Drive

Sunday was Mya's little brother's mission farewell.  So we met up and headed to church.  It was fun.  He gave a great talk and I got to meet some of Mya's family (and play with LittleMya).  I think most of them liked me (although only one of her siblings was there - but she hasn't said anything bad about me yet, which Mya says is a very good sign).  Playing with the kids (some cousins) at the house after wore me out though!  I am used to being the fun uncle that can show up, rile the kids up, and then leave when I get tired.

On Monday, for Memorial day, I gave Mya a list of potential activities that her and LittleMya and I could do.  LittleMya chose a rodeo.  It ended up being a lot of fun.  LittleMya and I had a lot of fun together; she kept wanting to sit on my lap or sit between Mya and I.  I am not sure exactly how much to involve LittleMya in our dating.  I want her to get to know me and we definitely have fun playing together.  But when she gets tired, she becomes very shy with me and doesn't want me to give her any attention.  Mya says it's just her being a 3 year old.

On Thursday, Milo, MrsMilo, LittleMrsMilo, Mya, LittleMya, LittlePlatinum and I went to a baseball game.  It was fun (although the kids mostly just wanted to run around on the grass, they didn't care that a baseball game was going on).  The kids basically see me as a jungle gym and they are constantly climbing on me.  They had a balloon and I ended up blowing it up at least 10 times so that they could each have a turn holding it and letting it go to watch it zip around as the air was released.  LittlePlatinum was particularly bratty that night.  I really think she doesn't get enough attention at home.  But at times, it made me wonder if I have what it takes to be a good father.  It definitely made me worry a little about being thrust into fatherhood and whether I could handle it day in and day out.  Still, I had a lot of fun with Mya.  We have lots to talk about and we already have a bunch of inside jokes.

Dates 4, 5 and 6

On Tuesday, I found out that the baseball game was not going to be during the regular time.  So Mya and I decided to take the girls to Chuck E. Cheese.  I haven't been there in approximately 25 years so I wasn't sure what to expect.  I could tell that LittleMya was a bit unsure about what I was doing going with them.  But her good friend LittlePlatinum was there, so I didn't think it made a big difference.  The girls had lots of fun watching the robots sing and dance and they loved the games.  I tried to teach LittleMya how to play skeeball but she smacked her hand while trying to throw the ball (and cut her finger).  She gave me this look like "You did this to me! Stay away from my mommie!"  It was a bit disconcerting, even coming from a 3 year old.

As we were leaving, Platinum called and was upset because LittlePlatinum's dad had come to pick her up and we weren't there (I didn't know we were even supposed to be back at a certain time).  So that made things very awkward.  He looked pretty mad and although it wasn't my fault, I felt pretty certain he was assigning a high percentage of the blame to me.  After we dropped LittlePlatinum off, Mya, LittleMya and I drove over to my house for just a bit so that Mya could see it.  She seemed very impressed.  I definitely wondered what was going through her mind though.  Was she imaging it being her house?

I dropped Mya off at her car.  After putting LittleMya in the backseat, Mya and I had a nice kiss (with LittleMya banging on the window impatiently...).  Even though I felt really good about the date, I also felt exhausted.  I spent most of the night worried that LittleMya didn't like me and was never going to like me (unlike LittleMya, LittlePlatinum basically attached herself to me from day one and always wants to hold my hand - probably because she thinks she will get ice cream out of me).  LittleMya has definitely been more standoffish.  She loves to give me five as long as I say "Ouch" really loud after she does it.  But other than that, she seems mostly content to ignore me.  And I definitely worry about trying too hard to win over LittleMya.

On Wednesday, I went over to Mya's house to watch a movie.  I think LittleMya could sense that I was over because she woke up several times (which Mya says she never does) and Mya had to keep getting up.  It wasn't a big deal but it definitely made me wonder if I was the evil guy dating the mother that the daughter was trying to scare off (see The Parent Trap).

On Saturday, it was Platinum's birthday.  Smash and Mya invited me to go dancing with them.  We were having fun dancing when Platinum got very dramatic (probably because she was drunk) and needed to leave.  So Mya and I took her home and then went back to my house.  We ended up hanging out at my house talking until 4 in the morning.  We just had so much to talk about.  It was a great night.  Even after Mya left, I found myself wishing she was still there.

