Cabins

Lolita and I hung out last week. I always have fun with Lolita. And there is a part of me that wouldn't mind dating her again. Besides being very pretty, Lolita is just so chill about life. She has this relaxed attitude that reminds me of a surfer bum or some kind of hippie. But as littlebrother and Lolita got to talking about some of her wilder experiences, I got uncomfortable. Lolita doesn't really believe in Mormonism and I think that is a major stopping point. Not that Lolita is jumping up and down to date me, just that if she were, I am not sure how we would handle the whole religion issue.

On Friday night, I decided to go up to the cabin with littlebrother, GetErDone, Samsonite and a large group of people. It was kinda last minute but when I suggested it to Samsonite, she seemed down. It ended up being a lot of fun. GetErDone brought a bunch of cute girls and I think everybody had fun playing games and just hanging out. Samsonite was pretty quiet most of the night. I don't think she was uncomfortable around all the people, I think Samsonite is just more awkward in social settings like that. I sort of naturally became the entertainer, which I really enjoy. One of the girls GetErDone brought is named Spark. Spark was much more comfortable at the cabin than Samsonite and there was a part of me that wanted to flirt with her. Spark also seemed to show some interest in me. It could have just been me imagining things.

On Monday, after waiting for a week from Flora and not hearing anything, I sent her a text. She responded with a promise to email me back within 24 hours. 24 hours later, Flora called to say she hadn't been able to write the email yet and asked for another 24 hours. It was really fun to talk to Flora on the phone. She seemed much more interested in me than during our previous conversations. I think the email helped. I am very much toying with the idea of traveling out of state to take Flora out on a date. Flora emailed me today and it was fun and interesting. I thought about immediately writing her back but decided to wait a day or two, just to make it more anticipated.

Tosh texted me today and wanted to hang out tonight and watch the basketball game. Our teams are playing each other... Since we are both huge fans, it should be interesting.

2012 - More of the same?

On Thursday, Sugarloaf texted me Flora's number. I guess his roommate wasn't that interested in her so he called her up and asked if he could give her number to me. So I gave Flora a call while I was waiting for Lolita to come over and hang out (Lolita and I are trying to play through Donkey Kong Country on my Super Nintendo). I was hoping Flora was still in town and we could arrange a date. Flora answered and we talked for a couple of minutes. It was a bit awkward. She had already left the state and spent all day driving. And she had arrived at her destination (a friend's parents' house) and was about to get into the shower. So we agreed to talk on the phone the next day.

One of the first questions Flora asked me when we talked the next day was "So, did I say something brilliant that made you want my number or have you just run out of girls in your home state to date?" Kind of funny but also awkward and very direct. I tried explaining it to Flora but I think it just came across as fuzz. Either way, the phone conversation was fun. Yesterday I sent Flora an email that I thought was funny and personal. She hasn't yet responded.

Hanging out with Lolita was a blast. As we were playing Donkey Kong Country, Lolita got a craving for Trix so we hopped in my car and hit up the grocery store. Cold cereal at midnight is such an amazing treat.

For New Years Eve, I went to a club with littlebrother and GetErDone. I have extremely low expectations for New Years Eve, since it is my least favorite holiday. I think my problem with it is that most people are drinking and hooking up. New Years Eve as a holiday does not really make sense for Mormons. GetErDone and littlebrother met a couple of cougars at the club. I kinda tried to mingle but I just felt so out of place there. In the end, it wasn't a bad New Years Eve. It's just that unless I spend the evening with someone and fall in love with them, New Years Eve is really just another night. The only difference is the additional expectations heaped on me to have more fun than any other night.

On Sunday, Samsonite texted me to apologize for being AWOL. A part of me wanted to not respond to her texts and give her some of her own medicine. But another part of me really wants to spend more time with her. That part of me won out. I accepted her apology and told her it was ok. I am not sure if her and I will end up spending any more time together. But if we don't, anything else would be like shooting someone in the back as they walk away. And if we do hang out again, I am not sure how giving her the cold shoulder is going to benefit me. Either way, I still definitely have some feelings for Samsonite and want to see her again.

