Is that a hairless cat?

I was supposed to go to dinner with Simpson the other night. But when I texted her, she told me she had forgotten and that she had some car problems that needed taken care of. I know it sounds dumb but I was kinda bugged at Simpson about it. So I haven't contacted her since.

Last night I went to a condo with Sugarloaf, Barrel, TheCaptain, Robin (The Boy Wonder), Giselle, this girl BigMac and this girl LuvMeLongTime. LuvMeLongTime and Giselle are really good friends. I really have no interest in dating any of these girls. It's amazing how hard it is to get girls to come along on things with us. I know Sugarloaf called like 5 girls and none came. TheCaptain brought along all three (all of whom I had met before). Everytime I hear girls complain about how they are never hanging out with guys, I have a hard time believing it. Either there are tons more guys than girls around or huge groups of girls are going around with a small number of guys. Either way, it pisses me off.

While I was in law school, a coworker showed me a picture of his sister-in-law named Sphynx. She was really cute. I suggested he set me up with her and he told me that I had no idea what I was getting into. Sphynx bred/raised hairless cats. She didn't have one or two or three or four. She had 17! Still, she looked cute enough and I thought to myself "How bad can a bunch of cats be?" On our first date, Sphynx seemed fairly normal, albeit a little shy. The date was fairly short and I thought I would ask her out again. As we were driving after dinner, Sphynx told me that a year earlier, she had been stealing oxycontin from the pharmacy where she worked and had been sent to rehab. I know it's a good idea to get things like that out in the open fairly early on, but conversations about recent drug abuse on a second date is not recommended.

Still, the date went well enough. We watched a movie at her house (well, her parent's house where she lived) and things appeared to be going well. We started making out and I kid you not, a hairless cat jumped up on me. Google "hairless cat" if you wanna see what these creepy things look like.

A few days later, Sphynx called me and asked me to go to a baby blessing of her sister's baby (my coworker's kid). I agreed. We sat down in sacrament meeting but Sphynx felt like confessing. So, as the sacrament was being passed, Sphynx told me how many tattoos she had (three). Then she told me how many piercings she had once had (9, including one in an unmentionable location). About a week later, Sphynx called me and invited me to a family dinner at her house. I accepted. I showed up and Sphynx acted particularly weird. She seriously asked me if I was ok like 7 times during dinner. She seemed high. My coworker told me that before I had arrived, she was freaking out and needed help doing her hair. She had just come from work at the pharmacy (yeah, she was able to continue working there) and he thought she had taken something there. She told me she had only taken a Xanax but it seemed like she had taken more.

After dinner, she was really rude to her mom (we were in her parent's house and her mom was watching tv; Sphynx told her mom that she was being rude for not leaving the room to let us watch what we wanted to watch (even though the basketball game on that her mom was watching was plenty interesting to me)). At this point, I decided I had just about enough with Sphynx. She got a text from some guy and she told me about how he wanted to date her but that she didn't want to date him, she wanted to date me! It really freaked me out. I said something about wanting to leave and she kinda grabbed onto me and was like "No, you can't leave yet." Not wanting to be rude, I stayed for over an hour after that. I was really put off by the whole thing though.

A week or two later, I decided that the only solution was for me to "break-up" with Spynx, even though we had never really gotten together. Whenever I meet a girl that is a bit crazy, I usually gauge her craziness on a "how many hairless cats" scale. Sphynx was a 17 hairless cats amount of crazy.

Other notes: Pulse is now officially in a relationship on facebook.

Paris holds the key

Littlebrother told me last night that he doesn't think I should ask Giselle out again. He talked to her friend and apparently she isn't really interested in me. Not exactly unexpected. Well, a little unexpected. This brings my dating pool down to exactly zero girls. Am I just dating the wrong girls? Meeting the wrong girls? Pursuing the wrong girls? Or is it me? Should I try online dating? What sites? Or should I just take a long break from dating?

The fair is veritable smorgasboard

Catcher texted me on Friday to say that she couldn't go out with me. She said she had been looking forward to it all week but that a family situation had just escalated. It seemed legit. She suggested we reschedule for this week. I must admit, it was a bit of a letdown. I really was looking forward to running around the fair with Catcher, laughing and playing and just having tons of fun. The plan is to go to the fair with Catcher on Wednesday. Every time something gets pushed back though, the likelihood of it happening decreases. So, I am not near as excited about this Wednesday as I was for last Friday.

On Saturday, I took Giselle out on our second date. Because Catcher canceled on the fair on Friday night, I decided to take Giselle to the fair. We struggled finding a decent parking spot and ended up parking pretty far away. Giselle harassed me quite a bit about that. It was all in good fun but Giselle definitely harasses me a lot. We kinda parked in the ghetto. Not that the state fairpark has any areas around it that are not ghetto. One of the first things we did was go and see the animals. Giselle wasn't too excited to see them. She kinda thought they smelled. It was disheartening because I had planned on going with Catcher and I thought her and I were going to be running around having lots of fun. Giselle just isn't as much fun. She just didn't have an opinion on much. I would be like "what do you want to see next?" and she would say "I don't care." It got old.

