Samsonite's Exit

I hung out with Samsonite on Sunday. I thought things were going pretty well. So last night, I texted her to ask when we could see each other again. Much to my surprise, I received a long text from Samsonite explaining why she didn't think we should see each other anymore. I was bugged. In my response, I tried to explain why I thought she was being foolish and what I was willing to do to try and make this work. Her response makes my blood boil.

"Listen, I don't want this to end ugly with bad feelings. I care about you as a friend, Tripp. I just don't want to date or do what we are doing anymore so, therefore, don't think it's probably a great idea if we hang out."

I don't want to respond. I don't want to be Samsonite's friend. Anytime someone is not willing to put in the work required to make a relationship work, I already pretty much know what kind of friend they are going to be. Crappy. I guess it's kind of interesting that I expect more out of my friends than I do out of the girls I date.

Somebody that I used to know

I have been out with Samsonite a few times over the last couple of weeks. I have developed a couple of concerns about Samsonite. First, I am not sure what kind of mother she would make. I actually haven't seen her interact with any kids. She has only 1 brother and he is close to her age (so no nieces and nephews). I know that Samsonite wants kids but I also know that she really enjoys having a career and would have a hard time sacrificing her career to raise a family. Second, i am not sure what kind of wife Samsonite would make. She never seems to cook and I am not sure about her homemaking skills. Also, Samsonite is sometimes a bit antisocial. She tends to hang back in groups.

Samsonite's sense of humor is much fouler than mine. She definitely prefers her comedy to be vulgar. It feels strange to me, since I have always been on the other side (where I am the one pushing the limits of those around me).

Last night, Samsonite and I were watching tv and the State of the Union address was on every channel. So I stopped to check it out for a bit. I find politics fascinating. And while I don't agree with President Obama on a lot of things, I definitely am interested in his opinions. Samsonite was immediately upset. She has some very strong views about Obama's policies and was quite vocal during his speech about how much she disagreed with what he said. It doesn't really matter to me whether the girl I am dating is politically conservative or liberal or even independent. I just was a bit surprised to find how unwilling Samsonite was to even consider some of Obama's opinions. It made me wonder if maybe Samsonite was a little bit closed-minded.

Flora never wrote me a second email. She texted me two days ago saying she guessed she wasn't very good at writing emails back. Then she went back to radio silence. That prospect seems to be dying.

Lolita and I have hung out a few times lately. In some ways, I think Lolita would like to hook up with me again. It's just things she has said. But then, she will tell me some story about a guy that she hooked up with and I wonder if I am reading her all wrong. For the time being, I am absolutely content with hanging out with Lolita without hooking up.

Cabins

Lolita and I hung out last week. I always have fun with Lolita. And there is a part of me that wouldn't mind dating her again. Besides being very pretty, Lolita is just so chill about life. She has this relaxed attitude that reminds me of a surfer bum or some kind of hippie. But as littlebrother and Lolita got to talking about some of her wilder experiences, I got uncomfortable. Lolita doesn't really believe in Mormonism and I think that is a major stopping point. Not that Lolita is jumping up and down to date me, just that if she were, I am not sure how we would handle the whole religion issue.

On Friday night, I decided to go up to the cabin with littlebrother, GetErDone, Samsonite and a large group of people. It was kinda last minute but when I suggested it to Samsonite, she seemed down. It ended up being a lot of fun. GetErDone brought a bunch of cute girls and I think everybody had fun playing games and just hanging out. Samsonite was pretty quiet most of the night. I don't think she was uncomfortable around all the people, I think Samsonite is just more awkward in social settings like that. I sort of naturally became the entertainer, which I really enjoy. One of the girls GetErDone brought is named Spark. Spark was much more comfortable at the cabin than Samsonite and there was a part of me that wanted to flirt with her. Spark also seemed to show some interest in me. It could have just been me imagining things.

On Monday, after waiting for a week from Flora and not hearing anything, I sent her a text. She responded with a promise to email me back within 24 hours. 24 hours later, Flora called to say she hadn't been able to write the email yet and asked for another 24 hours. It was really fun to talk to Flora on the phone. She seemed much more interested in me than during our previous conversations. I think the email helped. I am very much toying with the idea of traveling out of state to take Flora out on a date. Flora emailed me today and it was fun and interesting. I thought about immediately writing her back but decided to wait a day or two, just to make it more anticipated.

Tosh texted me today and wanted to hang out tonight and watch the basketball game. Our teams are playing each other... Since we are both huge fans, it should be interesting.

2012 - More of the same?

