Christmas Party

So Samsonite bailed on my work Christmas party. About the same time, I received a random phone call from Lolita. Lolita and I used to date several years ago and we have been friends ever since. Lolita had been dating a guy for the past two years and she told me they had broken up. While fretting over who to ask, Lolita kept coming up.

Background on Lolita: Lolita and I became fast friends while on a hiking trip that I attended with her older brother. A few nights into the trip, Lolita and I shared an unexpected kiss. We were both really attracted to each other but due to circumstance, a long term relationship was not possible. Still, I have always felt super comfortable with Lolita. So I called her up and asked her to go with me.

Lolita showed up looking fantastic. We headed off to the fancy restaurant. I knew Lolita could handle meeting all my coworkers and dealing with a long dinner party as my guest. And she did great. She didn't get jealous when I talked to my coworkers. She jumped in and agreed with me when I argued that adultery was considered less of a bad thing in this country than lying. It was good that Lolita was there because after the dinner, I felt super embarrassed that I had maybe spoken too loudly in front of the other attorneys or been obnoxious. I didn't have to worry because Lolita is not the kind of person that would ever judge me for that sort of behavior.

I didn't hear from Samsonite for over a week. I had a decision to make. Text/call her again and risk looking like the kind of guy that gets walked over or just let it die. I always lean a little more towards being the guy that gets walked over. So I sent her a text saying that even though she wasn't responding to my texts, I hoped things were going well for her and that I had fun when I was with her. She responded the next day with some bull excuse about how she had been so busy at work, she barely had time to breathe. At first, it seemed positive. I knew that she had been working 14 hour days and that she was under a lot of pressure. But then, I remembered that I had seen several facebook posts from her over the past week. And, she certainly didn't work on Sunday. So I decided to not text her back.

Spinning Wheels

On Friday, I had my second date with Tosh. We doubled with a couple in my ward. Tosh was pretty easy to talk to and seemed to have fun on the date. After dinner, we played a board game at my house. I learned on the date that Tosh is a huge sports fan. We actually had a very interesting conversation about our favorite sports teams. However, after the date, I haven't felt any interest in taking her out again. Perhaps it was the comments from the married couple that her and I just didn't seem to click. Or maybe it was just that while Tosh is cute, she isn't really what I want.

On Saturday, I ended up going over to Samsonite's house to watch a movie. We clicked a lot more than we had previously and ended up hanging out together until way late. 2:45 in the morning, to be more precise. We hung out again on Sunday night. I was feeling pretty good about things, so I asked her to my company Christmas party. She accepted and everything seemed good. Then last night, she texted and said her mom had given her a ticket to an event on the same night and she didn't feel like she could turn her mom down on them. I was extremely frustrated. First off, the event is not something cool. Second off, she had already made plans with me. Clearly I am not as high of a priority in her life as I thought I might be. Am I done with Samsonite because of this? Well, no. I still want to spend more time with her. But could something like that break a budding relationship? Absolutely. My interest in Samsonite has waned. And I find myself four days before the party without a date and not feeling like there is anyone I can ask.

Worst Date Ever (but not what you think) or An unexpected second date

On Thursday, I went on a first date with Tosh. I met Tosh at a party a few weeks ago. One of the things I can immediately tell while talking with Tosh is that she is a very intelligent person. The conversation flowed. After grabbing dinner, we decided to go see The Muppets Movie. I am still a bit on the fence about how attracted to Tosh I am. But we had fun and I am going to go out with her again this weekend.

On Friday, I had a blind date with Beaver (get your mind out of the gutter). My aunt set me up with Beaver. I was a bit hesitant, since I didn't feel like I really clicked with Beaver on the phone. When I picked her up, I thought she was better looking than in her photos. We grabbed some Indian food. There were a couple of moments where the conversation got out of hand, mostly because I was peppering Beaver with too many questions and I think Beaver started feeling like she was being interviewed. Still, dinner went well and we were both having fun. I didn't have anything else planned, so I suggested that we just go back to my house to see my Christmas tree. It wasn't a ploy to hook up, I just thought it was a simple activity that we could go do and then I could take her home.

As we were driving, I mentioned that I used to work at Walmart. Beaver went silent for a few seconds before asking "Did you used to hate country music?" "Umm, that's a really odd question, where did that come from?" I responded. "Just answer the question." "Yeah, I used to hate country music, I like it now, but growing up I didn't like it." So Beaver says to me "We have been out on a date before."

