Fast Food Dating

On Friday night, I went and saw a movie with Gamer and Chief. It wasn't really that interesting. Gamer is just as awkward as ever and Chief has always been very awkward. But it's nice to have friends that want to do stuff with you (although to be honest, I am not sure why they want me to do stuff with them - do they need a chaperone because he is married to someone other than her?). On Saturday I had a date with Simpson. I am so lukewarm about Simpson that it's like swimming in a warm pool when it is hot and humid outside of the pool. I just kind of get no sensation either way. But Simpson is very nice and the conversation was pretty good. After dinner, we made smoothies at my house (in case you are noticing a trend, I finally gave in and purchased a super high powered blender; it's one of those blenders that you can blend anything in and so I have been on a smoothie and milkshake kick) and watched a movie. I made out with Simpson. It's scuzzy and I know it. It's kinda like eating fast food. You know that after you eat it, you are gonna kind of feel sick to your stomach. And you know that eating it for long periods of time is only going to make you fat and unhealthy. But, you are hungry and it's right there and it's cheap and they can get it to you fast. And so you just give in and eat it once in awhile. I know that I don't really like Simpson, because the next day I thought to myself "How am I going to get myself out of this one?"

On Monday night, I talked on the phone with a new girl named Wonder. I haven't yet met Wonder but we are going on a date on Saturday. We have been emailing on the dating website for a little while and she seems pretty cool. Definitely much more conservative than me but it should be fun to go out with her. Last night, TAB came over to make smoothies. We went to the grocery store to purchase appropriate smoothie supplies. TAB was absolutely annoying at the store. Ever since I told her that I thought she was controlling, she kinda tries to pretend like she is not controlling by saying things like "it's your smoothie, what do you want to do?" But then she picks and chooses pretty much everything. The smoothie did not turn out as well as the one with Simpson, even though Simpson and I spent $10 on supplies while TAB and I spent $30 on supplies. We didn't kiss or anything and I have no intention of going out with TAB again. TAB is sort of like an annoying expensive restaurant in Las Vegas with expensive sub-standard food. It's too hard to get and the food you do get is not near worth the expense to obtain it.

Today, I walked into my office to find an envelope from the business where House works. My heart jumped. I was worried I was going to get a scathing letter about how irresponsible I am. Or some other bad news from House. My secretary opens all of my mail (I have no idea if she reads it or not, but the mail is always placed on my desk opened) so I was also a little nervous about what she might have seen. The envelope included a book called "Look me in the eye" and a letter from House. It was kind but basically said that in the future, I should try and be a better communicator. I have struggled so much with wanting to write House an email or call her and try and work things out. In fact, I almost cried while thinking about her this morning. I had/have feelings for her. I just never felt like it was enough. Like that I never felt strong enough about her to justify ruining her life by having me be a large part of it.

Story of my life: talking about nothing

On Friday night, MrsChief, Chief, Gamer and I went to see MacGruber. It wasn't a particularly great movie. Oh yeah, and Gamer brought one of her friends. After the movie, we were standing in the hallway talking. Talking about nothing. I had some soda during the movie and I really had to go. But, it appeared that all the bathrooms for the theater were past the ticket counter (we were in the main lobby). So, the conversation was going nowhere, I really had to go and it felt awkward. The situation was just weird and I wasn't thinking straight. So I kinda just walked away. And didn't come back. It was pouring rain so I decided to just go straight to my car and drive home rather than try and find a bathroom.

When I got home, Gamer texted me and said something about how weird it was that I had left. I guess it was kinda weird. But it's not like we had any other plans after the movie. And it's not like I was on a date with Gamer. How can I tell that Gamer really likes me? She still wanted to come over to my house and hang out. We hung out for a little while and then she took off cause I needed to get up the next morning and get some work done.

