A Second Date or The Mormon Aristocracy Strikes Again

On Friday, I had a second date with Basketball. I was excited because I had tickets to The Hunger Games on opening night. My friend Soup joined us as a double date. As usual, the conversation with Basketball was very easy. I don't have any trouble finding things to talk about with her. Being on a double date meant it was harder to have a deep conversation. But while we were waiting for the movie to start, we got a chance to talk. I found myself wondering if I could relate to Basketball: she is so into sports and while I like sports, there are so many other things I like too. It was during this time that I also seriously questioned if there could be anything romantic between us. Normally by a second date, you are at least partially thinking romance, right? There just wasn't any sexual tension with Basketball. It makes me wonder if I am walking down the same path that I walked with House. Should I continue going out with Basketball, even though I might never see her as more than a friend?

Last week, I texted Joust to try and set up a second date. She didn't respond. I texted her again and received a response saying "I would like to be friends with you, but I don't see this going anywhere." Even though I absolutely appreciate a girl telling me that, it pissed me off. So Joust is gone.

On Saturday night, TheCaptain and Cowboy and Sugarloaf and I went to a party at a park that was kinda being hosted by DrJ. There were a couple of cute girls there but try as I might, I couldn't get them to even try and have a decent conversation with me. As I was talking to one girl, I could just tell that she was so not interested in talking to me. One girl found out that I was a lawyer and had lots of questions; her dad is a judge and she is considering law school. But the conversation died quickly when her friend jumped in to say it was time to leave. I watched as they continued to talk to other people for 15 more minutes. I am not sure if I was just not cool enough for these girls or dressed well enough or good enough looking or what it was. I get so frustrated at those types of events. But it's pretty much the only avenue for me to meet new girls.

Second date with Basketball rating: 6

Possibility of a third date with Basketball: Medium

2012 - More of the same?

On Thursday, Sugarloaf texted me Flora's number. I guess his roommate wasn't that interested in her so he called her up and asked if he could give her number to me. So I gave Flora a call while I was waiting for Lolita to come over and hang out (Lolita and I are trying to play through Donkey Kong Country on my Super Nintendo). I was hoping Flora was still in town and we could arrange a date. Flora answered and we talked for a couple of minutes. It was a bit awkward. She had already left the state and spent all day driving. And she had arrived at her destination (a friend's parents' house) and was about to get into the shower. So we agreed to talk on the phone the next day.

One of the first questions Flora asked me when we talked the next day was "So, did I say something brilliant that made you want my number or have you just run out of girls in your home state to date?" Kind of funny but also awkward and very direct. I tried explaining it to Flora but I think it just came across as fuzz. Either way, the phone conversation was fun. Yesterday I sent Flora an email that I thought was funny and personal. She hasn't yet responded.

Hanging out with Lolita was a blast. As we were playing Donkey Kong Country, Lolita got a craving for Trix so we hopped in my car and hit up the grocery store. Cold cereal at midnight is such an amazing treat.

For New Years Eve, I went to a club with littlebrother and GetErDone. I have extremely low expectations for New Years Eve, since it is my least favorite holiday. I think my problem with it is that most people are drinking and hooking up. New Years Eve as a holiday does not really make sense for Mormons. GetErDone and littlebrother met a couple of cougars at the club. I kinda tried to mingle but I just felt so out of place there. In the end, it wasn't a bad New Years Eve. It's just that unless I spend the evening with someone and fall in love with them, New Years Eve is really just another night. The only difference is the additional expectations heaped on me to have more fun than any other night.

On Sunday, Samsonite texted me to apologize for being AWOL. A part of me wanted to not respond to her texts and give her some of her own medicine. But another part of me really wants to spend more time with her. That part of me won out. I accepted her apology and told her it was ok. I am not sure if her and I will end up spending any more time together. But if we don't, anything else would be like shooting someone in the back as they walk away. And if we do hang out again, I am not sure how giving her the cold shoulder is going to benefit me. Either way, I still definitely have some feelings for Samsonite and want to see her again.

Gingerbread Houses and Mission Impossible

Last week, Sugarloaf called me up to invite me to a gingerbread house making party. I had nothing else going on so I agreed to go. TheCaptain and my old friend Fireman were also there. Initially, Sugarloaf called me because there was going to be a shortage of guys there. Instead, Sugarloaf had a date there and Fireman had a date there while TheCaptain and I were flying solo. And most of the people there were either married or engaged. So TheCaptain and I did what we do best: we screwed around. We built the worst gingerbread house in the history of gingerbread houses (no structural integrity, taller than the others using gummy bears and toothpicks, no Christmas theme). When they voted, ours received zero votes (because you couldn't vote for your own, what a dumb rule).

I was getting ready to go when Sugarloaf's roommate asked me a few legal questions. His date was named Flora. I thought Flora was cute but it wasn't until we started talking that I really felt like there could be a connection there. One of the first things I noticed was that Flora was excellent at conversation. Also, as she made a comment that only pertained to me, she looked at me and winked. I could have been seeing things. But I discovered that Flora lives in another state and this was a blind date with Sugarloaf's roommate. In other words, there was a chance. I asked Sugarloaf to get some information on Flora from his roommate so that possibly I could ask her out on a date. Unfortunately, Sugarloaf never got back to me.

On Friday night, we celebrated Cowboy's birthday. As we were leaving the movie theater, I noticed a guy with orange shoes waiting for someone. I thought nothing of it until we were driving out of the parking lot. There was Flora walking with orange shoes guy. They were on a date. This was both good and bad. Good because it meant Sugarloaf's roommate was nowhere near sealing the deal. Bad because guy with orange shoes could potentially be sealing the deal. Seriously, for the rest of my life I am going to have a hard time trusting anyone with orange shoes.

On Christmas day, Samsonite sent me a text asking how my Christmas was going. Initially, I had no intention of responding. But, I am a nice guy so I responded and we texted back and forth a bit. It was all pleasantries and no substance. That sort of texting really bothers me. I generally text with a purpose. After a few rounds of going nowhere, I grew tired of it and didn't text her back (her last text read something like "I did have a good Christmas! I am glad that you did too. :)" Don't even get me started on her misuse of exclamation points. And the smiley face at the end? It serves no purpose.

