Multiple dates and a new crush

On Thursday, I had a blind date with FireCracker. I was actually set up with FireCracker by Dee. When we talked on the phone, I could tell that FireCracker and I would at the very least get along very well. Her personality reminded me of BFF. Since I had never seen a picture of FireCracker, I was definitely a bit nervous. So when I knocked on the door, my first thought was "great, she has a cute roommate that answered the door." As it turned out, that cute roommate ended up being FireCracker. Due to our phone conversations, I brought a list of awkward conversation topics. After ordering (per my suggestion, she ordered the octopus!), we got right into the awkward conversations. I loved it. The conversation was easy and never forced.

After dinner, we went back to my house to watch my skydiving video. FireCracker was mostly impressed with my house (although she did mock me for having an entire room full of African safari stuff).

My biggest concern with FireCracker was that even though I thought she was cute, I wasn't sure if she was cute enough. Like that I would enjoy spending time with her but I wasn't enamored by her looks. Personality wise, we just clicked.

On Friday, I had a third date with Basketball. We went to the baseball game. It was fun but I spent a good portion of the night wondering if Basketball and I are at all on the same page. We had some very interesting conversations and I know that she had fun (as did I) but the romance is not kicking in at all.

On Saturday, Milo and I met up with Smash and some of her friends to go to the casino. We took the bus there. One of Smash's friends immediately caught my eye; her name was Mya. Early on, Mya mentioned that she had a child. But Smash told me that Mya was sorta divorced (but not really, for insurance purposes). A little later in the evening, as Mya and I were sitting next to each other playing Blackjack and talking, I thought that she seemed really cool. Within an hour of that, I had developed a huge crush on her. It's hard to explain why. After all, Mya is not really what I traditionally want in my life. She has some tattoos. She isn't Mormon. She has a husband...

But on Sunday, she was all I thought about. And even though she hadn't given me the slightest indication that she would ever be interested in dating me (in fact, she told Smash that Smash and I should get married), I felt what I hadn't really felt in a long time: Hope. I have talked before about the X factor that I want to feel for a girl. And how I struggle finding that. And looking at Mya, I realized that part of me must be rebelling against what everyone tells me would be good for me. In college, I just sort of fell into my major. And then I just sorta fell into law school. In fact, I just sorta fell into my current job. So, there is a part of me that really feels like I haven't been making enough decisions about my own life. And so even though Mya is probably totally wrong for me (although all I have been thinking is about how right for me she seems), I want this decision to be my decision and no one else's. Hence my frustration with dating. In general, I keep going out with the same type of LDS girls that meet the minimum requirements but that aren't my first pick. So for now, I have a hope that I could spend more time with Mya. Without worrying about marriage and children and family and religion, I just want to spend more time with her.

First date with FireCracker rating: 7

Possibility of a second date with FireCracker: High

Third date with Basketball rating: 5

Possibility of a fourth date with Basketball: Medium to Low