Happenings Lately

Mya and I were talking one night and somehow, the subject of this blog came up.  It was a bit awkward, since I really didn't want to tell Mya much about it.  Nevertheless, Smash had told Mya about this blog before I even met Mya (thanks Smash, jerk!).  Anyway, Mya wasn't too bugged about the blog but she wasn't exactly super enthused about it either.  It's understandable that she would be a little uncomfortable about me broadcasting all of the details about our dates.  But when she realized it was anonymous, I think that made her feel a little better.  Anyway, due to that conversation, I have been more hesitant to blog about every minor detail about our relationship.

Over the past few weeks, Mya has had the opportunity to meet most of my family members.  We were both pretty nervous about her meeting them the first time.  It was at littlesister's house for a birthday party.  We decided that LittleMya would probably have a lot of fun so we brought her along.  Everything seemed to go well.  My family liked Mya, although the comment they made the most about her was that she was very quiet.  I didn't get any weird emails from my mom the day after about how weird it was for me to bring a girl to a family party (like I got a year ago with Wonder).  I didn't get any emails from my dad about how to choose a wife (other than the typical emails that I regularly get from him on the subject - nothing specific about Mya).  I didn't get any comments from littlesister about how I am an idiot for dating Mya.  So I felt pretty good.  And Mya did really well.  Everyone liked her and she didn't seem awkward around my family.

Since then, Mya and I have settled into dating.  About half our dates include LittleMya.  Sometimes I get a bit frustrated because I worry about biting off more than I can chew (e.g., becoming a bit of an instant dad).  Sometimes I get really scared when LittleMya hurts herself and wants nothing to do with me.  For the most part though, things are really good.  When I show up to pick up Mya, LittleMya comes running up yelling my name and she gives me a big hug.  Over the weekend, we went to a drag racing event and LittleMya chose to sit on my lap the entire time rather than on her mom's lap.  Sometimes I wish that Mya and I could spend more time together without LittleMya but I totally understand that they are a package deal.  

Overall, things are going well.  I still like Mya a lot.  I enjoy kissing her and I enjoy talking to her and I enjoy just hanging out with her.  We are going to spend the upcoming holiday together at my parents' house and I am going to LittleMya's birthday party on Friday.  

An Acknowledged Relationship

On Friday night, Mya and I took her little brother out to dinner.  Her sister was supposed to come as well but canceled at the last minute.  After dinner, Mya and I went to a bar with Platinum.  The moment we got there, I started feeling super tired.  I had just about had enough of Platinum for the evening.  Even though she was in the happiest mood that I had ever seen her in, my patience was just wearing thin.  Mya immediately noticed it and became very worried that I was upset at her.  I guess I kinda was, just a little, for being such good friends with Platinum and getting me involved in situations with trashy people that I wasn't always excited about being involved in.  

See, the night before while we were at the baseball game, Platinum wasn't feeling well.  So she drove to the emergency room (but not the one that is close to her apartment, that would make too much sense, she had to drive to one clear across town).  Then, we had to take LittlePlatinum up there after the game.  And now, only 1 day later, Platinum was going out to a bar?  After sitting down for a little bit and having a big glass of water, I calmed down and stopped worrying about it so much.  Still, there were a couple of times while we were sitting there that I thought to myself "What have I gotten myself into?"  

On Saturday, I met up with Mya and LittleMya and Platinum and LittlePlatinum at Platinum's ex-husband's apartment complex pool.  It was fun, albeit a bit trashy.  And LittlePlatinum was super clingy while we were there.  Mya and I both think that LittlePlatinum has been getting much brattier lately and we are both concerned.  Mya thinks we shouldn't plan any activities with LittlePlatinum for awhile.  It kinda feels like with LittlePlatinum's family situation, no matter what we do, she is going to just get more screwed up.  

On Sunday, I went over to Mya's for a movie.  We had a real great discussion while sitting on her front lawn looking at the moon.  We talked about going exclusive (since some people had referred to me as her boyfriend and to her as my girlfriend) and basically decided that we were boyfriend and girlfriend.  It was nice and just felt very natural.  So for the moment, Mya and I are in an acknowledged relationship!

Drive

Sunday was Mya's little brother's mission farewell.  So we met up and headed to church.  It was fun.  He gave a great talk and I got to meet some of Mya's family (and play with LittleMya).  I think most of them liked me (although only one of her siblings was there - but she hasn't said anything bad about me yet, which Mya says is a very good sign).  Playing with the kids (some cousins) at the house after wore me out though!  I am used to being the fun uncle that can show up, rile the kids up, and then leave when I get tired.