On Monday, Lolita called and suggested I go visit her older brother with her. Lolita's older brother and I have been friends since high school but we hadn't seen each other for a few years. We went over to his place and ended up having a blast. His wife came home and was like "Are you guys dating?" to which Lolita quickly replied "No, we are just friends." It was that funny kind of awkward that you kinda laugh at and cringe at simultaneously.

On Tuesday night, Samsonite texted me to ask if I had seen the new Mission Impossible movie because it was great. I replied that I had and I enjoyed it. Then... nothing. I guess I don't know what to expect but to get a random text like that with no follow up is so weird to me. Today I managed to find Flora on Facebook and I learned a couple of useful nuggets about her. I added her as a friend on facebook. My plan is to wait for her to accept my add and then send her a message saying that it was fun meeting her and suggesting we do something together some time. Too forward? Not forward enough? Too stalkerish? Not stalkerish enough?

Speed Dating

Over the weekend, I went speed dating. After a significant dating hiatus, my hopes weren't too high of meeting anyone. A couple friends of mine were doing this speed dating event to launch their new dating website. Since I honestly had nothing better to do (and secretly since I thought speed dating might be a little fun), I headed over. The first thing I noticed was the disparity between guys and girls. There were more than twice as many girls as guys there.

I awkwardly took a seat. There were actually a few cute girls there. Not dream girls. But girls that had some potential. For whatever reason, I didn't feel intimidated. So I started talking... lots. Rather than give the usual rundown of who I am and where I am from and what I do, I tried to avoid those subjects and focus on just being fun. See, one of the biggest struggles I have on dates is because of my dating resume. I subconsciously feel as if I am in a job interview and I need to make sure that the interviewer knows that not only do I have multiple degrees but that they were obtained from prestigious institutions. The problem is, dating is not like job interviews. In job interviews, being subtle is often a negative. In dating, being subtle is the key.

So as the night progressed, I continued to avoid most of the talking points about my career or my education or how I play guitar. Instead, I focused on which Disney Princess I would date (I joked that it would be Beast but we all know it would be Belle). I asked about their careers but made all of my comments very lighthearted. And it worked. I was the belle of the ball. 9 different girls listed me as someone they would be interested in going out with! The next closest was a guy that had 3 girls list him as someone they would be interested in going out with. After the event, Rogen and I and one of the girls grabbed some dinner together.

On Saturday, I was hanging out with Sugarloaf and TheCaptain watching some football when Sugarloaf got an invite to go to a party. I am normally very hesitant to go to these parties, since I rarely meet anyone and generally don't have much fun. But I was feeling good, so I agreed to go. It was a blast. When we got there, I released all of my inhibitions. Why? I am not sure. I wish I could control it. I talked with a bunch of different girls. Two of them gave me their numbers and I am going to call them this week to set up dates. I don't think I even told them what I did for a living. I just had fun. I flirted shamelessly and fearlessly. I left the party feeling like a million bucks. I may not be back in the game yet, but at least I feel like I am a contender again.

I can't move the mountains for you

I literally got off the phone with Jewel 2 minutes ago. Our conversation was nice, a bit awkward. Jewel told me how great her weekend in California was. And that it had almost pushed her over the edge to quit her job and move back there. She said she is going to spend the next couple of weeks thinking before she makes her final decision.

I was definitely disappointed. I have tried so hard to pretend over the last two weeks that I was over Jewel and that I was ready to move on. I actually encouraged Jewel to follow her heart and do what she needed to do. Partially because I think that really is what she should do and partially because saying anything else would solve nothing. I sent her roommate and best friend here a quick message on Facebook about it. I know I probably shouldn't have but what exactly do I have to lose?

I told Jewel again on the phone that I liked her and that I still wanted to date her. Then, I asked her if she wanted to spend any time with me or if it would cloud her judgment. Jewel said she would give me a call in a week to answer that question. Of course there are going to be moments where I think that I should have said something else or done things differently. But in the end, I told Jewel how I felt. And if she leaves then I guess that is what is supposed to happen.

On Friday, I had a date with Bolivia. I met Bolivia through an ex-girlfriend of Milo's a week ago. We met up with Sugarloaf and Tweak and their dates and headed to a rodeo. Bolivia is in her mid 30s and looks very good. But, there just wasn't a huge connection. I doubt I will take her out again.

Tonight I have a first date with Cabinet. About two weeks ago, I saw her online on Facebook. So I struck up a conversation with her and asked her out. I guess I kinda felt impressed to ask her out. She seems like a pretty cool girl and there have been times where I saw her and thought she was very good looking. I can't say that having this phone conversation with Jewel prior to my date with Cabinet has put me in the best mood for going on dates but I can't cancel on Cabinet 2 hours before the date just because of that. Wish me luck.

Conversations with future strippers

House came over for Band of Brothers last Wednesday night. Nothing eventful. I enjoy all of the time I spend with her. On Thursday, Pot and I went to dinner. It was fun. Pot is older than me by a few years and is divorced. We went for Indian food and then dipped ice cream cones. It was a short date cause Pot is super busy right now but it was fun. The conversation went well and Pot seems like a super chill girl. I am excited to take her out again. Probably sometime next week, since she is out of town for most of this week.

On Saturday night, Milo and I met up with a couple of other guys for sushi before heading to a bar. I always feel a little awkward at bars cause I don't drink but it seemed like fun. We ended up at the same bar that I met Jasmine at a year ago. I ended up in a strange conversation with a girl that I will call StripperGirl (or SG for short) about whether stripping is degrading to women. SG wants to be a stripper and plans to make a ton of money and then retire and live the great life when she is my age. I just wasn't so convinced that it was such a great idea. But it made for a great conversation. SG definitely enjoyed talking to me and as the night went on, SG informed me that she was probably going to sleep with me that night. I hated to burst her bubble but it needed to be done. I hate using the excuse of "I am Mormon" cause it implies that I don't really think for myself and that the only reason I wasn't going to sleep with SG was because of religion. So I explained to SG that I wanted to wait for marriage and such. It was an interesting conversation, one that many mormon girls can probably relate to but not one that many guys have experienced. I was trying to explain my values to a drunk girl intent on sleeping with me.