Fourth date with Mya rating: 7
Fifth date with Mya rating: 7
Sixth date with Mya rating: 10

You and me and all other people

On Saturday, I had my third date with Mya.  On Friday night, I was hanging out with Milo, RunsWithScissors and my friend Chimichanga and they started making me very nervous about the date.  Milo was "dropping some knowledge" on me, as he is prone to do, about how I don't have enough mystery with Mya.  I spent most of Saturday thinking about whether I need to change the way I act at all around Mya to try and get her to be more interested in me (I think this could be defined as "playing games").  I wouldn't know how to pull something like that off even if I wanted to.  Ultimately, I decided to just be myself.  If I sent texts to Mya that were too cute or too sweet, it was just me being me and if it was too much and she gets scared off, then I guess we don't have as much chemistry as I thought we did.  Thankfully, thus far Mya seems to really accept me for who I am.  I am sure part of it is because Mya is a single mother.  She is more real than most of the girls I date.  She has to be.  Five years ago, I am not sure we would have been compatible at all. But now, it just seems to work.

I decided to take Mya to my favorite Indian restaurant and then to a small venue concert.  The dinner was excellent; we made jokes with each other and never ran out of things to talk about.  Oh, and Mya looked spectacular.  After dinner, we drove over to the concert.  As we were getting out of the car, Mya realized that she had forgotten her ID.  Unfazed, we drove out to Platinum's house to pick it up.  I got to meet LittleMya there.  LittlePlatinum was immediately super excited to see me and I think it helped my case with LittleMya.  I played with the girls for a few minutes (they would slap my hands like they were giving me five and then I would exclaim "ouch!" which they loved).  Not that I was acting any different around them than I would any kids, but I think Mya was impressed.  We made it to the concert and had a lovely time.  We held hands through most of the concert and I must say, I was having the time of my life.  The music was good.  I had the prettiest girl in the world sitting next to me.  I had a full belly of Indian food.

After the concert, we drove back to Platinum's.  Smash and Platinum and a few other people were there (the girls were asleep).  Mya acted like she wanted to stay awhile.  So we sat on the couch and talked. It was great.  It was the first casual time we spent together.  Just sitting on the couch talking and joking and holding hands.  Finally, I decided it was pretty late (we had lost track of time) so I helped Mya load LittleMya into her car.  Then Mya came over and gave me such a great hug.  I pulled away and kissed her!  It was only a closed mouth kiss for maybe 5 or 6 seconds but it was absolutely amazing.  It left me feeling giddy in the way only a first kiss with lots of spark can do.

Third date with Mya rating: 10
Possibility of a fourth date with Mya: Very High (Scheduled for Tuesday evening, we are taking LittleMya and LittlePlatinum to a baseball game)

Somewhere With You

On Wednesday, I had my second date with Mya.  Again, for whatever reason, I was super nervous beforehand.  I worried about running out of things to talk about.  I worried about saying something dumb.  Because it was a Wednesday night, I couldn't pick Mya up until after young mens.  So I got to her place at 8:30.  A date starting that late made dinner unwise.  So I didn't really have a solid plan.  I was going to take her to get ice cream and then maybe sit in the park and talk.

As we started out driving, it occurred to me that the house I lived in from when I was born to when I was 5 was nearby.  I called my dad and found the address and we began our search.   I was surprised how familiar some of the neighborhood was and how unfamiliar the house was.  I didn't recognize it hardly at all.  It was dark out and not in the nicest of neighborhoods so Mya and I decided it was best to not knock on the door and ask to see the house.

We went to Dairy Queen and got some ice cream and then found a park.  I had a couple of blankets, so we climbed up in the playground and sat and talked.  I think we ended up sitting there talking for over 2 hours.  I didn't get the impression that Mya was bored (ugh, I hope she wasn't bored!).  We talked about her marriage and what went wrong.  We talked about what Mya wanted in the future.  I just felt like we had a lot of the same goals.  And of course, our humor just matches up.  We seem to get each other's jokes, which I really like.      As I thought about it, sitting in the park next to Mya with an ice cream cone talking, I was having the time of my life.  I was almost giddy.  On the drive home, we held hands.  I initiated it and worried instantly that maybe I had moved too soon.  But Mya held my hand back.  We got to her house and shared a great hug.  As we pulled away, the thought of kissing her was all that was on my mind.  But as we pulled away, her head was turned looking at her house.  Maybe it was a sign she wasn't ready to kiss me.  Maybe she thought someone was watching from the house.  Either way, no kiss.