My first response was that no, we have not been out on a date. She must be confusing me with someone else. Then Beaver starts rattling off details about this date. None of them clicked with me. Finally she says that we had doubled with my roommate that was a cop. Gratefully, I explained to her that I had never had a roommate that was a cop and that she was just mistaken. Then she said he was a redhead... I got nervous. My redheaded roommate Bill was working as a prison guard while training to become a cop. But that was before he got married 8 1/2 years ago. Could I have possibly been on a date with Beaver 9 years ago and just forgotten about it? But I still wasn't convinced. So Beaver mentioned that I had put a gun in my mouth on the date (one time, a long time ago, as a joke, I remember putting my roommate's gun in my mouth). Then Beaver told me where she had used to leave and it all clicked for me. I remembered the date (although not all the details). It had been a blind date. While at dinner, I was frustrated with how uptight the girl was so I asked the girl if she ever wore a bikini. She looked at me and said "That is an inappropriate question and I am not going to answer it." And then she basically shut down. I should have taken her home right then. You can't recover from something like that. But no, in the wisdom of my youth, I kept trying. We finished dinner (FAIL), we went to the bowling alley (FAIL), we went back to my house to watch a movie (FAIL), I tried to cuddle with her (FAIL) and as I dropped her off, I shook her hand and said "Well, this was interesting" (FAIL). It wasn't a great date for me but as it turns out, it was Beaver's worst date ever.

So now, 9 years later, we are in my car. Beaver is laughing and I am awkwardly cringing at each detail from our first date. I apologized numerous times. And I did what I should have done 9 years ago: I took Beaver home. This time, I gave her a hug (and jokingly told her that this was interesting). She said that she looked forward to our next date in 9 years.

On Saturday, I hung out with Samsonite. We went to the mall to do some Christmas shopping. It was fun (I get along with Samsonite so much better when Gonzo is not around) but mostly uneventful. It's hard to see much of a future with the emotional damage that Samsonite has. But at least right now I have options.

Swallowing my pride or being swallowed by pride

After a little more thought, I decided maybe I would give Samsonite another chance. So I asked her out again. Her response, via text, was that she needed to be honest and that she wasn't ready to start dating. This was on Monday. I was extremely frustrated so I called up three new girls and scheduled dates for Thursday night, Friday night and potentially Saturday night (one of the girls might be going out of town). What have I got to lose, right?

Yesterday, I received a random text from Jewel. After three months of no contact, other than a random call which I didn't answer a few weeks ago, Jewel wanted to know how I was and if we could go to lunch. I rolled my eyes but agreed. So Jewel and I had lunch today. I didn't expect any substance in our conversation and none was given. We spent most of the lunch arguing about whether to end the war on drugs. And then lunch was over and she dropped me off back at my office. I didn't give her a hug. We didn't talk about why we broke up. We didn't talk about dating. She sent me a text after saying she had fun and that she really hopes we can be friends. Friends? Really?

Last night, Samsonite texted me to suggest we go shopping together. Shopping? Really? Am I just a really good friend to these girls? Are they hoping to keep me around while they get their crap together or are they just latching on to me like barnacles? I guess I can't complain too much, since I agreed to have lunch with Jewel and I agreed to go shopping (for Christmas) with Samsonite this weekend. It has me thinking about littlebrother. He has some of the flakiest friends. It's not just a coincidence, his easy going attitude attracts flaky people. Perhaps it's my easy going attitude that attracts flaky girls. But these girls aren't flaky about showing up to stuff when they say they will; they are flaky about committing to anything. I suppose it's my curse for not dating House.

Unwanted Drama

So last night, Samsonite and I agreed to get together. Her really good friend Gonzo was in town so I thought it might be me playing third wheel for most of the night. I was wrong. It was Samsonite that played third wheel to Gonzo and I. From the moment we met in the restaurant, Gonzo stole the show. She started asking me question after question and nitpicking at my answers. She talked and talked and talked and talked. There were times where I felt like I had no part in the conversation. Attempting to keep up with the intensity of Gonzo, I shifted gears. I almost made an inappropriate joke but stopped myself. However, I let it slip out that I had almost said something inappropriate. Both Samsonite and Gonzo were like "no, come on, it's just us, there is nothing you could say that would be inappropriate." So, I told them what it was. Talk about vicious. They attacked like a couple of starving wolves attacking a deer carcass. At that point, I gave up. I was stunned at how awful things were going.

As we were leaving, I thought I was free and clear. But no, I had no escape plan. Gonzo wanted to see my house. So they followed me home and I gave them the grand tour.

Sample conversation number 1:

Gonzo: Your tree needs to be in the middle of the window.

Me: I kinda like it where it is.

G: Well, you are wrong. Isn't he wrong Samsonite?

Samsonite: You are wrong Tripp, your tree needs to be in the middle of the window.

M: Well, thanks for your concern, but there are reasons why I placed it where I did and I want it to stay there.

G: You are wrong. Your tree needs to be in the middle of the window.

Sample conversation number 2:

G: Oh my gosh! You have tickets to the football game! Oh my gosh, can I buy one off of you?

M: No, they aren't for sale.

G: Come on! I will give you $20 for this ticket right now.

M: Umm, actually I paid $85 per ticket and I really want to go to that game.

G: Come on! I will give you $20 for this ticket right now.

I was annoyed. Gonzo started peppering me with questions again. I attempted to answer and she shot back with "All I heard was blah blah blah, I'm really insecure, blah blah blah." At that point, I should have just kicked her out of my house. Samsonite did nothing to defend me. So I tried defending myself, explaining what I meant. I was on my best behavior because I have had fun with Samsonite and I thought there could be some major potential there.

