A Second Date or The Mormon Aristocracy Strikes Again

On Friday, I had a second date with Basketball. I was excited because I had tickets to The Hunger Games on opening night. My friend Soup joined us as a double date. As usual, the conversation with Basketball was very easy. I don't have any trouble finding things to talk about with her. Being on a double date meant it was harder to have a deep conversation. But while we were waiting for the movie to start, we got a chance to talk. I found myself wondering if I could relate to Basketball: she is so into sports and while I like sports, there are so many other things I like too. It was during this time that I also seriously questioned if there could be anything romantic between us. Normally by a second date, you are at least partially thinking romance, right? There just wasn't any sexual tension with Basketball. It makes me wonder if I am walking down the same path that I walked with House. Should I continue going out with Basketball, even though I might never see her as more than a friend?

Last week, I texted Joust to try and set up a second date. She didn't respond. I texted her again and received a response saying "I would like to be friends with you, but I don't see this going anywhere." Even though I absolutely appreciate a girl telling me that, it pissed me off. So Joust is gone.

On Saturday night, TheCaptain and Cowboy and Sugarloaf and I went to a party at a park that was kinda being hosted by DrJ. There were a couple of cute girls there but try as I might, I couldn't get them to even try and have a decent conversation with me. As I was talking to one girl, I could just tell that she was so not interested in talking to me. One girl found out that I was a lawyer and had lots of questions; her dad is a judge and she is considering law school. But the conversation died quickly when her friend jumped in to say it was time to leave. I watched as they continued to talk to other people for 15 more minutes. I am not sure if I was just not cool enough for these girls or dressed well enough or good enough looking or what it was. I get so frustrated at those types of events. But it's pretty much the only avenue for me to meet new girls.

Second date with Basketball rating: 6

Possibility of a third date with Basketball: Medium

Two First Dates (plus ratings!)

I didn't go on any dates for the last month. Not necessarily by choice. I just didn't have any girls I felt like taking out. And I had plenty of other things to distract me (including NASCAR races). Last week, I decided to ask out this girl Basketball. I met Basketball a few months ago in my ward. We have been emailing back and forth for a little while. I was a little hesitant to take Basketball out because she is in my ward and because she knows Princess.

My first impression of Basketball was that she is the kind of girl that doesn't get asked out a ton. So I was worried that the date might be a bit awkward. It wasn't at all. Basketball and I had a great conversation. I was surprised to find out that she is a registered democrat. We had plenty to talk about during dinner. After dinner, we went to my house to just hang out (since I had only really planned dinner). Basketball seemed really relaxed and fun to hang out with. It was one of the most comfortable dates I have been on in a long time.

On Saturday, I had a date planned with Joust. A mutual friend gave me Joust's phone number. We texted a little but I quickly got frustrated with Joust's texting style. Joust is an elementary school teacher and it sorta bothered me that she would text stuff like "u? lol, idk." But after discussing this with some friends, I decided that I couldn't prejudge her for something as dumb as grammar in texts. Joust had a St. Patrick's Day party to attend that night so we just met for dinner. In a lot of ways, I think the idea of just taking a girl to dinner (without an activity) is a much better first date. It gives you a chance to get to know someone a little without having to spend gobs of time with them.

I called Joust on the phone to get directions and she was super awkward on the phone. It definitely put me off. Luckily, Joust was better at going on dates than she was at talking on the phone and texting. About 10 minutes into the date, I was very worried that Joust wasn't going to ask me a single question. Finally, Joust broke down and asked some questions about my job. At that point, it felt like we were able to have a real conversation. Nothing flowed as well with Joust as it did with Basketball but I did have fun with Joust. By the end of the date, I felt that Joust was starting to show some interest. Plus, she texted me a few times after the date, which is always a good sign.