Eventually, SG got offended that I wouldn't sleep with her. She said I was a tease. There really isn't a good response to that. I went to the bar because I wanted to have an interesting discussion with someone but to the average person, I guess going to bar is all about hooking up. Due to some weird circumstances, I ended up giving SG and her friends a ride home. I guess I should take the whole thing as a compliment.

On Sunday, I texted back and forth with McSwanson. I met McSwanson with littlebrother and Sugarloaf at a party celebrating the 4th of July. McSwanson is divorced with a kid but very spunky and friendly. I think she might have given her number out to four or five guys that night (including littlebrother) but she has potential. I might try and take her out this week. But McSwanson seems a little too playful to take seriously. Like that maybe she isn't taking dating seriously at all right now.

The Getaway

Gamer peppered me throughout the weekend with texts. I really didn't want to hang out with her so I made it seem like I was super busy with work and just too tired to hang out. Instead, I went to a Mormon Aristocracy party with Sugarloaf, TheCaptain and littlebrother. I have been to this exact same party approximately 47 times in my life. It may be at a different setting and there may be a slightly different group of people there but essentially it is always the same party. I guess it is better than nothing but I always find myself leaving these parties saying to myself "I am never going to another one of those parties again." It's not that there aren't cute girls there. Aussie was there (although I doubt she recognized me). It's just that most of the people don't seem to go to these things to meet people. They go to hang out with people they already know. Halfway through the party, someone cranked up the volume on some obnoxious music just to ensure that anyone attempting to have a conversation would be discouraged. For the upcoming generation, dancing and physical interaction always seem to have a higher priority and come before real social interaction.

On Sunday, while avoiding texts from Gamer, I called up House and suggested we go on a walk. I drove over to her place and we just walked for awhile. It was great. The conversation with House is always lively and interesting. Throughout the night, my mind kept running into the dead end of "why can't I date this girl?"

On Monday, I even sat down with one of the partners at my law firm to discuss it. His advice was actually quite astonishing to me. He said that if he were single, physical attraction would not even be close to the top priority when looking for a wife. He said that no matter what, all of that will mean basically nothing in five years. To be honest, I still have a hard time wrapping my head around that. If I were marrying for personality, House would be great. And House isn't an ugly girl. As I have thought about it over the past few days, I have concluded that I have an ego. On my mission, an elder that was fairly popular sent out engagement photos. My friends and I were shocked when we saw the announcement. This guy was marrying a girl that seemed obviously less attractive than him and was slightly overweight. To be honest, we all threw in a few jabs about them. Maybe I do have a bit more of an ego than I would like to admit.

When I dated Mindy many many years ago, it felt so great to go out in public with her. I was a superstar. Is it wrong for me to want that again? Should I just take my dad's advice "Tripp, you are never going to find a better girl for you than House."

Last night, I went to dinner with Gamer. I kinda felt obligated to. Gamer seemed even more clingy. I walked her back to her car and I know that a) she really wanted me to kiss her and b) she really wanted me to invite her back to my place (we met near where I work). I just wasn't having it. I felt bad about it too. I have always been terrified about dumping a girl (even when we aren't really dating). But I gotta do something about Gamer. She wants things to progress and I am really not feeling it.

We had joy we had fun, we had seasons in the sun

On Friday, I left work early and headed down to stay in a houseboat on the lake. I traveled with Robin, BeefCake and MrsBeefCake. Although they aren't married yet, BeefCake and MrsBeefCake are practically married and it just makes things easier. We met Sugarloaf there with Barrel and a bunch of girls. SpicyTuna was there. I haven't talked about SpicyTuna before. I have met her many times and have always perceived her as a snob. It's cause she is always hanging around tools and snobby girls. I wonder if she even realizes that she is such a tool magnet.

Being out on the lake was mostly great. Exhausting. By the last day, I was so ready to get out of there. Can I just say that I really like BeefCake but MrsBeefCake drives me crazy. She is bratty and self-righteous and snotty. I couldn't have been more annoyed with her on the trip and the drive home was no exception.

So I got a chance to have a couple of deep conversations with SpicyTuna. She is actually really cool. Super athletic and spunky, she is the type of girl that everyone knows. I am sure many of the tools pursue her too. Thing is, she doesn't strike me as the type that would want a tool for a husband. She wants to get married and have kids. She wants to fall in love. I really enjoyed my conversations with SpicyTuna. I even kinda would like to take her on a date. It's hard cause SpicyTuna has been out with Cowboy a number of times and she dated Barrel for awhile.

On Sunday, after I got home, Gamer came over. I had fun hanging out with her. I think I am going to keep hanging out with her. I made plans to go out with Simpson this Thursday.

Is that a hairless cat?

I was supposed to go to dinner with Simpson the other night. But when I texted her, she told me she had forgotten and that she had some car problems that needed taken care of. I know it sounds dumb but I was kinda bugged at Simpson about it. So I haven't contacted her since.

Last night I went to a condo with Sugarloaf, Barrel, TheCaptain, Robin (The Boy Wonder), Giselle, this girl BigMac and this girl LuvMeLongTime. LuvMeLongTime and Giselle are really good friends. I really have no interest in dating any of these girls. It's amazing how hard it is to get girls to come along on things with us. I know Sugarloaf called like 5 girls and none came. TheCaptain brought along all three (all of whom I had met before). Everytime I hear girls complain about how they are never hanging out with guys, I have a hard time believing it. Either there are tons more guys than girls around or huge groups of girls are going around with a small number of guys. Either way, it pisses me off.

