The similarities between Princess and Jewel

I went out with Jewel twice last week. I didn't kiss her after either date. Why? Because I discovered last week that I like her. I am not sure when it happened or how it happened. I just found myself thinking that I would rather go out with Jewel than do something on my own. I found myself thinking about her during the day. I was upset about her smugness about California. You see, Jewel is from California and she always tells me how great it is there. She goes there to visit her mother every other weekend. I think my realization that Jewel likes California more than she likes me was what made me realize that I liked Jewel. Along with liking her came an odd side effect: I started worrying about her leaving. I had flashbacks to dating Princess years ago.

For the first 6 weeks of dating Princess, I was unsure about her. She was pretty but I wasn't sure if I was attracted to her. Princess was a bit uppity and at the time, I held myself out to be a very regular guy. After all, I was driving a truck for a living. After each of our dates, as I drove home, I considered not calling or seeing her again. I felt as if Princess liked me more than I liked her. And then in an instant, everything changed. Princess informed me that her ex-boyfriend was coming back from an internship and she was going on a date with him that weekend. She said that because we had never discussed our "relationship" she was free to go out with him and maybe even kiss him. The following morning, I left on an interstate job. Over the next few days, I worked 80 hours. Most of the time was spent by myself in the truck on the open road. Nothing to think about except Princess. And losing her. Such was the beginning of the end. Our relationship didn't end that weekend. Instead, it was on life support for 6 weeks. I guess I can understand when a family keeps a loved one on life support long after the doctors have told them it's over. I fought desperately to get back what I had lost but in the end, it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. What happened with Princess that summer 6 years ago still haunts me.

So when I started liking Jewel, I felt her pulling away. I saw the future. I can't relax around her. It's as if I feel smothered by her sudden lack of interest. But did she change? Probably not. Over the past few days, I realized that Jewel can break my heart.