Story of my life: talking about nothing

On Friday night, MrsChief, Chief, Gamer and I went to see MacGruber. It wasn't a particularly great movie. Oh yeah, and Gamer brought one of her friends. After the movie, we were standing in the hallway talking. Talking about nothing. I had some soda during the movie and I really had to go. But, it appeared that all the bathrooms for the theater were past the ticket counter (we were in the main lobby). So, the conversation was going nowhere, I really had to go and it felt awkward. The situation was just weird and I wasn't thinking straight. So I kinda just walked away. And didn't come back. It was pouring rain so I decided to just go straight to my car and drive home rather than try and find a bathroom.

When I got home, Gamer texted me and said something about how weird it was that I had left. I guess it was kinda weird. But it's not like we had any other plans after the movie. And it's not like I was on a date with Gamer. How can I tell that Gamer really likes me? She still wanted to come over to my house and hang out. We hung out for a little while and then she took off cause I needed to get up the next morning and get some work done.

On Sunday evening, I went over to Gamer's to play some Super Mario Bros. on her Wii. You may not know this about me but I love Super Mario Bros. Since the day my older brother received a Nintendo for his birthday, I have been fascinated with the game. I have a lot of fun with Gamer but I am just not falling for her.

Other Notes: I called Simpson over the weekend and left a message but she never called me back. I think Simpson might be pulling another disappearing act. Crack told me today that he is setting me up with his personal trainer. FarFarAway called me on Saturday to hang out and again last night.

One year of blogging/sabotaging my marriage prospects

I first decided to write a dating blog after several conversations with the infamous Holly Lynn. Her blog "if i were really skinny..." was the inspiration for my blog, even though our blogs have almost nothing in common (hers is about fashion and pop culture and diet coke - mine is about my dating escapades). I was there when Holly Lynn got a boyfriend (well, not physically there, man that would have been awkward - just heard about it from her soon after the fact) and I was there when I found out Holly Lynn got engaged (I wasn't there when she got married, even though I had promised her a quilt with something about her husband's nickname "de la rocca - conservative" embroidered on it, sorry about that Holly Lynn, I am not sure you really would want a quilt like that anyway, if you were just going to throw it away, it doesn't really make sense for me to have it made, does it?). Since then, Holly's blog posts have become fewer and farther apart.

After I began blogging, my good friend Lorelei from law school read my blog and decided to start her own dating blog "Date Lorelei" which was a much better put-together blog than this one. Now that Lorelei has become engaged, she has stopped posting on her blog. Although I certainly wish her well, when a friend that is a girl gets married, the dynamic of the friendship changes. I just don't feel as comfortable chatting with married women. So I feel as if I am losing Lorelei as a friend in much the same way I lost Holly Lynn as a friend and the way I lost Chanel many years ago as a friend. Another one of my good friends from law school got engaged a few weeks ago. It has me reflecting quite a bit on my position in life and dating.

Maybe I subconsciously don't want to get married. When my friends have gotten married, most of them have deserted me. I will admit that I have a lot of bad feelings towards marriage. Besides the fact that many (if not most, depending on who you ask) married couples are unhappy, there is also the huge chance that the marriage will not be successful (no matter what you do, you cannot control the actions of another person and marriage always involves two people (well, at least two)). Could I be sabotaging potential relationships to ensure that I keep my single life? After all, every year that I remain single, I get to live how I want, buy what I want and do what I want. Being married would be a major life change for me. I would have to develop a budget (which I make fun of my friend Crack for nearly every day). I would have to go to bed at a regular time every day. I would have to spend my saturdays helping in-laws that I can't stand move from one crappy apartment to another cause they are too cheap to hire someone. I would have to learn to accept the kooky holiday traditions of my in-laws. Maybe I am not ready for marriage.

Week in review

I had a really busy week last week and wasn't able to write at all. On Wednesday, I had a date planned with BFD. I ended up working late (til 10:30) and had to cancel on her. BFD seemed ok with it. On Thursday, I went out with Pulse. It was really fun. We ate at IHOP, went to the bookstore and then watched Taken at my house. She hadn't seen it and was totally freaking out throughout the whole movie. Pulse is just really cool. Everytime I talk to Steve-O, he totally thinks that I need to date Pulse.

On Friday night, I had a date with Fiesta. I met Fiesta last summer at a cabin trip and we became facebook friends. We chat from time to time and I just felt like asking her out. We had dinner and went to a movie. Nothing too exciting. Fiesta is pretty cool but I already know that I don't have any interest in dating her. She is pretty and fun but she lives far away, is not LDS and there are just too many moments where the conversation sort of dies between us and I have to struggle to revive it.

On Saturday, I had a date with Spinster. She met me at my house and we drove out to my friend Crack's place for dinner and games. Crack and I have been friends for many many years. As we were driving out there, I decided to ask Spinster a few questions. I was just fishing a little about what she had done with her life thus far and Spinster dropped a bomb on me. She was married. Ok, it isn't that big of a bombshell. When she was 20, she was married for about a year. The whole thing just intimidates me though. Why? Well, for one, it makes me wonder if she is really not interested in a relationship (because maybe she has trust issues). It also makes me wonder if everything I do is somehow compared to some guy from many years ago (even though he failed, he initially succeeded). I felt a bit of a disconnect with Spinster.

We drove back to my house and although it was early, it was probably too late to start a movie (and maybe attempt to cuddle or initiate some kind of physical contact) but early enough that we had to do something. Spinster and I played a few round of MarioKart on my Super Nintendo. It was way fun. She wasn't horrible at it. Then she took off. There was a short hug. Knowing that Spinster was married kinda makes me way more nervous to try anything with her. I am not ready to kiss her anyway.

I was a little bummed (cause it was Saturday night, it was like 10:00 and I was sitting at home playing video games). Steve-O came home and said he was going to this western bar to meet some girl. He invited me along. We got all dressed up in our cowboy gear (well, my cowboy gear, I let Steve-O borrow a belt buckle and a cowboy shirt and a cowboy hat) and headed out in my truck. The place looked empty from the outside but was bustling on the inside. Tons of cowboys, a mechanical bull and cowgirls. I have always had a special place in my heart for cowgirls. Lilo was kinda a cowgirl and the way she spoke drove me crazy (in both the positive and negative aspects).

A good friend of me and Steve-O named Feldman met us there. Feldman has no fear. A few years ago, Feldman was engaged to be married. He showed up at the temple with all his friends and family on the day of the wedding. They waited. And waited some more. He called his fiance and finally got a hold of her. She was not coming. Nor was her family. Nor did they ever intend to come. The receptionhouse had not been booked. Announcements had not been sent. After going through a day like that, Feldman is the kind of guy who has no fear. No matter what happens, it won't ever be as bad as that day. While Steve-O was cuddling with some chick in the corner, Feldman and I country-danced it up with a couple of girls. It was a lot of fun. I just felt so rejuvenated by it. The girls probably weren't Mormon and one of them told Feldman she had a boyfriend but it was a good night for me. I think Mormon girls play this game with dating that non-Mormon girls do not play. It's like all Mormon girls are naturally suspicious of everything I do. Sometimes I get really tired of it. At the end of most dates with Mormon girls, I feel like a bit of a limp noodle. But after dancing with those girls, I felt like such a stud. I had my truck. I had my belt buckle. I had my Wrangler jeans. I had my cowboy hat. I had my cowboy shirt. I felt pretty good.