Eventually, we walked through the games section. There was a carnie with darts and balloons and some bears that seemed like they might be cool for me to win for Giselle. So, I ask the carnie how much it will cost to win that bear. He hands me a dart and kinda gives me the signal like he is going to hook me up. I asked if I needed to pay him and he said no. Strange. So, I throw the dart. He says something about 2 times 2 is four, hands me another dart. I throw it, he tells me 2 times 4 is 8. Ok, great, the guy can do math. But what does it have to do with anything? Hands me another dart and says 2 times 8 is 16. I throw it and he says "done, you won the bear. That will be $16." Wait, what? $16 for the bear? Yeah, I just got hosed by a carnie. I decided that paying him $16 for a cheap bear was a better idea than getting stabbed in the back by an angry carnie so I handed over the cash. Giselle told me that I probably shouldn't be in the games section anymore.

We went to get a deep fried snickers bar. While waiting in line, some girl walks up behind me and grabs my hip. I turned expecting to see an old friend. Instead, it was an unfamiliar face. She kinda just stood there next to me, glaring at Giselle. Didn't say anything. Stood there for at least a minute, kinda close to me, like her shoulder was touching me and then just walked away. Really weird.

The date was going fairly well so I decided to take Giselle back to my house to watch a movie. We watched Just Friends. Not a super good movie. But, we cuddled on the couch. Definitely felt more of a connection with Giselle after cuddling with her. Took her home. Decided to not try and kiss her. Overall, the date was ok. Nothing great but nothing horrible. I think I will take her out again within a week or so.

Other notes: Went to FHE tonight and met a girl, 18 which I know is way young. But very cute.

Now I know how Jimmy Buffett feels

Sorry for the long delay. I had a date last week with a new girl named Giselle. I met Giselle about a month ago through some mutual friends. We went to this chinese restaurant. It was my birthday. Somehow, during dinner, it came up that I get really grossed out by lip gloss. Pretty sure it was littlebrother who brought it up. Giselle had just put on a bunch of lip gloss. She turned to me and put her face close to mine and said "I really want to kiss you right now." Then, to make matters worse, littlebrother's date, the girl he has been pursuing for months and months, says "If you kiss Giselle, I will kiss your brother." Littlebrother looked at me with hopeful eyes. This was his chance and all he needed was for his older brother to kiss a girl...

I couldn't do it. I thought about it. I seriously considered it. But all that chinese food in my stomach? Just thinking about it made my stomach turn a little. It wouldn't be so great for me to throw up on my birthday on a first date after I kissed her! I think she felt rejected. Littlebrother was kinda mad.

We took the girls to a park and played our guitars for them. I did an improv song about Giselle that was pretty funny. Then, as littlebrother and his date were walking away, I moved in to kiss Giselle. She totally denied me! She said "Now you know how it feels to be rejected." Not one to be outdone, I went in a second time and stole a kiss from her. It was kinda awkward but I thought it was pretty funny. She definitely is showing some interest in me. Our next date is this saturday. I haven't planned anything yet.

Last Saturday I went on a date with Jasmine. I was excited. We were gonna go canoeing. The weather wasn't looking great but we took off anyway to where the canoes are stored in my hometown. Things started out bad and basically never improved. When I knocked on her door, she was on the phone. She let me in but kept talking to some guy who was in Germany. We finally got in my car to go but she was still on the phone!

She got off the phone as we entered the canyon. Jasmine had made us a picnic for lunch. On the way up, she got hungry. So, we stopped at my parents' house and ate our lunch. It was quite good. I was feeling better cause Jasmine had gone out of her way to plan our lunch. I thought maybe that was a sign of interest. The weather looked even worse so we decided to take a drive. Driving through the small town I grew up in, we passed a young (mid 20's) girl hitchhiking in the rain. We decided to pick her up. Her name was Lisa. We drove Lisa 40 miles up into the mountains. It was actually really fun having her in the car. At one point she said "You guys are a really cute couple." I thought that was cute until Jasmine responded "We aren't a couple. We might be someday." Weird. Granted, if her mom had said something like that, we would tell her. But the hitchhiker? The one we were about to drop off in the middle of the mountains to never see again?

I suggested we get out of the car and walk around a bit but Jasmine didn't want to. This was my first real chance to see what kind of person Jasmine is. Basically, she does only what she wants to do and expects things to always go her way. It was very frustrating. We were driving back down and she said she was getting tired. I suggested we go take a nap at my parents' house but she insisted that her dog had been alone for 5 hours and she needed to go take care of him. I like animals. I grew up on a farm. Dogs are not babies! It was so annoying. So, I took her home and then said that I needed to go home. I went home and watched some football. An hour or two later, I decided to give Jasmine another chance. I texted her suggesting we go have dinner or go watch a movie. She responded that she was cooking a pizza and I could come over and eat some of that and we could watch a movie. Good sign right? Wrong. I got there and we ate the pizza. Her dog was there, demanding most of her attention. Then, we went to watch a movie. However, there was nothing Jasmine wanted to watch. So, she told me I could choose between some cake baking challenge show and a home redecorating show. Basically, she was going to control whatever we watched. I didn't want to watch either show. They were lame. Plus, I wanted to cuddle with her. Instead, she cuddled with her stupid dog. I haven't talked to her since. I have thought about it but I just can't get over how badly our last date went.

Tomorrow is the big night. My first date with Catcher. I texted her the other night and she said she would love to go to the fair with me. I am hoping that there will be a serious connection. Kinda worried though because she is such a pretty girl. I am sure she has tons of options. Abercrombie and Fitch models hitting on her all the time. I am sure it will go better than my last date with Jasmine though.