On Thursday, Sugarloaf texted me Flora's number. I guess his roommate wasn't that interested in her so he called her up and asked if he could give her number to me. So I gave Flora a call while I was waiting for Lolita to come over and hang out (Lolita and I are trying to play through Donkey Kong Country on my Super Nintendo). I was hoping Flora was still in town and we could arrange a date. Flora answered and we talked for a couple of minutes. It was a bit awkward. She had already left the state and spent all day driving. And she had arrived at her destination (a friend's parents' house) and was about to get into the shower. So we agreed to talk on the phone the next day.

One of the first questions Flora asked me when we talked the next day was "So, did I say something brilliant that made you want my number or have you just run out of girls in your home state to date?" Kind of funny but also awkward and very direct. I tried explaining it to Flora but I think it just came across as fuzz. Either way, the phone conversation was fun. Yesterday I sent Flora an email that I thought was funny and personal. She hasn't yet responded.

Hanging out with Lolita was a blast. As we were playing Donkey Kong Country, Lolita got a craving for Trix so we hopped in my car and hit up the grocery store. Cold cereal at midnight is such an amazing treat.

For New Years Eve, I went to a club with littlebrother and GetErDone. I have extremely low expectations for New Years Eve, since it is my least favorite holiday. I think my problem with it is that most people are drinking and hooking up. New Years Eve as a holiday does not really make sense for Mormons. GetErDone and littlebrother met a couple of cougars at the club. I kinda tried to mingle but I just felt so out of place there. In the end, it wasn't a bad New Years Eve. It's just that unless I spend the evening with someone and fall in love with them, New Years Eve is really just another night. The only difference is the additional expectations heaped on me to have more fun than any other night.

On Sunday, Samsonite texted me to apologize for being AWOL. A part of me wanted to not respond to her texts and give her some of her own medicine. But another part of me really wants to spend more time with her. That part of me won out. I accepted her apology and told her it was ok. I am not sure if her and I will end up spending any more time together. But if we don't, anything else would be like shooting someone in the back as they walk away. And if we do hang out again, I am not sure how giving her the cold shoulder is going to benefit me. Either way, I still definitely have some feelings for Samsonite and want to see her again.

Gingerbread Houses and Mission Impossible

Last week, Sugarloaf called me up to invite me to a gingerbread house making party. I had nothing else going on so I agreed to go. TheCaptain and my old friend Fireman were also there. Initially, Sugarloaf called me because there was going to be a shortage of guys there. Instead, Sugarloaf had a date there and Fireman had a date there while TheCaptain and I were flying solo. And most of the people there were either married or engaged. So TheCaptain and I did what we do best: we screwed around. We built the worst gingerbread house in the history of gingerbread houses (no structural integrity, taller than the others using gummy bears and toothpicks, no Christmas theme). When they voted, ours received zero votes (because you couldn't vote for your own, what a dumb rule).

I was getting ready to go when Sugarloaf's roommate asked me a few legal questions. His date was named Flora. I thought Flora was cute but it wasn't until we started talking that I really felt like there could be a connection there. One of the first things I noticed was that Flora was excellent at conversation. Also, as she made a comment that only pertained to me, she looked at me and winked. I could have been seeing things. But I discovered that Flora lives in another state and this was a blind date with Sugarloaf's roommate. In other words, there was a chance. I asked Sugarloaf to get some information on Flora from his roommate so that possibly I could ask her out on a date. Unfortunately, Sugarloaf never got back to me.

On Friday night, we celebrated Cowboy's birthday. As we were leaving the movie theater, I noticed a guy with orange shoes waiting for someone. I thought nothing of it until we were driving out of the parking lot. There was Flora walking with orange shoes guy. They were on a date. This was both good and bad. Good because it meant Sugarloaf's roommate was nowhere near sealing the deal. Bad because guy with orange shoes could potentially be sealing the deal. Seriously, for the rest of my life I am going to have a hard time trusting anyone with orange shoes.

On Christmas day, Samsonite sent me a text asking how my Christmas was going. Initially, I had no intention of responding. But, I am a nice guy so I responded and we texted back and forth a bit. It was all pleasantries and no substance. That sort of texting really bothers me. I generally text with a purpose. After a few rounds of going nowhere, I grew tired of it and didn't text her back (her last text read something like "I did have a good Christmas! I am glad that you did too. :)" Don't even get me started on her misuse of exclamation points. And the smiley face at the end? It serves no purpose.

On Monday, Lolita called and suggested I go visit her older brother with her. Lolita's older brother and I have been friends since high school but we hadn't seen each other for a few years. We went over to his place and ended up having a blast. His wife came home and was like "Are you guys dating?" to which Lolita quickly replied "No, we are just friends." It was that funny kind of awkward that you kinda laugh at and cringe at simultaneously.

