One year of blogging/sabotaging my marriage prospects

I first decided to write a dating blog after several conversations with the infamous Holly Lynn. Her blog "if i were really skinny..." was the inspiration for my blog, even though our blogs have almost nothing in common (hers is about fashion and pop culture and diet coke - mine is about my dating escapades). I was there when Holly Lynn got a boyfriend (well, not physically there, man that would have been awkward - just heard about it from her soon after the fact) and I was there when I found out Holly Lynn got engaged (I wasn't there when she got married, even though I had promised her a quilt with something about her husband's nickname "de la rocca - conservative" embroidered on it, sorry about that Holly Lynn, I am not sure you really would want a quilt like that anyway, if you were just going to throw it away, it doesn't really make sense for me to have it made, does it?). Since then, Holly's blog posts have become fewer and farther apart.

After I began blogging, my good friend Lorelei from law school read my blog and decided to start her own dating blog "Date Lorelei" which was a much better put-together blog than this one. Now that Lorelei has become engaged, she has stopped posting on her blog. Although I certainly wish her well, when a friend that is a girl gets married, the dynamic of the friendship changes. I just don't feel as comfortable chatting with married women. So I feel as if I am losing Lorelei as a friend in much the same way I lost Holly Lynn as a friend and the way I lost Chanel many years ago as a friend. Another one of my good friends from law school got engaged a few weeks ago. It has me reflecting quite a bit on my position in life and dating.

Maybe I subconsciously don't want to get married. When my friends have gotten married, most of them have deserted me. I will admit that I have a lot of bad feelings towards marriage. Besides the fact that many (if not most, depending on who you ask) married couples are unhappy, there is also the huge chance that the marriage will not be successful (no matter what you do, you cannot control the actions of another person and marriage always involves two people (well, at least two)). Could I be sabotaging potential relationships to ensure that I keep my single life? After all, every year that I remain single, I get to live how I want, buy what I want and do what I want. Being married would be a major life change for me. I would have to develop a budget (which I make fun of my friend Crack for nearly every day). I would have to go to bed at a regular time every day. I would have to spend my saturdays helping in-laws that I can't stand move from one crappy apartment to another cause they are too cheap to hire someone. I would have to learn to accept the kooky holiday traditions of my in-laws. Maybe I am not ready for marriage.

Valentines Day and hopeless romantics

On Saturday night, Lorelei and I went to dinner at this Asian place. She was so tired that I think she nearly fell asleep at dinner. Then we watched the office at my place. Not exactly a romantic valentines day date but it was still fun to just hang out. There is a lot of pressure on all of us to have some sort of romantic encounter on or around valentines day and I think it is just bogus. Valentines day used to be cool. It used to be about really good candy (not those crappy chalk hearts) and teenage mutant ninja turtle valentines to all my friends. One year, and I am not kidding, my mom gave us the movie Beetlejuice for valentines day. Now THAT is cool.

It's not that I don't want to do something romantic on valentines day. It's just that the opportunity so rarely presents itself. I have only had romance on three valentines days in my life. When I was 16, I went to walmart with my buddies and bought HSGF a little gold ring with a heart on it. I also got her some flowers. Four years ago, I was dating Brooktynn on valentines day. We tried to go to a restaurant but everything was full. So we got pizza from little caesers and watched the Notebook. Two years ago, I had just begun dating a girl named Emo. I think Valentines day was actually the second night we hung out. It was the night of our first kiss. She had to work but we met up afterwards and "watched" a movie.

Someday, when I am married, I am going to make every valentines day count. For starters, valentines day requires a nice dinner at a nice restaurant. I think this is a given. The place should require you to at least dress up a little. Second, I fully intend to buy my wife flowers on valentines day. I think flowers are a waste of money but they smell nice and look pretty and as long as I can afford it, I am gonna at least buy her flowers on that day. Third, if she wants, I will write and sing a song to my wife every year about how I love her more this year than the year before. Cute eh?

A blind date

On Friday night, Sugarloaf (one of my really good friends) and I headed to this pool party. As is typical at most mormon parties, roughly 2 guys showed up for every girl. I know that girls complain sometime about not meeting guys, but I think it is totally their fault. After all, basically every party or group event that I attend is at least 2 guys for every girl. To talk to a girl, you have to interrupt the two guys that are already talking to her. The system is so diluted with guys that even some of the mormon aristocracy wander around aimlessly without girls. Sugarloaf and I tried talking to a few girls but with no luck. I played foosball for a few minutes with a girl I didn't find at all attractive and then we left.

