Disasters

So when I first started writing this blog about a year and a half ago, it was just to let a few of my friends read my stories and allow myself the opportunity to write more. I was warned often that writing about my dating life might jeopardize some of my personal relationships and hurt some feelings. I shrugged all of that off because nobody was really reading my blog anyway and people wouldn't know what to search for if they wanted to find it anyway. I am not the best at being completely honest about my feelings and emotions in front of people. In fact, I tend to hide behind my "nice guy" persona. Thus, this blog has also provided a bit of therapy by allowing me to say the things that I would never say in person. Typically this has been for the better of "for better or worse" but on Tuesday, it would prove to be for the worse.

On Tuesday, one of the girls I had been going on dates with found my blog and texted me to let me know her disapproval. To say that it stressed me out would be gross understating. Part of the reason that I am such a nice person in real life is that I don't want to hurt people's feelings. So, I began taking advantage of the anonymity that this blog affords me, and I posted some things that were harsher than I should have. I called her and apologized. She told me that I objectified women and that I clearly needed therapy. It seemed rather ironic having her tell me how bad of a person I am for having posted some of the things about her personality that I didn't like.

I immediately pulled the blog offline while I decided what to do. Do I want to keep writing and risk more problems such as this? Do I want to discontinue the blog? Should I sugarcoat everything I write about every girl so as to prevent any feelings from being hurt in the future? I guess what it really comes down to is this question "Am I treating dating as a game or am I truly searching for the right one?" Even though I would like to think it is the latter, I have to admit it is a combination of both. But what right does anybody have to judge me for that? Thus, I am going to continue blogging and let the chips fall where they land.