On Tuesday night, Samsonite texted me to ask if I had seen the new Mission Impossible movie because it was great. I replied that I had and I enjoyed it. Then... nothing. I guess I don't know what to expect but to get a random text like that with no follow up is so weird to me. Today I managed to find Flora on Facebook and I learned a couple of useful nuggets about her. I added her as a friend on facebook. My plan is to wait for her to accept my add and then send her a message saying that it was fun meeting her and suggesting we do something together some time. Too forward? Not forward enough? Too stalkerish? Not stalkerish enough?

Christmas Party

So Samsonite bailed on my work Christmas party. About the same time, I received a random phone call from Lolita. Lolita and I used to date several years ago and we have been friends ever since. Lolita had been dating a guy for the past two years and she told me they had broken up. While fretting over who to ask, Lolita kept coming up.

Background on Lolita: Lolita and I became fast friends while on a hiking trip that I attended with her older brother. A few nights into the trip, Lolita and I shared an unexpected kiss. We were both really attracted to each other but due to circumstance, a long term relationship was not possible. Still, I have always felt super comfortable with Lolita. So I called her up and asked her to go with me.

Lolita showed up looking fantastic. We headed off to the fancy restaurant. I knew Lolita could handle meeting all my coworkers and dealing with a long dinner party as my guest. And she did great. She didn't get jealous when I talked to my coworkers. She jumped in and agreed with me when I argued that adultery was considered less of a bad thing in this country than lying. It was good that Lolita was there because after the dinner, I felt super embarrassed that I had maybe spoken too loudly in front of the other attorneys or been obnoxious. I didn't have to worry because Lolita is not the kind of person that would ever judge me for that sort of behavior.

I didn't hear from Samsonite for over a week. I had a decision to make. Text/call her again and risk looking like the kind of guy that gets walked over or just let it die. I always lean a little more towards being the guy that gets walked over. So I sent her a text saying that even though she wasn't responding to my texts, I hoped things were going well for her and that I had fun when I was with her. She responded the next day with some bull excuse about how she had been so busy at work, she barely had time to breathe. At first, it seemed positive. I knew that she had been working 14 hour days and that she was under a lot of pressure. But then, I remembered that I had seen several facebook posts from her over the past week. And, she certainly didn't work on Sunday. So I decided to not text her back.

Spinning Wheels

On Friday, I had my second date with Tosh. We doubled with a couple in my ward. Tosh was pretty easy to talk to and seemed to have fun on the date. After dinner, we played a board game at my house. I learned on the date that Tosh is a huge sports fan. We actually had a very interesting conversation about our favorite sports teams. However, after the date, I haven't felt any interest in taking her out again. Perhaps it was the comments from the married couple that her and I just didn't seem to click. Or maybe it was just that while Tosh is cute, she isn't really what I want.

On Saturday, I ended up going over to Samsonite's house to watch a movie. We clicked a lot more than we had previously and ended up hanging out together until way late. 2:45 in the morning, to be more precise. We hung out again on Sunday night. I was feeling pretty good about things, so I asked her to my company Christmas party. She accepted and everything seemed good. Then last night, she texted and said her mom had given her a ticket to an event on the same night and she didn't feel like she could turn her mom down on them. I was extremely frustrated. First off, the event is not something cool. Second off, she had already made plans with me. Clearly I am not as high of a priority in her life as I thought I might be. Am I done with Samsonite because of this? Well, no. I still want to spend more time with her. But could something like that break a budding relationship? Absolutely. My interest in Samsonite has waned. And I find myself four days before the party without a date and not feeling like there is anyone I can ask.

Worst Date Ever (but not what you think) or An unexpected second date

On Thursday, I went on a first date with Tosh. I met Tosh at a party a few weeks ago. One of the things I can immediately tell while talking with Tosh is that she is a very intelligent person. The conversation flowed. After grabbing dinner, we decided to go see The Muppets Movie. I am still a bit on the fence about how attracted to Tosh I am. But we had fun and I am going to go out with her again this weekend.

On Friday, I had a blind date with Beaver (get your mind out of the gutter). My aunt set me up with Beaver. I was a bit hesitant, since I didn't feel like I really clicked with Beaver on the phone. When I picked her up, I thought she was better looking than in her photos. We grabbed some Indian food. There were a couple of moments where the conversation got out of hand, mostly because I was peppering Beaver with too many questions and I think Beaver started feeling like she was being interviewed. Still, dinner went well and we were both having fun. I didn't have anything else planned, so I suggested that we just go back to my house to see my Christmas tree. It wasn't a ploy to hook up, I just thought it was a simple activity that we could go do and then I could take her home.

