It's Fair Season

On Thursday, I had lunch with my grandma and littlebrother. Littlebrother had to take off early and as my grandma and I were leaving the restaurant, someone yelled my name. I turned to see Jewel walking towards us. I gave my grandma a hug and sent her on her way and walked over to chat with Jewel. It was pretty short, I made a couple of jokes, tried to make myself appear aloof and then said I had to get back to work. I could see in Jewel's eyes that she was hoping for more. And I was right. Two minutes later, I got a phone call from Jewel asking me if I would like to meet her for lunch on Friday. I politely declined, citing lunch plans with my parents. I could definitely hear bits of regret in Jewel's voice but she admitted nothing.

On Friday night, GetErDone called me up and said he wanted to set me up with this girl Figure for Saturday. I tentatively agreed and then a few minutes later, Figure called me using GetErDone's phone. She asked if I had something to ask her. It was a little weird but I liked her being forward about it. So I asked her out for Saturday. When I picked her up, the first thing Figure told me was about her strange diet. Figure is training to be in a figure competition (sort of like a female bodybuilding competition sans the huge muscles). As is typical, I had tons of questions to ask her about it. Why did she do it? What did it entail? What could she win? Did she have a six pack? (yes she did)

The problem is, it got our date started on completely the wrong foot. I don't know if Figure normally would have asked lots of questions but I think my questions sent her into pageant mode. Pageant mode is when a girl only answers the questions that you ask rather than attempts to have a conversation with you. So as the questions about figure competitions began to run dry, so did our conversation. I wanted to ask about other things but I felt pigeonholed into that one topic. Figure tried to ask me some questions but those conversations never got off the ground. In the end, I learned more about figure competitions than I thought I would ever learn. But very little about Figure as a person. And Figure learned very little about me as a person either (other than my ability to interview pageant girls).

At one point, I was struggling so much that I started trying to figure out what guys Figure was attracted to. She started telling me that she was super picky and she wasn't sure that any of the guys there were her type. I felt like the person asking the questions of Miss South Carolina why the majority of US children cannot find the United States on a map that got more than they bargained for. "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some... people out there in our nation don't have maps." And I also learned that fairs are only as fun as the person you are there with.

A Sweet Mullet

I haven't been on any dates over the past few weeks. I would be lying if I told you that I have really enjoyed all the extra free time. I broke out my old Nintendo and played several games all the way through. I also broke out my old Super Nintendo and finished a game that I started three years ago. I watched every episode of 30 Rock available on Netflix. I have even lost some weight by eating better (since there is no one to go to dinner with me, I have been eating at home). I am just not used to having that much free time. Although going on two or more dates per week seemed unsustainable, not going on any dates also seems unsustainable.

On Friday night, Jewel called me from a different number. I answered and she asked if she could borrow my truck. I was shocked at the nerve of such a request. Thankfully, my truck is out of town. Otherwise I might have said yes and made myself look like a doormat. We talked for like 30 minutes about nothing. I missed her but I didn't tell her. I felt so taken advantage of.

Last week, I became interested in this girl Broadway. Broadway works at the clinic where I am going for physical therapy. She started there a month or two ago and we became fast friends. But I knew she had a boyfriend. And I knew that Broadway just barely graduated from high school. So last week, Broadway informed me that she had dumped her boyfriend. We flirted more than usual and I seriously considered asking her on a date. I felt as if Broadway wanted me to ask her on a date. The thing is, age is just a number, right? Over the past seven or eight years, people have said to me "Tripp, you can't go out with that girl, she is too young!" Every one of those girls is now married and most of them have kids. So what is stopping me from asking Broadway out? Although the age difference really doesn't bother me in the least, I worry that it might bother her. And her parents, since she still lives at home. But I don't feel like it should bother either of them. I am young at heart and very responsible. Plus, what parents wouldn't want their daughter to date an attorney with a sweet mullet?