First date with Basketball: 7 Chance of second date: High

First date with Joust: 6 Chance of second date: High

Quidditch and Skyrim

On Thursday I had a blind date with Keys. Her brother is in my ward and wanted to set us up. We doubled with him and his wife. I don't double date with married couples that often, and this was probably an isolated incident, but the married couple seemed to only talk about themselves the whole night. Since Keys and I knew both of them very well and knew their kids, it was definitely a great place to start the conversation. However, halfway through dinner, I realized that Keys hadn't asked me a single question during dinner. We weren't getting to know each other, we were getting to know the married couple. My interest in Keys was mild at best. She is cute but I am not sure we had anything in common. And anyone that knows me knows that I really struggle going out with girls that are older than me.

On Friday, I had set up an epic event. Lolita and I were going out on a double date with my new friends Quidditch and Skyrim. For the record, I had never met Quidditch or Skyrim. I was worried; would they be cool? Would I be cool? Would Lolita be cool? Things started out awkward enough. We said our hellos but I felt like none of us really knew how to act (plus we were in a fabric store while waiting for our table for dinner - fabric stores = automatic awkwardness for me (my mom dragged me into fabric stores with her for hours when I was younger - eventually I told her I would rather sit in the hot car without the radio on than walk around in the fabric store)).

Things got considerably less awkward once we sat down for dinner. We talked about how they had met, we talked a little about how Lolita and I had met and we talked a little about stuff that interested all of us. After dinner, we decided to play games at my house. Lolita stopped off at the store to pick up Oreos for us. While playing the game, I teased Skyrim a little. Well, ok, I teased her a lot. I seriously expected her to look up at me at one point and say "Tripp, this is why you are not married!" Skyrim was super tired and I guess I am more annoying to people that are super tired. Overall though, I thought we all had fun.

Samsonite's Exit

I hung out with Samsonite on Sunday. I thought things were going pretty well. So last night, I texted her to ask when we could see each other again. Much to my surprise, I received a long text from Samsonite explaining why she didn't think we should see each other anymore. I was bugged. In my response, I tried to explain why I thought she was being foolish and what I was willing to do to try and make this work. Her response makes my blood boil.

"Listen, I don't want this to end ugly with bad feelings. I care about you as a friend, Tripp. I just don't want to date or do what we are doing anymore so, therefore, don't think it's probably a great idea if we hang out."

I don't want to respond. I don't want to be Samsonite's friend. Anytime someone is not willing to put in the work required to make a relationship work, I already pretty much know what kind of friend they are going to be. Crappy. I guess it's kind of interesting that I expect more out of my friends than I do out of the girls I date.

Somebody that I used to know

I have been out with Samsonite a few times over the last couple of weeks. I have developed a couple of concerns about Samsonite. First, I am not sure what kind of mother she would make. I actually haven't seen her interact with any kids. She has only 1 brother and he is close to her age (so no nieces and nephews). I know that Samsonite wants kids but I also know that she really enjoys having a career and would have a hard time sacrificing her career to raise a family. Second, i am not sure what kind of wife Samsonite would make. She never seems to cook and I am not sure about her homemaking skills. Also, Samsonite is sometimes a bit antisocial. She tends to hang back in groups.

Samsonite's sense of humor is much fouler than mine. She definitely prefers her comedy to be vulgar. It feels strange to me, since I have always been on the other side (where I am the one pushing the limits of those around me).

Last night, Samsonite and I were watching tv and the State of the Union address was on every channel. So I stopped to check it out for a bit. I find politics fascinating. And while I don't agree with President Obama on a lot of things, I definitely am interested in his opinions. Samsonite was immediately upset. She has some very strong views about Obama's policies and was quite vocal during his speech about how much she disagreed with what he said. It doesn't really matter to me whether the girl I am dating is politically conservative or liberal or even independent. I just was a bit surprised to find how unwilling Samsonite was to even consider some of Obama's opinions. It made me wonder if maybe Samsonite was a little bit closed-minded.

Flora never wrote me a second email. She texted me two days ago saying she guessed she wasn't very good at writing emails back. Then she went back to radio silence. That prospect seems to be dying.

Lolita and I have hung out a few times lately. In some ways, I think Lolita would like to hook up with me again. It's just things she has said. But then, she will tell me some story about a guy that she hooked up with and I wonder if I am reading her all wrong. For the time being, I am absolutely content with hanging out with Lolita without hooking up.

