The Bare Minimum

Since the last post had a list of things that I wanted, I thought it might be appropriate to write a list of the things I need. The absolute bare necessities without which I simply will stay single forever.

1. Female. (There is no way I am marrying a male or something in between).
2. Somewhat near my age. (I wont marry a grandma or a child.)
3. Drug free. (I have dated girls that had former drug habits and I guess I am ok with that. But no current drug users. I don't have time for that. My insurance only covers so much rehab.)
4. Willing to let me be Mormon. (I don't absolutely have to marry a Mormon girl - although I would like to. But I cannot marry a girl that pushes me away from the church or fights me constantly about my religion.)
5. Willing to let me raise my children Mormon. (Again, even if she isn't Mormon, I fully expect my children to be. I want them to be active in the church. I think that as parents, we are responsible for our children and I won't let someone change that.)
6. Not overweight. (I would rather be single than marry a huge girl. I think a large change in weight - say more than a 40% increase should be grounds for divorce.)
7. Not ugly. (She doesnt have to be a model but if I am not attracted to her, I am not marrying her. Forget it.)
8. Able to read and write. (There is just no way that I could marry an illiterate girl.)
9. Clean. (I have a maid service but they only come once every two weeks. If the house becomes a pigsty over the course of 13 days, then this girl has a serious problem and I didn't sign up for that big of a problem.)
10. Disease free. (Mostly I am referring to STDs like AIDS and Herpes. I won't sign up for that. If she is a cancer patient... I would have to think about that. I mean, marrying someone knowing they have 6 months to live would just be really difficult.)
11. Normal body. (I simply can't marry a girl with three arms or three eyes.)
12. Straight. (I guess sometimes a lesbian chick is hot but if I don't turn her on, why would I marry her?)
13. Non-abusive. (I don't like getting hit or put down any more than anybody else does.)
14. Capable of working. (If she can't go get a job if need be, I think that would just be too hard.)

Well, that list was quite depressing. I think some of my minimums are actually higher than what was listed but I don't know how to define where they are on the medium so I just listed the bottom threshold. Ugh, let's hope it never comes down to a game of bare minimums.