What's been happening lately

So Jewel finally called me early one morning and said she didn't feel strongly enough about me to keep seeing me. I was bummed but the anxiety finally stopped. She said "I am probably gonna regret this." And I said "if you do, give me a call." And that was it. I went on a second date with Cabinet. It was fun but I can tell that Cabinet has huge walls built up. It's almost impossible to schedule a date with her. When I suggested a third date, she told me she had a night available in like two weeks. How am I ever going to build a relationship with someone if I only see them once every two weeks?

I went on a couple of dates with littleKJo. She is dating another guy though. And KJo knows of this blog, so I have to be careful what I write about littleKJo, since KJo is sure to tell her all about it.

I have been talking with Pulse a lot lately. On the 24th, I decided to text her and see how everything was going. She suggested we meet for dinner. We met up around 9 and ended up talking/hanging out until 2 in the morning. It was a lot of fun. I just didn't want to leave. I found myself so emotionally attracted to the stability that Pulse represents. Not that Pulse isn't lots of fun, she just isn't crazy like Jewel. Since then, Pulse and I have talked quite a bit. I told her all about Jewel and she told me all about the guys that are currently in her life. Basically, the timing is not right for dating Pulse.

Last Tuesday, I got a text from Jewel asking how my whiplash was (I was involved in about 6 major automobile accidents and about 8 minor automobile accidents over the previous weekend). I didn't respond. The next day, I received another text from her saying "I would like to spend time with you and get to know you better, is that something you would be interested in?" I was not too happy about receiving this text. The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that Jewel had just gotten bored and liked having someone that liked her. So I followed my knee jerk reaction. I went to my computer and I wrote her an email. It was probably a little bit harsh. I told her how she had mistreated me. I told her I deserved better treatment.

Two days later, I got a text from Jewel saying "Just FYI, that was me admitting I made a mistake." I was seriously confused. I responded "and that was me telling you I still like you." A few hours later, I got another text from Jewel saying that she had just received my email and to have a great summer. I was so confused. Then I received an email from Jewel. She did not like what I had written in my email and felt attacked. She said that she obviously wasn't good enough for me and that she was sorry and that she hoped I had a good life. I responded with another email telling her that I still really liked her and that the email had been a little too harsh. I told her that I was willing to swallow my pride and admit that I had made some mistakes. Was she willing to swallow her pride and admit that she had made some mistakes too? On Saturday morning, I received a text from Jewel saying thanks for the second email and that she had some serious thinking to do. To be honest, it bummed me out quite a bit. What thinking did she have to do? Hadn't she already spent plenty of time thinking?

Today, Jewel called me. We talked for about 30 minutes. As usual, Jewel spoke semi-cryptically. She said that she had admitted she made a mistake and wanted to go out with me one more time to see if we clicked. But then she had received the emails from me. The harsh words that I said made her realize that it was selfish of her to go out with me again and torture me so. I told her that this was not irreparable. And that was it. I said bye and she was gone again. At this point, I seriously doubt that I will ever see Jewel again. I suppose it is for the best.

Last week littlebrother brought a girl over to my house named ZZ. I thought ZZ was pretty cute and littlebrother was all about me asking her out (after he made out with her in my house - which is just awkward). I am toying with the idea of asking her out.

Every day we get a little bit stronger

On Saturday, GetErDone texted me and suggested I take this girl Oprah (not the real Oprah!) on a date and meet him at this country concert. I guess GetErDone had been set up on a blind date with Oprah a few weeks earlier and being the good friend that he is, he passed his leftover on to me. Prior to calling Oprah, I checked out some of her stuff from her TV show. She seemed fun and funny and she was pretty cute in a lot of the stuff. When someone is on TV regularly (as in everyday), there is plenty to discover about them online. So I called her and set up the date.

I picked her up and thought she was very pretty. However, she wore this purple lipstick that would have embarrassed Ronald McDonald on a date. Even though we got along fairly well (I didn't feel like there was any chemistry though), how in the world could I get over a first impression like that? I am attracted to clean, natural looking faces. Even people that are freezing to death don't have lips that color purple. Nevertheless, I had fun. I just don't think I will take her out again.