Saturday, littlebrother and his friend GetErDone were hanging out at my house. GetErDone and littlebrother had dates for the night planned. GetErDone decided he wanted to set me up and he began calling girl after girl in search of a date for me. I think he must have called four or five girls before he got in touch with BananaRepublic (hereinafter "Banana"). Banana manages a store and is 29 and quite spunky. We ate dinner at CPK. It was quite fun. After dinner, we went to my house to play Nerts. Banana and I dominated the other teams.

Things I like about Banana: Very spunky, cute, intelligent (has a degree), gets excited about life, asks questions

Things I don't like about banana: Basically nothing. There were no red flags on the first date. Still, I just wasn't that excited about the date afterward. When my brother asked me if I was going to take her out again, I said "maybe." As my Realtor will attest, when I say maybe about something, it means no.

On Sunday, I went to church and saw SouthernBelle. I didn't really talk to her but she smiled at me. I think I am pretty much done with that pipe dream. I saw her again at ward prayer that night. We talked for a second and she gave me a look like maybe she expected me to talk to her more. I guess when she canceled our date and said to our mutual friend that I was too old, it sorta made me decide to back off. I am still very interested in going out with her again but I doubt I will ask her out again. There was one cute girl at ward prayer named Surfer. I talked with her for a few minutes but was only borderline interested in asking her out. Lorelei and I went to a dessert party on Sunday night. None of the mormon aristocracy showed up. I probably should have been in my element but I actually felt more uncomfortable at this party. There were two girls at the whole party that I was mildly attracted to. I didn't talk to either.

Side notes: I still haven't talked to Swift. I kinda really want to take her out right now. TheWriter and I are nowhere near a relationship but I do think it would hurt her feelings. I feel like even inviting Swift over to hang out with me and my friends would be a violation of some sort of trust. At church on Sunday, this kid who wants to go to law school and be a patent attorney told me he had two girls he wanted to set me up with that I met at ward prayer that he knows. I just can't remember his name.

Non-date dating

I go on a fair amount of non-date dates. In a non-date date, it's almost like a date except without the romantic interest. In other words, a non-date date is hanging out with a friend that is a girl where everything else sort of moves like a date. Such non-date dates include hanging out with BFF, hanging out with Lorelei, and last night's hangout with KJo. KJo and I met in law school and became fast friends, although I can tell at times that she must restrain herself from criticizing my haphazard life. It's only natural, KJo is a grounded girl that is very conservative while I am not. I tend to be too spontaneous and headstrong. But that doesn't stop us from being friends. I should mention that none of the girls I go on non-date dates with would consider them dates. The dates typically include the three P's of dating as instructed by mormon church leaders: Paired off, Planned for, and Paid for. However, they never include the less mentioned fourth P: Put out.

It's just me hanging out with a good friend doing something fun. A lot of the time, it just makes sense for me to pay, since I am the one who initiated whatever hairbrained scheme activity that we are participating in. I hope my non-date dating friends aren't upset if I write about some of my adventures with them.

Last night, KJo and I went to TJ-Maxx. TJ-Maxx is like the lower middle class version of the DI (which is like a low class version of a department store). They sell underwear, perfume, rugs, dishes, chocolate, lamps, etc. It's basically all stuff that didn't sell at some other store and is now greatly discounted. One time, I found a zebra skin dog pillow, a cheetah skin dog pillow and a giraffe skin dog pillow there. I purchased all three, even though I own no dogs.

While walking out of TJ-Maxx, KJo and I saw a flier on the ground for an open house at Dream Dinners. Neither of us knew exactly what Dream Dinners even did, so we ventured in to have a look see. The place was hilarious. Basically, you show up, they have all the groceries purchased, you cut stuff up to prepare these meals, freeze them, and then cook them at home. You can also pay an additional $25 to have them do all that work for you. I ended up spending $250. The idea is that these meals are healthy, tasty and easy to cook. I could almost see KJo's eyes rolling as I signed up for this service. KJo is an excellent cook and just finds my inabilities rather humorous. So, in the future, look for me to be cooking some fabulous meals for friends, family members, roommates and perhaps even dates.

Honestly though, I think cooking dinner for a date is a bad idea. It's like being the nice guy. Girls would swear up and down that they want a nice guy but the truth of the matter is, girls have NO IDEA what they want! Why? It's probably the same reason I am really attracted to slutty girls. Evolution dictates that slutty girls are the most likely candidate for a guy to mate with. Evolution also dictates that douche bag guys are the most likely candidate for a girl to mate with.