Hands Down or FireCracker was a dud!

I thought this week that I wanted to go on a third date with FireCracker.  In fact, I was sure of it.  So we texted and I thought for sure we would go out and it would be fun.  And instead, FireCracker texted me to say she didn't think we should go out again.  Ever.  Her reasoning: I seemed really agitated with her on our first two dates and she didn't think it would be a good idea to go out again.  Translation: none given.  I am sure I was a little too intense for FireCracker.  But in my defense, she was equally intense.  My guess is that what she really wants is a guy that she can kinda walk over and control.  I can see her ad on a dating website now: single red haired female seeks low-intensity male or shag rug.  Send pictures of rug.

Anyway, so I moved on.  Besides, I had a date coming up with Mya.  When we first started texting, Mya was so incredibly cool.  She has a wit that lines up with my wit.  A couple of times, I laughed out loud at her response to my texts.  And, in general, Mya seemed very interested in going on a date with me.  We settled on Saturday.  During the day Saturday, I helped our mutual friend Smash move.  And Mya was there.  And she looked amazing.  And I looked like garbage.  Hadn't showered.  We only said hi for just a second (because I didn't want Mya to think I was lazy, I worked extra hard helping with the move).

Prior to the date, I was super nervous.  In fact, all week I was as nervous as I have ever been about a first date.  Would I be able to make Mya laugh at all?  Would she reject me during the first date or wait to do so via text after?  Would our difference in values cause tension?  Luckily, during the week, Mya informed me that her little brother was going on a mission soon.  How is this relevant?  It meant being Mormon wasn't a super weird thing to her.  In fact, she might have grown up in a Mormon household.  Don't jump to conclusions, I am not saying I am trying to change Mya.  Just that from the beginning, Mya has represented a kind of hope that has been absent from my life for quite some time.  Mya represented a real possibility that I could find someone I felt super comfortable with and have my happy-ever-after ending.  Or something like that.  So the fact that Mya's little brother was going on a mission brightened my prospects considerably.

I knocked on the door.  I was nervous.  And Mya answered and she looked amazing.  So pretty.  She invited me in for a second and I met her little brother.  He was super cool.  And I think I made a good impression (always important).  I decided to take Mya to my favorite Thai food place because I knew she was a vegetarian.  On the drive there, the conversation just flowed.  During dinner, the conversation just flowed.  We got dessert at this little french pastry shop and the conversation just flowed.  Mya ordered a Lemon Mousse and after I tasted it, I proclaimed, "I have had glasses of lemonade that were less lemony than this!" Her response? "I have had lemons that were less lemony than this!  It was probably the funniest thing a girl has ever said to me on a date (as in funny-ha ha, not funny-weird, I have had plenty of funny-weird things said).

Rather than make it a marathon date, after dessert we headed back to her house.  We were driving and it somehow came up that Mya really liked fast cars.  I think she was commenting on my car ("why didn't I buy that corvette convertible?" kept running through my head) and I asked if she would like to drive.  She didn't even hesitate.  Within two minutes, she was at the wheel.  And you could tell she was having tons of fun driving.  She sped and the conversation just flowed.  In hindsight, this worked particularly well because it allowed Mya to dictate when the date ended.  Well, sorta.  After over an hour of cruising around, I suggested that we get her home.  Who knows?  She might have kept driving all night.  And maybe I should have let her.

At the doorstop, I wanted to kiss her badly.  She just seemed so accessible and interested.  I gave her a hug instead and we both made it clear that we should do something like this again soon.  I waited around to make sure the garage code worked (gentlemanly) and then gave her a hug.  On the drive home, I was so excited.  I had just been on one of those great dates.

On Sunday, I was hanging out with Platinum's daughter LittlePlatinum (7 years old) and we were talking about Mya.  LittlePlatinum said to me "you aren't good enough for Mya," which I found quite funny (and possibly a bit true).  When pressed to why she said that, she replied "because you are too tall for her."  LittlePlatinum also made a keen observation about Mya's daughter, saying "You can't be her daddy, cause she already has a daddy."  It broke my heart just a little.  For the record, I am not trying to be anyone's daddy.  I am just trying to be the best me that I can be.  I think I won LittlePlatinum over but I won't know what things she said to Mya today about me (since Mya was picking her up from school).  I made a couple of suggestions like "Tripp Hazard is really cool," and "Tripp played barbies with me and let me play on his phone," but I think she will end up saying "Tripp wants to makeout with you," or "Tripp wants to marry you."

First date with Mya rating: 9
Possibility of a second date with Mya: Very High (Wednesday of this week).

A First Date with No Conversation

On Wednesday, I received a text from House asking me to go to a reception with her.  I was very surprised to hear from her.  So I adjusted my schedule and headed to this hoity toity event with her that night.  It was kinda weird seeing her (since it had been about 15 months since I last saw her).  But we both had a ton of fun.  We laughed and joked.  I admitted something to myself that night though.  I have a ton of fun with House and I am sure we would be extremely happy if we got married.  But, I am not in love with her.  And I am not sure if I ever could be.  Love isn't something you can force.  And it isn't something I would want to force even if I could.

On Saturday, I had a date with Fob.  A year or two ago, I signed up for a free online dating site.  And then forgot about it.  So Fob found me on the site and we started messaging.  I could tell that she was using a translator (because Fob has only been in the country from Brazil for like 2 months) but I thought maybe she had a decent understanding of the English language.  I was wrong.

My first sign that things might not go well was when we talked on the phone for the first time.  It was obvious there was a huge communications gap between us.  In fact, to give me her address, she had to have her uncle come on the phone and talk to me.  Also, the fact that she is 18 should have concerned me.  Nevertheless, I showed up to pick her up on Saturday night.  Her uncle was there and he seemed like a nice enough guy.  Fob was cute but I was less attracted to her in person than in her pictures.  Then, in a strange twist, her aunt and uncle decided to come to dinner with us.  And they decided we should go to Sizzler.