As we were driving, I mentioned that I used to work at Walmart. Beaver went silent for a few seconds before asking "Did you used to hate country music?" "Umm, that's a really odd question, where did that come from?" I responded. "Just answer the question." "Yeah, I used to hate country music, I like it now, but growing up I didn't like it." So Beaver says to me "We have been out on a date before."

My first response was that no, we have not been out on a date. She must be confusing me with someone else. Then Beaver starts rattling off details about this date. None of them clicked with me. Finally she says that we had doubled with my roommate that was a cop. Gratefully, I explained to her that I had never had a roommate that was a cop and that she was just mistaken. Then she said he was a redhead... I got nervous. My redheaded roommate Bill was working as a prison guard while training to become a cop. But that was before he got married 8 1/2 years ago. Could I have possibly been on a date with Beaver 9 years ago and just forgotten about it? But I still wasn't convinced. So Beaver mentioned that I had put a gun in my mouth on the date (one time, a long time ago, as a joke, I remember putting my roommate's gun in my mouth). Then Beaver told me where she had used to leave and it all clicked for me. I remembered the date (although not all the details). It had been a blind date. While at dinner, I was frustrated with how uptight the girl was so I asked the girl if she ever wore a bikini. She looked at me and said "That is an inappropriate question and I am not going to answer it." And then she basically shut down. I should have taken her home right then. You can't recover from something like that. But no, in the wisdom of my youth, I kept trying. We finished dinner (FAIL), we went to the bowling alley (FAIL), we went back to my house to watch a movie (FAIL), I tried to cuddle with her (FAIL) and as I dropped her off, I shook her hand and said "Well, this was interesting" (FAIL). It wasn't a great date for me but as it turns out, it was Beaver's worst date ever.

So now, 9 years later, we are in my car. Beaver is laughing and I am awkwardly cringing at each detail from our first date. I apologized numerous times. And I did what I should have done 9 years ago: I took Beaver home. This time, I gave her a hug (and jokingly told her that this was interesting). She said that she looked forward to our next date in 9 years.

On Saturday, I hung out with Samsonite. We went to the mall to do some Christmas shopping. It was fun (I get along with Samsonite so much better when Gonzo is not around) but mostly uneventful. It's hard to see much of a future with the emotional damage that Samsonite has. But at least right now I have options.

Swallowing my pride or being swallowed by pride

After a little more thought, I decided maybe I would give Samsonite another chance. So I asked her out again. Her response, via text, was that she needed to be honest and that she wasn't ready to start dating. This was on Monday. I was extremely frustrated so I called up three new girls and scheduled dates for Thursday night, Friday night and potentially Saturday night (one of the girls might be going out of town). What have I got to lose, right?

Yesterday, I received a random text from Jewel. After three months of no contact, other than a random call which I didn't answer a few weeks ago, Jewel wanted to know how I was and if we could go to lunch. I rolled my eyes but agreed. So Jewel and I had lunch today. I didn't expect any substance in our conversation and none was given. We spent most of the lunch arguing about whether to end the war on drugs. And then lunch was over and she dropped me off back at my office. I didn't give her a hug. We didn't talk about why we broke up. We didn't talk about dating. She sent me a text after saying she had fun and that she really hopes we can be friends. Friends? Really?

Last night, Samsonite texted me to suggest we go shopping together. Shopping? Really? Am I just a really good friend to these girls? Are they hoping to keep me around while they get their crap together or are they just latching on to me like barnacles? I guess I can't complain too much, since I agreed to have lunch with Jewel and I agreed to go shopping (for Christmas) with Samsonite this weekend. It has me thinking about littlebrother. He has some of the flakiest friends. It's not just a coincidence, his easy going attitude attracts flaky people. Perhaps it's my easy going attitude that attracts flaky girls. But these girls aren't flaky about showing up to stuff when they say they will; they are flaky about committing to anything. I suppose it's my curse for not dating House.

Unwanted Drama

So last night, Samsonite and I agreed to get together. Her really good friend Gonzo was in town so I thought it might be me playing third wheel for most of the night. I was wrong. It was Samsonite that played third wheel to Gonzo and I. From the moment we met in the restaurant, Gonzo stole the show. She started asking me question after question and nitpicking at my answers. She talked and talked and talked and talked. There were times where I felt like I had no part in the conversation. Attempting to keep up with the intensity of Gonzo, I shifted gears. I almost made an inappropriate joke but stopped myself. However, I let it slip out that I had almost said something inappropriate. Both Samsonite and Gonzo were like "no, come on, it's just us, there is nothing you could say that would be inappropriate." So, I told them what it was. Talk about vicious. They attacked like a couple of starving wolves attacking a deer carcass. At that point, I gave up. I was stunned at how awful things were going.