A Spoonful of Sugar

On Friday night, I had a date with Popcorn. I first met Popcorn six years ago when she was dating my roommate HandsomeRob. Back then, she was a 19 year old hair dresser that I didn't consider to be very smart. But we maintained our friendship over the years. Initially I texted her to see if she would go to the football game with me and the parentals on Saturday but Popcorn was working that night. She said she was free on Friday though, so I took it.

I was thinking about what to do on my date with Popcorn and I decided that I really wanted to go see this musical. So I told Popcorn to dress up. We ended up having a really fun time. Popcorn is fairly easy to talk to and looked great in her dress. I went home from the date feeling pretty hopeful about things (which hasn't happened in a long time).

On Saturday, I ended up being set up on a blind date with this girl Scooby by GetErDone. I don't really like to take dates with the parentals, especially blind dates but they had invited me to the football game and seemed intent that I take a date. Scooby ended up being really cool. She handled the conversation with my parents well. And didn't mind that I was a bit hyperactive at the football game either. But, Scooby is a couple years older than me. Honestly, I have a hard time with that. And while Scooby was definitely more attractive in person than in her pictures, I didn't feel that attracted to her during the date. Right now, I am kind of on the fence about taking her out again. Suggestions?

On Sunday, I had dinner with a family in my ward. They have this really cute daughter Foxtrot that is engaged. Her best friend Fanta was also there along with her boyfriend. Both girls are super cute. After dinner, we were outside playing a game. It was my turn to move and as I jumped, I uncontrollably farted. Everybody heard it and laughed. I was super embarrassed. I pretended to not care but am pretty sure I will forever be that guy that farted during the game. Still, being there made me feel like there are cute girls out there that aren't total snobs. I just don't know how to meet them.

It's Fair Season

On Thursday, I had lunch with my grandma and littlebrother. Littlebrother had to take off early and as my grandma and I were leaving the restaurant, someone yelled my name. I turned to see Jewel walking towards us. I gave my grandma a hug and sent her on her way and walked over to chat with Jewel. It was pretty short, I made a couple of jokes, tried to make myself appear aloof and then said I had to get back to work. I could see in Jewel's eyes that she was hoping for more. And I was right. Two minutes later, I got a phone call from Jewel asking me if I would like to meet her for lunch on Friday. I politely declined, citing lunch plans with my parents. I could definitely hear bits of regret in Jewel's voice but she admitted nothing.

On Friday night, GetErDone called me up and said he wanted to set me up with this girl Figure for Saturday. I tentatively agreed and then a few minutes later, Figure called me using GetErDone's phone. She asked if I had something to ask her. It was a little weird but I liked her being forward about it. So I asked her out for Saturday. When I picked her up, the first thing Figure told me was about her strange diet. Figure is training to be in a figure competition (sort of like a female bodybuilding competition sans the huge muscles). As is typical, I had tons of questions to ask her about it. Why did she do it? What did it entail? What could she win? Did she have a six pack? (yes she did)

The problem is, it got our date started on completely the wrong foot. I don't know if Figure normally would have asked lots of questions but I think my questions sent her into pageant mode. Pageant mode is when a girl only answers the questions that you ask rather than attempts to have a conversation with you. So as the questions about figure competitions began to run dry, so did our conversation. I wanted to ask about other things but I felt pigeonholed into that one topic. Figure tried to ask me some questions but those conversations never got off the ground. In the end, I learned more about figure competitions than I thought I would ever learn. But very little about Figure as a person. And Figure learned very little about me as a person either (other than my ability to interview pageant girls).

At one point, I was struggling so much that I started trying to figure out what guys Figure was attracted to. She started telling me that she was super picky and she wasn't sure that any of the guys there were her type. I felt like the person asking the questions of Miss South Carolina why the majority of US children cannot find the United States on a map that got more than they bargained for. "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some... people out there in our nation don't have maps." And I also learned that fairs are only as fun as the person you are there with.