While I was in law school, a coworker showed me a picture of his sister-in-law named Sphynx. She was really cute. I suggested he set me up with her and he told me that I had no idea what I was getting into. Sphynx bred/raised hairless cats. She didn't have one or two or three or four. She had 17! Still, she looked cute enough and I thought to myself "How bad can a bunch of cats be?" On our first date, Sphynx seemed fairly normal, albeit a little shy. The date was fairly short and I thought I would ask her out again. As we were driving after dinner, Sphynx told me that a year earlier, she had been stealing oxycontin from the pharmacy where she worked and had been sent to rehab. I know it's a good idea to get things like that out in the open fairly early on, but conversations about recent drug abuse on a second date is not recommended.

Still, the date went well enough. We watched a movie at her house (well, her parent's house where she lived) and things appeared to be going well. We started making out and I kid you not, a hairless cat jumped up on me. Google "hairless cat" if you wanna see what these creepy things look like.

A few days later, Sphynx called me and asked me to go to a baby blessing of her sister's baby (my coworker's kid). I agreed. We sat down in sacrament meeting but Sphynx felt like confessing. So, as the sacrament was being passed, Sphynx told me how many tattoos she had (three). Then she told me how many piercings she had once had (9, including one in an unmentionable location). About a week later, Sphynx called me and invited me to a family dinner at her house. I accepted. I showed up and Sphynx acted particularly weird. She seriously asked me if I was ok like 7 times during dinner. She seemed high. My coworker told me that before I had arrived, she was freaking out and needed help doing her hair. She had just come from work at the pharmacy (yeah, she was able to continue working there) and he thought she had taken something there. She told me she had only taken a Xanax but it seemed like she had taken more.

After dinner, she was really rude to her mom (we were in her parent's house and her mom was watching tv; Sphynx told her mom that she was being rude for not leaving the room to let us watch what we wanted to watch (even though the basketball game on that her mom was watching was plenty interesting to me)). At this point, I decided I had just about enough with Sphynx. She got a text from some guy and she told me about how he wanted to date her but that she didn't want to date him, she wanted to date me! It really freaked me out. I said something about wanting to leave and she kinda grabbed onto me and was like "No, you can't leave yet." Not wanting to be rude, I stayed for over an hour after that. I was really put off by the whole thing though.

A week or two later, I decided that the only solution was for me to "break-up" with Spynx, even though we had never really gotten together. Whenever I meet a girl that is a bit crazy, I usually gauge her craziness on a "how many hairless cats" scale. Sphynx was a 17 hairless cats amount of crazy.

Other notes: Pulse is now officially in a relationship on facebook.

White trash roots

On Friday, Cowboy called me up and wanted to know if I would double with him. I already had a date planned with Simpson. We met up and went to the dance studio to learn the tango. Simpson was not as impressed as I thought she might be. After all, normally isn't it the girl that is begging the guy to go take dance lessons. She thought it was kind of dumb to learn to do old dances like that. I thought it was quite fun and the tango is a fun dance to learn.

After dinner, we headed out to the drag races. I will always have a special place in my heart for white trash people. Perhaps it was the many years I worked at Wal Mart. So going to watch drag races just gives me a warm feeling inside. Of course, as we watched the cars race, all I really wanted to do was get my own car out there to race. According to online specifications, my car should be able to do a 1/4 mile in 13.9 seconds, which was faster than more than half of the cars there. I saw one car nearly break the 1/4 mile in under 10 seconds. I should have been a racecar driver. Sugarloaf, Barrel and Arches were there too. Simpson had fun but she was tired. I dropped her off, gave her a goodnight kiss and headed home.

On Saturday, KJo and I met for lunch and some furniture shopping. We found a place selling these giraffes that were about 5 feet tall for $6500. Ha ha, I was tempted but not that tempted. By late afternoon, I was tired so I delayed my date with Gamer for a bit while I took a nap. I met up with Gamer and after a quick dinner, we went and saw the movie The Good, the bad, the weird. She had initially suggested we see Robin Hood but I wasn't sure I could handle two hours of hollywood crap. The Good, the bad, the weird is this chinese action movie. The action scenes moved a little too fast on occasion and sometimes the subtitles in white were impossible to read but the movie was fun. I know Gamer enjoyed it.

We drove back to her car. As we were saying our goodbyes, this homeless dude walked up for a chat in the hopes of scoring some cash. I don't particularly like to give money to homeless people. I get asked for money nearly every day and professional beggars have a particular ability at irking me. So when the homeless dude said he just needed money for a ride to where he was staying, I thought "why not just give him a ride?" Gamer gave me this look like I was dumb as dirt. So she got into her car and the homeless dude and I got into my car. We drove for about three blocks (and the smell was quite intense) before I discovered that the homeless dude had zero interest in getting a ride out to this place (which sort of invalidated his original request for money). So now, I had a homeless dude inside my car begging me for money while drunk as a skunk (and as smelly as one too). Not wanting to give him money, I took him through the drivethru at McDonalds. He didn't stop asking for money the entire time (until I dropped him off back where I had picked him up). I chided him a little about needing to figure out what he was doing with his life (can you imagine a guy saying "and when that guy took me to McDonalds late one Saturday night and told me to figure out my life, that's when I saw the light and decided to stop using drugs and drinking and straighten out my life!") At least it got him out of the car.

On Sunday, I invited Gamer over to watch a movie (I called Simpson first but she was visiting her grandma and couldn't come). I just needed some company. Gamer came over and we watched a movie and cuddled. Now, before you get all judgmental on me, let me clarify a few things. One, I do like Gamer. She is fun to be around. She is interesting. And she is attractive. But I dont really see her as a potential girlfriend/spouse. I just don't feel like I am a bad person for spending time with her.

Typical atypical weekend

On Friday night, Chief and Gamer and an old friend/roommate of mine (WoolyBully) went to the movies. I am still trying to figure out what Chief is doing hanging out regularly with Gamer. I am absolutely attracted to her. She is such a smart alec. Very awkward but I found that if I try and make things awkward for her, it works. After the movie, we went to dinner. Gamer and I were joking about how we could get married to just cover the stigma of being single. She said maybe we could have our own houses. I scoffed at that and said maybe our own rooms but we had to copulate and she said "Sounds good to me." I gave her a high five. Does that mean we sealed the deal and are going to copulate?