On Sunday, KJo and her little sister littleKJo invited me over for dinner. It ended up being a lot of fun. I flirted with littleKJo and even though she has kinda been dating this guy, I decided to ask her on a date. I asked her to attend a baseball game with me on Wednesday night. We had a blast. I approached the date more like I normally approach dates: not really caring and just trying to have fun. We talked about the boy she was kinda dating and I told her a little about Jewel. She thinks that Jewel has treated me horribly. I kinda agree.

Jewel had told me she would call me on Tuesday. On Tuesday, I received a text from her saying she had just been to the dentist and asking if she could call me on Wednesday morning. Umm, ok. On Wednesday morning, I woke up feeling super anxious (as any thoughts related to Jewel seem to do to me now). Jewel texted me asking what I was doing for lunch on Thursday. No mention was made of the phone call that had apparently now been canceled. I texted her back and said that I already had lunch plans for Thursday.

I really am not even sure why I should see Jewel again, I don't see any positive potential. Sample conversation likely to occur if/when we see each other next:

Me: Hey Jewel.

Jewel: Oh my gosh, I hate my intern so much, he is so stupid, but I am moving to California soon, I am sooo excited, like, it is gonna be great, I won't have to live here anymore.

Me: Uhh, gee thanks, that makes me feel great.

Jewel: California is just so much better than here. I can go to the beach and swim in the ocean. The ocean is like my favorite thing ever. And swim in my mom's pool. And ride my bike every day. I am so excited.

Me: Wow, ok, why did we meet again (while stabbing my fork into my eye)?

Jewel: Because we are friends. You need to just chill out. Stop worrying so much. My roommate would love to go on a date with you. Oh my gosh, California.... California... California...

You get the gist. So I told her that I had plans. Then she asked what I was doing on Monday. Here's the thing, when we were dating, she would ask what I was doing this weekend, and I would tell her some of the stuff I had planned and then she would say "oh, this is what I am doing." I used to think maybe she was trying to invite me to do something but now, I have no idea. Her asking what I am doing on Monday in no way guarantees that a) she will not suddenly have something better come up that requires moving activities with me to another day or b) she will just not feel like doing anything. Yeah, I am pretty much fed up with Jewel. I still love her but since yesterday, I have decided that I would only take her back on several conditions (assuming she doesn't move to California, since there are no jobs there).

1. No more talking about how great California is. To be honest, I would move to California to be with Jewel. But right now, we don't live in California and she needs to get over it.

2. We need to do stuff together at least 3 times per week. No exceptions.

3. We have to start kissing again immediately.

4. If she goes to California for the weekend, she has to invite me to come along.

5. We are steady dating, no dates with other people.

6. I need regular words of affirmation from her. Maybe her love language is shown via quality time spent but mine requires words of affirmation.

Since zero of the above 6 things are likely to change, the odds of Jewel and I dating are pretty much zero. It's sad but perhaps I can move on and find someone else.

It's the reason why I'm here

I ended up having a lot of fun on my date with Cabinet. Cabinet is one of those really cool girls that every guy gets along with instantly. But from talking to mutual friends, she is the kind of girl that is really good at keeping guys at arms length. In other words, there may be walls she has built that I can't possibly tear down unless she lets them down. So we will see.

I picked up Cabinet and decided that I wanted to eat some place decent. So I took her to the Melting Pot. She had never been. Cabinet is so good at carrying conversation. I think I was a bit surprised at how able she was to hold a conversation through the entire dinner. I guess I don't actually anticipate that a girl will be able to do that. After dinner, since it was too late to do an activity but too early to take her home, I took Cabinet over to my house. Milo and Steve-O were there and they were definitely impressed with Cabinet. We just talked about politics and it was super chill. Of course, one of my main concerns about dating is that I let things become too chill way too soon. I guess I have more baggage now than I did a few months ago with the Jewel debacle. Now I am going to enter every potential relationship with a fear that things will be too relaxed early on and that I will be unable to jump start them when I decide I want to move to the next level.

Cabinet and I have texted a few times since the date. I would be very interested in going out with her again. I can't really say if she has any interest.