Every day we get a little bit stronger

On Saturday, GetErDone texted me and suggested I take this girl Oprah (not the real Oprah!) on a date and meet him at this country concert. I guess GetErDone had been set up on a blind date with Oprah a few weeks earlier and being the good friend that he is, he passed his leftover on to me. Prior to calling Oprah, I checked out some of her stuff from her TV show. She seemed fun and funny and she was pretty cute in a lot of the stuff. When someone is on TV regularly (as in everyday), there is plenty to discover about them online. So I called her and set up the date.

I picked her up and thought she was very pretty. However, she wore this purple lipstick that would have embarrassed Ronald McDonald on a date. Even though we got along fairly well (I didn't feel like there was any chemistry though), how in the world could I get over a first impression like that? I am attracted to clean, natural looking faces. Even people that are freezing to death don't have lips that color purple. Nevertheless, I had fun. I just don't think I will take her out again.

On Sunday, KJo and her little sister littleKJo invited me over for dinner. It ended up being a lot of fun. I flirted with littleKJo and even though she has kinda been dating this guy, I decided to ask her on a date. I asked her to attend a baseball game with me on Wednesday night. We had a blast. I approached the date more like I normally approach dates: not really caring and just trying to have fun. We talked about the boy she was kinda dating and I told her a little about Jewel. She thinks that Jewel has treated me horribly. I kinda agree.

Jewel had told me she would call me on Tuesday. On Tuesday, I received a text from her saying she had just been to the dentist and asking if she could call me on Wednesday morning. Umm, ok. On Wednesday morning, I woke up feeling super anxious (as any thoughts related to Jewel seem to do to me now). Jewel texted me asking what I was doing for lunch on Thursday. No mention was made of the phone call that had apparently now been canceled. I texted her back and said that I already had lunch plans for Thursday.

I really am not even sure why I should see Jewel again, I don't see any positive potential. Sample conversation likely to occur if/when we see each other next:

Me: Hey Jewel.

Jewel: Oh my gosh, I hate my intern so much, he is so stupid, but I am moving to California soon, I am sooo excited, like, it is gonna be great, I won't have to live here anymore.

Me: Uhh, gee thanks, that makes me feel great.

Jewel: California is just so much better than here. I can go to the beach and swim in the ocean. The ocean is like my favorite thing ever. And swim in my mom's pool. And ride my bike every day. I am so excited.

Me: Wow, ok, why did we meet again (while stabbing my fork into my eye)?

Jewel: Because we are friends. You need to just chill out. Stop worrying so much. My roommate would love to go on a date with you. Oh my gosh, California.... California... California...

You get the gist. So I told her that I had plans. Then she asked what I was doing on Monday. Here's the thing, when we were dating, she would ask what I was doing this weekend, and I would tell her some of the stuff I had planned and then she would say "oh, this is what I am doing." I used to think maybe she was trying to invite me to do something but now, I have no idea. Her asking what I am doing on Monday in no way guarantees that a) she will not suddenly have something better come up that requires moving activities with me to another day or b) she will just not feel like doing anything. Yeah, I am pretty much fed up with Jewel. I still love her but since yesterday, I have decided that I would only take her back on several conditions (assuming she doesn't move to California, since there are no jobs there).

1. No more talking about how great California is. To be honest, I would move to California to be with Jewel. But right now, we don't live in California and she needs to get over it.

2. We need to do stuff together at least 3 times per week. No exceptions.

3. We have to start kissing again immediately.

4. If she goes to California for the weekend, she has to invite me to come along.

5. We are steady dating, no dates with other people.

6. I need regular words of affirmation from her. Maybe her love language is shown via quality time spent but mine requires words of affirmation.

Since zero of the above 6 things are likely to change, the odds of Jewel and I dating are pretty much zero. It's sad but perhaps I can move on and find someone else.

Am I just playing House?