On Thursday, Mya and I texted throughout the day.  We ask each other random questions.  Her random question was about me being LDS.  She wanted to know how involved I was and how much being LDS influenced my life.  After I told her, she told me that she likes a lot of things about the LDS church but there are a couple of things she doesn't think she can believe.  I wanted to ask her what those things were but I decided it was better to wait and let her tell me whenever she is ready.  I will admit, a part of me was hoping that Mya would want to join the church and that we could live happily ever after.  I guess mostly I was thinking of logistics.  Could I have a serious relationship with a girl that wasn't Mormon?  What sort of problems might it create in my life?  Even though I don't have all the answers, I told Mya that it didn't bother me that she wasn't Mormon.  Why?  Because Mya is solid.  She has more morals and values and personality than most Mormon girls I meet.  She is an excellent mom and I know she would be an excellent wife.  She is hard working and sensible and practical but has big dreams and high hopes.  In other words, she is amazing.

Second date with Mya rating: 9
Possibility of a third date with Mya: Very High (Scheduled for Saturday)

Hands Down or FireCracker was a dud!

I thought this week that I wanted to go on a third date with FireCracker.  In fact, I was sure of it.  So we texted and I thought for sure we would go out and it would be fun.  And instead, FireCracker texted me to say she didn't think we should go out again.  Ever.  Her reasoning: I seemed really agitated with her on our first two dates and she didn't think it would be a good idea to go out again.  Translation: none given.  I am sure I was a little too intense for FireCracker.  But in my defense, she was equally intense.  My guess is that what she really wants is a guy that she can kinda walk over and control.  I can see her ad on a dating website now: single red haired female seeks low-intensity male or shag rug.  Send pictures of rug.

Anyway, so I moved on.  Besides, I had a date coming up with Mya.  When we first started texting, Mya was so incredibly cool.  She has a wit that lines up with my wit.  A couple of times, I laughed out loud at her response to my texts.  And, in general, Mya seemed very interested in going on a date with me.  We settled on Saturday.  During the day Saturday, I helped our mutual friend Smash move.  And Mya was there.  And she looked amazing.  And I looked like garbage.  Hadn't showered.  We only said hi for just a second (because I didn't want Mya to think I was lazy, I worked extra hard helping with the move).

Prior to the date, I was super nervous.  In fact, all week I was as nervous as I have ever been about a first date.  Would I be able to make Mya laugh at all?  Would she reject me during the first date or wait to do so via text after?  Would our difference in values cause tension?  Luckily, during the week, Mya informed me that her little brother was going on a mission soon.  How is this relevant?  It meant being Mormon wasn't a super weird thing to her.  In fact, she might have grown up in a Mormon household.  Don't jump to conclusions, I am not saying I am trying to change Mya.  Just that from the beginning, Mya has represented a kind of hope that has been absent from my life for quite some time.  Mya represented a real possibility that I could find someone I felt super comfortable with and have my happy-ever-after ending.  Or something like that.  So the fact that Mya's little brother was going on a mission brightened my prospects considerably.

I knocked on the door.  I was nervous.  And Mya answered and she looked amazing.  So pretty.  She invited me in for a second and I met her little brother.  He was super cool.  And I think I made a good impression (always important).  I decided to take Mya to my favorite Thai food place because I knew she was a vegetarian.  On the drive there, the conversation just flowed.  During dinner, the conversation just flowed.  We got dessert at this little french pastry shop and the conversation just flowed.  Mya ordered a Lemon Mousse and after I tasted it, I proclaimed, "I have had glasses of lemonade that were less lemony than this!" Her response? "I have had lemons that were less lemony than this!  It was probably the funniest thing a girl has ever said to me on a date (as in funny-ha ha, not funny-weird, I have had plenty of funny-weird things said).

