The Next Round

So I went on my third date with BFD on Friday night. Sometimes it is just so awkward being around her. I am starting to wonder if maybe she isn't trying to make things awkward. Maybe she really is that awkward. I think the conversation with BFD is lacking a good percentage of the time. I just don't know what to talk about with her.

After seeing the comedian, we went to this dessert place that I really like and then watched "Can't Hardly Wait" at my house. In case you didn't know, I derived the name Tripp Hazard partially from this movie. There is a scene where Tripp McNeely (Jerry O'Connell) comes over to the high school party. He graduated a year ago. He was the big man on campus in high school and he "can't even get digits as a freshman." He talks about how he tried to get back with his high school girlfriend but "she was all comfortable with some senior. He's a pre-med... they're all pre-meds." When I first saw this movie, I felt like Tripp McNeely and I had the same problem but on opposite spectrums. He was on one side (the former high school jock) looking across at the smart guys thinking they were getting all the girls and I was on the other side (the former high school nerd) looking across at all the athletes thinking they were getting all the girls. It just clicked for me.

I ended up kissing BFD on the couch while watching the movie. Tripp McNeely would have been so proud. Me? Not so much. I really don't think I could marry BFD. It would just be too much of a compromise. Still, kissing BFD was pretty nice. She is decent kisser (she ought to be with all her experience). I am not ready to throw in the towel with her yet but I am not super excited about it either.

On Saturday, Charlie sent me a text canceling cause her babysitter couldn't come and she needed to show her house to a buyer. To be honest, I was a little relieved. I was kinda dreading a third date with Charlie. Our phone conversation had been so lacking that I wasn't sure I could handle all the work it would take to go on a full date with her. I texted back saying it was no big deal. I think we can safely say that I won't be asking Charlie out on any more dates.

On Sunday, Pulse came over to watch a movie. The conversation with Pulse is almost never lacking. We just click. The more time I spend with her, the more I like her even though we hardly see eye to eye on anything. Pulse is pretty cool though.

Today while eating lunch, I ran into Sidehug. I went on a few dates with Sidehug but she was kinda awkward and at the end of one of the dates, she gave me a side hug which sorta made me think she had zero interest. Sidehug has put on a little weight but she still looked pretty good. I think maybe I will try and ask her out. I sent her a message on the facebook today.

Third dates for everyone!

My date with BFD was pretty fun. I decided to hold her hand during the movie. Can I just say that watching a 3D movie is absolute awfulness. Please remind me in the future any time I think "I should watch a movie in 3D." My love of movies ends where 3D movies begin.

We grabbed dinner after the movie and had an interesting chat. The topic of kissing came up. BFD told me she was a lip slut. Then she told me that I should guess how many boys she had kissed. I guessed 74. I was way low. She said she has kissed approximately 290 different boys. 290!!! I laughed so hard. I was only off by about 220 in my guessing. There were a couple of awkward moments at dinner. Sometimes I just don't know what to talk about with BFD. The conversation doesn't always just flow. Some of the time I think she is just trying to be awkward but some of the time, I think she really is just awkward. Maybe so many guys have kissed her because the conversation got awkward and they decided they would get rid of the awkardness by kissing. I know I have done that in the past.

I asked BFD to go see a comedian with me for this Friday. It should be fun but if some of the awkwardness doesn't wear off, I am not sure how many dates I can go on with her. After dinner, we were walking and BFD kissed me on the cheek. Before my mission, I went out on a few dates with a girl we'll call Jonesy. I really liked Jonesy. After seeing a movie, I walked her to her door. She said how much fun she had and then kissed me on the cheek. I had made out with several girls before that but nothing compared to the euphoria I experienced from that kiss on the cheek. I drove home in a haze. I am not sure I could have passed a sobriety test because I was drunk from that kiss. Nothing ever happened with Jonesy. She made it almost impossible to go on another date until a few weeks before my mission, when she told me she just wasn't looking for a relationship.

BFD's kiss didn't send me into a state of Euphoria. I could have kissed BFD for sure but I didn't. I am not even sure I want to. Five years ago, I would have just made out with BFD and never called her again. But now, with everyone telling me to keep dating girls that I don't immediately click with, I am going on a third date with her. It just doesn't feel like progress.