On Saturday, Sugarloaf and I went to this church dance. It was dinner followed by ballroom dance instructions. Picture all the awkwardness of a stake dance when you were in high school and then just add 10 years. I totally thought the whole night was gonna be a bust. They had all the guys line up on one side and then said "go find a girl on the other side to dance with." It was like a feeding frenzy. All the cute girls were snatched up in an instant. Then I saw a fairly attractive girl Linguist sitting on the side. Sample conversation:

Me: Hey, you wanna dance?
Linguist: Uhh, well, you see, I can't because I am watching my friend's purse.
Me: Yeah, I understand, it's a pretty rough crowd out here. I would hate for it to get stolen.
Linguist: Well, I just told her I would watch it.
Me: Well, what if I hold it while we dance?
Linguist: No, that wouldn't work.
Me: What if I cover it with my suit jacket and we dance right next to it and watch it?
Linguist: Well, ok.

So we started to dance. And we really clicked. She was very interested in what it was like to be a lawyer. I remember thinking to myself "hey, this is going alright." The song ended and we just kept talking. They taught a new dance and we just kept talking. And then out of nowhere, this total douche walks up to us talking and is like "Hey, it's time to change partners, sorry" and grabs Linguist to go dance. I seriously thought about punching him in the face. See, the problem was that now I had missed the dance instructions (which meant I couldn't just ask someone else to dance) and so I had to go back over to the side where the guys were. I was pretty pissed. Linguist got asked to dance for the next song as well.

As I was walking back over to other side, Sugarloaf came up to me with this awkward girl Katarina. He kinda dropped her off on me and walked away. I wasn't really sure what was going on so I kinda started a conversation with Katarina. Then I tried to walk away and Katarina told me she had tickets to a play and wanted to know if I would go with her. It turns out she had already asked Sugarloaf and he had given some BS answer about a birthday activity that he had that night. I quickly scanned my mind for any legitimate excuse. Nothing came and I agreed to go to a play with Katarina. I was already pissed at the douche bag and this kinda made the night seem even worse. Sugarloaf admitted that he owed me big time later that evening.

After teaching us to ballroom dance, they turned off the lights and blasted hip hop music. I loosened up and had some fun. All the cute girls had left. I danced the way I think people who love to dance do it : I couldn't care less what anyone there thought of me. It was fun. I met one girl who seemed very interested in me but I didn't bother to get her phone number. I wasn't that interested.

Gorillas and swag

On Saturday, Pulse and I made out. It was a pretty good make out. We had just finished watching the crappy movie that we rented. Then, last night at a ward activity, I saw her there. It wasn't awkward or anything, I just didn't run up to her and start holding her hand in front of everyone. Today, I received a facebook message from her saying that she is not going to kiss me anymore until/unless we are in an established relationship. Basically, she likes me but thinks that neither of us know if we like each other enough yet to justify kissing. I really don't know how to respond to that. Should I tell her that I won't go out with her anymore unless she agrees to let the kissing continue? Should I consider her defensive stance a preemptive strike and respond accordingly by discontinuing to date her? I like Pulse but I am nowhere near entering a committed relationship with her.

Other notes: I have a date tonight with BFD. It should be interesting. We are just going to see Alice in Wonderland. I don't intend to do anything after that. I don't plan on kissing her or holding her hand during the movie but she is a bit more aggressive than I am used to. Last night I met a girl named Nascar that I would totally like to take out. She is older than me but seems way fun. I was with Cowboy, Sugarloaf and Tweak when I met her. I think Cowboy had some interest in her too though. Cowboy is sort of like lil'wayne. He just exudes swag. Girls love swag. The thing about swag is that you can't fake it. You either have it or you don't. It's like walking into a gorilla cage. If the gorilla can sense even the tiniest weakness or fear in you, it is gonna tear your head off. Girls are the same way. They can sense a fake swag and they will react violently to it.

"I could get married tomorrow if I just lowered my standards."

On Friday, I had my much anticipated second date with Charlie. I met up with Sugarloaf and his date at a local Thai restaurant. The food was delicious but the conversation lulled a couple of times with her. I know that I should like Charlie. She is pretty. However, every guy has different tastes and mine is just not that partial to her. She runs marathons. She is touchy feely. She really likes board games. We ended up at Sugarloaf's place playing an Olympic Wii game. Charlie wasn't very good at video games but at least she was willing to try. At the end of the date, I hugged her and said "see you soon."

Honestly, I am really trying to like Charlie. What I mean is that I am giving her more chances than I normally would. I want to like her. It would make life so much easier. Of course there would be difficulties with having an "instant" family but that is not what worries me. What worries me is that I am not gaga for her. I tried to explain this to Littlebrother yesterday at church. Suprisingly, Littlebrother was extremely critical of me. "What the HELL are you talking about?" was his response. I think this was because I used the word "love" instead of "gaga." But, if you have read this blog, you know that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Some of the girls I have really liked were not girls my friends found attractive at all. I can't explain it, sometimes I am attracted to a girl and sometimes I am not. Sometimes I feel a connection with a girl and sometimes I do not.

Once Littlebrother got mad at me, it just really pissed me off. Why should I have to explain to him whether I like a girl or not? I think I was a little mad at Littlebrother because he had a blind date on Saturday night over and I thought the girl was very pretty (but also very self centered and immature). I know that Littlebrother doesn't have any interest in her other than just a hook-up and that just pisses me off more. He has some really great options that I don't have and he chooses to just piss them away.

On Saturday, I met up with Pulse for a late breakfast. I decided that I am not really attracted to Pulse. But I am still drawn to her. Part of the problem with Pulse is that she has really blond hairs on her face. I know girls probably don't think that guys notice this type of thing, but let me tell you, WE DO! And once we have seen a girl with some facial hair, it's hard to get rid of that image. So even if the facial scruff is never seen again, well, you only get one chance to make a first impression. I think I will hang out with Pulse again but I am just vocalizing that I am not interested in her for a relationship. I am sure you are saying that instead of wasting my time with another friend that is a girl, I should be hanging out with potential relationship girls. But there aren't any.