I have been busy with the holidays and haven't felt like posting. Let's see if I can remember. My date with Lebron was rather dull. In fact, it was just plain boring. We drove to a Christmas party hosted by GetErDone and Lebron had a hard time giving us anything to talk about. I was in a bit of a fiesty mood so I wanted to talk about her opinions on politics or schools or something interesting. They were all dead ends. I tried talking about school vouchers cause she is a teacher and she basically said she didn't have an opinion on the subject. So I tried talking about movies. Turns out Lebron doesn't really like movies that much. I dropped her off early and headed home. I received a text from TAB saying her plans had canceled so I invited her over to watch a Christmas movie. While TAB was driving over to my house, I received a call from MrShit. It was fun talking to her but it's so hard when she is too far away to ever see.

That night, TAB and I cuddled and I felt myself kind of leaning towards liking her. The thing is, House is better than TAB in pretty much every category. Ugh, that sounds awful. TAB is a really cool girl but she is definitely a bit spacey at times. I think part of the problem is that I am driven to like girls that are a bit crazy. House came over one night and we exchanged Christmas gifts. It was short lived cause I was sick. I really do feel bad that I am not falling in love with House. In fact, I am kinda pissed off at myself.

Over New Years, Dee and Dum and RunsWithScissors and I headed to Las Vegas. We met up with Dee's friend Unwritten for dinner. I immediately kinda liked Unwritten. She is really tall and very pretty. Plus, she is super chill. Not a bad girl at all. But just more relaxed in social situations. As we were eating dinner, I came up with an idea for challenges that each of us was to try and complete before the evening was over. It was a fun idea and everyone helped come up with ideas. My challenge was to propose to Unwritten 11 times in front of large groups of people. So I bought a cheap ring in a gift shop and got to it. You would not believe the kind of reaction you get when you propose to a girl in front of a huge crowd on New Years Eve. People started cheering. They gave me high fives. They wanted to see the ring. On the fourth (and final time), people came running at us and started running in circles around us. Unwritten was a good sport but four times was enough for both of us. Unwritten is still getting over an exboyfriend and is pretty much undateable right now.

On New Years Day, we met up with Unwritten and her brother for dinner. Our waitress Dispatch was very pretty. She reminded me of WTEG a lot. Not fat but not skinny. More curvy. And she just seemed really fun. It was a bit depressing cause she flirted with Unwritten's brother a bunch. What was I gonna do anyway? Ask for her number? I doubt it.

House sent me a message on New Years Day in distress. She was trying to figure out why we weren't spending much time together. I think House has been a really good sport through all of this. I really don't feel like I have been stringing House along although I know a lot of people would argue otherwise. I wrote her an email today explaining how much I liked her but how I wasn't falling in love with her and I wasn't sure if it was because we weren't right for each other or because I have defense mechanisms set up. To be honest, I am really scared to see how she might reply. Of course it is selfish to want to keep House around without my being ready to commit to her. I don't like myself for even considering it. But should I really drop the girl that is probably the best fitted to me because I am unsure about myself? If I were sure that House wasn't the one, I would have dropped her a long time ago.

Singing waiters

Friday night was my second date with Spinster. I was a little nervous and thought it might affect the way I acted around her. As soon as I picked her up though, my nervousness went out the window. I just feel so calm around her. And funny. We went and saw this incredibly corny play and loved it. We joked with each other throughout and made fun of some the more awful parts of the play. Then we grabbed dinner. Because it was late, we were the only ones in the restaurant. Our waiter either a) had a thing for Spinster or b) was just really friendly. He told us all about olives from some show he watched on TV. I decided there were two ways to handle a situation like that. One is to get all jealous and close off. We all know how well that works. The other is to just go with it. So I asked Spinster if she thought we could get our waiter to sing for us. I offered him a little money but he declined. It was one of those italian places where you can write on the tablecloth with crayons. I took a $20 bill out of my wallet and wrote a note on the table saying it was his if he sang for the lady. He really didn't want to sing but called over another waiter with almost no singing ability. This guy was anxious to make a quick $20 and he proceeded to sing and dance to "Hey now, you're a rockstar" by Smash Mouth. It was pretty awesome.