On Monday, for Memorial day, I gave Mya a list of potential activities that her and LittleMya and I could do.  LittleMya chose a rodeo.  It ended up being a lot of fun.  LittleMya and I had a lot of fun together; she kept wanting to sit on my lap or sit between Mya and I.  I am not sure exactly how much to involve LittleMya in our dating.  I want her to get to know me and we definitely have fun playing together.  But when she gets tired, she becomes very shy with me and doesn't want me to give her any attention.  Mya says it's just her being a 3 year old.

On Thursday, Milo, MrsMilo, LittleMrsMilo, Mya, LittleMya, LittlePlatinum and I went to a baseball game.  It was fun (although the kids mostly just wanted to run around on the grass, they didn't care that a baseball game was going on).  The kids basically see me as a jungle gym and they are constantly climbing on me.  They had a balloon and I ended up blowing it up at least 10 times so that they could each have a turn holding it and letting it go to watch it zip around as the air was released.  LittlePlatinum was particularly bratty that night.  I really think she doesn't get enough attention at home.  But at times, it made me wonder if I have what it takes to be a good father.  It definitely made me worry a little about being thrust into fatherhood and whether I could handle it day in and day out.  Still, I had a lot of fun with Mya.  We have lots to talk about and we already have a bunch of inside jokes.

Dates 4, 5 and 6

On Tuesday, I found out that the baseball game was not going to be during the regular time.  So Mya and I decided to take the girls to Chuck E. Cheese.  I haven't been there in approximately 25 years so I wasn't sure what to expect.  I could tell that LittleMya was a bit unsure about what I was doing going with them.  But her good friend LittlePlatinum was there, so I didn't think it made a big difference.  The girls had lots of fun watching the robots sing and dance and they loved the games.  I tried to teach LittleMya how to play skeeball but she smacked her hand while trying to throw the ball (and cut her finger).  She gave me this look like "You did this to me! Stay away from my mommie!"  It was a bit disconcerting, even coming from a 3 year old.

As we were leaving, Platinum called and was upset because LittlePlatinum's dad had come to pick her up and we weren't there (I didn't know we were even supposed to be back at a certain time).  So that made things very awkward.  He looked pretty mad and although it wasn't my fault, I felt pretty certain he was assigning a high percentage of the blame to me.  After we dropped LittlePlatinum off, Mya, LittleMya and I drove over to my house for just a bit so that Mya could see it.  She seemed very impressed.  I definitely wondered what was going through her mind though.  Was she imaging it being her house?

I dropped Mya off at her car.  After putting LittleMya in the backseat, Mya and I had a nice kiss (with LittleMya banging on the window impatiently...).  Even though I felt really good about the date, I also felt exhausted.  I spent most of the night worried that LittleMya didn't like me and was never going to like me (unlike LittleMya, LittlePlatinum basically attached herself to me from day one and always wants to hold my hand - probably because she thinks she will get ice cream out of me).  LittleMya has definitely been more standoffish.  She loves to give me five as long as I say "Ouch" really loud after she does it.  But other than that, she seems mostly content to ignore me.  And I definitely worry about trying too hard to win over LittleMya.

On Wednesday, I went over to Mya's house to watch a movie.  I think LittleMya could sense that I was over because she woke up several times (which Mya says she never does) and Mya had to keep getting up.  It wasn't a big deal but it definitely made me wonder if I was the evil guy dating the mother that the daughter was trying to scare off (see The Parent Trap).

On Saturday, it was Platinum's birthday.  Smash and Mya invited me to go dancing with them.  We were having fun dancing when Platinum got very dramatic (probably because she was drunk) and needed to leave.  So Mya and I took her home and then went back to my house.  We ended up hanging out at my house talking until 4 in the morning.  We just had so much to talk about.  It was a great night.  Even after Mya left, I found myself wishing she was still there.

Fourth date with Mya rating: 7
Fifth date with Mya rating: 7
Sixth date with Mya rating: 10

You and me and all other people

On Saturday, I had my third date with Mya.  On Friday night, I was hanging out with Milo, RunsWithScissors and my friend Chimichanga and they started making me very nervous about the date.  Milo was "dropping some knowledge" on me, as he is prone to do, about how I don't have enough mystery with Mya.  I spent most of Saturday thinking about whether I need to change the way I act at all around Mya to try and get her to be more interested in me (I think this could be defined as "playing games").  I wouldn't know how to pull something like that off even if I wanted to.  Ultimately, I decided to just be myself.  If I sent texts to Mya that were too cute or too sweet, it was just me being me and if it was too much and she gets scared off, then I guess we don't have as much chemistry as I thought we did.  Thankfully, thus far Mya seems to really accept me for who I am.  I am sure part of it is because Mya is a single mother.  She is more real than most of the girls I date.  She has to be.  Five years ago, I am not sure we would have been compatible at all. But now, it just seems to work.

