed my knee jerk reaction. I went to my computer and I wrote her an email. It was probably a little bit harsh. I told her how she had mistreated me. I told her I deserved better treatment.

Two days later, I got a text from Jewel saying "Just FYI, that was me admitting I made a mistake." I was seriously confused. I responded "and that was me telling you I still like you." A few hours later, I got another text from Jewel saying that she had just received my email and to have a great summer. I was so confused. Then I received an email from Jewel. She did not like what I had written in my email and felt attacked. She said that she obviously wasn't good enough for me and that she was sorry and that she hoped I had a good life. I responded with another email telling her that I still really liked her and that the email had been a little too harsh. I told her that I was willing to swallow my pride and admit that I had made some mistakes. Was she willing to swallow her pride and admit that she had made some mistakes too? On Saturday morning, I received a text from Jewel saying thanks for the second email and that she had some serious thinking to do. To be honest, it bummed me out quite a bit. What thinking did she have to do? Hadn't she already spent plenty of time thinking?

Today, Jewel called me. We talked for about 30 minutes. As usual, Jewel spoke semi-cryptically. She said that she had admitted she made a mistake and wanted to go out with me one more time to see if we clicked. But then she had received the emails from me. The harsh words that I said made her realize that it was selfish of her to go out with me again and torture me so. I told her that this was not irreparable. And that was it. I said bye and she was gone again. At this point, I seriously doubt that I will ever see Jewel again. I suppose it is for the best.

Last week littlebrother brought a girl over to my house named ZZ. I thought ZZ was pretty cute and littlebrother was all about me asking her out (after he made out with her in my house - which is just awkward). I am toying with the idea of asking her out.