On a side note, have you read the Mormon Bachelor Pad blog? There was a post today about a 27 year old mormon bachelor that was picking a fight with them. I found it hilarious. For as much crap as Calvin and Jake get, they sure seem to have a lot of followers and a lot of people wanting to comment on their posts. I was a bit annoyed with all the girls who commented saying "this guy is 27 and mormon and single so he obviously is a loser." It reminded me of a comment my ex girlfriend from law school once said. "I could get married tomorrow if I just lowered my standards a little." I guess the same could be said for all of us. What a wench she was.

how about a little luck?

So last week I went on a cruise. Not just any cruise, mind you, I went on an LDS singles cruise. (Pause for dramatic effect) TheWriter and I went to the opera the night before I left on my cruise. Having never been to the opera, I thought it might be kind of interesting. And it was. But it was also long (over three hours), set in Spain but sung in French, and too warm in the theater. Whenever I said anything to TheWriter, this lady in front of us turned her head as if to growl at us. Meanwhile, the couple next to us (older) were getting frisky and the guy behind us was loudly open mouth chewing his gum. We went back to my house after and decided to watch a movie. Yeah, I ended up making out with TheWriter. I felt so guilty after. I think TheWriter is a really cool girl; I think her and I should be friends. But I just don't feel a romantic interest in her. So why did I make out with her? Because I could. If it sounds stupid, that's cause it is stupid. When you know you can get away with something, I guess it makes it pretty easy to do.

On Saturday, Sugarloaf and I flew out with Arches. Arches is a girl Sugarloaf has known for a few years and who agreed to be roommates with me, Sugarloaf and TheCaptain for our cruise. I immediately had a huge crush on her because she is smart, pretty and nice. After one week sharing a room with her though, my crush is gone. She is way cool but most certainly not the girl for me.

On the cruise, I met lots of girls. The first girl I clicked with was Shart. We hung out on the second night and really clicked. I was honestly worried that perhaps I wasn't going to meet any more girls on the cruise cause I would be with Shart the whole time. Well, I didn't have any reason to worry, after that first hangout, Shart avoided me the rest of the week. We said hi and talked a bit from time to time but any interest that she might have had in me was gone. It was very frustrating. At the beginning of the cruise, I was sure that I would date her when we came back. Now, I am not even comfortable asking her on a date.

By the end of the cruise, I was so ready to come home. I was convinced that there was never going to be someone for me. I have brightened up a little. Ariel was on the cruise and she said some kind words to me. Still, I am as frustrated as I have ever been about my dating life.

Pseudo-douche bags

I had a first date with a girl on Wednesday. Let's call her Spinster. GetErDone set me up with Spinster so it was a blind date. It was actually one of the better first dates that I have been on in awhile. I am trying to follow the advice of my friends and not get too excited yet. Still, the date went well. We met up and went to dinner at the Melting Pot. The conversation seemed to flow easily. I told her about how I don't eat pickles because I had a pickle dream when I was 16 and woke up with the taste of pickles in my mouth and she said it was probably the funniest thing she has ever heard. I definitely want to take her out again, but we will have to see if she is even still available when I get back from my cruise (girls I am interested in seem to get boyfriends while I am on vacation).

Last night, Sugarloaf and I were talking while at the gym. He had plans to hang out later that night with a couple of girls and Barrel. Barrel is a chill guy; I like him a lot. However, Barrel basically makes it impossible for guys like Sugarloaf and I to compete. Unless a girl really likes us, she will inevitably go for Barrel. He is better looking, in better shape, more charming, and just generally better with girls than us. He is what I will refer to as a pseudo-douche bag. A pseudo-douche bag is a guy that I know treats women like objects (although the women ALWAYS go willingly) but is an overall decent guy. Typically a douche bag is some guy I don't really know and is therefore competition. Sorta like the greeks labeled everyone not greek as barbarians. I label a lot of the guys I don't know as douche bags.

Even though I think the world of Barrel, his existence is like swimming against Michael Phelps. His presence alone ensures that I can't win. Unless he has been smoking pot recently or traipsing around with that really dumb Miss America candidate... Nobody knows who the number 2 swimmer on the US Olympic Swim Team is. Nobody cares. If you aren't Michael Phelps, you might as well not even bother showing up.

Notes: Received a text from FormerLesbian today. Not sure how to respond. Going out with TheWriter tonight. Should be fun. She explained to me the other day why Swift deleted me as a friend on facebook. Makes sense. Actually, TheWriter said to me on the phone that if I wanted to go after Swift, she had no problem with it. I didn't know how to respond.

Hey Jealousy

On Friday night, FarFarAway texted me a number of times wanting to hang out. It was at this precise moment that I realized I have zero interest in her. My roommates all think she is very pretty. I think she is very pretty. But she isn't for me. Nevertheless, I met up with FarFarAway, TheCaptain, Tweak, Sugarloaf, an old guy friend Barrel, and a new friend; I am going to nickname her HappyEnding. HappyEnding is one of FarFarAway's good friends. As is typical, there were five guys in that hottub and three girls. Honestly though, it was a lot of fun. It was mostly just us guys talking and having a blast.

On Saturday, GetErDone, LittleBrother, and my cousin RunsWithScissors met up with BFF and some of her friends at a piano bar. BFF brought along one cute friend Bynes. I met Bynes several years ago at a party with BFF. She has definitely gotten prettier.

On Sunday, in Sunday School, I sat in front of a couple of cute girls. They weren't in my ward; they were ward hopping. I talked to them a little but the one I thought was cutest spent most of the time texting on her phone. She had blue eyelashes. Sometimes when a girl has blue eyelashes, it just looks funny. Other times, it makes a girl look so pretty. I couldn't stop staring at her eyes.