On Sunday evening, I went over to Gamer's to play some Super Mario Bros. on her Wii. You may not know this about me but I love Super Mario Bros. Since the day my older brother received a Nintendo for his birthday, I have been fascinated with the game. I have a lot of fun with Gamer but I am just not falling for her.

Other Notes: I called Simpson over the weekend and left a message but she never called me back. I think Simpson might be pulling another disappearing act. Crack told me today that he is setting me up with his personal trainer. FarFarAway called me on Saturday to hang out and again last night.

Typical atypical weekend

On Friday night, Chief and Gamer and an old friend/roommate of mine (WoolyBully) went to the movies. I am still trying to figure out what Chief is doing hanging out regularly with Gamer. I am absolutely attracted to her. She is such a smart alec. Very awkward but I found that if I try and make things awkward for her, it works. After the movie, we went to dinner. Gamer and I were joking about how we could get married to just cover the stigma of being single. She said maybe we could have our own houses. I scoffed at that and said maybe our own rooms but we had to copulate and she said "Sounds good to me." I gave her a high five. Does that mean we sealed the deal and are going to copulate?

On Saturday, Sugarloaf and I went to this church dance. It was dinner followed by ballroom dance instructions. Picture all the awkwardness of a stake dance when you were in high school and then just add 10 years. I totally thought the whole night was gonna be a bust. They had all the guys line up on one side and then said "go find a girl on the other side to dance with." It was like a feeding frenzy. All the cute girls were snatched up in an instant. Then I saw a fairly attractive girl Linguist sitting on the side. Sample conversation:

Me: Hey, you wanna dance?
Linguist: Uhh, well, you see, I can't because I am watching my friend's purse.
Me: Yeah, I understand, it's a pretty rough crowd out here. I would hate for it to get stolen.
Linguist: Well, I just told her I would watch it.
Me: Well, what if I hold it while we dance?
Linguist: No, that wouldn't work.
Me: What if I cover it with my suit jacket and we dance right next to it and watch it?
Linguist: Well, ok.

So we started to dance. And we really clicked. She was very interested in what it was like to be a lawyer. I remember thinking to myself "hey, this is going alright." The song ended and we just kept talking. They taught a new dance and we just kept talking. And then out of nowhere, this total douche walks up to us talking and is like "Hey, it's time to change partners, sorry" and grabs Linguist to go dance. I seriously thought about punching him in the face. See, the problem was that now I had missed the dance instructions (which meant I couldn't just ask someone else to dance) and so I had to go back over to the side where the guys were. I was pretty pissed. Linguist got asked to dance for the next song as well.

As I was walking back over to other side, Sugarloaf came up to me with this awkward girl Katarina. He kinda dropped her off on me and walked away. I wasn't really sure what was going on so I kinda started a conversation with Katarina. Then I tried to walk away and Katarina told me she had tickets to a play and wanted to know if I would go with her. It turns out she had already asked Sugarloaf and he had given some BS answer about a birthday activity that he had that night. I quickly scanned my mind for any legitimate excuse. Nothing came and I agreed to go to a play with Katarina. I was already pissed at the douche bag and this kinda made the night seem even worse. Sugarloaf admitted that he owed me big time later that evening.

After teaching us to ballroom dance, they turned off the lights and blasted hip hop music. I loosened up and had some fun. All the cute girls had left. I danced the way I think people who love to dance do it : I couldn't care less what anyone there thought of me. It was fun. I met one girl who seemed very interested in me but I didn't bother to get her phone number. I wasn't that interested.

What's all this talk about love?

Friday night I went with Chief to play video games with this girl Gamer and her friend. Chief and I picked up pizza on the way over. Gamer is a very different girl. She plays lots of video games. For some reason, I am very attracted to her though. Maybe it's just because she seems so relaxed compared to other girls. Like she isn't trying to be anything other than herself. Gamer has a yappy little dog that seriously drove me bonkers though. We played Super Mario Brothers on her Wii until like 1:30 in the morning. It was a lot of fun.