I decided to take Mya to my favorite Indian restaurant and then to a small venue concert.  The dinner was excellent; we made jokes with each other and never ran out of things to talk about.  Oh, and Mya looked spectacular.  After dinner, we drove over to the concert.  As we were getting out of the car, Mya realized that she had forgotten her ID.  Unfazed, we drove out to Platinum's house to pick it up.  I got to meet LittleMya there.  LittlePlatinum was immediately super excited to see me and I think it helped my case with LittleMya.  I played with the girls for a few minutes (they would slap my hands like they were giving me five and then I would exclaim "ouch!" which they loved).  Not that I was acting any different around them than I would any kids, but I think Mya was impressed.  We made it to the concert and had a lovely time.  We held hands through most of the concert and I must say, I was having the time of my life.  The music was good.  I had the prettiest girl in the world sitting next to me.  I had a full belly of Indian food.

After the concert, we drove back to Platinum's.  Smash and Platinum and a few other people were there (the girls were asleep).  Mya acted like she wanted to stay awhile.  So we sat on the couch and talked. It was great.  It was the first casual time we spent together.  Just sitting on the couch talking and joking and holding hands.  Finally, I decided it was pretty late (we had lost track of time) so I helped Mya load LittleMya into her car.  Then Mya came over and gave me such a great hug.  I pulled away and kissed her!  It was only a closed mouth kiss for maybe 5 or 6 seconds but it was absolutely amazing.  It left me feeling giddy in the way only a first kiss with lots of spark can do.

Third date with Mya rating: 10
Possibility of a fourth date with Mya: Very High (Scheduled for Tuesday evening, we are taking LittleMya and LittlePlatinum to a baseball game)

Somewhere With You

On Wednesday, I had my second date with Mya.  Again, for whatever reason, I was super nervous beforehand.  I worried about running out of things to talk about.  I worried about saying something dumb.  Because it was a Wednesday night, I couldn't pick Mya up until after young mens.  So I got to her place at 8:30.  A date starting that late made dinner unwise.  So I didn't really have a solid plan.  I was going to take her to get ice cream and then maybe sit in the park and talk.

As we started out driving, it occurred to me that the house I lived in from when I was born to when I was 5 was nearby.  I called my dad and found the address and we began our search.   I was surprised how familiar some of the neighborhood was and how unfamiliar the house was.  I didn't recognize it hardly at all.  It was dark out and not in the nicest of neighborhoods so Mya and I decided it was best to not knock on the door and ask to see the house.

We went to Dairy Queen and got some ice cream and then found a park.  I had a couple of blankets, so we climbed up in the playground and sat and talked.  I think we ended up sitting there talking for over 2 hours.  I didn't get the impression that Mya was bored (ugh, I hope she wasn't bored!).  We talked about her marriage and what went wrong.  We talked about what Mya wanted in the future.  I just felt like we had a lot of the same goals.  And of course, our humor just matches up.  We seem to get each other's jokes, which I really like.      As I thought about it, sitting in the park next to Mya with an ice cream cone talking, I was having the time of my life.  I was almost giddy.  On the drive home, we held hands.  I initiated it and worried instantly that maybe I had moved too soon.  But Mya held my hand back.  We got to her house and shared a great hug.  As we pulled away, the thought of kissing her was all that was on my mind.  But as we pulled away, her head was turned looking at her house.  Maybe it was a sign she wasn't ready to kiss me.  Maybe she thought someone was watching from the house.  Either way, no kiss.

On Thursday, Mya and I texted throughout the day.  We ask each other random questions.  Her random question was about me being LDS.  She wanted to know how involved I was and how much being LDS influenced my life.  After I told her, she told me that she likes a lot of things about the LDS church but there are a couple of things she doesn't think she can believe.  I wanted to ask her what those things were but I decided it was better to wait and let her tell me whenever she is ready.  I will admit, a part of me was hoping that Mya would want to join the church and that we could live happily ever after.  I guess mostly I was thinking of logistics.  Could I have a serious relationship with a girl that wasn't Mormon?  What sort of problems might it create in my life?  Even though I don't have all the answers, I told Mya that it didn't bother me that she wasn't Mormon.  Why?  Because Mya is solid.  She has more morals and values and personality than most Mormon girls I meet.  She is an excellent mom and I know she would be an excellent wife.  She is hard working and sensible and practical but has big dreams and high hopes.  In other words, she is amazing.