I think it helped lighten the mood. As we were driving back to Spinster's place, she was talking about how she wanted a new car. I decided it would be fun to take a drive (with her driving) in my car. I was a little worried about her getting a ticket so I only pushed her to get up to 100 mph (if it were daytime, I surely would have encouraged her to approach 120 mph). Spinster loved it. I think the date had been going well before but definitely improved. I dropped her off, got a quick hug and headed home. Spinster sent me a text 25 minutes later saying "Thanks again! That was fun!" And it was fun.

I called her last night but she didn't answer. She texted me back saying she was watching a movie with her sister but suggested we talk on the phone tonight. She also texted GetErDone and said that she was interested in dating me. I know it isn't much but it made me feel good. I am thinking of asking her out on a third date for this Saturday.

Hey Jealousy

On Friday night, FarFarAway texted me a number of times wanting to hang out. It was at this precise moment that I realized I have zero interest in her. My roommates all think she is very pretty. I think she is very pretty. But she isn't for me. Nevertheless, I met up with FarFarAway, TheCaptain, Tweak, Sugarloaf, an old guy friend Barrel, and a new friend; I am going to nickname her HappyEnding. HappyEnding is one of FarFarAway's good friends. As is typical, there were five guys in that hottub and three girls. Honestly though, it was a lot of fun. It was mostly just us guys talking and having a blast.

On Saturday, GetErDone, LittleBrother, and my cousin RunsWithScissors met up with BFF and some of her friends at a piano bar. BFF brought along one cute friend Bynes. I met Bynes several years ago at a party with BFF. She has definitely gotten prettier.

On Sunday, in Sunday School, I sat in front of a couple of cute girls. They weren't in my ward; they were ward hopping. I talked to them a little but the one I thought was cutest spent most of the time texting on her phone. She had blue eyelashes. Sometimes when a girl has blue eyelashes, it just looks funny. Other times, it makes a girl look so pretty. I couldn't stop staring at her eyes.

That night at Ward Prayer, I met this girl Cooch. I don't think I have ever seen Cooch before but she is my type. I mean, I don't really have a type but a tall slender blonde girl with her complexion comes pretty darn close. I talked to Cooch for just a little bit. She graduated from high school in 09. I talked about her with my roommate Steve-O last night. I was complaining about how I must be screwed up cause I always fall for really young girls. Steve-O was of the opinion that it was just years of evolution shaping what I found attractive. Healthy looking young women are more likely to reproduce healthy offspring, at least from a genetic standpoint. It made me feel a little less frustrated. I am just doing what my DNA tells me to do. Anyway, I became very jealous of whatever guy gets to date her. There are guys out there who date girls like that all the time. Why can't I be one of those guys? Who are they jealous of? While blog surfing, I came upon a blog of a gorgeous blonde girl who dreams of being a writer. I am very jealous of whatever guy gets to go on a date with her. She doesn't seem mean in her posts. I wonder if she is mean?

A new year

So New Years Eve has come and gone. Anyone who knows me knows that NYE is basically my least favorite holiday of the whole year. I haven't had a good NYE since I was 16 and had my second kiss with high school girlfriend (HSGF). I haven't had a great NYE ever. So I approached this NYE with realistically low expectations. Sugarloaf, TheCaptain and I headed to a holiday party hosted by Tweak and FarFarAway. Tweak and FarFarAway aren't dating but they probably should be. I met Tweak years ago at University and met FarFarAway through Tweak. In a text inviting me to the party, FarFarAway told me she expected a NYE kiss from me and I jokingly agreed.

The party started out pretty lame. Lots of dudes, very few ladies, and a group of married or engaged couples. There were a couple of really pretty girls that stopped by but they didn't really stay long enough to chat with any of us. Throughout the night FarFarAway was hitting on me. I think FarFarAway is a very pretty girl but I am just not interested in her like that. She has made it obvious that she wants a relationship that will lead to marriage. While I think dating FarFarAway would be fun for a bit, I really don't see her as a potential wife. Plus, FarFarAway was dumped recently by a mutual friend. This rightfully put her into the "don't touch" category.