So Gonzo starts into this diatribe of how Mormon guys are all gatherers when they should all be hunters. I gave a couple of valid points that were shot down by both Gonzo and Samsonite (Samsonite remained relatively quiet through most of the conversation). At that point, I wanted them both out of my house, I made a mental note to myself that Samsonite would not be getting another phone call from me. Nevertheless, they were still in my house and I had no way to get them to leave. So the awkwardness continued. Gonzo was mean, Samsonite was mostly silent (except for an occasional laugh at something Gonzo said, just to sort of prove that she was on the same page as Gonzo on just about every topic). Finally, at 12:45, they left my house. Gonzo offered up a half-hearted apology on the way out the door. Samsonite stuck up for me a total of 1 time the entire night but it somehow felt enough to redeem her from throwing me under the bus the other 10 times.

Today I got a text from Samsonite asking if I wanted to go get pizza with them. Umm, no. A minute later, I got a text from Gonzo offering another apology. It seemed sincere so I accepted the apology and apologized to her if I had said something mean last night. Gonzo replied with "I don't need an apology. I wasn't offended, one has to be insecure to be offended." Oh how my blood boiled. I considered sending a profanity laced response that would surely put Gonzo in her place. But I realized that no matter what I wrote back to Gonzo, it would fail. No matter how accurately I described her insecurities or lack of manners and mean spirit, it would only make me look more insecure in both her eyes and Samsonite's eyes. So I told her that the apology was unaccepted. Gonzo gave some snide remark back about how she was only doing it to be a good friend to Samsonite. Can't imagine a lot of scenarios where I will be taking Samsonite out again.

Introducing Samsonite

Last night I had my first date with Samsonite. I met her last weekend at a party. I didn't get her number at the party but I added her as a friend on Facebook that night and then asked for her number via Facebook. It's not ideal but it worked.

I picked Samsonite up and immediately thought she was cuter than I remembered from meeting her before. That's always a good sign. The conversation never seemed to lag during dinner. Samsonite and I have the same sense of humor (quirky and a little off-colored) so it went well. Initially I hadn't planned on doing anything after dinner (since first dates are best left short) but I was really digging Samsonite so I took her to my house so we could watch a movie. It was super easy and natural to start cuddling with Samsonite. Sometimes I am not sure if other girls are just more awkward or if they just don't want to cuddle with me. Not that I am a cuddle slut. But a few minutes into the movie, Samsonite and I were cuddling. We did a bit of tickling and ended up making out. It had been way too long. I definitely want to do something with Samsonite again soon. The funny thing is, today as I rehashed our date, I kept wondering whether Samsonite was actually interested in me. I guess there must have been a couple of moments during the date when I felt unsure (these moments were probably not when we were kissing), although I can't put my finger on exactly what moments they were.

Tweak called me on the phone this week and gave me two phone numbers of girls that he thinks I should go out with (and that agreed to be set up with me). A coworker offered to set me up with his sister this week (unsolicited). Also, my aunt called me to suggest I get set up with her friend's little sister. After 6 weeks of no dates, having a dating pool of 6 or 7 girls feels a bit overwhelming. Of course, it's the good kind of overwhelming.

Speed Dating

Over the weekend, I went speed dating. After a significant dating hiatus, my hopes weren't too high of meeting anyone. A couple friends of mine were doing this speed dating event to launch their new dating website. Since I honestly had nothing better to do (and secretly since I thought speed dating might be a little fun), I headed over. The first thing I noticed was the disparity between guys and girls. There were more than twice as many girls as guys there.

I awkwardly took a seat. There were actually a few cute girls there. Not dream girls. But girls that had some potential. For whatever reason, I didn't feel intimidated. So I started talking... lots. Rather than give the usual rundown of who I am and where I am from and what I do, I tried to avoid those subjects and focus on just being fun. See, one of the biggest struggles I have on dates is because of my dating resume. I subconsciously feel as if I am in a job interview and I need to make sure that the interviewer knows that not only do I have multiple degrees but that they were obtained from prestigious institutions. The problem is, dating is not like job interviews. In job interviews, being subtle is often a negative. In dating, being subtle is the key.

So as the night progressed, I continued to avoid most of the talking points about my career or my education or how I play guitar. Instead, I focused on which Disney Princess I would date (I joked that it would be Beast but we all know it would be Belle). I asked about their careers but made all of my comments very lighthearted. And it worked. I was the belle of the ball. 9 different girls listed me as someone they would be interested in going out with! The next closest was a guy that had 3 girls list him as someone they would be interested in going out with. After the event, Rogen and I and one of the girls grabbed some dinner together.

On Saturday, I was hanging out with Sugarloaf and TheCaptain watching some football when Sugarloaf got an invite to go to a party. I am normally very hesitant to go to these parties, since I rarely meet anyone and generally don't have much fun. But I was feeling good, so I agreed to go. It was a blast. When we got there, I released all of my inhibitions. Why? I am not sure. I wish I could control it. I talked with a bunch of different girls. Two of them gave me their numbers and I am going to call them this week to set up dates. I don't think I even told them what I did for a living. I just had fun. I flirted shamelessly and fearlessly. I left the party feeling like a million bucks. I may not be back in the game yet, but at least I feel like I am a contender again.