Wild Horses Can't Be Broken

This morning, as I was driving to work, I saw a cute girl in a car near mine. Then, we went out to lunch at a restaurant with a really cute girl working as the hostess. I have seen her there several times before. Cute and blonde and surely wild. I am so attracted to girls that are wild. These wild girls are like caffeine. I crave Coke all the time. But I know what it does to me. I can never take a few sips. I end up guzzling it. If I order a Coke at a restaurant, I will get two, three or even four refills. And oh how sweet it is. It's cold. It's full of flavor. I start feeling like I am on top of the world. I have been known to dance on a table after drinking Coke. I have also been known to be quite fearless. When I have been with these wilder girls, I have felt the same way. Fearless and on top of the world.

But, inevitably there is a crash. Usually my eyes go first. They start looking very tired. More tired than normal. Even if it's 10 at night, my eyes start looking like it's 4 in the morning and I haven't slept yet. My mind fogs up. Sometimes I crash and fall asleep easily. But most times, I end up at home sitting on the couch watching late night tv until three in the morning. Or sitting on my bed doing absolutely nothing for hours straight. I usually get a major headache. And I pay for it over the next few days. My body is so dehydrated; the inside of my mouth constantly feels sticky and occasionally gets completely dry.

I guess I crave that feeling of being on top of the world. I think all guys are attracted to wilder girls. It's probably due to evolution. Or maybe it's just a sign that I am not with the right girl yet. Either way, I can't help but notice tons of attractive girls all around.

Saxophones and cheesecake

On Tuesday, I invited Wonder to a saxophone recital for the wife of a coworker. Most of the date felt pretty awkward. I like Wonder, I really do. I think she is sweet and caring and just a great person. But I just don't feel that connection with her. On Wednesday, Jewel and I went out. I am so tired of traditional dates that I decided to take Jewel shopping instead. We went shopping for clothes for me. Yeah, it sounds like a pretty egotistical thing to do. But it went really well. We had fun interacting, Jewel had some useful opinions, and it gave us time to bond doing something that normal people do (i.e., people that aren't out on a date). We grabbed dinner after and went over our lists for what we want our future mate to be like. It was pretty casual and I got to know Jewel quite a bit better. We ended up kissing that night. It was good (although I like kissing Wonder better and think Wonder is a better kisser). I have been thinking a lot about the LDS general conference talks about how guys need to just settle down and marry someone. I guess they were pretty much speaking to me. After all, I have a few really good LDS girls that would probably marry me if I wanted. I am not delaying marriage for education or financial reasons. I am delaying because I want to find the right one. Should I really just marry someone that I have some common interests with and hope that love appears? What would you do if you were in my position?

I'm just trying to find... what's on her mind

Wonder texted me last week and asked me to go to a hockey game. After our previous date, I was very hesitant to go out with her again. But I went. And I had a lot of fun. I could tell that Wonder had zero interest in the hockey game but she did her best to have fun anyway. We had a really interesting conversation over dinner after the game about the traits of the person we want to marry. I actually felt like we bonded a little. It helped to see Wonder really trying. On Thursday, Jewel and I met up for dinner and a movie. I always have lots of fun with Jewel. She is just so spunky. Kind of a bit nerdy too but fun. She called me a killjoy when I predicted the end of the movie. We held hands during the movie but there was no linger after the movie when I walked her to her car. I am not sure if she wants me to kiss her or if she just doesn't know how to act in those situations. On Saturday I had a date with Peyton. The situation with Peyton is kinda awkard. We met at a bar 2 1/2 years ago and ended up making out. We hung out one time after that but I really wasn't that interested. Every once in awhile, she will text me and suggest we get together for something. So I finally agreed to something on Saturday. The date was pretty fun. Peyton is really interesting to talk to. But she isn't really my type. We were on the couch and she turns to me and says "Wanna make out?" It was just so casual, it caught me off guard. I suppose dating is like a lot of things in life: two steps forward, one step backwards.