Kissing or Memories with ManHands

I get a lot of pressure from a lot of different sources about kissing. My friends are always asking "so did you kiss her?" or "did you get some?" after I go on a date. Some of my coworkers want details. When explaining dates to people, one of the main topics is whether I kissed her or not and why. I think a lot of guys like to pretend that they are doing a lot more kissing with a lot more girls than they really are. For instance, most of my friends have not kissed that many girls. Littlebrother has probably kissed more girls than any of my other friends. Most people that I meet have kissed less than 10 people in their life.

Nevertheless, I feel pressure to kiss girls. I know that I kiss too many girls. Crap, I kiss girls that I don't like. I kiss girls that I kind of like. Rarely do I kiss girls that I like. A few years ago (more or less), my sister set me up with this girl Welder. Welder was my sister's college roommate. We went on a date and seemed to click. We ended up on a blanket in the park with me playing guitar for her. I decided to kiss her. Now, here's the weird part. After I kissed her, we got kicked out of the park cause it was after hours. We were walking back to my car and started holding hands. Welder had man hands! They weren't huge or anything. They were probably about the same size as my hands but it totally threw me off. How could I be kissing some girl when holding her hand freaked me out?

Welder and I ended up hooking up a couple more times after that but I never got over the hands thing. If I had held her hand prior to kissing her, I probably wouldn't have kissed her. So I am sure you are asking the same question that I am asking. Why do I keep making the same mistakes over and over again? I think I am just hoping that I will feel more of a connection with a girl if I kiss her. I watch too many movies.