Rather than make it a marathon date, after dessert we headed back to her house.  We were driving and it somehow came up that Mya really liked fast cars.  I think she was commenting on my car ("why didn't I buy that corvette convertible?" kept running through my head) and I asked if she would like to drive.  She didn't even hesitate.  Within two minutes, she was at the wheel.  And you could tell she was having tons of fun driving.  She sped and the conversation just flowed.  In hindsight, this worked particularly well because it allowed Mya to dictate when the date ended.  Well, sorta.  After over an hour of cruising around, I suggested that we get her home.  Who knows?  She might have kept driving all night.  And maybe I should have let her.

At the doorstop, I wanted to kiss her badly.  She just seemed so accessible and interested.  I gave her a hug instead and we both made it clear that we should do something like this again soon.  I waited around to make sure the garage code worked (gentlemanly) and then gave her a hug.  On the drive home, I was so excited.  I had just been on one of those great dates.

On Sunday, I was hanging out with Platinum's daughter LittlePlatinum (7 years old) and we were talking about Mya.  LittlePlatinum said to me "you aren't good enough for Mya," which I found quite funny (and possibly a bit true).  When pressed to why she said that, she replied "because you are too tall for her."  LittlePlatinum also made a keen observation about Mya's daughter, saying "You can't be her daddy, cause she already has a daddy."  It broke my heart just a little.  For the record, I am not trying to be anyone's daddy.  I am just trying to be the best me that I can be.  I think I won LittlePlatinum over but I won't know what things she said to Mya today about me (since Mya was picking her up from school).  I made a couple of suggestions like "Tripp Hazard is really cool," and "Tripp played barbies with me and let me play on his phone," but I think she will end up saying "Tripp wants to makeout with you," or "Tripp wants to marry you."

First date with Mya rating: 9
Possibility of a second date with Mya: Very High (Wednesday of this week).

A First Date with No Conversation

On Wednesday, I received a text from House asking me to go to a reception with her.  I was very surprised to hear from her.  So I adjusted my schedule and headed to this hoity toity event with her that night.  It was kinda weird seeing her (since it had been about 15 months since I last saw her).  But we both had a ton of fun.  We laughed and joked.  I admitted something to myself that night though.  I have a ton of fun with House and I am sure we would be extremely happy if we got married.  But, I am not in love with her.  And I am not sure if I ever could be.  Love isn't something you can force.  And it isn't something I would want to force even if I could.

On Saturday, I had a date with Fob.  A year or two ago, I signed up for a free online dating site.  And then forgot about it.  So Fob found me on the site and we started messaging.  I could tell that she was using a translator (because Fob has only been in the country from Brazil for like 2 months) but I thought maybe she had a decent understanding of the English language.  I was wrong.

My first sign that things might not go well was when we talked on the phone for the first time.  It was obvious there was a huge communications gap between us.  In fact, to give me her address, she had to have her uncle come on the phone and talk to me.  Also, the fact that she is 18 should have concerned me.  Nevertheless, I showed up to pick her up on Saturday night.  Her uncle was there and he seemed like a nice enough guy.  Fob was cute but I was less attracted to her in person than in her pictures.  Then, in a strange twist, her aunt and uncle decided to come to dinner with us.  And they decided we should go to Sizzler.

Now, I haven't stepped foot into a Sizzler for quite a few years, but it isn't exactly a super nice restaurant.  For one, you have to wait in line to order.  I get to the front and Fob and I have not really communicated well what it is that she wants.  Since she basically speaks no English, I have to kind of try and order for her.  Her aunt helped a little but she was kind of a spaz.  Fun fact: did you know that you can get cashback at Sizzler to use towards your tip of the waitress?  I did not.  But now I do.

Dinner was rough.  If I asked Fob a question, she pretty much couldn't understand what I was saying.  So I was forced to talk to her aunt and uncle, which was kind of rude.  They have been to Sizzler before (Plan: order steaks and the salad bar (you thus get a major discount on the salad bar) and then change your mind to get the dinner to go (since you have filled up on the salad bar) once you are at the table).  After dinner, Fob and I decided to see a movie (she claimed she could understand movies well, but I seriously doubt it).  I considered taking her right home but felt like it would be more awkward to take her home directly after dinner than to do some kind of non-talking activity.  After the movie, I took her home. It was awkward.  No, it was worse than awkward, it was actually a little bit painful.