I talked to a couple of cute girls with zero dating potential (i.e., lived out of state, interested in another guy there, not attractive, engaged) then found Sugarloaf and TheCaptain hitting on this girl Cougarette who teaches dance at an elementary school. She was there with a date but Sugarloaf managed to get her number with a sly trick. I hope he takes her out. Cougarette has the potential to have bunches of really cute friends that she could set me up with.

When the clock struck midnight and the ball dropped, I decided to kiss FarFarAway. She was just standing there looking around and so I walked over and planted one on her. I don't think she was expecting it. I don't think it was a dishonest kiss. It was short and closed mouth. The party was pretty much over so we took off.

On Saturday, GetErDone set me up on a blind date with LittleDebbie. LittleDebbie reminds me so much of a girl that one of my friends married. I didn't like either of them very much. I wasn't really attracted to LittleDebbie and her personality kinda irked me. The night was mostly uneventful. However, while hanging out at LittleDebbie's apartment, her very cute (and very snobby roommate) came home. Harassing the roommate was the highlight of my evening.

Side notes: Saw SouthernBelle at church on Sunday but didn't say hi. She has graduated from hanging out with the super nerdy girls in the ward to hanging out with some of the pretty cool girls. My interest in her has waned. I am very open right now to being set up on blind dates. Please find me a cute girl that isn't too snobby.

A blind date

On Friday night, Sugarloaf (one of my really good friends) and I headed to this pool party. As is typical at most mormon parties, roughly 2 guys showed up for every girl. I know that girls complain sometime about not meeting guys, but I think it is totally their fault. After all, basically every party or group event that I attend is at least 2 guys for every girl. To talk to a girl, you have to interrupt the two guys that are already talking to her. The system is so diluted with guys that even some of the mormon aristocracy wander around aimlessly without girls. Sugarloaf and I tried talking to a few girls but with no luck. I played foosball for a few minutes with a girl I didn't find at all attractive and then we left.

Saturday, littlebrother and his friend GetErDone were hanging out at my house. GetErDone and littlebrother had dates for the night planned. GetErDone decided he wanted to set me up and he began calling girl after girl in search of a date for me. I think he must have called four or five girls before he got in touch with BananaRepublic (hereinafter "Banana"). Banana manages a store and is 29 and quite spunky. We ate dinner at CPK. It was quite fun. After dinner, we went to my house to play Nerts. Banana and I dominated the other teams.

Things I like about Banana: Very spunky, cute, intelligent (has a degree), gets excited about life, asks questions

Things I don't like about banana: Basically nothing. There were no red flags on the first date. Still, I just wasn't that excited about the date afterward. When my brother asked me if I was going to take her out again, I said "maybe." As my Realtor will attest, when I say maybe about something, it means no.

On Sunday, I went to church and saw SouthernBelle. I didn't really talk to her but she smiled at me. I think I am pretty much done with that pipe dream. I saw her again at ward prayer that night. We talked for a second and she gave me a look like maybe she expected me to talk to her more. I guess when she canceled our date and said to our mutual friend that I was too old, it sorta made me decide to back off. I am still very interested in going out with her again but I doubt I will ask her out again. There was one cute girl at ward prayer named Surfer. I talked with her for a few minutes but was only borderline interested in asking her out. Lorelei and I went to a dessert party on Sunday night. None of the mormon aristocracy showed up. I probably should have been in my element but I actually felt more uncomfortable at this party. There were two girls at the whole party that I was mildly attracted to. I didn't talk to either.

Side notes: I still haven't talked to Swift. I kinda really want to take her out right now. TheWriter and I are nowhere near a relationship but I do think it would hurt her feelings. I feel like even inviting Swift over to hang out with me and my friends would be a violation of some sort of trust. At church on Sunday, this kid who wants to go to law school and be a patent attorney told me he had two girls he wanted to set me up with that I met at ward prayer that he knows. I just can't remember his name.