This morning, as I was driving to work, I saw a cute girl in a car near mine. Then, we went out to lunch at a restaurant with a really cute girl working as the hostess. I have seen her there several times before. Cute and blonde and surely wild. I am so attracted to girls that are wild. These wild girls are like caffeine. I crave Coke all the time. But I know what it does to me. I can never take a few sips. I end up guzzling it. If I order a Coke at a restaurant, I will get two, three or even four refills. And oh how sweet it is. It's cold. It's full of flavor. I start feeling like I am on top of the world. I have been known to dance on a table after drinking Coke. I have also been known to be quite fearless. When I have been with these wilder girls, I have felt the same way. Fearless and on top of the world.
But, inevitably there is a crash. Usually my eyes go first. They start looking very tired. More tired than normal. Even if it's 10 at night, my eyes start looking like it's 4 in the morning and I haven't slept yet. My mind fogs up. Sometimes I crash and fall asleep easily. But most times, I end up at home sitting on the couch watching late night tv until three in the morning. Or sitting on my bed doing absolutely nothing for hours straight. I usually get a major headache. And I pay for it over the next few days. My body is so dehydrated; the inside of my mouth constantly feels sticky and occasionally gets completely dry.
I guess I crave that feeling of being on top of the world. I think all guys are attracted to wilder girls. It's probably due to evolution. Or maybe it's just a sign that I am not with the right girl yet. Either way, I can't help but notice tons of attractive girls all around.
Miscarriage: My Story
8 months ago