My date with Belle went very well. Just about as well as I could have hoped. So why am I so nervous? Well, I saw Belle at church on Sunday, she isn't in my ward but she came to see a friend and was surprised to see me. I was so nervous to see her. Why? I am not sure I can explain. So I talked to her but I still had butterflies in my stomach two hours later. We agreed to hang out on Wednesday. And then I am taking her to the Taylor Swift concert one week from today. So boom, just like that, dates 2 and 3.
I have been doing all I can to keep my actions in check. For one, I didn't kiss her on Friday night. I think I might have had an opening and I ignored it. For another, I wanted to send her flowers today at work. But I avoided it. I also was going to send her a text just after seeing her at church but I waited until later that night. Furthermore, I thought about buying her a Taylor Swift CD last night at Walmart in preparation for the concert. It's pretty obvious that I have a tendency to overdo things early on. When she told me her dream car on our date, I almost blurted out that if we ended up together, I would buy her that car.
Anyway, I managed to avoid smothering her. My motto for all of this is "Why not me? Why not now?"
Miscarriage: My Story
6 months ago