I can't move the mountains for you

I literally got off the phone with Jewel 2 minutes ago. Our conversation was nice, a bit awkward. Jewel told me how great her weekend in California was. And that it had almost pushed her over the edge to quit her job and move back there. She said she is going to spend the next couple of weeks thinking before she makes her final decision.

I was definitely disappointed. I have tried so hard to pretend over the last two weeks that I was over Jewel and that I was ready to move on. I actually encouraged Jewel to follow her heart and do what she needed to do. Partially because I think that really is what she should do and partially because saying anything else would solve nothing. I sent her roommate and best friend here a quick message on Facebook about it. I know I probably shouldn't have but what exactly do I have to lose?

I told Jewel again on the phone that I liked her and that I still wanted to date her. Then, I asked her if she wanted to spend any time with me or if it would cloud her judgment. Jewel said she would give me a call in a week to answer that question. Of course there are going to be moments where I think that I should have said something else or done things differently. But in the end, I told Jewel how I felt. And if she leaves then I guess that is what is supposed to happen.

On Friday, I had a date with Bolivia. I met Bolivia through an ex-girlfriend of Milo's a week ago. We met up with Sugarloaf and Tweak and their dates and headed to a rodeo. Bolivia is in her mid 30s and looks very good. But, there just wasn't a huge connection. I doubt I will take her out again.

Tonight I have a first date with Cabinet. About two weeks ago, I saw her online on Facebook. So I struck up a conversation with her and asked her out. I guess I kinda felt impressed to ask her out. She seems like a pretty cool girl and there have been times where I saw her and thought she was very good looking. I can't say that having this phone conversation with Jewel prior to my date with Cabinet has put me in the best mood for going on dates but I can't cancel on Cabinet 2 hours before the date just because of that. Wish me luck.

It must have been love, but it's over now

It must have been good, but we lost it somehow. Jewel and I haven't talked in 11 days. After a bit of a freakout, I called her 12 days ago and laid some feelings on the line. I told her that she was mistreating me and that I wasn't at all a priority in her life. She admitted that I wasn't a priority. Sort of. As we talked it became clear what had happened. Jewel really enjoyed hanging out with me and even liked me quite a bit. I started liking her back. And it freaked her out. Don't get me wrong, I am sure plenty of this is my fault. I am not used to liking girls. The last girl I really liked was 2 years ago, and people change a lot in 2 years. So I think I came on too heavy.

So Jewel and I met for lunch and to figure out how to proceed the following day. The lunch was pretty short. We had some casual small talk and then talked about options. In a perfect world, I would be able to just tone it down and continue dating Jewel while she figures out what she wants. There is a good chance that we could continue to date over the next few months and she could fall madly in love with me. We decided on a 1 week break with no talking. For both of us to think about what we really wanted. I guess when the break started, I didn't really think about how we would initiate communication after the week. I kinda figured that since she knows I like her, she would be the one to initiate it. Littlebrother advised me to not call or text her on Monday and I heeded his advice. On Tuesday, I realized I had no idea what I could possibly say to Jewel. Telling her that I have strong feelings for her wouldn't work - I already tried that. Telling her that I am ok with casually dating her is basically going back to where I was a few weeks ago. Whether you like me or not, you should agree that Jewel was not treating me as well as I deserve to be treated.

Now it is Thursday and we still haven't talked. She hasn't called or texted. I told littlebrother last night that she probably doesn't even remember who I am. I am trying to sort of play it off like I am not super bothered by this whole thing. Yesterday, I logged onto facebook chat and saw Jewel online there (she is almost never online) and my heart skipped a beat, literally. I didn't say anything to her. Last night, I prayed long and hard about getting help to handle this situation appropriately. I asked if I should email her or call her or text her or visit her in person or never talk to her again. I am not sure I have received an answer. Maybe God just doesn't care much about my dumb little dating dilemmas.

They say that when you meet the right person, it will just be easy. At first, that's exactly how it felt with Jewel. The conversation never lagged. I looked forward to spending time with her. Basically she made every activity fun and I felt like I did the same for her. Someone once told me that with how much I date, and with how long I have waited to get married, I am sure to find exactly what I want. He married the first girl he dated after his mission. Maybe none of us ever really have it figured out.