That night at Ward Prayer, I met this girl Cooch. I don't think I have ever seen Cooch before but she is my type. I mean, I don't really have a type but a tall slender blonde girl with her complexion comes pretty darn close. I talked to Cooch for just a little bit. She graduated from high school in 09. I talked about her with my roommate Steve-O last night. I was complaining about how I must be screwed up cause I always fall for really young girls. Steve-O was of the opinion that it was just years of evolution shaping what I found attractive. Healthy looking young women are more likely to reproduce healthy offspring, at least from a genetic standpoint. It made me feel a little less frustrated. I am just doing what my DNA tells me to do. Anyway, I became very jealous of whatever guy gets to date her. There are guys out there who date girls like that all the time. Why can't I be one of those guys? Who are they jealous of? While blog surfing, I came upon a blog of a gorgeous blonde girl who dreams of being a writer. I am very jealous of whatever guy gets to go on a date with her. She doesn't seem mean in her posts. I wonder if she is mean?

A new year

So New Years Eve has come and gone. Anyone who knows me knows that NYE is basically my least favorite holiday of the whole year. I haven't had a good NYE since I was 16 and had my second kiss with high school girlfriend (HSGF). I haven't had a great NYE ever. So I approached this NYE with realistically low expectations. Sugarloaf, TheCaptain and I headed to a holiday party hosted by Tweak and FarFarAway. Tweak and FarFarAway aren't dating but they probably should be. I met Tweak years ago at University and met FarFarAway through Tweak. In a text inviting me to the party, FarFarAway told me she expected a NYE kiss from me and I jokingly agreed.

The party started out pretty lame. Lots of dudes, very few ladies, and a group of married or engaged couples. There were a couple of really pretty girls that stopped by but they didn't really stay long enough to chat with any of us. Throughout the night FarFarAway was hitting on me. I think FarFarAway is a very pretty girl but I am just not interested in her like that. She has made it obvious that she wants a relationship that will lead to marriage. While I think dating FarFarAway would be fun for a bit, I really don't see her as a potential wife. Plus, FarFarAway was dumped recently by a mutual friend. This rightfully put her into the "don't touch" category.

I talked to a couple of cute girls with zero dating potential (i.e., lived out of state, interested in another guy there, not attractive, engaged) then found Sugarloaf and TheCaptain hitting on this girl Cougarette who teaches dance at an elementary school. She was there with a date but Sugarloaf managed to get her number with a sly trick. I hope he takes her out. Cougarette has the potential to have bunches of really cute friends that she could set me up with.

When the clock struck midnight and the ball dropped, I decided to kiss FarFarAway. She was just standing there looking around and so I walked over and planted one on her. I don't think she was expecting it. I don't think it was a dishonest kiss. It was short and closed mouth. The party was pretty much over so we took off.

On Saturday, GetErDone set me up on a blind date with LittleDebbie. LittleDebbie reminds me so much of a girl that one of my friends married. I didn't like either of them very much. I wasn't really attracted to LittleDebbie and her personality kinda irked me. The night was mostly uneventful. However, while hanging out at LittleDebbie's apartment, her very cute (and very snobby roommate) came home. Harassing the roommate was the highlight of my evening.

Side notes: Saw SouthernBelle at church on Sunday but didn't say hi. She has graduated from hanging out with the super nerdy girls in the ward to hanging out with some of the pretty cool girls. My interest in her has waned. I am very open right now to being set up on blind dates. Please find me a cute girl that isn't too snobby.

A blind date

On Friday night, Sugarloaf (one of my really good friends) and I headed to this pool party. As is typical at most mormon parties, roughly 2 guys showed up for every girl. I know that girls complain sometime about not meeting guys, but I think it is totally their fault. After all, basically every party or group event that I attend is at least 2 guys for every girl. To talk to a girl, you have to interrupt the two guys that are already talking to her. The system is so diluted with guys that even some of the mormon aristocracy wander around aimlessly without girls. Sugarloaf and I tried talking to a few girls but with no luck. I played foosball for a few minutes with a girl I didn't find at all attractive and then we left.

Saturday, littlebrother and his friend GetErDone were hanging out at my house. GetErDone and littlebrother had dates for the night planned. GetErDone decided he wanted to set me up and he began calling girl after girl in search of a date for me. I think he must have called four or five girls before he got in touch with BananaRepublic (hereinafter "Banana"). Banana manages a store and is 29 and quite spunky. We ate dinner at CPK. It was quite fun. After dinner, we went to my house to play Nerts. Banana and I dominated the other teams.

Things I like about Banana: Very spunky, cute, intelligent (has a degree), gets excited about life, asks questions

Things I don't like about banana: Basically nothing. There were no red flags on the first date. Still, I just wasn't that excited about the date afterward. When my brother asked me if I was going to take her out again, I said "maybe." As my Realtor will attest, when I say maybe about something, it means no.

On Sunday, I went to church and saw SouthernBelle. I didn't really talk to her but she smiled at me. I think I am pretty much done with that pipe dream. I saw her again at ward prayer that night. We talked for a second and she gave me a look like maybe she expected me to talk to her more. I guess when she canceled our date and said to our mutual friend that I was too old, it sorta made me decide to back off. I am still very interested in going out with her again but I doubt I will ask her out again. There was one cute girl at ward prayer named Surfer. I talked with her for a few minutes but was only borderline interested in asking her out. Lorelei and I went to a dessert party on Sunday night. None of the mormon aristocracy showed up. I probably should have been in my element but I actually felt more uncomfortable at this party. There were two girls at the whole party that I was mildly attracted to. I didn't talk to either.

Side notes: I still haven't talked to Swift. I kinda really want to take her out right now. TheWriter and I are nowhere near a relationship but I do think it would hurt her feelings. I feel like even inviting Swift over to hang out with me and my friends would be a violation of some sort of trust. At church on Sunday, this kid who wants to go to law school and be a patent attorney told me he had two girls he wanted to set me up with that I met at ward prayer that he knows. I just can't remember his name.