On Saturday, I had a date with BFD. I was supposed to go to a wedding reception before the date but I hurt my back really bad and had to lay down for a bit. I woke up 10 minutes late to my date and impossibly late to the wedding reception. I think I showed up at BFD's place 30 minutes late. We met up with BFD's roommate Script and this guy she is kinda dating. After dinner, we decided to rent a movie. The guy Script was on a date with chose this movie Black Dynamite. I kissed BFD a couple of times and then headed home.

On Sunday, BFD texted me asking me to come over and hang out. I was bored since all of my roommates have basically abandoned me so I headed over. We watched slumdog millionaire. I think BFD honestly likes me but it feels so contrived. Like that maybe BFD just likes the idea of me. Script was saying how she wanted a guy that had such and such qualities and I realized that she was kinda naming off all the qualities that I had. Not trying to build up my ego or anything. I just wondered if maybe BFD was feeling pressure from her friends to settle down with a guy and if maybe the qualities her friends wanted had influenced the qualities that BFD wanted. Do you think maybe I am purposefully not falling for BFD because she represents all the girls that I have wanted to date in the past who wanted guys other than me?

Suggestions to improve the mormon dating scene

So the weekend is approaching and I haven't done anything to "drop" BFD or Pulse. Pulse is out of town this weekend visiting her sister who is an actress in this HBO series. BFD texted me the other night suggesting we do something this weekend. I decided to give it one more serious chance with her so we are going out on Saturday. Tonight, my buddy Chief and I are going to play video games with some girls. Chief was one of my good friends in undergrad. I was the best man at his wedding. Chief''s wife MrsChief and I are good friends too. I have to admit though, I really don't understand their relationship. Chief is going to some girl's house to play video games on a friday night without MrsChief. Two girls, two boys, double date right? Anyway, I think he wants to sort of set me up with one of the girls that works with him.

A week or so ago, I started messaging Spinster on Facebook. As you might remember, Spinster and I had a decent first date back in January and then Spinster got a boyfriend while I was on my cruise. I was basically just fishing. She responded back and forth several times and I finally felt comfortable enough to ask when we might go on our second date. She told me she and this guy had just broken up and that we ought to. So, we have plans for next Friday. Spinster is doing her student teaching right now and she is a physical trainer at a gym - both definite plusses. However, Spinster is also very attractive and gets asked out quite regularly.

I have been thinking about how to change the mormon dating scene. Here are a few off the cuff suggestions.

1. No more limits on who you can date. If a girl has dated my best friend or met my best friend at a party or whatever, this should not preclude me from dating her. I don't care if my best friend liked her or still likes her. People should not be that territorial. Potential advantages: Opens up dating a lot more. You tend to meet the people your friends date so why not be able to date those people? Potential disadvantages: Guys at the top of their game will poach more. This rule tends to benefit those guys and girls more that are higher up on the mormon dating food chain.

2. A small get together social network. Instead of paying for a dating service, how about paying for a small-get together service. It basically takes two groups of friends and matches them up for an evening hang out. I think something like this would help us actually meet people. You and your friends commit to these hang outs for two hours. It matches groups together and facilitates actually meeting peole. Kinda like speed dating for hang outs. Potential advantages: Meet lots more people. Easier to get a number in a hang out environment than in a dark dance club. Potential disadvantages: Could become a feeding ground for NCMO. Also, it might be kinda like family home evening: only the people who need help dating actually go. Thus, it might be overrun with less attractive guys and girls.

3. A free online dating service. Facebook is free. Why can't there be a dating service that is free? How about a simple facebook application for this? It only attempts to match you with people who meet your basic requirements. Potential advantages: Easier to meet people. Less likely to spend many hours writing messages to people who aren't paying for the service and can't read your messages. Potential disadvantages: People naturally take better care of things that they pay for. If they aren't paying, they may not be as dedicated to it.

More to come (potentially).