Cabins

Lolita and I hung out last week. I always have fun with Lolita. And there is a part of me that wouldn't mind dating her again. Besides being very pretty, Lolita is just so chill about life. She has this relaxed attitude that reminds me of a surfer bum or some kind of hippie. But as littlebrother and Lolita got to talking about some of her wilder experiences, I got uncomfortable. Lolita doesn't really believe in Mormonism and I think that is a major stopping point. Not that Lolita is jumping up and down to date me, just that if she were, I am not sure how we would handle the whole religion issue.

On Friday night, I decided to go up to the cabin with littlebrother, GetErDone, Samsonite and a large group of people. It was kinda last minute but when I suggested it to Samsonite, she seemed down. It ended up being a lot of fun. GetErDone brought a bunch of cute girls and I think everybody had fun playing games and just hanging out. Samsonite was pretty quiet most of the night. I don't think she was uncomfortable around all the people, I think Samsonite is just more awkward in social settings like that. I sort of naturally became the entertainer, which I really enjoy. One of the girls GetErDone brought is named Spark. Spark was much more comfortable at the cabin than Samsonite and there was a part of me that wanted to flirt with her. Spark also seemed to show some interest in me. It could have just been me imagining things.

On Monday, after waiting for a week from Flora and not hearing anything, I sent her a text. She responded with a promise to email me back within 24 hours. 24 hours later, Flora called to say she hadn't been able to write the email yet and asked for another 24 hours. It was really fun to talk to Flora on the phone. She seemed much more interested in me than during our previous conversations. I think the email helped. I am very much toying with the idea of traveling out of state to take Flora out on a date. Flora emailed me today and it was fun and interesting. I thought about immediately writing her back but decided to wait a day or two, just to make it more anticipated.

Tosh texted me today and wanted to hang out tonight and watch the basketball game. Our teams are playing each other... Since we are both huge fans, it should be interesting.

2012 - More of the same?

On Thursday, Sugarloaf texted me Flora's number. I guess his roommate wasn't that interested in her so he called her up and asked if he could give her number to me. So I gave Flora a call while I was waiting for Lolita to come over and hang out (Lolita and I are trying to play through Donkey Kong Country on my Super Nintendo). I was hoping Flora was still in town and we could arrange a date. Flora answered and we talked for a couple of minutes. It was a bit awkward. She had already left the state and spent all day driving. And she had arrived at her destination (a friend's parents' house) and was about to get into the shower. So we agreed to talk on the phone the next day.

One of the first questions Flora asked me when we talked the next day was "So, did I say something brilliant that made you want my number or have you just run out of girls in your home state to date?" Kind of funny but also awkward and very direct. I tried explaining it to Flora but I think it just came across as fuzz. Either way, the phone conversation was fun. Yesterday I sent Flora an email that I thought was funny and personal. She hasn't yet responded.

Hanging out with Lolita was a blast. As we were playing Donkey Kong Country, Lolita got a craving for Trix so we hopped in my car and hit up the grocery store. Cold cereal at midnight is such an amazing treat.

For New Years Eve, I went to a club with littlebrother and GetErDone. I have extremely low expectations for New Years Eve, since it is my least favorite holiday. I think my problem with it is that most people are drinking and hooking up. New Years Eve as a holiday does not really make sense for Mormons. GetErDone and littlebrother met a couple of cougars at the club. I kinda tried to mingle but I just felt so out of place there. In the end, it wasn't a bad New Years Eve. It's just that unless I spend the evening with someone and fall in love with them, New Years Eve is really just another night. The only difference is the additional expectations heaped on me to have more fun than any other night.

On Sunday, Samsonite texted me to apologize for being AWOL. A part of me wanted to not respond to her texts and give her some of her own medicine. But another part of me really wants to spend more time with her. That part of me won out. I accepted her apology and told her it was ok. I am not sure if her and I will end up spending any more time together. But if we don't, anything else would be like shooting someone in the back as they walk away. And if we do hang out again, I am not sure how giving her the cold shoulder is going to benefit me. Either way, I still definitely have some feelings for Samsonite and want to see her again.