Last night I randomly decided to call Charlie. Talk about another awkward conversation. Charlie is a total talker and yet our phone call felt like I was running uphill in the snow where your feet sink in with every step. I really don't feel like I have anything in common with Charlie. I tried so hard to find some common ground last night. Still, in my new resolution to step it up and go out with girls I don't like, I asked Charlie out for a third date. I am not particularly looking forward to it. So, Friday, third date with BFD. Saturday, third date with Charlie.

I talked to Pulse a bit yesterday. I have to admit that my interest in Pulse has waned a little more. I never felt super interested in her. I definitely like spending time with her but I am not at all driven to enter a relationship with her. It is yet to be determined when we will next hang out. I chatted with FormerLesbian the other day. She seemed pretty down on herself. I felt really bad. I think she really just needs some good friends. We agreed to watch a movie sometime and eat girl scout cookies.

"I could get married tomorrow if I just lowered my standards."

On Friday, I had my much anticipated second date with Charlie. I met up with Sugarloaf and his date at a local Thai restaurant. The food was delicious but the conversation lulled a couple of times with her. I know that I should like Charlie. She is pretty. However, every guy has different tastes and mine is just not that partial to her. She runs marathons. She is touchy feely. She really likes board games. We ended up at Sugarloaf's place playing an Olympic Wii game. Charlie wasn't very good at video games but at least she was willing to try. At the end of the date, I hugged her and said "see you soon."

Honestly, I am really trying to like Charlie. What I mean is that I am giving her more chances than I normally would. I want to like her. It would make life so much easier. Of course there would be difficulties with having an "instant" family but that is not what worries me. What worries me is that I am not gaga for her. I tried to explain this to Littlebrother yesterday at church. Suprisingly, Littlebrother was extremely critical of me. "What the HELL are you talking about?" was his response. I think this was because I used the word "love" instead of "gaga." But, if you have read this blog, you know that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Some of the girls I have really liked were not girls my friends found attractive at all. I can't explain it, sometimes I am attracted to a girl and sometimes I am not. Sometimes I feel a connection with a girl and sometimes I do not.

Once Littlebrother got mad at me, it just really pissed me off. Why should I have to explain to him whether I like a girl or not? I think I was a little mad at Littlebrother because he had a blind date on Saturday night over and I thought the girl was very pretty (but also very self centered and immature). I know that Littlebrother doesn't have any interest in her other than just a hook-up and that just pisses me off more. He has some really great options that I don't have and he chooses to just piss them away.

On Saturday, I met up with Pulse for a late breakfast. I decided that I am not really attracted to Pulse. But I am still drawn to her. Part of the problem with Pulse is that she has really blond hairs on her face. I know girls probably don't think that guys notice this type of thing, but let me tell you, WE DO! And once we have seen a girl with some facial hair, it's hard to get rid of that image. So even if the facial scruff is never seen again, well, you only get one chance to make a first impression. I think I will hang out with Pulse again but I am just vocalizing that I am not interested in her for a relationship. I am sure you are saying that instead of wasting my time with another friend that is a girl, I should be hanging out with potential relationship girls. But there aren't any.

On a side note, have you read the Mormon Bachelor Pad blog? There was a post today about a 27 year old mormon bachelor that was picking a fight with them. I found it hilarious. For as much crap as Calvin and Jake get, they sure seem to have a lot of followers and a lot of people wanting to comment on their posts. I was a bit annoyed with all the girls who commented saying "this guy is 27 and mormon and single so he obviously is a loser." It reminded me of a comment my ex girlfriend from law school once said. "I could get married tomorrow if I just lowered my standards a little." I guess the same could be said for all of us. What a wench she was.

Bean there, done that

The date with Bean last night was fun. Bean is a way cool girl. She even put on lip gloss and I didn't mind too much (but I certainly didn't kiss her!). I took her back to her car after the game and that was it. I think there is a fairly high likelihood of another date with Bean. However, I don't really see Bean as marriage potential for me.

I received a text from Charlie today. I think her and I will go on a second date even though I don't feel tons of romance right now. My family and friends have really been encouraging me to pursue for a little longer to see if there is chemistry. I guess they think that I don't know what chemistry feels like. I disagree. At what point do people decide that falling in love is secondary to marrying someone that they can have a successful relationship with? To be honest, I think that lots of people marry someone that they aren't in love with. This is why they cheat, why they treat each other poorly and why they get divorced. I am more scared of marrying someone I am not in love with than living the rest of my life single. But will that change? At some point, the prospect of sex and companionship must outweigh the loneliness and despair enough for me to "settle" with someone I don't love. How do I avoid that?