Ex Post Facto

I had my first online dating experience on Friday night. It was actually pretty fun. We met at this little french bakery downtown. I immediately recognized her from the photos online. Her face was maybe a little chubbier than I would have liked but she looked pretty good. We had dessert there and then went back to my house to meet up with my friends Sugarloaf and Foot. They seemed awfully excited to double with me on that night. Looking back, I think they just wanted to be there for the online dating experience. We went to a haunted house. Remember the glory days when you were little and haunted houses were SO scary? Well, I do. I hated them. But now, they aren't really scary at all and I kinda wish they were. There were a couple scary moments and Nomad and I had a lot of fun. She definitely got scared and had to hold on to me.

After the haunted house, we went back to my house and just hung out. Nomad and I ended up on the couch in my front room. We may or may not have kissed. I know I know, criticize me for it. I suppose I deserve it. If you know me well enough, though, you will know that I really only kiss the girls on a first date that I feel lukewarm about. If its hot or cold, I abstain. But, the thing is, I wonder if maybe kissing some of the girls that I liked early on might have helped my situation. Like with HelloNurse the previous weekend. I probably could have kissed her. I know she liked me. I know she had fun. I am guessing that what happened is she got home feeling very confused and then talked to this other guy she was dating and decided to back off with me. Maybe kissing me would have messed with her mind a little and caused her to want to go out with me. Maybe not, but at least I would have gotten to kiss her. I have been thinking about HelloNurse today. I even looked her up on the facebook. She is very pretty. One of my friends (TheCaptain) was very mean to me when I told him the story about HelloNurse. He was like "read your blog, it's full of stories of you liking any girl you meet that is cute" and maybe that is true. I sure don't feel like it is true. I mean, I go out with lots of girls. I meet lots of girls. I know lots of girls. I like a relative few of them. Still, I kinda wish something had gone somewhere with HelloNurse. Nomad and I are going to hang out/go out tomorrow night. Is it a waste of time if I only feel lukewarm about her right now? My feeling is that it isn't because if I really didn't want to see her, I wouldn't schedule time to see her.

I have been texting the online girl TheWriter today. Personality wise, I just click with her so well. And in some of her pictures, she is very very pretty. But in some of them, she just isn't. I mean, nobody takes a good picture every time. But hers are about half and half. I would say more than half the pictures taken of me look like I look on a regular basis. So, it makes me a bit nervous.

Dating is a drag

On Friday, I received a call from this girl HelloNurse that I had shown some interest in a few weeks ago. She was with a boy then and I told her to let me know when she was done with him and maybe we could go out. HelloNurse was calling to see if I would like to go on a date with her on Saturday night. I already had a date for Saturday night with House, so I suggested we go out on Tuesday (today) which she accepted. Then, later that evening, my friend Sugarloaf and the girl he is dating Foot called and suggested I find a date and double with them. So, I called up HelloNurse and she said she would like to go. She drove down to my house which is about 40 minutes from where she lives.

With my friends, we first went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. Not my favorite but they do make a decent piece of cake. The line there was 40 minutes, which is not at all unusual. I will never understand the obsession people have with that place. If you like the cheesecake so much, just go in and buy a slice of cheesecake. The food is very average yet overpriced and the service isn't exactly fantastic. While waiting, we went looking for pumpkins at the grocery store. HelloNurse and I each picked out a nice sized pumpkin for carving. HelloNurse and I also had the chance to play a prank on my friend's date. Dinner went well and I started feeling pretty comfortable around HelloNurse. Some of my friends don't think she is cute, but I do. She is definitely within my dating realm.

We went back to my house and carved the pumpkins. It was a lot of fun. Realistically, just about anything is fun with the right people and just about anything is not fun with the wrong people. So, for that night, carving pumpkins was fun. Then, we rented Drag Me to Hell and watched it. Kind of a funny horror movie, which I wasn't expecting. Overall, I wasn't a huge fan. But, I did get plenty of cuddle time with HelloNurse. I don't cuddle with girls I am not interested in. That's a rule. I think lots of girls do cuddle with guys they aren't interested in, which definitely confuses me. Nevertheless, I felt really good about the date with HelloNurse. We agreed to go out again on Tuesday (tonight).

On Saturday, I had my date with House. We went to the football game with my parents. They lost, badly, but it was still fun. I really enjoy talking with House on a variety of topics. She is very intelligent, has an excellent job, and is well traveled. Plus, my parents love her. I think they might actually be willing to give me a larger piece of the inheritance if I were to marry House. We went to dinner after and the conversation was great. There is never a dull or quiet moment with because she is so spunky. Still, I am just not interested in her that way. It would sure make my life simpler if I were.

Last night, I texted HelloNurse to confirm our date for tonight. She called me right after and said "Before you drive up to see me and spend money on me, I feel like I should let you know where I stand, cause I don't know where you stand. Basically, I see you and I as just friends, and I would love to hang out with you as just friends tomorrow if you still want." I didn't know how to respond so I was just like "umm, ok, lets hang out tomorrow" and got off the phone with her. I took a minute to regroup and then wrote her a text saying "Hey i thought about it more and decided that i dont need any more friends in my life. I had a lot of fun with you on friday and i know you have (expletive removed) going on in your life and you are moving to (location) but if you arent willing to give me a chance then i probably shouldnt waste time driving up there. thanks for having the guts to tell me. Let me know if you change your mind." One of my friends said that I should keep asking her out, so she knows I am available. I am very resistant to that idea right now. I don't want to spend time and money taking girls out on dates when there is zero chance of anything happening. I know that lots of people had already made up their mind about a person but kept going out with them anyway and ended up falling in love (my sister is a great example of this) but that is the exception and not the rule. HelloNurse responded with "Yeah i definitely understand that. Im sorry. I will let you know if anything changes :) ill see ya around" which is basically what I expected. I am sure it is the other guy that is in the picture that she was with a few weeks ago. I got along with the guy but I know he is no catch.

Side note: I think I am just about ready to take a girl out from the online dating site. I have been messaging a few girls but I guess paying $15 a month to just message girls is kind of a waste.