Second date with Mya rating: 9
Possibility of a third date with Mya: Very High (Scheduled for Saturday)

Hands Down or FireCracker was a dud!

I thought this week that I wanted to go on a third date with FireCracker.  In fact, I was sure of it.  So we texted and I thought for sure we would go out and it would be fun.  And instead, FireCracker texted me to say she didn't think we should go out again.  Ever.  Her reasoning: I seemed really agitated with her on our first two dates and she didn't think it would be a good idea to go out again.  Translation: none given.  I am sure I was a little too intense for FireCracker.  But in my defense, she was equally intense.  My guess is that what she really wants is a guy that she can kinda walk over and control.  I can see her ad on a dating website now: single red haired female seeks low-intensity male or shag rug.  Send pictures of rug.

Anyway, so I moved on.  Besides, I had a date coming up with Mya.  When we first started texting, Mya was so incredibly cool.  She has a wit that lines up with my wit.  A couple of times, I laughed out loud at her response to my texts.  And, in general, Mya seemed very interested in going on a date with me.  We settled on Saturday.  During the day Saturday, I helped our mutual friend Smash move.  And Mya was there.  And she looked amazing.  And I looked like garbage.  Hadn't showered.  We only said hi for just a second (because I didn't want Mya to think I was lazy, I worked extra hard helping with the move).

Prior to the date, I was super nervous.  In fact, all week I was as nervous as I have ever been about a first date.  Would I be able to make Mya laugh at all?  Would she reject me during the first date or wait to do so via text after?  Would our difference in values cause tension?  Luckily, during the week, Mya informed me that her little brother was going on a mission soon.  How is this relevant?  It meant being Mormon wasn't a super weird thing to her.  In fact, she might have grown up in a Mormon household.  Don't jump to conclusions, I am not saying I am trying to change Mya.  Just that from the beginning, Mya has represented a kind of hope that has been absent from my life for quite some time.  Mya represented a real possibility that I could find someone I felt super comfortable with and have my happy-ever-after ending.  Or something like that.  So the fact that Mya's little brother was going on a mission brightened my prospects considerably.

I knocked on the door.  I was nervous.  And Mya answered and she looked amazing.  So pretty.  She invited me in for a second and I met her little brother.  He was super cool.  And I think I made a good impression (always important).  I decided to take Mya to my favorite Thai food place because I knew she was a vegetarian.  On the drive there, the conversation just flowed.  During dinner, the conversation just flowed.  We got dessert at this little french pastry shop and the conversation just flowed.  Mya ordered a Lemon Mousse and after I tasted it, I proclaimed, "I have had glasses of lemonade that were less lemony than this!" Her response? "I have had lemons that were less lemony than this!  It was probably the funniest thing a girl has ever said to me on a date (as in funny-ha ha, not funny-weird, I have had plenty of funny-weird things said).

Rather than make it a marathon date, after dessert we headed back to her house.  We were driving and it somehow came up that Mya really liked fast cars.  I think she was commenting on my car ("why didn't I buy that corvette convertible?" kept running through my head) and I asked if she would like to drive.  She didn't even hesitate.  Within two minutes, she was at the wheel.  And you could tell she was having tons of fun driving.  She sped and the conversation just flowed.  In hindsight, this worked particularly well because it allowed Mya to dictate when the date ended.  Well, sorta.  After over an hour of cruising around, I suggested that we get her home.  Who knows?  She might have kept driving all night.  And maybe I should have let her.

At the doorstop, I wanted to kiss her badly.  She just seemed so accessible and interested.  I gave her a hug instead and we both made it clear that we should do something like this again soon.  I waited around to make sure the garage code worked (gentlemanly) and then gave her a hug.  On the drive home, I was so excited.  I had just been on one of those great dates.

On Sunday, I was hanging out with Platinum's daughter LittlePlatinum (7 years old) and we were talking about Mya.  LittlePlatinum said to me "you aren't good enough for Mya," which I found quite funny (and possibly a bit true).  When pressed to why she said that, she replied "because you are too tall for her."  LittlePlatinum also made a keen observation about Mya's daughter, saying "You can't be her daddy, cause she already has a daddy."  It broke my heart just a little.  For the record, I am not trying to be anyone's daddy.  I am just trying to be the best me that I can be.  I think I won LittlePlatinum over but I won't know what things she said to Mya today about me (since Mya was picking her up from school).  I made a couple of suggestions like "Tripp Hazard is really cool," and "Tripp played barbies with me and let me play on his phone," but I think she will end up saying "Tripp wants to makeout with you," or "Tripp wants to marry you."

First date with Mya rating: 9
Possibility of a second date with Mya: Very High (Wednesday of this week).