As we were leaving, I thought I was free and clear. But no, I had no escape plan. Gonzo wanted to see my house. So they followed me home and I gave them the grand tour.

Sample conversation number 1:

Gonzo: Your tree needs to be in the middle of the window.

Me: I kinda like it where it is.

G: Well, you are wrong. Isn't he wrong Samsonite?

Samsonite: You are wrong Tripp, your tree needs to be in the middle of the window.

M: Well, thanks for your concern, but there are reasons why I placed it where I did and I want it to stay there.

G: You are wrong. Your tree needs to be in the middle of the window.

Sample conversation number 2:

G: Oh my gosh! You have tickets to the football game! Oh my gosh, can I buy one off of you?

M: No, they aren't for sale.

G: Come on! I will give you $20 for this ticket right now.

M: Umm, actually I paid $85 per ticket and I really want to go to that game.

G: Come on! I will give you $20 for this ticket right now.

I was annoyed. Gonzo started peppering me with questions again. I attempted to answer and she shot back with "All I heard was blah blah blah, I'm really insecure, blah blah blah." At that point, I should have just kicked her out of my house. Samsonite did nothing to defend me. So I tried defending myself, explaining what I meant. I was on my best behavior because I have had fun with Samsonite and I thought there could be some major potential there.

So Gonzo starts into this diatribe of how Mormon guys are all gatherers when they should all be hunters. I gave a couple of valid points that were shot down by both Gonzo and Samsonite (Samsonite remained relatively quiet through most of the conversation). At that point, I wanted them both out of my house, I made a mental note to myself that Samsonite would not be getting another phone call from me. Nevertheless, they were still in my house and I had no way to get them to leave. So the awkwardness continued. Gonzo was mean, Samsonite was mostly silent (except for an occasional laugh at something Gonzo said, just to sort of prove that she was on the same page as Gonzo on just about every topic). Finally, at 12:45, they left my house. Gonzo offered up a half-hearted apology on the way out the door. Samsonite stuck up for me a total of 1 time the entire night but it somehow felt enough to redeem her from throwing me under the bus the other 10 times.

Today I got a text from Samsonite asking if I wanted to go get pizza with them. Umm, no. A minute later, I got a text from Gonzo offering another apology. It seemed sincere so I accepted the apology and apologized to her if I had said something mean last night. Gonzo replied with "I don't need an apology. I wasn't offended, one has to be insecure to be offended." Oh how my blood boiled. I considered sending a profanity laced response that would surely put Gonzo in her place. But I realized that no matter what I wrote back to Gonzo, it would fail. No matter how accurately I described her insecurities or lack of manners and mean spirit, it would only make me look more insecure in both her eyes and Samsonite's eyes. So I told her that the apology was unaccepted. Gonzo gave some snide remark back about how she was only doing it to be a good friend to Samsonite. Can't imagine a lot of scenarios where I will be taking Samsonite out again.

Introducing Samsonite

Last night I had my first date with Samsonite. I met her last weekend at a party. I didn't get her number at the party but I added her as a friend on Facebook that night and then asked for her number via Facebook. It's not ideal but it worked.

I picked Samsonite up and immediately thought she was cuter than I remembered from meeting her before. That's always a good sign. The conversation never seemed to lag during dinner. Samsonite and I have the same sense of humor (quirky and a little off-colored) so it went well. Initially I hadn't planned on doing anything after dinner (since first dates are best left short) but I was really digging Samsonite so I took her to my house so we could watch a movie. It was super easy and natural to start cuddling with Samsonite. Sometimes I am not sure if other girls are just more awkward or if they just don't want to cuddle with me. Not that I am a cuddle slut. But a few minutes into the movie, Samsonite and I were cuddling. We did a bit of tickling and ended up making out. It had been way too long. I definitely want to do something with Samsonite again soon. The funny thing is, today as I rehashed our date, I kept wondering whether Samsonite was actually interested in me. I guess there must have been a couple of moments during the date when I felt unsure (these moments were probably not when we were kissing), although I can't put my finger on exactly what moments they were.

Tweak called me on the phone this week and gave me two phone numbers of girls that he thinks I should go out with (and that agreed to be set up with me). A coworker offered to set me up with his sister this week (unsolicited). Also, my aunt called me to suggest I get set up with her friend's little sister. After 6 weeks of no dates, having a dating pool of 6 or 7 girls feels a bit overwhelming. Of course, it's the good kind of overwhelming.