On Monday, I had a second date with FireCracker.  I decided to take her to my favorite Thai place.  The food was excellent and the conversation was super easy with FireCracker.  When I was younger, my dad would occasionally take one of the kids on a "date night."  We always really looked forward to this, because we got to do whatever we wanted (telling that story makes me feel like I grew up in a polygamist household, but no, I did not).  I distinctly remember my dad and I going to the airport and watching airplanes take off and land.  So I decided to take FireCracker on the same activity.  We drove around quite a bit before we ended up on a deserted road in the back of the airport between the runways.  It was perfect (assuming it was legal, which I can't be sure of).  We sat on the back of my car and just talked while planes took off and landed.  (Note: this activity would not have gone well with Fob).  FireCracker and I have a lot in common.  We are able to just sit and talk for long periods.  It helps that she razzes me every once in awhile.  It kept things interesting.  At some time during the date, I even thought about kissing her.  But ultimately decided against it.  Nevertheless, I had a lot of fun on my date with FireCracker.

I decided to finally message Mya (since Smash was never going to give me her number).  I was so nervous.  Surprisingly, Mya emailed me back last night.  It was funny and nice and exactly what I needed to boost my confidence a little.  She gave me her number. For whatever reason, I am so drawn to Mya.  So hopefully there is a first date in the future for that.

First date with Fob rating: 3
Possibility of a second date with Fob: Very Low

Second date with FireCracker rating: 8
Possibility of a third date with FireCracker: Very High

Multiple dates and a new crush

On Thursday, I had a blind date with FireCracker. I was actually set up with FireCracker by Dee. When we talked on the phone, I could tell that FireCracker and I would at the very least get along very well. Her personality reminded me of BFF. Since I had never seen a picture of FireCracker, I was definitely a bit nervous. So when I knocked on the door, my first thought was "great, she has a cute roommate that answered the door." As it turned out, that cute roommate ended up being FireCracker. Due to our phone conversations, I brought a list of awkward conversation topics. After ordering (per my suggestion, she ordered the octopus!), we got right into the awkward conversations. I loved it. The conversation was easy and never forced.

After dinner, we went back to my house to watch my skydiving video. FireCracker was mostly impressed with my house (although she did mock me for having an entire room full of African safari stuff).

My biggest concern with FireCracker was that even though I thought she was cute, I wasn't sure if she was cute enough. Like that I would enjoy spending time with her but I wasn't enamored by her looks. Personality wise, we just clicked.

On Friday, I had a third date with Basketball. We went to the baseball game. It was fun but I spent a good portion of the night wondering if Basketball and I are at all on the same page. We had some very interesting conversations and I know that she had fun (as did I) but the romance is not kicking in at all.

On Saturday, Milo and I met up with Smash and some of her friends to go to the casino. We took the bus there. One of Smash's friends immediately caught my eye; her name was Mya. Early on, Mya mentioned that she had a child. But Smash told me that Mya was sorta divorced (but not really, for insurance purposes). A little later in the evening, as Mya and I were sitting next to each other playing Blackjack and talking, I thought that she seemed really cool. Within an hour of that, I had developed a huge crush on her. It's hard to explain why. After all, Mya is not really what I traditionally want in my life. She has some tattoos. She isn't Mormon. She has a husband...

But on Sunday, she was all I thought about. And even though she hadn't given me the slightest indication that she would ever be interested in dating me (in fact, she told Smash that Smash and I should get married), I felt what I hadn't really felt in a long time: Hope. I have talked before about the X factor that I want to feel for a girl. And how I struggle finding that. And looking at Mya, I realized that part of me must be rebelling against what everyone tells me would be good for me. In college, I just sort of fell into my major. And then I just sorta fell into law school. In fact, I just sorta fell into my current job. So, there is a part of me that really feels like I haven't been making enough decisions about my own life. And so even though Mya is probably totally wrong for me (although all I have been thinking is about how right for me she seems), I want this decision to be my decision and no one else's. Hence my frustration with dating. In general, I keep going out with the same type of LDS girls that meet the minimum requirements but that aren't my first pick. So for now, I have a hope that I could spend more time with Mya. Without worrying about marriage and children and family and religion, I just want to spend more time with her.

First date with FireCracker rating: 7

Possibility of a second date with FireCracker: High

Third date with Basketball rating: 5

Possibility of a fourth date with Basketball: Medium to Low