Now, I haven't stepped foot into a Sizzler for quite a few years, but it isn't exactly a super nice restaurant.  For one, you have to wait in line to order.  I get to the front and Fob and I have not really communicated well what it is that she wants.  Since she basically speaks no English, I have to kind of try and order for her.  Her aunt helped a little but she was kind of a spaz.  Fun fact: did you know that you can get cashback at Sizzler to use towards your tip of the waitress?  I did not.  But now I do.

Dinner was rough.  If I asked Fob a question, she pretty much couldn't understand what I was saying.  So I was forced to talk to her aunt and uncle, which was kind of rude.  They have been to Sizzler before (Plan: order steaks and the salad bar (you thus get a major discount on the salad bar) and then change your mind to get the dinner to go (since you have filled up on the salad bar) once you are at the table).  After dinner, Fob and I decided to see a movie (she claimed she could understand movies well, but I seriously doubt it).  I considered taking her right home but felt like it would be more awkward to take her home directly after dinner than to do some kind of non-talking activity.  After the movie, I took her home. It was awkward.  No, it was worse than awkward, it was actually a little bit painful.

On Monday, I had a second date with FireCracker.  I decided to take her to my favorite Thai place.  The food was excellent and the conversation was super easy with FireCracker.  When I was younger, my dad would occasionally take one of the kids on a "date night."  We always really looked forward to this, because we got to do whatever we wanted (telling that story makes me feel like I grew up in a polygamist household, but no, I did not).  I distinctly remember my dad and I going to the airport and watching airplanes take off and land.  So I decided to take FireCracker on the same activity.  We drove around quite a bit before we ended up on a deserted road in the back of the airport between the runways.  It was perfect (assuming it was legal, which I can't be sure of).  We sat on the back of my car and just talked while planes took off and landed.  (Note: this activity would not have gone well with Fob).  FireCracker and I have a lot in common.  We are able to just sit and talk for long periods.  It helps that she razzes me every once in awhile.  It kept things interesting.  At some time during the date, I even thought about kissing her.  But ultimately decided against it.  Nevertheless, I had a lot of fun on my date with FireCracker.

I decided to finally message Mya (since Smash was never going to give me her number).  I was so nervous.  Surprisingly, Mya emailed me back last night.  It was funny and nice and exactly what I needed to boost my confidence a little.  She gave me her number. For whatever reason, I am so drawn to Mya.  So hopefully there is a first date in the future for that.

First date with Fob rating: 3
Possibility of a second date with Fob: Very Low

Second date with FireCracker rating: 8
Possibility of a third date with FireCracker: Very High

Multiple dates and a new crush

On Thursday, I had a blind date with FireCracker. I was actually set up with FireCracker by Dee. When we talked on the phone, I could tell that FireCracker and I would at the very least get along very well. Her personality reminded me of BFF. Since I had never seen a picture of FireCracker, I was definitely a bit nervous. So when I knocked on the door, my first thought was "great, she has a cute roommate that answered the door." As it turned out, that cute roommate ended up being FireCracker. Due to our phone conversations, I brought a list of awkward conversation topics. After ordering (per my suggestion, she ordered the octopus!), we got right into the awkward conversations. I loved it. The conversation was easy and never forced.

After dinner, we went back to my house to watch my skydiving video. FireCracker was mostly impressed with my house (although she did mock me for having an entire room full of African safari stuff).

My biggest concern with FireCracker was that even though I thought she was cute, I wasn't sure if she was cute enough. Like that I would enjoy spending time with her but I wasn't enamored by her looks. Personality wise, we just clicked.

On Friday, I had a third date with Basketball. We went to the baseball game. It was fun but I spent a good portion of the night wondering if Basketball and I are at all on the same page. We had some very interesting conversations and I know that she had fun (as did I) but the romance is not kicking in at all.

On Saturday, Milo and I met up with Smash and some of her friends to go to the casino. We took the bus there. One of Smash's friends immediately caught my eye; her name was Mya. Early on, Mya mentioned that she had a child. But Smash told me that Mya was sorta divorced (but not really, for insurance purposes). A little later in the evening, as Mya and I were sitting next to each other playing Blackjack and talking, I thought that she seemed really cool. Within an hour of that, I had developed a huge crush on her. It's hard to explain why. After all, Mya is not really what I traditionally want in my life. She has some tattoos. She isn't Mormon. She has a husband...

But on Sunday, she was all I thought about. And even though she hadn't given me the slightest indication that she would ever be interested in dating me (in fact, she told Smash that Smash and I should get married), I felt what I hadn't really felt in a long time: Hope. I have talked before about the X factor that I want to feel for a girl. And how I struggle finding that. And looking at Mya, I realized that part of me must be rebelling against what everyone tells me would be good for me. In college, I just sort of fell into my major. And then I just sorta fell into law school. In fact, I just sorta fell into my current job. So, there is a part of me that really feels like I haven't been making enough decisions about my own life. And so even though Mya is probably totally wrong for me (although all I have been thinking is about how right for me she seems), I want this decision to be my decision and no one else's. Hence my frustration with dating. In general, I keep going out with the same type of LDS girls that meet the minimum requirements but that aren't my first pick. So for now, I have a hope that I could spend more time with Mya. Without worrying about marriage and children and family and religion, I just want to spend more time with her.

First date with FireCracker rating: 7

Possibility of a second date with FireCracker: High

Third date with Basketball rating: 5

Possibility of a fourth date with Basketball: Medium to Low