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

Charlie is quite the talker. As we were sitting and eating dinner, I mentioned something about divorce and she started talking about how hard it was for her sister to be divorced. It was a strange answer so I dug a little deeper. I think all I asked was something like "so you are divorced right?" You know how you ask a question without realizing that you bit off more than you can chew? Like a few years ago when I was on a blind date that my brother in law set me up with. The conversation was lagging and so I thought I would fish a little. "How many boys have you kissed?" I asked. "I don't want to talk about it" was her reply. "Aww, come on, it's not a big deal" I fished a little more. "Well, OK, umm, a couple hundred..." Ok, not exactly the answer I was expecting. We talked about it for a minute and then, not knowing when to stop, I decided to fish a little more. "How many girls have you kissed?" I asked. "I don't want to talk about it" was her reply. Somehow, I ended up convincing this girl to tell me about several lesbian experiences that she'd had, while we were sitting in the car with my sister and brother in law. My sister's eyes went wide.

Such was the case with my date with Charlie. Her response was "Oh, I have never been married." Well, ok, thats cool. Perhaps we should leave it at that, right? No, I decided to ask for more details. Forty five minutes later, after having heard all the details of exactly how her daughter was conceived, I wondered if maybe I had learned my lesson.

Other than the rather interesting conversation topic, the date with Charlie was fun. She is intelligent and caring. Very physical when she talks with you (always putting her hand on my leg or my arm). In a lot of ways, dating Charlie would be very ideal in my life. For one, she comes from money and seems to be doing very well for herself. I certainly don't need someone with money. But, I thought that her and I could do very well together. Charlie is attractive but I am not that attracted to her. I mean, she is pretty enough that I would kiss her but I really wasn't that interested in kissing her after the first date. Still, the thing is, I have been on a lot of dates. I kinda know what it feels like to be very excited after a first date. I was not this way with Charlie. I was calm and ok. I think I will take her on a second date but there just isn't this huge excitement for me about it.

Single Mom Date or The Problem with Movies on a Date

Tonight I have my first real date with a single mom. It's a blind date. I have no idea what she looks like so I am struggling with a nickname for her. How about Charlie (as in Ray Charles, cause he was blind! ha ha ha... ok I thought it was funny). Steve-O is setting me up with Charlie even though he has never met her. Apparently she is in the same ward as the older sister of one of Steve-O's good friends that met me once. Well, a few years ago I went on a sort-of date with my good friend Rockabilly and she had two kids then (she still has two kids, I believe). Actually, Rockabilly and I have been on quite a few sort-of dates. We have gone to several concerts together, eaten out many a time, and fussed about our love lives. I keep trying to encourage her to read this blog but having two children, a job, and a boyfriend (sort-of) that is just starting his own law firm doesn't leave much time for reading blogs...

Anyway, so I am a bit nervous. What questions can I ask? What questions can I not ask? I mean, is it ok for me to ask why she got divorced? Her kid's name? How long she has been divorced? Where the father is in the whole scheme of things? Also, I don't know what sort of activity to plan with a single mom? I know Charlie really enjoys bowling but I think she might be tons better at it than me and I know she goes bowling a lot so it might not be all that fun for her. To be honest, I would like to just have dinner with her and if it seems like it is going well, maybe go see a movie. There are a bunch of movies in theaters that I haven't seen yet and I never have anyone to go see them with me.

The problem is, there is a lot of pressure on a guy to come up with something creative for dates. Especially first dates. With a girlfriend, it's way easy to settle on a movie. With a first date, I am expected to plan something that is new, interesting, fun, doable by most people, not overly expensive, original, and memorable. Otherwise, she will immediately associate me with the words boring, lame, unoriginal, unfun (probably not a world, but maybe in Newspeak from 1984 it would be), and just not date worthy. Besides all that, I may not even be attracted to her. I know zero about her other than the fact that someone else knocked her up (so she was desirable at one time to at least one person...). I don't know what color her hair is, what her body style is like, if she has straight teeth, etc. I would hate to waste too much creativity on a girl that I am not going to take out again.

Side notes: I called Spinster two nights ago and left a message telling her to call me back. I haven't received anything back. Because of a few incidents from the past, I am really hestitant to try much harder to call her. How often can I try and call a girl? According to GetErDone, she wants to go out with me. But why wouldn't she return my phone call after two days? I mean, it only takes like 1 second to send a text saying "hey, got your call, super busy, call next week?"